Any patter ideas for Bamboo chest and glass?

Here I have this Bamboo Chest that looks nothing like a chest made of bamboo, and a plastic glass, if there is any such thing. I place the plastic glass into the chest, LIKE SO. (Notice the use of the words "Like So" which every magician in America has adopted from Mark Wilson's constant use of them on his TV shows. It now seems to be mandatory to include those words multiple times in every effect.)

Actually, I'd be more impressed if you placed a real glass glass of water in a small paper bag, squeeze the air out of the bag to show the outline of the glass, and procede to stick ordinary Dollar Strore steak knives through the glass. At one point, pull out a knife, which releases a stream of water from the glass until you reinsert the knife. For the finale, remove the knives while "healing" the glass at the same time so no more water leaks out. Tear away the bag and show the glass to be just as it was, minus some of the water that was leaked out during the effect.

I think I was having a curmudgeon day yesterday when I posted that. I apologize for not having patter for the effect, but the paper bag version actually is much more deceptive. As punishment for being an incorrigible curmudgeon, I will write it up someday for The Wizards' Journal.

Actually I was thinking more on the line of a story or "What is this thing?". I have used it as an example of a poor mans illusion because my wife will not let me put blades and rods thru her body in a box. It shows that magicians create the illusion of doing the impossible. Any other ideas?

In that case, you might consider "The Spiked Queen" by Magicbob, done with jumbo cards.
http://www.magicnook.com/magicbob/IHCT/IHCT04.htm

I am going to torture a glass of cool aid. Why? Because that's all that will fit into the chest. I like my cool aid in slices.

And now the worst thing of all: I'm going to make it dizzy. Maybe it doesn't complain because it isn't in there any more. I better stop before I get dizzy.

I learned this years ago when I was playing with my cool aid and my mother told me to cut it out.