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gsidhe
Inner circle
Michigan
1721 Posts
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Posted: Dec 31, 2008 2:32pm
As many of you know, I am part of a duo act with Sylver Fyre. We have both have had performance related stalker issues in the past. For the most part (Thanks to a religious adherence to our stage names) these have gone away, at least in person.
However, we (Specifically she) still get a lot of dreadfully strange creepy internet stalker types.
We posted a video of my glasswalking routine where she steps on my head in a pile of broken glass... The foot fetishists came out of the woodwork with inappropriate comments. We post a video of her new barefoot martini glass fire dancing routine...
More foot fetishists. These guys are fairly harmless even if a bit disconcerting.
But it gets worse... When we were preparing for our 2007 WEAR escapes, there were promotional shots of Sylver bound at the wrists and hanging upside down from aerial silks held between her ankles. Almost immediately after the photos were posted I got an e-mail from a fellow calling himself Deep6.
"We are very interested in the performances of Sylver Fyre. Will DVD's be available of her escape performance? I know a lot of people who would be interested." That was it. Pretty harmless, right? He had a website in his signature. I went to check it out. Porn. Not normal porn either. Not even fetish bondage porn. Porn of women in life threatening situations. Women drowning in quicksand while men watched, escapes gone wrong, women being mauled by animals, trapped in garbage compactors, electrocuted...Seriously sick stuff. These folks get off on beautiful women getting killed in a non sexual fashion.
They adore female escape artists but for all of the wrong reasons. They want to see them fail in the worst possible way. They had even taken our promo pic and put it up as their entry screen to the site. I threatened legal action and it was removed, but the fact that they had it up was very very disturbing.
My question for the folks in this section of the forum-
Does this happen to you? What sort of wierdos and pervs have you encountered? Were any of them threatening or ominous in any way? What do you do to deal with them?
I am not overprotective, she can definitely handle herself, but these things can be a bit overwhelming. Knowing that there is a group out there that wants to see one of us hurt or dead for their amusement can be extremely disconcerting, especially just before a performance.
Any thoughts or shared experiences would be welcomed.
Thanks,
Gwyd
www.knottybitssideshow.com
www.kbsideshow.com
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SillverFoxx
Loyal user
A Foxx in Her Soxx has...
224 Posts
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Posted: Dec 31, 2008 3:22pm
You're definitely NOT being over protective!
Reading this gave me the chills. I think she's lucky that she performs with you; say what you will about women being strong and doing anything a man can do... pound for pound we really can't physically match a guy. Especially one that has something this sick on his mind.
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JRob
Veteran user
Central South Carolina
391 Posts
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Posted: Dec 31, 2008 8:12pm
I have never understood snuff fetishes. This is certainly one that authorities should be made aware of if for no other reason that her safety as well as your own (not likely they would stop at anything if they were really intent on doing anything.)
That is, however, opinion as I really have no experiences that even come close to what you have described.
"Jim Roberts, AKA: Professor Jay Rob "
The Professor's Facebook Page
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Margarette
Special user
Memphis area
956 Posts
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Posted: Dec 31, 2008 11:15pm
After my first article was published in a local newspaper, I got some calls from "alternative" lifestyle people. I actually had a very interesting conversation with a man who loved to cross-dress. I've gotten inquiries from people asking me if I'm "dom" or a "sub".
That Deep6 person contacted me, and after ignoring the e-mails (because I didn't like the tone) I got left alone.
I haven't ever felt threatened by anyone, but I have had my share of weirdos. I think the most hilarious one was when I was doing a nightclub show on Halloween. Since I was performing, I was handing out cards. When I got home, there was a message on my answering maching..."Uh...hello...um...I have your card, but have no idea where I got it from. If you'd like to call me back, I'd love to buy you a drink sometime!" What made it so funny was that the guy was still drunk when he called. I never returned the call, and he never called back.
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
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Dayle
Regular user
Canada
146 Posts
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Posted: Jan 2, 2009 12:11pm
I have been contacted a number of times by people with alternative tastes and have never been comfortable with any of it. I've never understood the fetish aspect of this line of work.
We do not perform magic and escapes for any of those fetish reasons and can't understand the allure of it.
