When you are "spray painting" cards on your floor.

When you think U.F. Grant was a Civil War general.

When the gear stick of your car always has rubber bands around it and you're always discovering 3" lengths of rope or knots in your suit pockets.

You know you are a bizarre magician when you see a hemorrhoid outbreak as a chance to use real blood in your performance.

When you go on a date, and getting lucky means that she picked the force card.

When you can spell magician!

That's Grate.

Mrs. Rook calls out "Honey, there's a disembodied thumb in the dryer again!"

At a deceased estate auction of a magician a while back I bought a large box of T.T.s. I didn’t need the box so it ended downstairs in the recycling at our apartment building. A large polystyrene box labelled “thumb tips” in large letters where everyone could see it.