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hocopoco
New user
76 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 9:21pm
People ask me this question (or variations thereof) all the time during walkaround and restaurant work. I have a couple of good/useable retorts, but.....
What is your best...funniest....response?
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Craig Kyle
Regular user
196 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 9:32pm
I could tell you but I'd have to kill you.
Zak the hat
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Nightmare Weaver
New user
The Shadows
62 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 9:34pm
"Unfortunately sir magic does have weight limits."
"Why yes I can! Here's my room key sweetheart. I'll show you some real magic when I end my shift here."
In the shadows, just on the edge of your nightmares. That's where you'll find me.
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Larry Barnowsky
Inner circle
Cooperstown, NY where bats are made from
3906 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 9:35pm
Sorry I can't, your wife already asked me if I could make you disappear.
NOW SHIPPING The Book of Destiny +DVD http://www.barnowskymagic.com/bookofdestiny.html
Kingdom of the Red Book and DVD http://www.barnowskymagic.com/kotr1.html
21ST CENTURY COIN MECHANICS Book + Video CD www.barnowskymagic.com almost Out of Print
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SanCho14jfm
Loyal user
New Jersey
241 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 9:37pm
Love the roomkey line! The question is, have you ever used that? Ha
SanCho
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Nightmare Weaver
New user
The Shadows
62 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 9:45pm
Yes I have, but you've gotta play it just right. It can get out of hand. Had that happen too.
In the shadows, just on the edge of your nightmares. That's where you'll find me.
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Lee Darrow
V.I.P.
Chicago, IL USA
3594 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 10:08pm
"Hey! This is Chicago - ANYBODY can disappear for only $50! Of course, in MY neighborhood, it's down to $19.95 - and we'll throw in a set of Ginsu Knives!"
I always loved that response - no one gets honked off, everyone laughs and I move on to the next routine.
Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
"Because NICE Matters!"
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Rik Taylor
New user
Delaware
58 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 10:32pm
Good one Lee. very original.
...less is not more, less is less you have to carry, more or less...
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The Mighty Fool
Inner circle
I feel like a big-top tent having
1792 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 11:33pm
"Ah, I don't know about your wife, but I'd be happy to make your DAUGHTER here (indicating wife) dissapear."
Everybody wants to beleive.....we just help them along.
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S2000magician
Inner circle
Yorba Linda, CA
3606 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 1:44am
Jeff McBride:
"Yes I can . . . I charge by the pound."
BCIII
The Polite Side of Magic
Risk Mitigation Associates
Bottom Line Gurus
I took the Pledge
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Whit Haydn
V.I.P.
5443 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 3:06am
"For the right price, it can be arranged..."
--Pop Haydn
Pop Haydn's 21at Century Website
Pop's Soapbox
Pop's YouTube Channel
Sphere of Destiny
Pop Haydn Photo Essay
Los Angeles magician
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Dave V
Inner circle
Las Vegas, NV
4710 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 3:40am
In Lance Burton's show, he has a "heckler" say this line every night. Lance replies "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." In this case, he let's the heckler deliver the punch line "Okay, tell my wife!"
No trees were killed in the making of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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Scott F. Guinn
Inner circle
FINALLY A DADDY!
6480 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 3:52am
"Frankly, with that attitude, I'm surprised she hasn't already done so of her own accord!"
"Love God, laugh more, spend more time with the ones you love, play with children, do good to those in need, and eat more ice cream. There is more to life than magic tricks." - Scott F. Guinn (Finally a daddy!) @ScottFGuinn
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Open Traveller
Inner circle
1087 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 4:37am
"I'm sorry, sir...she got to me first!"
"No, but I can take her off your hands for a while..."
"Boy, you take this magic stuff reeeeeeeeal serious, don't you?"
"Take another sip of your drink, sir...you'll feel better."
"I assure you by the time we're through tonight I'll also have your watch, your car and your house keys!"
