(Close Window) Topic: Standard show lines
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 7, 2009 9:53am)
Stand there. See that spot?

Did you make it?
Message: Posted by: MikeHMagic (Dec 7, 2009 12:34pm)
No, the clean one! O that was the clean one.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 7, 2009 12:49pm)
Please stand on the red dot... don't LOOK DOWN it will disappear. Would you PLEASE stand on the dot... don't LOOK DOWN it just disappeared.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 7, 2009 3:03pm)
Stand right there. That's it, right over the trap door.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 9, 2009 1:33pm)
We have not met each other before this show. And you are absolutely sure that we do not know each other at all.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Dec 9, 2009 1:36pm)
Quote:

On 2009-12-09 13:33, JamesTong wrote:
We have not met each other before this show. And you are absolutely sure that we do not know each other at all.


"Yes, Daddy."
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 9, 2009 1:42pm)
If this is the first time you've seen me raise your hands for a second. Good, hands down. Now... If you have never seen me before, raise your hands, for a second....mmmm looks like the same people.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 9, 2009 1:55pm)
Quote:

On 2009-12-09 13:36, Bill Ligon wrote:
Quote:

On 2009-12-09 13:33, JamesTong wrote:
We have not met each other before this show. And you are absolutely sure that we do not know each other at all.


"Yes, Daddy."


That's a good one, Bill. :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 9, 2009 7:37pm)
Does anyone in the audience happen to have a loaded gun?
Message: Posted by: MrGreggy (Dec 10, 2009 2:13am)
Quote:
On 2009-12-09 19:37, Bob Sanders wrote:
Does anyone in the audience happen to have a loaded gun?


Probably not a good line to use for school shows.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 7:05am)
Can I borrow a hundred dollar bill?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 10, 2009 8:09am)
To 5 year old.."Married?...Oh, divorced?"...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 12:27pm)
Please shuffle the cards well while I use this deck to perform this trick.
Message: Posted by: Frank Starsini (Dec 10, 2009 12:28pm)
Look. Nothing in my sleeves and nothing up my hands.

I've said this by mistake so many times that I just kept it that way.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 12:32pm)
Please check this box thoroughly and make sure there are no wires, trapdoor, mirror, etc.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 10, 2009 2:23pm)
"Your $100 bill vanished....Do you have another one?"...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 10, 2009 3:53pm)
For my next trick I need someone not in the witness protection program.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 10, 2009 4:17pm)
Do you have another diamond ring I can borrow.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 10, 2009 4:18pm)
Are there any kids in the audience here not with a parent but would like to have a real rabbit?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 10, 2009 9:16pm)
I know what you are going to say.."He's talented as well as handsome."...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 10, 2009 9:38pm)
Pick any number between one and three.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 10:54pm)
Ladies and gentlemen, give her a round of applause!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 8:29am)
Thanks .. and drive home safely...
Message: Posted by: MrGreggy (Dec 11, 2009 8:31am)
Hello everybody! Please raise your hand if you're not here today.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 10:16am)
Special? Nope! A Frayed (afraid not) knot!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 11, 2009 11:25am)
You have been a great audience and give yourself a good round of applause. Good night, and drive home safely.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 3:00pm)
Don't tell anyone how we did it...
Message: Posted by: derrick (Dec 11, 2009 3:22pm)
Watch carefully, you will see that my fingers never leave my hands and my hands never leave my body.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 6:11pm)
(After getting a child to give his/her age) Wow! That is exactly how old I was at that age!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 7:22pm)
"What's your name? .. Mary?...That's my middle name"...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Dec 11, 2009 9:04pm)
Thank you, good night and drive carefully. Because I am walking home!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 9:10pm)
Is it a cherry colored card? Haven't you ever heard of Black Cherry?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 9:28pm)
I know what you are going to say...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 9:32pm)
Do you know one card from another? Which one is another?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 10:04pm)
And George, if that is your real name...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 11, 2009 11:31pm)
Can I call you, George?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 6:38am)
Run through the cards...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2009 10:51am)
Someone must have given you that name. Certainly you wouldn't buy it!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 12, 2009 12:35pm)
(Magician looking at the inside of the finger ring) "With Love, from all the guys!"
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 7:30am)
"It's the only card like that in the universe." ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 13, 2009 2:28pm)
(Magician doing the classic force) "I want you to freely select a card!"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 13, 2009 2:59pm)
I have no idea how many cards I'm putting on the table.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 3:04pm)
"I'll shuffle the cards and get them all confused."...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 13, 2009 5:37pm)
(With diamond ring) Look it even has a place where you could put a stone, if your had one.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 13, 2009 5:44pm)
Thank you folks, Ive had a gerat time here with you tonight. I want to leave you with one thought: Remember to live each day like it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.

Good night!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 6:54pm)
"The card goes up my sleeve, across my manly chest."...
Message: Posted by: TStone (Dec 13, 2009 9:19pm)
-"Have we met before?" (No)
-"Have you seen me before?" (No)
-"Then how do you know it's me?"
Message: Posted by: TStone (Dec 13, 2009 9:30pm)
-"Here I have a normal yellow hankerchief... that I've dyed red.
It's perfectly colored - no ink outside the contours.
As you see, it has eight corners - four on each side."

-"This is the first time this trick has failed... again."

-"It's less painful if you take your hands out of the pockets, before you applaud."

God, I absolutely hate stock lines. Stock lines are the number one reason that magic isn't recognized as an art form like theatre, dance or knitting.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 6:39am)
"I make a magical pass..."Hi there.."...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 14, 2009 6:55am)
"I'm going to make this hanky vanished from this tube. Poof! It's gone now. And the hardest thing to do is to make it appear again. Hey Presto! And it's back now."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 8:39am)
"I want you to make your mind blank..Wow, that was fast."...
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Dec 14, 2009 9:51am)
Now , we've got all these lines in the same place. Lets burn 'em and never use them again.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 10:19am)
"Here is an experiment of mind over matter, and with my mind, it doesn't matter."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 14, 2009 12:22pm)
"Look into my eyes! Yes, look straight into my eyes and don't even blink!"
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 2:54pm)
"Look, look, watch"...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 1:37am)
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, my name is ..."
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Dec 15, 2009 6:46am)
"Have we ever met before? No? You seem rather happy about that."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 15, 2009 6:49am)
"I cast a shadow over it and.."...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 10:06am)
"Would you like to see a card trick again?"
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2009 11:31am)
I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 1:10pm)
Now I am going to show you the oldest trick in the world - the cups and balls.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 15, 2009 2:23pm)
(Say this while you are restoring something)

And now and for a very old saying (deep breath.... go)

The beggar who sits cross-legged, naked on the steps of the great pagoda, in the middle of winter, with snow falling on his head, is no closer to heaven then that of the great white cockatiel who lays a square egg in the palace of the prince- on a full moon.... it has nothing to do with this trick but it is a very old saying.

(You can breath again)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 15, 2009 6:31pm)
"Here I have a regular deck of cards."...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 10:55pm)
"Pick a card, show it to the audience and don't show it to me."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 6:40am)
..and put it back, especially here...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 7:15am)
"I'm going to riffle this pack of cards and want you to say, 'Stop!' anytime you want."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 7:37am)
I will now lose your card into the deck...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 7:39am)
And will locate your card again.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 7:44am)
And now I have a regular piece of rope...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 7:48am)
And you will noticed that there are no mirrors or trapdoors around it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 8:22am)
Here are 3 different length ropes...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2009 9:43am)
Do this just like we rehearsed. You weren't the one at rehearsal?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 11:00am)
Lo and behold...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 16, 2009 11:25am)
Sorry about that... for my next trick.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 12:44pm)
Do you know how to cut a rope with this scissors?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 16, 2009 2:02pm)
Don't worry. Even though this is a very dangerous trick, I myself. have never been hurt.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 2:20pm)
Now for my next trick I will need ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2009 11:01pm)
That is the first time this didn't work again.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 11:12pm)
Follow exactly what I do eventhough it may look silly.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2009 11:14pm)
Before you reach in there, you aren't afraid of spiders or snakes, right?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 11:17pm)
Stand right there. Yes, right there where the trapdoor is.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 11:49pm)
Take a walk inside the card box...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 17, 2009 9:53am)
Do you see any mirros, wires, trapdoors and secret compartments?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 17, 2009 10:46am)
This will be done under test conditions...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 17, 2009 11:46am)
Notice that both ends of the wand are connected to the middle.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 17, 2009 12:19pm)
Hey Presto, Abracadabra, Sim Salabim ... and the silk is gone!
Message: Posted by: jazzy snazzy (Dec 17, 2009 2:09pm)
Watch carefully. For at no time will the fingers ever leave the hands.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 17, 2009 2:35pm)
What I have here is an ordinary deck of cards.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 17, 2009 3:22pm)
Can I borrow a hundred? Is this the bill you gave me? Thank you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 17, 2009 3:41pm)
Who gave me this quarter?..you?..thank you...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 17, 2009 5:38pm)
So that means we can split $100.25 between us.... somehow it doesn't seem fair.
Message: Posted by: Frank Starsini (Dec 17, 2009 5:45pm)
Quote:

On 2009-12-13 21:30, TStone wrote:
God, I absolutely hate stock lines. Stock lines are the number one reason that magic isn't recognized as an art form like theatre, dance or knitting.


