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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
The poetry form called haiku,
Is one that I really quite laiku. One has to contrive A neat five-seven-five. Now write one, or get on your baiku. An empty top hat. Magician reaches inside. Behold the rabbit. When Santa Claus came down the chimney,
TH
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Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
When Santa Claus came down the chimney,
He became an unpleasant nominee for removing a poker (misplaced by some joker) from a most unmentionable cavity [haiku version:] Stiff walking Santa Top surgeon reaches inside. How did that get there? If the thought of that seems too unpleasant
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
If the thought of that seems unpleasant,
Consider my last Christmas present: They opened me up And out came a pup, A ringtailed lemur, and a pheasant. So now we're up to page seven
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
So now we're up to page seven
We might even get to eleven Though some are not bad The rest are quite sad And the bulk of them smell to high heaven The geek show on tour countrywide
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
The geek show on tour countrywide,
(Star guest for this year, Jeff McBride), Sees a bunch of retards, With their Bicycle cards. Shall we go? It's not hard to decide. Face to face with a large grizzly bear,
TH
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
Face to face with a large grizzly bear,
It gave me a hell of a scare. I'm not a brave guy - Little wonder that I No longer have clean underwear. (I'm so hooked, I'm even finishing my own limericks). One day we'll live on the moon,
TH
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
One day we'll live on the moon,
I expect it will be fairly soon. We'll set up our base And then drift through deep space Like an oversized hot-air balloon. (Damn). I am finding it tough to admit,
TH
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Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
I am finding it tough to admit,
That these limericks are damm hard to quit I'd wait for my friends so the fun never ends but seems like I keep being "it". I sipped on a large margarita
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
I sipped on a large margarita,
While reading the Bhagavad Gita. I sat - my legs crossed - On a carpet that cost More than two hundred bucks per square meter. My favourite fruit is the pear,
TH
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Tone Elite user 423 Posts |
My favourite fruit is the pear,
Nothing else can ever compare! When I suck out the juice I can finally let loose As I sit on my couch in the bare. My girlfriend once lived in Tacoma, |
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
My girlfriend once lived in Tacoma,
Shacked up with a fat guy called Homer, Her nickname for him, Was "Featherweight Jim", Which, of course, was a howling misnomer. On the back of my car there's a sign,
TH
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
On the back of my car there's a sign,
Promoting my home-made red wine. I was driving last night, When appeared a blue light. "Hello offisher, I veel jusht fine". Anagrams are such great fun,
TH
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
Anagrams are such great fun
Moving letters around one by one In the contest in March Shifting letters had charm, Best in prayer: presbyterian, won Oh my is that a dagger I see?
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
Oh my, is that a dagger I see?
Thought the vagrant, in need of a pee. He loosened his zip, And then with a firm grip, Left his mark on the bark of the tree. I've been listening to "Songs From A Room",
TH
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
I've been listening to "songs from a room",
And wallowing in a big tub of gloom, It's not just Macbeth, That's obsessed by death: cos none beats Cohen for doom. Blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blah, |
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Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
Blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blah,
Said Macbeth as he saw the daggah, "You can see a big knife?", Translated his wife, And in reply he just went: "yah". An ejector seat has been installed,
TH
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smithpaul60 Veteran user South Carolina 301 Posts |
An ejector seat has been installed,
that now has been quickly recalled, "Come get it replaced, or become human waste," said the ad which had been quickly scrawled. I am doomed to remember a boy... |
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stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
I am doomed to remember a boy
Who claimed an ingenious ploy He said went he sat On a dignified rat The parliament clamored with joy Seventeen bicycles tainted... |
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Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
Seventeen bicycles tainted...
With taggers' designs all spray painted On top of their seats And where they put their feets; When the owners saw them they all fainted So you don't like the way my hair's parted
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
"So you don't like the way my hair's parted?"
"You misheard, what I said was 'departed', When we met, up top, You had quite a mop And know you have quite sparce head." Three monkeys were riding a tractor, |
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