Through this field I have heard a number of things that have made my blood run cold. In my case, I am very lucky that my partner, Richard, is 6'3" and 225lbs.
Gwyd, thank you for sharing your experience. It is nice to know we are not the only ones dealing with the side effects of this business.
Cheers
Dayle
World's Most Accomplished Female Escape Artist
http://www.sherryandkrallmagic.com
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Ms. Morgan
Veteran user
The Garden State
394 Posts
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Posted: Jan 3, 2009 12:15am
Deep6 rates high on the creep meter...stay away from this one. His emails start out normal then the questions get odd.
Speaking of odd...Few years back John and I had a break of a couple of days in a long run of shows. While we were gone our dressing room was broken into. As I said it was a long run so we had sort of made ourselves at home. The dressing room had cameras, a laptop, a tv, you name it.......
all they took was my underwear.
The world is a strange place.
Ms.M
World Magic Award's "Escape Artist of the Year"
www.EscapeChick.com
www.illusionbiz.com
www.WackyDracky.com
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montymagi
Special user
Slidell La
753 Posts
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Posted: Jan 3, 2009 3:38pm
On gig evenings and weekends I am a magician, but during the day I am a federal investigator for NASA hence my user name. I tell you guys this so you will take what I am going to say serious. If you look at the basic S & M crowd think of what drives them. Domination or being dominated. Taken to its most extream conclusion you have a master and a slave. This is not a big deal since both parties have agreed on there rolls. Now if you take Deep6 and his crowd it may look the same on the surface but it is very different. They are driven by intimidation and control. Take that fantasy to its extream conclusion and what is the ultimate control? I don't want to frighten you guys but the big three driving factors for serial killers are intimidation, domination and control. Ms. M be very careful in your case. Stealing underwear may not seem like much but if there is an escalation of behavior, say he was a peeping tom first then broke in for the panties, this is a big red flag. This person is pushing the edge of his fantasy. If anyone of you ever need help or advice PLEASE p.m. me. Big or small. I don't want this to be a huge long post, but keep these things in mind.
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gsidhe
Inner circle
Michigan
1721 Posts
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Posted: Jan 5, 2009 8:36am
Well put Spacecop.
The normal Dom/sub type fetishists aren't all that scary. Wierd at times, bot not particularly scary. Back in my sordid past I used to work fetish clubs and they were a decent demographic. Surprisingly respectful and most of the times rather formal in their interactions.
The foot fetish folks- again, wierd, a bit more desperate about their particular quirks but not about involuntary control, more of a worshipful stance.
You nailed it with the Deep6 type.
That is what makes it more frightning.
Involuntary taking of control by force.
For those who have been contacted by Deep- I do monitor his site to see what is going on. I will watch for any of you to show up on his pages and will let you know accordingly.
And to those who have responded already- Thank you...I don't feel quite so alone about the whole thing.
It means a lot.
Gwyd
www.knottybitssideshow.com
www.kbsideshow.com
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EsnRedshirt
Special user
Newark, CA
902 Posts
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Posted: Jan 6, 2009 2:21pm
There's a sort of "internet rule" out there that you can find anything on the internet. And the corillary to that rule: if it exists, someone's put up a porn site devoted to it. Most are strange or disturbing or disgusting, but harmless. Sad to say, though, people like Deep6 are probably more common than we realize.
There are a few basic internet safety measures everyone should take. While it's necessary to make professional info available to get bookings, keep your personal info separate and private. Don't ever post your home address publicly; if you don't have a business address, get a P.O. Box. Research the source before you respond to any unsolicited emails.
As for pictures, it should be noted that sites like Photobucket aren't especially secure. It's not too difficult for a stranger with a bit of knowledge to browse around your albums, so only post pictures you wouldn't mind the whole world seeing.
-Erik
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.
* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt.
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ElectricBlue
New user
90 Posts
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Posted: Jan 6, 2009 5:11pm
*Shudder* Those experiences mentioned before sound absolutely horrid.
I just wanted to mention that it also might not have any thing to do with doing escapes specifically. I 'm part of a little sideshow where I do a hula hoop act and some other sideshow acts, I also perform my straight hoop act at a lot of festivals and events and I have also come across some similar behavior no where near as intense as the stuff you all mention but still a large amount of creepy behaviour.