... and nobody seems to care as long as it gets them their next kid's show.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 17, 2009 6:35pm)
'Where's the coin?........WRONG!'...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 18, 2009 10:11am)
Quote:

On 2009-12-17 17:45, Frank Starsini wrote:
Quote:

On 2009-12-13 21:30, TStone wrote:
God, I absolutely hate stock lines. Stock lines are the number one reason that magic isn't recognized as an art form like theatre, dance or knitting.


... and nobody seems to care as long as it gets them their next kid's show.


I agree with Frank.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 18, 2009 4:29pm)
"Want to change your mind?....please?" ...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 18, 2009 9:38pm)
"That never happened again"
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 18, 2009 9:40pm)
"You are the best audience I have had today"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 18, 2009 10:29pm)
Quote:

On 2009-12-18 16:29, joseph wrote:
"Want to change your mind?....please?" ...


"You have the freedom to change your mind. Is this your choice or you would like to change your mind now?"
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 18, 2009 10:56pm)
Don't you have another dollar bill?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 7:04am)
"I have here 4 and only 4 coins."...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 19, 2009 8:09am)
"That was my name when I was a little girl."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 10:16am)
"You forgot to sign it." ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 19, 2009 12:19pm)
Good evening ladies and gentlemen!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 5:39pm)
For my next miracle...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 19, 2009 7:15pm)
Notice that this piece of rope is the same length from either end.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 19, 2009 10:25pm)
And now, the time you have been waiting for ...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 19, 2009 11:04pm)
Please notice this is a regular deck of cards.... oh shoot I brought the wrong deck.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 20, 2009 3:59am)
(Magician holding a jumbo deck) ... This is my first deck of cards. And I can still remember back then that my hands are rather small and could hardly hold them properly.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 20, 2009 5:52am)
"Don't tell anyone how we did that."...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 20, 2009 11:27am)
Can you keep a secret?
Message: Posted by: ERIC (Dec 20, 2009 12:18pm)
To quote the amazing Presto;

"Now you can go home and try this...It won't work, but you'll have a lot of fun."

May he rest in peace.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 20, 2009 7:24pm)
It doesn't get any better folks...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 20, 2009 10:43pm)
I would like you to turn around and throw this ball to the audience. And the person who catches it would then come up on stage to return the ball to me.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2009 6:24am)
Oh, now he's good...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 21, 2009 9:09am)
Ladies and gentlemen, a big round of applause for ..., for coming up on stage.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2009 10:48am)
It's not a purse..it's a pouch...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 21, 2009 10:52am)
Here's a deck of cards. Please give it a good shuffle.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2009 3:23pm)
Cut the deck, and complete the cut...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 21, 2009 7:37pm)
Pick a card, any card.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2009 10:09pm)
We need a volunteer. Don't be shy many have survived.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2009 7:07am)
For the first time, name your card...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 9:55am)
Why is this coin stuck behind your ear?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2009 10:11am)
Sometimes when I turn back around, no one is here...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 12:39pm)
Close your eyes and think of a card.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2009 1:48pm)
Does anybody here play poker?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 2:49pm)
Is your card square or rectangular?
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Dec 22, 2009 2:52pm)
Okay, Watch, Look.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 3:12pm)
Did you see that? OK watch slower this time.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 6:46am)
Maybe I went too fast...watch...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 11:02am)
OK I'll do it in slow motion this time.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Dec 23, 2009 12:07pm)
I'll do it slower so you can catch my sophisticated sleight of hand.

PS. I'm better then you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 12:33pm)
Is this still too fast for you? OK, I am going to do it again one last time ... this time it is going to be a frame by frame movement.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 1:46pm)
I'll keep doing it till you like it...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 1:49pm)
Do you like the trick? Would you like to see it again?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 1:55pm)
Notice there is nothing up my sleeve...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 2:26pm)
As you can see that thi bag is empty.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 23, 2009 5:40pm)
Why do I need you to take me to Vegas? I can take myself.


If this was real, wouldn't I be at home instead of putting on a show?


Applause in the middle of the show....(mutter) Maybe I should have started, with this trick!

Whatever you're doing in the back, there, would you let us in on it? Maybe we can do it too because it looks like it's more fun then the show.

If you two keep talking, we're going to have to separate you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 23, 2009 9:41pm)
Lady, would you please tell your dog I'm not a tree!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 24, 2009 12:07am)
Quote:

On 2009-12-23 21:41, Bob Sanders wrote:
Lady, would you please tell your dog I'm not a tree!


That's a good one. Bob.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 24, 2009 7:34am)
Pick any odd number between 8 & 10...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 24, 2009 9:56am)
Back when you were my age, how did you do it? (Especially for younger spectators.)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 24, 2009 10:34am)
I would like you to point at any one of these cards and touch it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 24, 2009 2:58pm)
One of these coins is not a nickel...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 24, 2009 6:27pm)
Can you reach into my pocket. On second thought...

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 6:28pm
On the count of three you are going to read my mind.

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 6:28pm
I would like you to look into the bag.

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 6:29pm
As you can see these are solid rings.

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 6:30pm
Think of a color between one and ten.

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 6:32pm
Think of a picture card between one and ten.

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 6:33pm
These are perfectly ordinary coins.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 24, 2009 9:49pm)
Is this the card you just selected?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 25, 2009 7:09am)
Let me mix the cards and get them all confused...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 25, 2009 9:12am)
Could you stretch out your hand. I mean the clean one.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 26, 2009 3:59am)
Please notice that at no time do my hands leave my arms.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 26, 2009 9:25am)
Please inspect this deck of cards and noticed that it is brand new and unopened.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 26, 2009 3:00pm)
Anybody have a dollar?...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 26, 2009 6:48pm)
I do? How do you want that... all pennies or just by itself?

Oh... that was a question for lay people.... If I were to have a question for Lay people... it would be "Who thought-up the ridges on the chips?"


- - - -

Please stand on the trap door (or under the sand bag)

Or in my case, in the paint booth while the lacquer is flowing freely. That could be my New years resolution... wear a mask.... but then, where's all the fun? Not to mention the lung damage that should be covered under the new insurance plan... I told you not to mention the lung damage.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 26, 2009 6:54pm)
Use this pen and write down the serial number. Pay no attention to the chain on that pen. All of them at the bank were like that.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 26, 2009 8:12pm)
All I have to do is snap my fingers...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 26, 2009 9:28pm)
... and you will open your eyes and wake up.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 27, 2009 12:19am)
Please noticed that these cards are only printed on their fronts and backs.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 27, 2009 6:20am)
I will now read your mind...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 27, 2009 11:06am)
And now ... the moment you have been waiting for ...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 27, 2009 4:31pm)
These cards are marked! They do it at the factory otherwise they would all be blank.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 27, 2009 7:48pm)
This is the trick for me. It's fool proof and I'm here to prove it!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 27, 2009 10:38pm)
Quote:

On 2009-12-27 11:06, JamesTong wrote:
And now ... the moment you have been waiting for ...



... my favorite trick called "My Favorite Trick".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 28, 2009 7:12am)
This trick is great..I've seen it before...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 28, 2009 11:31am)
Would you believe that this silk can travel faster than the speed of light?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 28, 2009 1:41pm)
Have we prearranged anything?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 28, 2009 6:05pm)
Of course, I did that on purpose.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 28, 2009 8:46pm)
Some of these things you just do for yourself.

(Not that I've ever needed to actually use that line)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 28, 2009 9:33pm)
Did you see that? The silk just travelled over there and back.
Message: Posted by: magicoftomh (Dec 29, 2009 1:20am)
Now take this clean, unused handkerchief...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 29, 2009 6:45am)
That should leave how many in my hand?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 29, 2009 7:47am)
If I place two balls in my hand and one in my pocket, how many balls do you think is in my hand?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 29, 2009 10:54am)
Thank you very much. Both of you!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 29, 2009 12:17pm)
You have been a great audience. Good night and thank you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 29, 2009 1:48pm)
And now for the serious part of the show...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 29, 2009 9:32pm)
You don't trust me, and look where you were sitting!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 29, 2009 10:08pm)
And now ... I will not only find your card but also changed it into the Ace of hearts.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 30, 2009 8:48am)
Some people call this a pill box...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 10:40am)
What I have here is a fortune telling fish
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 30, 2009 1:40pm)
Write a name on this post it...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 2:06pm)
I would like you to sign on this card.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 2:37pm)
Please spell your name correctly.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 2:40pm)
Now follow exactly what I do ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 2:41pm)
Have you ever followed directions before?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 31, 2009 7:18am)
Do you know what an illusion is?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 31, 2009 10:55am)
Can you keep a secret?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 31, 2009 11:14am)
Think of a card. You know that you can start that any time now?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 31, 2009 11:25am)
Say 'stop' anytime you want ... like right now?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 31, 2009 11:34am)
Tell me when to stop... Tonight!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 31, 2009 11:37am)
Tell me when to stop ... we are still waiting ....
Message: Posted by: Ken Dumm (Dec 31, 2009 11:43am)
What's your name? (little girl)

That's a pretty name, you know that was my name when I was a pretty little girl.
I'm kidding...

I was never pretty.