"Sure...uh...what's your credit limit like?"
[point to your wedding ring] "Hey, I've got stories, too. We'll get together later and compare notes."
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Review King
Eternal Order
14448 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 8:08am
I heard Daryl had the best line for this, but I can't find the quote anywhere. Anyone know it?
"Of all words of tongue and pen,
the saddest are, "It might have been"
..........John Greenleaf Whittier
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pikacrd
Veteran user
Florida
387 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 8:33am
Sure but it costs extra
“Indubitably, Magic is one of the subtlest and most difficult of the sciences and arts. There is more opportunity for errors of comprehension, judgment and practice than in any other branch of physics”. William S. Burroughs 1914-1997 American Writer
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Jonathan Rice
Loyal user
Maryland
223 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 8:34am
I get this alot..SO my line...Yes..If you give me $5000..
Jonathan Rice
www.myspace.com/magicofJFR
http://jriceblogs.wordpress.com
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Steve Dela
Special user
U.K. London
964 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 9:47am
" of course I can... if I just click my fingers (click fingers)...oh look at that it didn't work..."
Steve Dela
http://stevedela.com
Associate Member of the Inner Magic Circle
FFFF
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Scott Wells
Magic Café Columnist & I.B.M. forum Staff
Houston, TX
514 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 1:56pm
I look at the wife, extend my arm and say, "would you like to come with me and we'll blow this Popsicle joint?"
I've never had any takers but I'm still young.
"A magician who isn't working is only fooling himself." - Scott Wells, A.I.M.C. with Silver Star
The Magic Word podcast: http://themagicwordpodcast.com Listen to convention coverage, interviews with magicians, pictures, videos and more.
Magic Inspirations website for all things Banachek: www.magicinspirations.net
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Kaliix
Special user
Connecticut
634 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 2:49pm
My standard response to the question, "Can you make (insert any person here) disappear?"
"No, I'm sorry. If I could make people disappear, my ex-wife would have been gone a long time ago."
If they then go, "Ooooooohh", I usually say, "Yeah, but you didn't have to live with her!"
To succeed, you must have tremendous perseverance, tremendous will. “I will drink the ocean”, says the persevering soul; “at my will mountains will crumble up”. Have that sort of energy, that sort of will; work hard, and you will reach the goal. ~ Swami Vivekananda
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Eric Leclerc
Inner circle
Ottawa Ontario
1182 Posts
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Posted: Mar 16, 2005 3:38pm
Ok, since I saw this thread, I'd like to share something with all of you in here that I have used for the last year or so and is really cool.. I turn the typical questions into a trick!!
I have an index in my coat pocket with 16 things people say all the time.. like..
"the gentleman in front of me will ask me if I can make his wife disseapear"
"the lady in front of me will ask me to make her husband disseapear"
"the gentleman in front of me will say "hey look its david blaine"
"the gentleman in front of me will ask me if I can float in the air"
etc.. I have one for males and one for females.. I have been writting down the questions that pop up frequently and have been creating a perfect list. The look on their faces is awesome!!
My friend Frank the Tank suggested another view on it and to write "congratulations!!! you are the 12th person to ask me to make their wife disseapear tonight!!"
hahaha I love it.. what do you think?
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Father Photius
Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
15707 Posts
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Posted: Mar 17, 2005 12:04am
I use an old groucho line modified. I say, "well, I suppose I could go home with her, but then, outside of the improvement, she'd probably never notice the difference.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Scott Wells
Magic Café Columnist & I.B.M. forum Staff
Houston, TX
514 Posts
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Posted: Mar 17, 2005 2:27pm
Since I usually perform after the meal, I often hear, "can you make my check disappear?"
I reply, "no, but I can make it double!"
That usually shuts them up.
yours,
Scott
"A magician who isn't working is only fooling himself." - Scott Wells, A.I.M.C. with Silver Star
The Magic Word podcast: http://themagicwordpodcast.com Listen to convention coverage, interviews with magicians, pictures, videos and more.