So I will add one tip that may or may not be relevant: If you are performing at a festival try your hardest to keep your camp site indistinct and try not to let people work out where you are camping. There is nothing worse then being bothered by some drunken idiot at 3 in the morning when you have shows the next day and you don't want to lead any undesirables to your door.
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Nosher
Loyal user
261 Posts
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Posted: Jan 8, 2009 9:59am
There are strange creatures lurking everywhere, you don't need handcuffs, ropes or restraints to attract them.
A friend of mine does parlour magic for private parties (imagine Girl Hollingworth). For reasons of fashion her eyeglasses are thick and black, like Clark Kent's.
After one event she got a lot of emails from a guy who had, it became clear, a 'girls with glasses' fetish. Even the nerds aren't safe...
Escapemaster-in-chief from all sorts of houdingplaces - Finnegans Wake
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dpe666
Inner circle
Under your bed or in your closet
2782 Posts
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Posted: May 5, 2009 4:22pm
Quote:
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On 2008-12-31 23:15, Margarette wrote:
That Deep6 person contacted me, and after ignoring the e-mails (because I didn't like the tone) I got left alone.
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Just an FYI, that wasn't me. 
Find my e-books at
http://www.mentalshocks.com
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Dr. Solar
Special user
Citrus Heights, Ca.
511 Posts
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Posted: May 5, 2009 8:03pm
This is very saddening. something I have certainly not had to encounter. I pride myself on thinking I have a handle on the reading of social barometric levels but this goes way beyond my spectrum. I am so very sorry to hear of this social sickness that at, least, puts a damper on creative expression and at most leads to the current crimes over Craigslist and a certain med student.
Best wishes to each and every one of you/ us,
Dr. Solar
"look for me in all things forgotten"
www.drsolar.com
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Dreadnought
Special user
Athens, Georgia
835 Posts
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Posted: Jul 12, 2009 12:29am
As a former New Orleans Homicide Detective and Interrogator, now a private investigator, I have to say that what Montymagi says is true. However, I graduated from a six week course in Sexual Predator Profiling, without giving you the willies, let me give you a little bit more to think about.
You may think that the S&M crowd and foot fetish people are harmless as they are only sending you e-mail and picking your websites for pictures. However, these people run in circles, some extremely tight knit and the exchange of information, particularly stories and role playing fantasies is fast and furious. I would report anything to the police, even e-mail from some unknown place. The local police may just shrug their shoulders but at least the incident is on record. This is extremely important in case your admirer follows you out of state or just to another city in the same state and decides to do something, you have something for law enforcement to track, this also shows a pattern and history of activity for the guy or in some cases girl.
You should also get a notebook and keep a written diary detailing the date, time, place and nature of the incident. This diary also goes into establishing a pattern and history.
No one is harmless. All have violent potential. Some in the S&M crowd will get lost in their fantasies and start to pursue their new interest. Some are trying to perfect their fantasies and may have a victim(s) no one knows about, thinking they are harmless is a big mistake.
Some stalkers, will begin to get more brazen and start to evolve from just a person with a foot fetish who watches in the background to a person with an agenda. Many stalkers suffer from something called Erotic Mania. It is a full blown psychological condition where the person becomes delusional and extremely violent. Television actress Theresa Saldana who starred in the 1990's television drama "The Commish" with Michael Chiklis was attacked on her front lawn by a stalker and stabbed numerous times. Tennis star Monica Seles was attacked and stabbed by a stalker of tennis rival Steffi Graf and John Hinckley Jr. the man who attempted to assassinate Ronald Regan was stalking Jodie Foster, Hinckley, Seles' attacker and Saladana's attacker were all diagnosed with Erotic Mania. The hallmark of the Erotic Maniac is that they will do something to prove their love by attacking someone else who they view as a rival or, in Regan's case, a high risk target to prove their love or they will turn on their perceived loved one with the mind frame, "If I can't have you then no one can." In the mind of the stalker, by killing the beloved the beloved will always be his/hers.