Posted: Dec 31, 2009 11:47am
Raise your hand if you're not here.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 31, 2009 12:00pm)
Right after I was your age, they invented the clock.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 31, 2009 12:35pm)
When I was young the playing cards look so big (holding jumbo deck).
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 31, 2009 2:34pm)
I wish I could cut to cards like you just did...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 31, 2009 10:05pm)
When did you give up being a professional gambler?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 1, 2010 7:39am)
I will arrange the aces in "T" formation...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 1, 2010 10:38am)
This time we'll try to keep the cards all in one deck.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 1, 2010 11:21am)
Can you say "Abracadabra" together with me?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 1, 2010 11:58am)
With feet that big I bet you have to go to an intersection to turn around.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 1, 2010 1:34pm)
If you know how it works then why don't you come up here and show everyone?

alternativly

You can't know how this works or I'd be sitting in the audience watching you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 1, 2010 3:48pm)
Notice the cards are coming cleanly off the top...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 1, 2010 11:43pm)
No Sir, the trick hasn't started yet.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 2, 2010 7:18am)
You watch him so he doesn't cheat...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 2, 2010 2:54pm)
You are sure you didn't see that? Did you ever run with scissors?
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 2, 2010 8:24pm)
I am afraid she really is cut in half.

Posted: Jan 2, 2010 8:26pm
I would like you to close your eyes and count to one thousand as I deal the cards.

Posted: Jan 2, 2010 8:27pm
On the count of three I want you to pull the trigger.

Posted: Jan 2, 2010 8:30pm
On the count of three I will make your husband disappear. What are you doing after the show?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 2, 2010 9:11pm)
Can we use your gun or is mine OK?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 3, 2010 7:48am)
Before you cut, those pink things are my fingers...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 3, 2010 3:32pm)
Oh no! The blade isn't real. The cabbage just fell apart in a straight line.
Message: Posted by: Douglas Lippert (Jan 4, 2010 1:30am)
"Abracadabra!"

"Hocus Pocus!"

"For my next trick!"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 4, 2010 9:04pm)
Don't worry, we have superglue.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 4, 2010 9:12pm)
Can I use your imagination?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 6, 2010 2:43pm)
The magician gets to use the sword.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 6, 2010 8:52pm)
And now, another card trick...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 6, 2010 9:49pm)
Notice that all the cards are either red or black.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 7, 2010 4:15pm)
..and they are different on the faces...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 8, 2010 2:03pm)
Notice that on that side, all the cards are different.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 9, 2010 1:52pm)
So you each have 10 cards, right?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 9, 2010 1:54pm)
I'm going to turn my back so I can't see. (Like that causes me to go blind!)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 9, 2010 1:55pm)
I say shiffle cause I can't say shuffle...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 9, 2010 2:28pm)
It's so nice seeing you again, Your honor.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 9, 2010 3:19pm)
Just say stop...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 10, 2010 4:59pm)
Yes, it is a real magic wand!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 10, 2010 6:28pm)
One at a time, these coins will jump across...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 13, 2010 8:04pm)
Without being seen ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 14, 2010 9:20am)
Relax ... and close your eyes ...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 14, 2010 8:16pm)
All you have to do is find the odd card...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 15, 2010 10:03am)
Would you believe it if I were to make myself vanish in front of you right now? Alright, just close both you eyes!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 15, 2010 3:41pm)
Let's see how you did...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 16, 2010 12:50pm)
Please raise up your hands if you have not seen me before.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 16, 2010 6:04pm)
I remember the time this trick worked!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 16, 2010 7:16pm)
Don't show me..I've seen the trick before...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 16, 2010 9:47pm)
Please don't pick the Ace of Spades. Again!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 17, 2010 2:15am)
With the blink of the eye, the ball has vanished and is now in my pocket.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 17, 2010 7:24am)
Don't blink or you'll miss it...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 17, 2010 9:41pm)
Now watch this with your fastest eye.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 17, 2010 10:13pm)
Well, it worked last night...

Posted: Jan 17, 2010 10:15pm
If you enjoy dental surgery you will love this next trick.

Posted: Jan 17, 2010 10:18pm
This next trick was taught to me several years ago by Moses.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 17, 2010 10:31pm)
This did not start out to be a trick. We just found ourselves in one.
Message: Posted by: alpha alex (Jan 17, 2010 10:31pm)
Now put your mind in blank... uuh!.. that was pretty fast
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 18, 2010 6:38am)
I'll prove the hand is quicker than the eye...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 18, 2010 9:05am)
Who do you think I am? A magician?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 19, 2010 3:40pm)
Remember how we did this in rehearsal?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 20, 2010 9:20pm)
Where did you learn that shuffle?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 21, 2010 10:51am)
If I could sing or dance things would have been different.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 21, 2010 4:20pm)
And one extra card we will talk about later...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 21, 2010 5:42pm)
Please hold this card tightly between your hands.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 21, 2010 5:47pm)
This particular rope has two ends and a middle.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 21, 2010 6:13pm)
I promise this will not hurt a bit.

Posted: Jan 21, 2010 6:14pm
When you get to a thousand I want you to open your eyes.

Posted: Jan 21, 2010 6:15pm
Tell me when to stop..Oh not yet
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 21, 2010 6:16pm)
I'm going to do this until it works. Or until I run out of healthy volunteers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 22, 2010 12:27pm)
This is definitely not your card. Am I right?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 23, 2010 6:46am)
Open you hand and count the rabbits...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 25, 2010 12:05am)
When I picked you out of the audience, I didn't realize how tall you are.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 25, 2010 1:33pm)
If you could spell BOB backwards and it still mean the same thing ... then I am a magician.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 25, 2010 4:21pm)
I only use my powers for good...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 26, 2010 9:57am)
You're really tall for a midget!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 30, 2010 6:34am)
This worked back at the asylum...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 30, 2010 10:58am)
Before I magically changed it, did your card used to be the eight of hearts?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 6, 2010 7:06am)
Have we pre-arranged anything here?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 6, 2010 9:23pm)
I hope that's not the envelop with the Suicide Note.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 7, 2010 9:59am)
I don't tear it up...I tear it down...
Message: Posted by: Magic Enhancer (Feb 7, 2010 10:27am)
Here, hold this....
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 7, 2010 1:35pm)
If you squeeze it tightly, you will feel it go...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 7, 2010 5:38pm)
Put your feet, one there, one there and the other over there.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 10, 2010 10:19pm)
Here is an ancient chinese secret...
Message: Posted by: devlinn (Feb 12, 2010 11:38pm)
“Watch, watch..Timex”

Posted: Feb 12, 2010 11:39pm
“Please stand a little closer to the floor.”

Posted: Feb 12, 2010 11:39pm
“They are all exactly the same, especially this one.”

Posted: Feb 12, 2010 11:40pm
“I said blow, not spit”

Posted: Feb 12, 2010 11:40pm
“This is so much better medicated”

Posted: Feb 12, 2010 11:41pm
“Really, that’s not your card. Do you see one you like?”

And my personal favorite..”Oh Crap”.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Feb 13, 2010 1:02am)
Please take a card. Now, shuffle it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 13, 2010 6:19am)
Does anyone have a 10' piece of rope on them?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 13, 2010 10:16am)
Do you think your insurance will cover this?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 13, 2010 2:58pm)
How many tries do I get?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 13, 2010 8:54pm)
Sooner or later this trick is going to work without injury. Feel lucky?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 14, 2010 7:36am)
Count the cards face down on my hand...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 14, 2010 6:41pm)
Now tell me which coin is copper.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 14, 2010 7:52pm)
How many cards in a deck of 52?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 14, 2010 8:04pm)
Let's put your hand in there!
Message: Posted by: MagicbyCarlo (Feb 17, 2010 11:45pm)
"Now sign your name across the face of the card. Don't worry about me seeing it; I've seen this trick before."
Message: Posted by: Magic Enhancer (Feb 17, 2010 11:58pm)
"ANd now, for my next trick...." LOL. I hope nobody really uses this.....

Robert Haas
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 18, 2010 8:21am)
Now if I really were a magician...
Message: Posted by: Magic Enhancer (Feb 18, 2010 9:13am)
"For this next trick, I'm going to need a volunteer......"

Robert Haas
Message: Posted by: MagicbyCarlo (Feb 18, 2010 9:01pm)
"The more you drink, the better I get."
Message: Posted by: BrianMillerMagic (Feb 18, 2010 9:32pm)
Quote:

On 2010-02-12 23:41, devlinn wrote:
And my personal favorite..”Oh Crap”.


:lol: That's fantastic. Thanks for a good laugh.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 19, 2010 1:37pm)
If you have seen this on TV, I hope the guy wasn't wearing a mask.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Feb 19, 2010 4:58pm)
"Raise your right hand. No the other right hand." "Here I have a tube with absolutely nothing in it." "I had these solid gold rings covered with aluminum to protect the gold." "I pull this hair from my head and wrap it around the ends of these sticks..." "When is a knot not a knot? When it's not." "Turn it around?" "I throw away 1-2-3, leaving..." "How old are you? (10) Are you married?" "You are getting sleepy." "Pick any card except the Ace of Spades." "Tie my hands tighter, tigther, ohhhh, not that tight..."
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Feb 19, 2010 5:31pm)
Pick a card, any card. Take the one on the bottom.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 19, 2010 6:26pm)
See that spot? Did you make it?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 19, 2010 9:06pm)
Are any cards stuck together?...
Message: Posted by: Magic Enhancer (Feb 20, 2010 11:42am)
"Tell everyone what you see......"
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 20, 2010 1:28pm)
Don't show me the card...I've seen this trick before...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 22, 2010 8:36am)
Notice that none of the corners of that card touches another one.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 23, 2010 7:13pm)
These cards all look the same on the back...
Message: Posted by: landmark (Feb 23, 2010 8:19pm)
"When I was a boy, my grandfather used to take out an old deck of cards ..."

