I considered a life on the stage
Not easy for someone my age
But I just got hired
For someone retired
Come see me, the geek in a cage.

The climate of Killamanjaro

The climate of Kilimanjaro
Is too frosty to practice a faro.
When heavy snow falls
Try cupping your balls
In the manner of Michael Ammar - Oh!


When attempting to learn Day for Date

Great one, Michael!

Oh, I agree. Michael just nailed one so well that we've got to pause and congratulate.

And "congratulate" rhymes with "date". Which means something.

When attempting to learn Day for Date,
It's important to get your facts straight
So I've sent out a tweet
The Magic Club meets
March 7th, 3008

It's been raining insanely for days

It's been raining insanely for days
And the prospect of more just dismays.
So I'm down in the cellar
Viewing old Penn and Teller -
Even that can't dispatch my malaise.


Oh I love the street magic of Blaine

Oh I love the street magic of Blaine
When it's cancelled by virtue of rain.
His tricks are so bad.
I'd be awfully glad
If he never appeared again.

As I launched myself over the side

Oh I love the street magic of Blaine,
Especially "signed card through pane".
His card tricks - they thrill!
What charisma and skill!
So much better than Harry Lorayne.

As I launched myself over the side

Now you've done it, Steve! Harry will be here in a moment to rebut- wonder if he will use a limerick?

As I launched myself over the side
I ripped off a good bit of hide,
I got up all muddy,
And substantially bloody,
Metamorphosis should seldom be tried!

Flash paper can give pause for thought

Flash paper can give pause for thought:
NEVER use it in place of the sort
Purchased for the bathroom.
One false move and KA-BOOM!!!
Good advice if you're ever caught short.

She was born to perform on the stage

She was born to perform on the stage
And when Bess attained legal age
She decided to marry
A magician named Harry
And together they toured with a cage.


Magicians when planning their pensions

Magicians, when planning their pensions,
Face serious financial tensions.
Its difficult to save
When you're paid like a slave.
Thank goodness for credit extensions.

She was only a magician's assistant

She was only a magician's assistant,
But she proved herself very persistant
In her idea that SHE
Wave the wand so that HE
Would appear to become non-existent.

I always eat crackers for lunch

I always eat crackers for lunch,
And occasionally pickles do munch,
Till I got some so sour,
I look permanently dour,
And my back has developed a hunch.

When an ace fell out of my sleeve,

When an ace fell out of my sleeve,
They accused me of wanting to thieve.
"It's only the fashion!"
I cried with great passion
"I'm honest, you gotta believe!"



While watching the Wizard of Oz

While watching the Wizard of Oz,
all of us dropped our jaws.
Tinman got spoiled
with plenty of oil
so stiffer than ever, he was.

(Pardon the spoiled/oil cheat. It sounds good enough when spoken.)

A false count with only four cards

A false count with only four cards,
Is a favourite of pasteboard diehards.
It's a cunning display,
But it looks, I must say,
Quite un-natural in many regards.

As he spread his hands wide for applause

As he spread his hands wide for applause,
His nails suddenly turned into claws,
This turn of events,
Made little sense,
Though it certainly gave him great paws!

The bottle got stuck in his sleeve,

The bottle got stuck in his sleeve,
Along with a rabbit named Steve
But our eyes opened wide
At the cobra inside,
He said that's just my pet Peeve.




Suppose you were able to fly,

Suppose you were able to fly,
And decided to take to the sky,
If you did this great deed,
Smoking serious weed,
You could say you were flying sky high!

There once was a magical duck,