Take this stuff seriously. It's not just harmless e-mail. Call the police next time and if you have an attorney on retainer get them involved.
Peace
"Ave Maria gratia plena Dominus tecum..."
Scott
Would you do anything for the person you love?
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Lady R
New user
9 Posts
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Posted: Aug 11, 2009 6:17am
Really informative thread. Always listen to your instincts - they're usually right.
Keep safe everyone.
LR.
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Dougini
Inner circle
I have killed more topics with my
4630 Posts
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Posted: Aug 6, 2010 4:50pm
Quote:
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On 2008-12-31 15:22, SillverFoxx wrote:
...say what you will about women being strong and doing anything a man can do...pound for pound we really can't physically match a guy. Especially one that has something this sick on his mind.
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That is precisely why a woman performer should ALWAYS be escorted by someone who can PROTECT her. I am a radio announcer, by trade, and at night, I have always offered to escort the lady DJ's and Newspeople to their cars. I'm not a very big guy, but God help any perv that would try and make a move!
And Ms. M's underwear being stolen...sheesh! I thought I'd heard it all. Sick world.
Doug
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Nikki
New user
NY
13 Posts
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Posted: Aug 6, 2010 7:17pm
Wow. That is very disturbing. I've never had anything creepy/disturbing happen after a performance. However, I've had a lot of experience with creepy older magicians...seriously, ya just never know.
Posted: Aug 6, 2010 10:43pm
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I can't figure out how to edit anything..., but I meant dealing with creepy older magicians* It sounds...different, as written above.
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Dougini
Inner circle
I have killed more topics with my
4630 Posts
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Posted: Aug 6, 2010 10:48pm
Quote:
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On 2010-08-06 19:17, Nikki wrote:
I've had a lot of experience with creepy older magicians...seriously, ya just never know.
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Yikes! I'm an older magician. I'm 54. I might be considered creepy, I don't know. I try not to impose on anyone. If I think someone's "creeped out" by me, I can vanish like a breeze through a birdcage! LOL!
Doug
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Nikki
New user
NY
13 Posts
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Posted: Aug 6, 2010 11:03pm
Quote:
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On 2010-08-06 22:48, Dougini wrote:
Quote:
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On 2010-08-06 19:17, Nikki wrote:
Ive had a lot of experience with creepy older magicians...seriously, ya just never know.
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Yikes! I'm an older magician. I'm 54. I might be considered creepy, I don't know. I try not to impose on anyone. If I think someone's "creeped out" by me, I can vanish like a breeze through a birdcage! LOL!
Doug
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Not all older magicians are like that. Haha. I meant more, I've had a lot of older magicians say things they shouldn't,...that are, very inappropriate. I've had them hit on me I had one ask for my address at one point...weird. Obviously I didn't give it to him. And they knew my age too and how much younger I was than them... I won't say anymore though...I'll leave it there, haha.
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Dougini
Inner circle
I have killed more topics with my
4630 Posts
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Posted: Aug 6, 2010 11:53pm
Ha haa! LOL! I knew you didn't mean any harm! There are some VERY inappropriate older magicians in the magic world. Luckily, I don't know any. I have heard stories from girls, that just make me LIVID.
I'm in the radio business. I'm an announcer/DJ, and have had to talk with young girls about the ridiculous behavior of my fellow staff members. One DJ (older than I am) had a real bad habit of doing what you just mentioned. The girl(s) would call me (I was the night time radio host), and complain. I seemed to be the therapist for these girls. Then, I would have a serious "talk" with the offending DJ the next day. Then, if it continued, the Program Director would hear from me.
There is NO excuse for that. NONE. I won't tolerate that behavior from anyone. Older men are arrested all the time for inappropriate behavior such as you mention. I recommend you hang with someone you trust, that can protect you during your performance. Like an older brother, or good friend. I worry about younger girls being by themselves in a crowd of strangers. Do be safe, Nikki. And continue to do magic!
Sincerely,
Doug
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Nikki
New user
NY
13 Posts
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Posted: Aug 6, 2010 11:56pm
Haha yeah, I'm never alone.