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:19pm
"Is that not amazing"?

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:20pm
"When I was a little boy, I had never seen snow before ...

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:21pm
"Clearly, only one of these seven keys will open this chest."

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:21pm
"Is there any reason you chose that number"?

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:23pm
" The four of clubs--but you were thinking of another card first and then switched back to the four!"

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:31pm
"How many were thinking of a triangle in a circle"?

Posted: Feb 23, 2010 8:32pm
"Drugstore!"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Feb 23, 2010 8:37pm)
So I said to the guy behind the counter... do you have the trick where you have 6 cards, throw away 3 and still have 6?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 25, 2010 9:56pm)
I'm going to stand to do this one...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 27, 2010 6:36pm)
I need you to hold this steel ball without breaking it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 28, 2010 8:00am)
Hey kid...What's that in your ear?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 28, 2010 12:35pm)
Do you know who I am? No? Neither do I know who you are! Isn't that a coincidence?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 28, 2010 3:11pm)
Daisy?..That was my name when I was little...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 28, 2010 10:08pm)
Notice that this rope is the same length from both ends.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 1, 2010 9:27am)
Do you know what this is?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 1, 2010 9:59pm)
Look for the one that is face down.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 6, 2010 7:20am)
Only one card has a different colored back...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 6, 2010 12:54pm)
Abracadabra! ... hocus pocus! ... simsalabim! ... and now ...
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Mar 6, 2010 2:28pm)
Ummm, now, um ,yes er ummm
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 7, 2010 12:40pm)
Would you believe that I can ...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 8, 2010 7:45am)
Guess what this ring and rope are for?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 8, 2010 12:29pm)
Raise your hands if you have not seen me before!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 8, 2010 11:34pm)
Do you still remember your card?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 9, 2010 11:24am)
Is your card the queen of hearts?
Message: Posted by: teedpop (Mar 9, 2010 6:32pm)
"A normal shuffle shuffles the cards into one another, while the unshuffle shuffles the cards out of one another."

Posted: Mar 9, 2010 6:34pm
"Do you know what I am going to do with this?" "No" "Uh... I was hoping you did because I don't know either..."
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 10, 2010 11:50am)
I learned this on the way back from Mars.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 10, 2010 12:41pm)
Boys and girls, can you count? If you can, please follow after me ...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 12, 2010 3:52pm)
If I put these moon rocks in my pocket, they will burn my leg...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 13, 2010 7:33pm)
Except for the marked ones, these are just ordinary cards.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 14, 2010 7:33am)
This ancient coin dates back to 1960...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 15, 2010 1:32pm)
I must have left my teeth in the glass this morning.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 15, 2010 1:49pm)
Have you seen this funny looking moon rock before?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 15, 2010 1:56pm)
Nothing here.... nothig here (point at head) And nothing here...

(Who know there were so many standard lines?)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 15, 2010 2:01pm)
(So far we have reached 12 pages of standard lines. Are there more?)
Message: Posted by: Billie Bonkers (Mar 15, 2010 5:32pm)
Don't forget ladies and gentlemen the more money you give me the more money....i have!
or
Thank you very much, If you enjoyed the show we're called Fred's Flying Circus..If you didn't like us at all we're called Cirque du Soleil!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 17, 2010 10:03pm)
If you don't believe me, just ask me and I'll tell you...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 19, 2010 10:18pm)
Well there is Judge Smith in the audience. I've never seen him from up this high before.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 20, 2010 7:25am)
Sit on these cards...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 2, 2010 9:14am)
No, use the other end of the wand.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 2, 2010 1:14pm)
It seem this wand is not working. Let's use a bigger wand now.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 4, 2010 12:06pm)
I thought you examined this ring?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 4, 2010 1:18pm)
Please make a selection by pointing to a card ...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 4, 2010 5:25pm)
This is a real authentic copy of the original item.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 5, 2010 1:40pm)
Did you know that I get paid by tearing up this newspaper?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 10, 2010 7:47am)
Would you believe your card is in my genuine fake leather wallet?...
Message: Posted by: trombley (Apr 24, 2010 10:23am)
And with any luck...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 24, 2010 4:20pm)
Don't worry, This won't hurt... ... ...much.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 25, 2010 7:12am)
The name of your card is Sally...
Message: Posted by: trombley (Apr 26, 2010 10:41am)
I have a here a perfectly normal dove pan...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 27, 2010 2:09pm)
Please examine this cup ... you'll find there are no mirrors, magnets, and trapdoor inside it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 1, 2010 6:43am)
Here is an ordinary rope, available at any magic store...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 1, 2010 1:15pm)
Do you like tricks? (tear up their money) Do you like puzzles?
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 1, 2010 5:38pm)
Let me know when the coin in your hand feels red hot...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 2, 2010 1:15pm)
Please turn around and throw this (sponge) rock at the audience.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 2, 2010 10:38pm)
Houdini couldn't escape from these cuffs...
Message: Posted by: DATMagic (May 4, 2010 12:00am)
We'll cut the cake after this one.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 4, 2010 9:46am)
I only took his watch and keys!
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 9, 2010 8:30am)
Which one of these watches is yours?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 14, 2010 10:49am)
I learned this effect from an ancient magician at WalMart.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 14, 2010 2:35pm)
Did you know this trick is a lot funnier when Joseph does it?
Message: Posted by: busterjuggler (May 15, 2010 4:03am)
After stealing watch and they don't notice "Just make sure you WATCH this next trick"
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 15, 2010 6:35am)
Yeah, now he's good...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 15, 2010 6:47pm)
Notice that the silk is the same size on both sides.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 16, 2010 7:52am)
If you lent me this 20, why can't you remember the serial #?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 20, 2010 8:45am)
Hold all three in separate hand.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 22, 2010 6:04am)
Jay isn't here, so you are stuck with me...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 22, 2010 7:32am)
Is there an officer in the audience with the key to these cuffs?
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 23, 2010 7:25am)
Don't worry; I've been practicing this finger chopper since this morning...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 27, 2010 8:25am)
Do this just the way we rehearsed.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 4, 2010 3:57pm)
Hey, I do the jokes here...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 4, 2010 7:58pm)
Be careful, they will try to learn the secret from you. Don't tell!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 5, 2010 7:05am)
How long have you been doing magic?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 5, 2010 12:39pm)
I'm sorry that I lost your ring.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 6, 2010 7:03am)
You're not mad, are ya?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 6, 2010 5:36pm)
Hold this bag and don't dump the rattle snake out until I tell you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 9, 2010 9:23pm)
Are you still sitting on those 10 cards?...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 10, 2010 7:03pm)
I wonder if Henning got his start, like this.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 11, 2010 7:14am)
Cool...I never saw this trick before either...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 12, 2010 12:20pm)
You put one foot in front of the other.... that's called w a l k ing.
Message: Posted by: madmonsterparty (Jun 12, 2010 11:48pm)
Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls Backwards
Niagara Falls Frozen

Posted: Jun 12, 2010 11:48pm
And while your shuffling those cards, we'll use these cards.
Message: Posted by: madmonsterparty (Jun 12, 2010 11:50pm)
This is what we call knot magic because it's not magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 13, 2010 7:01am)
You hold this end, you hold this end, and you hold this end...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 14, 2010 1:25pm)
It's in the middle which is right near the center.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 14, 2010 7:50pm)
Point one, but just one.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 14, 2010 8:40pm)
To the new volunteer coming up onto the stage: "Welcome to my office." Or in the case of doing a show at a funeral home: "Welcome to my parlor."