Magic Inspirations website for all things Banachek: www.magicinspirations.net
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S2000magician
Inner circle
Yorba Linda, CA
3606 Posts
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Posted: Mar 17, 2005 2:38pm
Quote:
| On 2005-03-17 14:27, Scott Wells wrote:
Since I usually perform after the meal, I often hear, "can you make my check disappear?"
I reply, "no, but I can make it double!" |
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I, on the other hand (there's always another hand) tell them that, "Yes, I can. My fee is the amount of the check, plus 50 per cent."
(What? They think I work for free?)
BCIII
The Polite Side of Magic
Risk Mitigation Associates
Bottom Line Gurus
I took the Pledge
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Scott Wells
Magic Café Columnist & I.B.M. forum Staff
Houston, TX
514 Posts
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Posted: Mar 17, 2005 4:01pm
Oooooooh, I like that. What a subtle way to let them know that you accept tips.
"A magician who isn't working is only fooling himself." - Scott Wells, A.I.M.C. with Silver Star
The Magic Word podcast: http://themagicwordpodcast.com Listen to convention coverage, interviews with magicians, pictures, videos and more.
Magic Inspirations website for all things Banachek: www.magicinspirations.net
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afknight
Elite user
489 Posts
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Posted: Mar 17, 2005 6:55pm
You should know that there's a cute packet trick on Mark Leveridge's website that's named "Can you Make my wife disappear?" it's the perfect effect to perform when asked that question.
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Bobcape
Elite user
Rapid City, SD
470 Posts
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Posted: Mar 17, 2005 11:02pm
When asked the "Can you make my wife disappear?" question, I try to get on the wife's side. Here's a couple of mine.
"Yea, but you'd run out of clean underwear in a week!"
or,
"Be careful, she may decide to stay disappeared!"
or for an overweight guy,
"I could, but who would hand you the remote?"
Bob
Be Amazed! + Enjoy The Magic!
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ed rhodes
Inner circle
Rhode Island
2323 Posts
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Posted: Mar 18, 2005 6:02am
I always liked;
"What do you have in mind that's better than that?" (Gesturing at wife.)
"He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." - Rafael Sabatini, Scaramouche
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EvanSparts
Veteran user
Michigan
333 Posts
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Posted: Mar 18, 2005 1:47pm
Quote:
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On 2005-03-16 15:38, Eric Leclerc wrote:
Ok, since I saw this thread, I'd like to share something with all of you in here that I have used for the last year or so and is really cool.. I turn the typical questions into a trick!!
I have an index in my coat pocket with 16 things people say all the time.. like..
"the gentleman in front of me will ask me if I can make his wife disseapear"
"the lady in front of me will ask me to make her husband disseapear"
"the gentleman in front of me will say "hey look its david blaine"
"the gentleman in front of me will ask me if I can float in the air"
etc.. I have one for males and one for females.. I have been writting down the questions that pop up frequently and have been creating a perfect list. The look on their faces is awesome!!
My friend Frank the Tank suggested another view on it and to write "congratulations!!! you are the 12th person to ask me to make their wife disseapear tonight!!"
hahaha I love it.. what do you think?
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Eric what an excellent idea. The best part about this is you are not insulting them, like saying there is a weight limit. What a god awful thing to say to the spectators. I hate magicians that use those insulting lines. I wish they would disappear. No wonder people heckle us, when there are so many *** magicians out there that do this crap. Its magicans like that that bring a bad image to magic and then the good ones have to deal with the fall out that these idiots leave.
Nice way to turn the situation into a magical experince and not a cheap witty line. keep up the good work.
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swatchel-omi
Regular user
116 Posts
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Posted: Mar 18, 2005 2:39pm
"Yeah, I can, but there a big line in front of you. If you like, I can add you to the waiting list."
Joe
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