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Kabanning
New user
58 Posts
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Posted: Aug 7, 2010 3:02pm
Although, I've never experianced anything performing, I have had one case of one particular wheel-chair bound individual who had a foot fetish who had no problems oogling my feet. It didn't matter what footwear I was wearing, he'd just eye my feet and I don't have particularly nice feet. I encountered him in a cyber Café by a previous place of work. I made the connection when I looked back on his browse history. He not only had a thing for feet but he also had a thing for Christian porn. Whenever I see him in public, I tend to avoid him.
Although, I do think it is important here that despite all the horror stories we are hearing here that we shouldn't be paranoid about day-to-day life. In people reading this, it's very easy to become paranoid and that is no way to live. Irregardless of gender, we all should try to be at least a little careful but not overly so where it becomes an imparement.
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Dougini
Inner circle
I have killed more topics with my
4630 Posts
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Posted: Aug 7, 2010 5:04pm
Miss Kabanning...if I may ask, "Christian Porn"??? I'm a Christian, and I have NEVER heard of such a thing...kind of contradiction in terms. If you don't want to answer here, feel free to PM me.
I'm not a guy who likes porn. Pictures of pretty girls in bikinis...OK. But porn...NOT. I cannot imagine anything porn being Christian. (~shudder~)
Doug
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Kabanning
New user
58 Posts
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Posted: Aug 7, 2010 7:30pm
Quote:
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On 2010-08-07 17:04, Dougini wrote:
Miss Kabanning...if I may ask, "Christian Porn"??? I'm a Christian, and I have NEVER heard of such a thing...kind of contradiction in terms. If you don't want to answer here, feel free to PM me.
I'm not a guy who likes porn. Pictures of pretty girls in bikinis...OK. But porn...NOT. I cannot imagine anything porn being Christian. (~shudder~)
Doug
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It does seem like a contradiction, doesn't it? I equate it to Rule 34 - If it exists, there will be porn. It's inevitable.
I didn't actually click on any links. I just pulled up the browse history tab and saw all his google searches plus any websites he may have visited. I didn't want to look any further. It was just another level of squick.
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Cyberqat
Inner circle
You can tell I work on the net from my
2210 Posts
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Posted: Aug 7, 2010 10:21pm
Well, I'm an older magician too Niki (just a "kid" though at 46). And happily and totally married, i.e. safe.
I can understand the attention-- you seem smart, from your picture very pretty, and you actually understand this weird interest we have  Still, I hope most of them are classy enough to take a "not interested" and move on. I *would* mention that nerdy can sometimes come off creepy thanks to trying a bit too hard to compensate for fundamental terror of rejection. So not all guys who seem 'a little creepy' might actually be creeps. Still, trust your gut when you have nothing else to go on. that's what I'd tell a daughter.
This isn't the only venue you see this behavior in. The thing about the internet is it lets people be who they are without fear of identification, which isn't always a good thing.
Another long standing hobby of mine is roleplay games (not the sexual kind, the nerdy dice and pencils kind) both off and online. For reasons I wrote an entire blog on and thus won't go into here, I play both male and female characters. And running women, I've seen the creep factor in online RPGs,too. General rule I have there: if within 20 min. of meeting you the other player wants to start talking about sexual topics, run.
(In case anyone wants to see it btw... here is the old blog:
http://weblogs.java.net/blog/2004/05/03/cross-gender-role-play)
Posted: Aug 7, 2010 10:27pm
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Btw... the comment about circles people run in.
While this is true, its also indicative of an effect that is well understood by sociologists. Any behavior pattern that is forced under-ground will generate/collect sub-groups that are pathological. So while its true that within fetishist circles run some very sick people and that these circles provide them a certain degree of cover, if we were more understanding in our society OF such fetishes or alternate lifestyles they would be more healthily integrated into our society.
By pushing the perfectly healthy individuals with unusual life styles or fantasy lives into the dark, we more or less force them into community with the darker side of our society.
Here endeth the the sermon.
Posted: Aug 7, 2010 11:44pm
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Afterthought.... also remember that you don't have to go to weird chat rooms to meet creepy or dangerous men. Someone very close to me was date-raped by someone she met at church.
It is always darkest just before you are eaten by a grue.