Posted: Jun 14, 2010 8:41pm
By the way, where can parlor magic be performed?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 15, 2010 2:53pm)
Now watch closely, I'm not doing this over.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 15, 2010 8:52pm)
Don't worry, I only use my powers for good...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 19, 2010 7:48pm)
Notice that this end of the wand is just as white as the other.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 20, 2010 7:33am)
When you weren't looking, the ball jumped into this cup...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 20, 2010 2:20pm)
Did you see something happen? No. That's because I didn't do it yet!!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 20, 2010 10:03pm)
My parrot loves this next effect...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 20, 2010 10:32pm)
Please don't tell my insurance agent about my next trick!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 27, 2010 7:51am)
I can't afford a female assistant, so I use this Queen of hearts...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 30, 2010 8:55am)
I need a volunteer that is not afraid of snakes...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 5, 2010 10:40am)
I bought these blank cards when the card company was on strike...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 6, 2010 3:33pm)
Put both hands on the top of your head and hold this with the other one.
Message: Posted by: robertmichaels (Jul 8, 2010 2:45am)
Please inspect these and make sure it's an ordinary deck of trick cards.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 8, 2010 8:21am)
Please examine this trick string, but don't inhale any of the escaping gas...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 8, 2010 8:40am)
Yep! Look at the tie. It had to be a gift. Right?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 8, 2010 10:25am)
If I wore socks with my tux, I can make the card appear in one of them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 10, 2010 3:44pm)
Please stand right there ... yes, right on the trap door.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 10, 2010 9:01pm)
These are toe cuffs, but I'll use them on my thumbs...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 10, 2010 9:03pm)
"Magic in da house!"
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 12, 2010 8:17am)
Thanks, and drive home safely...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 12, 2010 11:47am)
Are you clapping because you liked my show, or because I am done?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 15, 2010 8:04am)
This trick is good..I've seen it before...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 17, 2010 7:30pm)
Is the rest of the audience like this guy?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2010 3:42am)
Have you seen this 'brain zapper' before? (Showing a funny and weird looking magic wand.)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 19, 2010 6:48am)
I dropped the coin to teach you kids a lesson in gravity...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 20, 2010 9:27am)
Get your camera ready in case this trick works.
Message: Posted by: Dai Hard (Jul 20, 2010 2:28pm)
Every time I saw this trick I was completely amazed....judging by your reaction, I was completely alone.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:29pm
Calm down, sir, I'm married.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:30pm
More thrills and excitement than a handful of dry cat food.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:31pm
This will knock your socks off. Are you wearing socks? How about pantyhose, I love a challenge!

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:33pm
(Offering to let a female spectator take something out of your pants pocket) "Take your time, it's my birthday."

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:52pm
("Can you make me disappear?") Yeah, but you'd have to reappear at my house. It freaks the cat out.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:53pm
"Borrow a bill and they say, "Can you turn it into a hundred?") Absolutely. It will cost you $200 to see it.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:54pm
(Point to your watch) I didn't even have this when I got here!

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:55pm
This is your first time, isn't it?

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:56pm
I love that deer in the headlights look.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:57pm
Just say stop any time. Remember when you used to say stop? It'll come back to you.

Posted: Jul 20, 2010 2:58pm
That would have been cool, though, huh?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 21, 2010 6:58am)
I will prove that I'm not your average youtube magician...
Message: Posted by: Don Lamb (Jul 25, 2010 12:11am)
You too can make magic "Woofle Dust." Just stir cigarette ashes and dandruff together until they become invisible.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 25, 2010 6:41am)
I bought this flea circus at the flea market...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 25, 2010 3:08pm)
What do you think would happen when you sprinkle some woofle dust on your $10 note?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 26, 2010 9:04am)
I only do this trick with my left hand. I would hate to lose my best one.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 26, 2010 2:43pm)
Would you rather give me the $100 bill or the $50 bill?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 27, 2010 1:46pm)
How many times have you seen this show today?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 28, 2010 12:11pm)
Looks like you have come up on stage 7 times within this week.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 29, 2010 9:56pm)
Notice how far the corners are from the center...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 31, 2010 7:51am)
I'll bend this quarter just using whatever is left of my mind...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 1, 2010 5:24pm)
Thanks for helping me. Aren't you glad we are to the part with dangerous animals?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 3, 2010 9:05pm)
When the cobra comes out of the basket, grab it...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 3, 2010 9:19pm)
How did you do that? Very well, thank you.

Posted: Aug 3, 2010 9:20pm
Pick any card... NOT that one!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 4, 2010 11:24am)
Replace the card anywhere, especially here...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 9, 2010 3:44pm)
Actually, I didn't need a volunteer. I just wanted to see if you would leave the guy sitting next to you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 14, 2010 7:28am)
I'm going to mix the cards and get them all confused...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 16, 2010 10:37am)
I need a volunteer that can count to ten... Correctly!
Message: Posted by: Bill Palmer (Aug 16, 2010 7:31pm)
It's very interesting. Some people seem proud to know so many stock lines. Others seem to have a misunderstanding about what is a stock line and what isn't.

I won't bother to explain that one. The ones who would understand already know what I'm talking about, the others wouldn't get it in a million years.

Here's something to remember. Every "stock" line had an originator. If you have borrowed a line from someone because it got a laugh when you heard them do it, you may have pinched it from the originator.

I'm actually old enough that I know who originated some of those lines.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 16, 2010 7:56pm)
Would the real Bill Palmer, please stand up?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 21, 2010 7:16am)
You're probably wondering why these cards are cut diagonally...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 21, 2010 7:33am)
Nothing builds confidence like borrowing a long pencil with a worn out eraser.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 28, 2010 7:52am)
Anyone have a dollar bill? I only have $100s...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 25, 2010 8:12am)
Other magicians do Cup and Ball but I use a Cup and Cube.

Face the other way and you'll have a larger audience.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 30, 2010 7:07am)
Don't eat the oranges on that bloomin' bush...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2010 7:46am)
Look up! See the trap door?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 15, 2010 8:20am)
I may not look like an old wizard, but I'm just as good...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 16, 2010 4:51pm)
For my next trick, I really need to rehearse.
Message: Posted by: DanielCoyne (Nov 17, 2010 12:22am)
Quote:

On 2010-08-03 21:05, joseph wrote:
When the cobra comes out of the basket, grab it...

That's hilarious. : )
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 17, 2010 10:06am)
I see that your parole officer is with you...
Message: Posted by: David Thiel (Nov 17, 2010 3:47pm)
"HEY! You guys want to see a good magic show? YEAH? Really makes me wish I could do one..."
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 17, 2010 10:12pm)
Did anyone drop a roll of twenties with a rubber and around them? Here is the rubber band!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 20, 2010 6:51am)
Is this a necklace, or costume jewelry?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2010 8:40am)
It's OK! I'm a part time doctor. I do "pat downs" for Homeland Security at the airport.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 20, 2010 12:40pm)
Magicians run in my family...almost always from their audiences...a couple of them can do a 4 minute mile.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 21, 2010 6:25am)
Please, no cameras..the flash gets the tigers mad...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 21, 2010 6:02pm)
Absolutely nothing up my sleeve...absolutely nothing between my ears...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 21, 2010 7:11pm)
Pay attention ,, but not to closely.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 21, 2010 7:35pm)
Have you ever played 52 pickup?
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 22, 2010 1:51am)
Don't feel obligated to hold your applause till the end.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 22, 2010 8:55am)
I don't understand. It worked with the other end of the wand!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 22, 2010 8:40pm)
Return the cuffs to my dungeon after the show...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 22, 2010 11:23pm)
Heads I win, Tails you lose.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 23, 2010 2:00pm)
I know there is a key around here somewhere...darn, did I forget it at home again?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 24, 2010 7:24pm)
There's no point in taking a Full Deck to dinner.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 24, 2010 10:10pm)
Didn't you once play a love scene on the stage in Davenport, Iowa...or was that a love scene on the davenport in Stage, Iowa.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2010 7:58am)
Now for the part of the show where babies like to cry loud...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 25, 2010 12:38pm)
So you noticed , I'm not playing with a full deck.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 25, 2010 6:20pm)
Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a Lexus and eating dinner at 4:00 PM in Florida.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2010 7:34pm)
I keep the rope here and the knots over there.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 1, 2010 4:17pm)
(After an effect fails)...Know you know why they call me the amazing wiz
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 1, 2010 7:42pm)
Careful, don't step in the blood.
Message: Posted by: knick23 (Dec 3, 2010 9:48am)
I'm confused, this is a forum for wit isn't it? What's the point of all the straight lines here, it makes reading half of this a touch frustrating.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 3, 2010 12:35pm)
Quote:

On 2010-12-03 09:48, knick23 wrote:
I'm confused, this is a forum for wit isn't it? What's the point of all the straight lines here, it makes reading half of this a touch frustrating.


Did you hear the one where the man said "Doctor my arm hurts when I bend it" and the doctor said "Don't bend it"?
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 3, 2010 5:13pm)
Come on ..Pick a card I promise it won't hurt.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 4, 2010 8:12am)
Who was at my last show here 8 years ago?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 4, 2010 8:54am)
I wish my hands matched!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 4, 2010 12:49pm)
Would you please come up here and talk ... so I can go in the audience and interrupt you?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 4, 2010 5:50pm)
Notice that the corners are at the ends of the straight sides.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 5, 2010 7:12am)
I have the only rope with 4 ends...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 5, 2010 2:15pm)
If you open your mouth one more time, I'm going to shove this microphone so far down your throat that we'll get feedback when you sit.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 5, 2010 9:43pm)
Now which one is the largest half?
Message: Posted by: Lash (Dec 6, 2010 10:52pm)
Have we ever met before? Then how do you know it's me?
Message: Posted by: Wravyn (Dec 7, 2010 10:49am)
To child assistant: You are in what grade?
Child: 4th
Magician: And you are how old?
Child: 9, going on 10.
Magician: that's great!
Magician to audience: Ladies and Gents, this is ________ and isn't it amazing he/she is only 4 years old and already in 9th grade going into the 10th?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 8, 2010 7:29pm)
Whatever you do, pick the one that I predicted.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2010 10:32am)
Hey, it was either this or barber school...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 11, 2010 4:04pm)
I want you to know I gave up a promising career as a brain surgeon to learn to do this stuff!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2010 5:25pm)
Aren't you glad this is not the airport? We are not going to pat you down!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 11, 2010 6:21pm)
Now watch closely...not THAT close!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2010 7:06am)
I'm almost out of woofle dust...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 12, 2010 10:35am)
You will notice that the diameter of the inside of this ring is smaller than the outside, which means absolutely nothing.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2010 9:42pm)
I'm looking for a volunteer dressed just like me...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 12, 2010 11:00pm)
Now hold the deck in your left hand being very careful not to touch the cards.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 14, 2010 3:40pm)
Hold it up real high right down here.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 14, 2010 3:43pm)
Ok which would you rather have back, your money or your wife?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2010 9:34am)
There will be a 12 Step recovery program right after the show. You'll need it!
Message: Posted by: Wravyn (Dec 15, 2010 11:03am)
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but please don't pick your friends nose
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 15, 2010 11:36am)
I was so embarrassed by the huge sign outside announcing my show tonight...especially when they caught me putting it up.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2010 7:41pm)
Think of a number between sixty-six and seventy-five that ends in "Y".
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 15, 2010 7:59pm)
Now form a picture of the card in your mine, in your hand, in front of you, naked...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2010 8:03pm)
Sure it's a real dove. Let's hold him over your head!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 15, 2010 8:06pm)
Magicians cut up ropes to keep the audience from using it on them.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2010 9:14pm)
Let's hope that you locked your car. I have a rabbit missing.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 15, 2010 9:53pm)
Has anyone in the audience seen my cobra?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2010 10:34pm)
I'm not sure the judge has released me to perform this trick again.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 15, 2010 10:55pm)
I need a volunteer...to make my mortgage payments for the next 4 years.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2010 12:11pm)
This is my favorite wand on Wednesdays. My Sunday wand is really special.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 16, 2010 12:13pm)
What a love scene at the movie last night, but the usher made us leave.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2010 1:35pm)
Oh No! These cards are printed on the wrong sides.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 16, 2010 8:04pm)
Please stand right there on the X. You don't have any heart problems or fears of being crushed by a falling object, do you?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 17, 2010 11:09am)
That's right put your head right there in the guillotine, don't worry, I've done it hundreds of times...it has to work one day.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 17, 2010 5:55pm)
I want you to pick the first card that comes to my mind.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 17, 2010 8:10pm)
Have you ever read Websters Dictionary or are you waiting for the movie to come out?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 18, 2010 7:02am)
Who wants to be the first volunteer for my home built guillotine?...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 18, 2010 12:39pm)
And remember if anything goes wrong, I'm not liable.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2010 7:09am)
As for that dangerous glue trick..Don't worry...I'm bonded...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 19, 2010 4:41pm)
Just reach in there and if it doesn't bite pull it out.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 19, 2010 5:34pm)
Ripley's Believe It Or Not just couldn't believe this.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 19, 2010 8:12pm)
If you will just tie that rope into a knot...not like that!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 19, 2010 10:02pm)
Only use half the wand. This is not that big a trick.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 19, 2010 11:39pm)
Did you learn to tie that knot in the in the navy or when you were working on death row?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 19, 2010 11:45pm)
And if your hundred dollar bill isn't in this envelope, then you'll never see my face around this town again.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 20, 2010 8:06am)
Well, I thought it was pretty good for only $2...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 20, 2010 1:13pm)
And if this doesn't work, I'm going to go find those instructions and finally read them.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 20, 2010 1:34pm)
Now I just do coin tricks; people asked for their dollar bills back.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 20, 2010 1:52pm)
Now if we loose this key, don't worry, I can get a locksmith here in a day or two.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 20, 2010 11:07pm)
Thank you for coming up to help me. This is how we sell the same seat twice.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 21, 2010 5:59am)
(Chair Suspension)
Spectator: Will it hold me?
Magician: We'll find out.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2010 6:46am)
Have a seat on the electric chair...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 21, 2010 11:51am)
Remember, you volunteered to come up here.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2010 12:48pm)
I take it that that is your beneficiary sitting there by you.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 21, 2010 1:06pm)
You must be poopular, you bring in a different girl with you every night.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 21, 2010 7:40pm)
Miss, didn't we meet in the back seat of my Chevy?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 21, 2010 8:00pm)
I met him at the fair. I was reaching into my pocket for some money and shook hands with him.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2010 9:58pm)
Ladies and Gentlemen applause please for our tonight's volunteer. As you know each night we turn a volunteer into a rabbit...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 21, 2010 10:33pm)
Thank you for your help and please remember to pay the 50 dollar assistant fee on your way out.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2010 8:00am)
I predict no one will volunteer for the next trick...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2010 9:24am)
I know, my sisters think I'm strange too.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 22, 2010 12:28pm)
I'd like you to meet my assistant strait from a 6 month run at the County Jail...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 23, 2010 10:04am)
No sir, that is not the scar but everything around it is.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 23, 2010 1:09pm)
Believe me, this won't hurt...for too long.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 23, 2010 2:37pm)
This next trick requires you be over 21 years of age and you must sign this informed consent and release from liability form.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2010 3:26pm)
This million dollar bill is as real as my patter...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 24, 2010 11:06am)
You will note that there is nothing in my pocket, which is pretty much an everyday occurrence
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 24, 2010 1:27pm)
Good night.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 24, 2010 6:45pm)
See you again soon when it's "Time for Maigic"
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 25, 2010 10:19am)
This isn't a jumbo coin..I'm just a little guy...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 25, 2010 12:52pm)
I wish I could remember where I stole this. Was it yours?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 25, 2010 5:13pm)
Houdini, eat your heart out.
Message: Posted by: scottds80 (Dec 26, 2010 7:28am)
Don't you worry at all, this won't hurt me one bit.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 26, 2010 7:48am)
Forget this card, and remember the other 51...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 26, 2010 9:44am)
Of course, when you saw my picture on the milk carton, you never expected to see me here!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 26, 2010 7:15pm)
Now hold very, very, very still...oops you moved!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 26, 2010 10:33pm)
Here, just hold this while I light the dynamite.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 27, 2010 10:45am)
Ut oh!...Thanks folks see you next time...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 27, 2010 10:51am)
Are the flashing blue lights still outside?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 27, 2010 11:41am)
And it goes right in here like this... no like this...well maybe like that...I know it's supposed to go in here.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 27, 2010 8:42pm)
There, just like I learned in prison!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 27, 2010 8:53pm)
I learned this trick in the ancient chinese temple 300 years before I was born.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 28, 2010 12:18am)
Stand there so that if it goes wrong it will hit you hard but nobody in the audience.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 28, 2010 6:38am)
You hold the bowling balls as I produce them...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 28, 2010 11:56am)
Don't worry folks, I've practiced this trick thousands of times and in spite of that I'm feeling lucky today.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 28, 2010 1:10pm)
I'm much better then Houdini................... because ...... he's dead.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 28, 2010 2:35pm)
Yes mam! He's my parole officer.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 28, 2010 4:29pm)
There's still 52 of them here; so I haven't lost it; your card has to be in here someplace.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 28, 2010 10:48pm)
This is a "No Thinking" zone!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 29, 2010 9:30am)
Who have not eaten tomorrows lunch yet?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 29, 2010 10:19am)
This pen can do anything..including write...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 29, 2010 10:31am)
Ladies and Gentlemen and Gentlemen and Ladies.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 29, 2010 10:40am)
Just go right ahead an pick any card but don't forget that my reputation is all we have to lose.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 29, 2010 11:11am)
Are you clapping because you liked my act or because I'm done?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 29, 2010 4:12pm)
It doesn't matter what card you pick, we are going to find the one I want.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 29, 2010 5:01pm)
You can pick that one, that one or the one I'm holding.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 29, 2010 7:18pm)
And now if you will look on the bottom of your left shoe...you will find what you stepped in on the way up here.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 29, 2010 7:19pm)
I was expecting you today.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 29, 2010 8:36pm)
Thank you for volunteering, now please volunteer over your wallet.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 30, 2010 3:11am)
Magic in da house.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 30, 2010 6:36am)
I came up with this one in jail...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 30, 2010 9:33am)
Tricks are for kids.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2010 10:04am)
I would give you a free choice but then the trick fails.
Message: Posted by: liberty (Dec 30, 2010 10:08am)
Quote:

On 2010-12-30 10:04, Bob Sanders wrote:
I would give you a free choice but then the trick fails.