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Dougini
Inner circle
I have killed more topics with my
4630 Posts
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Posted: Aug 8, 2010 1:17pm
Quote:
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On 2010-08-07 22:27, Cyberqat wrote:
While this is true, its also indicative of an effect that is well understood by sociologists. Any behavior pattern that is forced under-ground will generate/collect sub-groups that are pathological.
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Very interesting thought. Our society does this. Religious people can really force these behaviors underground! Zero tolerance, and all that...
Quote:
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So while its true that within fetishist circles run some very sick people and that these circles provide them a certain degree of cover, if we were more understanding in our society OF such fetishes or alternate lifestyles they would be more healthily integrated into our society.
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But those very sick people should be dealt with, lest they become a danger to society. We are, however, much more tolerant with "alternate lifestyles" than we ever have been. Fetishes, I'm not sure. Never had one, so I'm not qualified to say I "understand".
Quote:
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By pushing the perfectly healthy individuals with unusual life styles or fantasy lives into the dark, we more or less force them into community with the darker side of our society...
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And we definitely do have a darker side of society (And I shudder, just thinking about it). The perfectly healthy individuals with unusual lifestyles, are no problem. It's when children or young people (like Nikki) are in danger, that I get concerned, and step in.
Great thoughts, Cyberqat!
Doug
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EsnRedshirt
Special user
Newark, CA
902 Posts
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Posted: Aug 10, 2010 4:41pm
Cyberquat- your post reminded me of one of my recent D&D games. I started out as a big half-orc Paladin (to the uninitiated, think "ugly knight in shining armor") but after an unfortunate incident where he was lowered into a pit of zombies and turned out to be almost too heavy for the party to haul back up (and because we desperately needed a better healer) I switched to a priest- who was a female halfling, because they were the shortest and lightest characters that could be played. It did come in handy at times when ropes needed to be ferried across pits (but I gave her a fierce temper, since it wouldn't do to have her tossed about lightly.)
At any rate, I've also played female characters online, mainly because I had an interesting character concept to try out, and I occasionally like the "acting" challenge.
There are a lot of creeps online. And a lot of lonely people who don't even realize they're being creepy. The latter often just need to get out more- it's part of the "don't shut them away" effect you mentioned.
Sometimes geeks adopt a sort of "we've got to stick together" philosophy, and hate to leave someone out of their group, just because they've been their themselves. This can be counterproductive, especially when some of the weirder group members have a tendency to drive away potential newcomers. (Anyone who's seen a girl walk into a comic book shop may have seen the results of this.) It can also be dangerous- the real sickos should be de-friended, blocked, and avoided whenever possible.
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.
* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt.
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Kabanning
New user
58 Posts
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Posted: Aug 12, 2010 1:03pm
Quote:
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On 2010-08-07 15:02, Kabanning wrote:
I encountered him in a cyber Café by a previous place of work. |
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Just as an aside, did I actually use the word 'cyber Café?' I'm almost certain I called it an 'internet Café.' I generally don't use the word cyber unless I'm talking about cybering which almost never turns up in a conversation for me.
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The Mighty Fool
Inner circle
I feel like a big-top tent having
1792 Posts
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Posted: Aug 12, 2010 10:19pm
If you're a magician's assistant, then odds are youre attractive, flexible, and vivacious, so yes there will be a fascination, and the many bondage-esqe tricks will activate that fetish in people. What REALLY gets them going though, is a female magician. Theres the outgoing dominant persona, the mystery-factor, and the fact that a great many female magicians use female assistants activates the lesbian fetish, not to mention all the comic-book dweebs who think they've finally found the live version of "Zatana".
Everybody wants to beleive.....we just help them along.
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Dougini
Inner circle
I have killed more topics with my
4630 Posts
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Posted: Aug 13, 2010 2:04pm
My first fascination with women magicians started with Melinda, The First Lady of Magic (do a search on YouTube). Then, a long time ago, I was enchanted by Randi Rain. I'd be careful about approaching her, as she'd take one look at me, shred me, impale me on a spike and light me on fire! LOL!
I'm a harmless, pretty normal guy. I just LOOK like the devil. it doesn't get any better, the older I get, LOL!
Doug
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