love this!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 30, 2010 10:17am)
Say when to stop.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 30, 2010 11:54am)
Now don't worry, I've only lost 6 people in the entire 4 months I've been doing this trick.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 30, 2010 5:21pm)
Heeeerrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeesssssssss Dynamike. :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2010 5:44pm)
If you weren't going to pick that card which one would your pick?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 30, 2010 6:40pm)
No pictures please.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 30, 2010 9:31pm)
And now the trick that put my face in post offices across the country.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 31, 2010 7:11am)
This trick always works when I hold the deck...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 31, 2010 10:29am)
Let's share, I get two, you get one.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 31, 2010 1:16pm)
And remember if you have any complaints about the show...keep them to yourself, I'm tired of hearing them.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 31, 2010 7:45pm)
If you liked the show I'm JL if not.... I'm James
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 1, 2011 12:57am)
Don't think that they have me doing this show for nothing...I have to pay them to let me do it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 1, 2011 6:34am)
I'll be back as soon as I return from Mars...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 1, 2011 10:33am)
And remember no matter what you thought of the show, I won't be here tomorrow.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 1, 2011 3:47pm)
Lets consult the magic spirits... Can you get me a drink?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 1, 2011 5:49pm)
Well, you can bet we won't be doing that one again.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 2, 2011 7:15am)
This next one is good..I've seen it before...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 2, 2011 3:56pm)
I can't believe that either!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 2, 2011 5:29pm)
Here is your last chance to catch me...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 2, 2011 5:46pm)
Is this your card?...you really need to practice this more.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 2, 2011 9:41pm)
Lights!, Camera!, Magic!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 2, 2011 10:28pm)
And let that be a lesson to you, folks, never buy a trick out of the discount bin at the magic store.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 3, 2011 10:25am)
It was a Trick Shop alright. It wasn't even there!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 3, 2011 2:08pm)
Well I know why that gave that one away as a free trick now.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 3, 2011 9:28pm)
If the rabbit jumps out, catch him.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 3, 2011 11:34pm)
My parents named me Exit so my name would be up in lights in every theater in the country.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 4, 2011 10:56am)
I would not touch that rabbit if I was you, he is not potty trained.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 4, 2011 1:52pm)
I do hope that disinfectant worked on those cards.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 4, 2011 4:45pm)
Does anyone have a $100 bill?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 4, 2011 4:51pm)
Sometimes I even manage to amaze myself.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 4, 2011 11:53pm)
Dynamo don't play that.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 5, 2011 7:45pm)
Now for what caused the Lunacy Hearing!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 6, 2011 5:50am)
Who wanna go first?.....Okay, you can go home first.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 6, 2011 11:48pm)
Next time you come back to the show, bring your parents and I'll marry them.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 7, 2011 5:48am)
I'm sorry but Dynamike could not make it back this year. He will be replaced by Dynamo.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 7, 2011 10:14am)
This next one murdered them in Detroit, that's why I'm here on the lam.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 7, 2011 10:08pm)
Are those your hands?
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 7, 2011 11:00pm)
The next effect is a bit risque. Miss are you wearing underwear?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 9, 2011 5:25am)
Now, this is the part where audiences wish they had been awake.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 9, 2011 7:38am)
They say my show is better if I perform behind the curtains...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jan 9, 2011 11:59am)
If you'd like to see some standard show lines delivered in a pretty funny manner, check out Matt Fore's "Burnt Bill to Wallet" (Terry Seabrook) about half way through one hour long Magic With A Message! #1- "MagicBob and Friends" found at www.ChristianMagician.org His lines include classics like "That's the first time that has ever happened again" and "I'm looking for some ugly skags" (while picking men of course to be volunteers) or "That is just a theatrical fire, it is not real fire, so go ahead (to the volunteer) and just stick your face right into the fire would you?" etc.. Great stuff, got a great reaction from the audience- I laugh at this routine every time I see it. Used by permission from Matt's instructional DVD on comedy magic.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 9, 2011 6:21pm)
There are good reasons why they don't license magicians!
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 10, 2011 1:08am)
Last time I performed this routine I played opposite Moses who had just changed a snake into a staff.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 10, 2011 6:16pm)
Wow! You wore that just for us?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 15, 2011 6:50am)
Think of any 3 digit number, and multiply it by 17...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 15, 2011 7:35pm)
What didn't you understand when I said DO NOT to touch my stuff!!!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 15, 2011 9:16pm)
You do know that we use animals in magic and that I was a rodeo clown, so bulls don't scare you. Right?
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 15, 2011 9:55pm)
I want you to quickly riffle through the deck and memorize any 15 consecutive cards.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 16, 2011 6:45am)
I can predict the lottery, but I'm a magician and of course don't need the money...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 16, 2011 6:51am)
It is great seeing all of you here in the theater tonight. Doing magic for the homeless on the street has not been working out well at all.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 17, 2011 10:29am)
I can actually predict yesterdays headlines...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 17, 2011 11:25am)
And if I'm still here tomorrow, you know the show was good.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 19, 2011 9:51am)
If the show goes well I'll leave my phone number.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 23, 2011 7:29am)
You tap dance when my trick fails...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 23, 2011 6:30pm)
I don't think rehearsal could help this.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 27, 2011 5:31pm)
Please don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jan 27, 2011 7:41pm)
Please drive carefully, because I'm walking.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 27, 2011 10:49pm)
Don't you wish had learned to play a piano instead?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 29, 2011 7:18am)
Why not tear the newspaper? There's nothing ever in it anyways...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 29, 2011 11:29am)
Here is the blindfold I found in your car...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 30, 2011 6:47am)
Lock me in my novelty store regulation cuffs...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 1, 2011 11:46pm)
At least my clothes are tax deductable!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 5, 2011 8:12am)
I'll have you know this tux is genuine imitation suede...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 5, 2011 5:36pm)
OK! So I tied the tie in a square knot!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 6, 2011 6:46am)
Give me one good reason I should leave...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 6, 2011 9:04am)
Fewer white coats in this audience!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 6, 2011 5:23pm)
You should have seen what happened to the last $5 bill I borrowed...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 6, 2011 5:43pm)
Notice there are armed guards at the door.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 12, 2011 2:50pm)
The bill will become like my clothes..mismade...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 14, 2011 8:05am)
Count my fingers! Don't cheat!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 17, 2011 11:12pm)
Don't worry..I'm up to 60% success rate with this finger chopper...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 18, 2011 4:26am)
If this doesn't work the insurance may cover it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 19, 2011 12:45am)
I buy these tricks from Shady Sams magic car trunk...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 19, 2011 6:13pm)
Stand here on my good side.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 26, 2011 7:59am)
Put this dollar under your pillow and make a wish...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 27, 2011 9:36pm)
And now for the part of the show where we try to rescue a human sacrifice. It's bound to work sometime.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 5, 2011 7:33am)
It's ok..These clothes are tomato-washable...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 5, 2011 11:27pm)
Which hand could you do without?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 6, 2011 7:51am)
See if the card is in your sock...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 6, 2011 7:07pm)
Pick any of them except that one.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 9, 2011 8:17pm)
I'll turn my back, but don't leave...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 10, 2011 8:32am)
Please stand here. It gives me a better looking camera angle.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 19, 2011 10:48am)
Don't waste film. You can find my picture in any post office...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 22, 2011 7:09am)
Yep! I am going to guess that one later.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 23, 2011 4:17pm)
Don't look now but your shoes are tied.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 25, 2011 8:28am)
Careful, the middles move!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 26, 2011 7:43am)
And one extra card which we'll talk about later...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 27, 2011 7:43am)
Of course, it is your choice.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 27, 2011 9:54am)
Choose one of these Jokers...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 28, 2011 10:03am)
Just hold it by the magic end.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 28, 2011 3:59pm)
Tell me what the month hand of your watch says...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 29, 2011 11:28pm)
OK, count to ten by threes.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 2, 2011 6:59am)
Just think...There's another show at 4pm...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 2, 2011 2:38pm)
Here is where we hide the secrets.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 16, 2011 7:03am)
As you can see, I keep my eggs in one bag...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 16, 2011 10:29am)
For my next trick, I need a volunteer who likes spiders.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 17, 2011 6:57am)
I need 4 volunteers, but there are only 3 of you in the audience...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 17, 2011 7:09pm)
Now for the part of the show that really is going to require magic!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 24, 2011 7:26am)
Don't worry..I've been practicing this finger chopper since this morning...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Apr 24, 2011 11:17am)
Relax, this guillotine works at least half the time.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 25, 2011 1:35pm)
I see they have cleaned the blood off it from the last show.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 14, 2011 5:59am)
My assistant will now operate the hand chopper...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 14, 2011 7:32pm)
And think, I could have been a doctor!
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (May 22, 2011 10:21am)
At least 70 % of the time the blade cooperates.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 22, 2011 9:27pm)
For the next effect, you may need the blindfold more than I do!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 4, 2011 8:01am)
Don't worry..This blade is dull...or was it that blade...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jun 4, 2011 6:56pm)
Good news, If you loose any body parts, I am authorized to provide an IOU.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 5, 2011 7:12am)
If I lose, you get this million dollar bill...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 5, 2011 8:07pm)
You hold the long end. The short end of the stick is always mine.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 22, 2011 5:44pm)
That's right ... ... you can hold on where all their other kids have their scratch marks, too.
.
.
I got this on a 5 finger discount and when we're done we'll see if you have all of yours.
.
.
.
You do have Superglue.... right?
.
.
.
Would all of you in the front row, hold out your hands? That way the person who catches the finger gets a prize!!!
.
.
.
Can you feel this? You're not supposed to!
.
.
.
Please bring me that pre-heated cup of steam.
Message: Posted by: M&M Magic (Jun 22, 2011 6:49pm)
Kids.. . . . Do not try this at home..... go to your grandparents house.
Message: Posted by: M&M Magic (Jun 23, 2011 9:21am)
*tells a joke....not a very good response* "tough crowd"

Posted: Jun 23, 2011 9:22am
"Let me do this again for all of you back in the cheap seats."
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 23, 2011 11:12am)
If you are going to hold the wand in your left hand, you'll need to turn it around to the left hand end.
Message: Posted by: M&M Magic (Jun 23, 2011 11:41am)
Hahaha nice one!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 26, 2011 1:49pm)
No, Use you magic hand.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 26, 2011 6:31pm)
If I could do real magic... why would I be here?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 26, 2011 7:29pm)
Notice that there is a fire extinguisher on stage!
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jul 1, 2011 11:32pm)
My mistake.. Its flick and swish.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 2, 2011 10:57pm)
Notice that that coin couldn't buy anything.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 5, 2011 6:16am)
I'll continue if you stop throwing eggs...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 5, 2011 1:43pm)
With all the bad lines from dime novels, think what magic books must cost!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 6, 2011 7:08am)
Blow up this #160, and I will make a balloon animal for you...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 6, 2011 2:34pm)
For my next trick,'ll put on some safety gear but you just stand over there. Be Careful!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 30, 2011 2:53pm)
Yep! It's just a standard deck of Magicians' cards.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jul 30, 2011 6:46pm)
Sorry my mentor was Inspector Clouseau not Harry Potter
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 31, 2011 6:46pm)
Sure, I could have gotten a job. But I wanted to be a magician!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 6, 2011 6:52am)
I'm advancing..I used to be a juggler...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 6, 2011 8:24pm)
Do you see any other magicians in the audience?
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Aug 7, 2011 1:54pm)
It's days like this that I wished I had studied more in school.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 16, 2011 9:57pm)
I almost got off without doing time with this effect.
Message: Posted by: DavidG (Aug 29, 2011 3:51pm)
THEY say that when I grow older, I'll hopefully become a better magician.
(THEY means my grandchildren...)
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 30, 2011 9:07pm)
Did anyone in this audience lose his keys to a Rolls Royce?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 16, 2011 9:50am)
And how many here tonight are on work release?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 29, 2011 5:19pm)
Thank you for the applause! We will be here until closing time tonight.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 5, 2011 10:19am)
Now you know why we don't allow shooting video during this show!
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 12, 2011 2:26pm)
Yes .. you madame in the third row. Maybe I should not speculate about your profession.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 13, 2011 4:26pm)
See, I don't like a thing like my pictures on the "Wanted Posters"!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2011 8:09pm)
I need a volunteer who is not carrying a badge.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Nov 22, 2011 5:25pm)
(When looking for an audience volunteer): "I'm looking for some scags. Some real ugly scags. What about you sir?" -Matt Fore
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Nov 22, 2011 5:27pm)
After applause: "Thank you very much and we hope we passed the audition" (The Beatles- in both the "Let It Be" movie and album)
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Nov 22, 2011 5:30pm)
"Tank you, Tank you very much" (spoken very quickly- from the Taxi tv series). Or, "Welcome to my nightmare" (when a volunteer comes on stage)- Alice Cooper
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Nov 22, 2011 5:35pm)
To volunteer: "Would you like to do a trick for us?" "You would?" (then stand back). "Okay, go ahead then, we'll watch." Or, when showing off a piece of the performer's clothing "I purchased this at J C Pen-naye (french pronounciation)". Or pronounce the fruit "Bah-Naaaan-Nah" (if using a banana for a trick). These are all standard show lines that are hackneyed, unoriginal, and not very funny... so I use them all of course.
Message: Posted by: dkarahan (Nov 22, 2011 8:28pm)
Pick a card, now show it to the camera please
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 22, 2011 9:32pm)
Have you ever picked anything except cards?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 27, 2011 6:04pm)
And for those who have seen my show before, thanks for laughing again.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 5, 2011 11:20am)
There you go. It's gone wrong for the first time again.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 27, 2011 10:16am)
Oh! just pick any number like the one on your numbered Swiss bank account.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 5, 2012 1:38pm)
No Sir! I'm no longer on work release.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 14, 2012 7:41am)
I learned to pick locks when I was on the chain gang...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 14, 2012 2:40pm)
I hope my next effect is as surprising to you as it is to me, if it works.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 21, 2012 7:02am)
Your card is in my wallet, which I left at home...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 21, 2012 2:57pm)
I see your husband has fallen asleep , I hope he is not a light sleeper.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 22, 2012 7:15am)
I dropped the coin in order to load the elephant...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 23, 2012 3:17pm)
So.... Do you think I got here two hours ago and lugged all this stuff up 42 steps, for my health?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 25, 2012 8:33pm)
You know that magicians don't have any money to carry?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 28, 2012 8:57pm)
I know you don't really care but please applaud anyway, I'm sending this tape to my mother.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 29, 2012 9:53pm)
Who knows? Maybe in this show the tiger will stay in his cage.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 4, 2012 9:11pm)
Yep! These cards have had years of training. I just got them back from magic school.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 12, 2012 7:03am)
These jumbo cards were regular size til I dropped them
in the bathtub...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 12, 2012 1:27pm)
Folks, notice that he defaced US currency by writing his initials on it.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 23, 2012 8:21am)
Just think how wild that would have been, if it had worked!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 28, 2012 7:33pm)
This time I promise I won't hurt you...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 29, 2012 9:38pm)
I should have studied for the TB test.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 7, 2012 8:30pm)
Do you want to wear the blindfold or should I?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 10, 2012 6:56am)
Hold my hand because I'm scared to lift this cup...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 10, 2012 7:41am)
Is the the only hundred dollar bill you have with you?
Message: Posted by: Jim Sparx (Mar 17, 2012 5:35pm)
Finger, wrist, head chopper:
"I bought this at the flea market. I think I know how it works."
Pull out a set of papers from pocket: "The instructions are in Chinese. I've been following the pictures. Hope it works this time."
"Are you left or right handed? Then we'll use the opposite so if it doesn't work you won't miss it."
Have a basket under the hole with a finger, hand or head in it (rubber), look offstage: "I told you to clean this out."
End

Go into audience and pick a male sitting next to a good looking female. Take him to the stage leave him there and go back and sit in his chair. Introduce yourself etc...

With a female volunteer: "Your not one of my ex-wives are you?"
No
"Would you like to be?"
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 17, 2012 11:00pm)
Yep! That is the attack dove.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 18, 2012 9:01am)
A dove?? The guy told me it was a cockatiel..
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 18, 2012 10:30pm)
Doctor, this is a case of dove flew.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 24, 2012 12:05pm)
Sure, I meant to drop that, again!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 8, 2012 9:08pm)
OOPS! But It may still work!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 19, 2012 8:06am)
Great you found that card! It has been missing for weeks.
Message: Posted by: Dai Hard (Apr 23, 2012 4:26pm)
- Stand right here, I don't bite. Not hard, anyway.....

- That's as fair as I can get. Well, ok, it's as fair as I'm GOING to get.

- Pay no attention to that sponge ball on the floor.

- Let's just add this to the list of "Stuff I Can't Do."

- This'll knock your socks off. Are you wearing socks? Pantyhose? I love a challenge.....

- Go ahead, check my pocket. Take your time, it's my birthday.

- After seeing this next trick many people have been heard to exclaim - "So what?"

- Just say "stop" as I riffle the cards. Remember when you used to say "stop?" It'll come back to you.

- And then an amazing thing happens - your clothes become transparent!

- Calm down, sir, I'm married.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 23, 2012 6:51pm)
I have to do this to have bail money.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 4, 2012 5:13pm)
Just one more trick that nearly worked!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 12, 2012 9:03pm)
Look! Invisible smoke and mirors!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 19, 2012 8:39am)
That was not the card I had in mind!
Message: Posted by: Jon Blakeney (May 31, 2012 8:49pm)
Not once did the fingers leave the wrist.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 1, 2012 1:19pm)
Use your most magical hand.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 15, 2012 7:19am)
I'll have to work fast, the rent is due.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 21, 2012 7:29am)
I see you brought a good looker with you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 27, 2012 3:11pm)
Here, hold my wallet and feel free to put money in it.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 7, 2012 9:09pm)
Yes sir! That was my picture you saw in the Post Office.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 8, 2012 9:17pm)
Yes Sir! My rabbit taught me this trick.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 16, 2012 11:18pm)
Cut it right in the middle somewhere near the center.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 8, 2012 7:03pm)
Step a little closer to the trap door.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 12, 2012 7:06am)
Oops! Do you have your insurance card with you?
Message: Posted by: bowers (Aug 12, 2012 10:53am)
That is your daughter right.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 13, 2012 11:31am)
Wow! That end of the wand is hot!
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 13, 2012 7:06pm)
"Step into my office." (This is where I sit around all day doing nothing, drink coffee, and post on The Magic Café".)
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 25, 2012 9:53pm)
Please tell the audience how long we have never known each other.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 20, 2012 7:44am)
Hold this in your other left hand.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2012 5:56pm)
Sir, would you please go through the weapon detector before coming up on stage?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 5, 2012 7:29pm)
This deck of cards is nearly normal.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 26, 2012 9:11am)
If your keys can't be returned, do you still have a ride home?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 30, 2013 9:04pm)
You should have said so before you spoke!
Message: Posted by: ahattrick (Feb 20, 2013 11:29am)
Pick a card any card...except that one!
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Feb 21, 2013 12:29pm)
Who do you think I am, Burt Wonderstone?