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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Jun 29, 2009 8:22pm
Oxymoron are a superb tools for script. Here is a list of them. I used them but would like to know if other magicians use them in a different way...
The only certainty is that nothing is certain
Change is the only constant
Always be on the lookout for the obvious
Free advice is worth what you paid for it
When its full of old clichιs, let's find new clichιs
Always remember you're unique .. just like everyone else
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure
Modern magic is very old fashioned
I paid too much for it, but its worth it.
Minimum gain for a maximum winner
Some things in life are not for sale... unless if the price is right
You'd be surprised how much it costs to keep it this cheap
This is what most people would say, but I disagree with unanimity
These balls (cups) are exactly identical, but this one is not
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
His identity lies in not knowing who he is
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot
No matter where you go, there you are!
Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on
Be here Now, when you can
Ill do it slowly: we're in a hurry
Everything is so random there must be a pattern
Half the lies that Im telling you are not true
This is a deeply superficial effect
Since youre easily satisfied with the very best, Ill show you something magic
I can give you a definite perhaps.
I can resist everything but temptation
I can't remember having a more memorable time.
I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
I'm proud of my humility.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
It's eight o'clock, sir! - Why the devil didn't you tell me that before? -- Overheard in hotel
It's wrong to be always right.
Life is full of uncertainties ... or I could be wrong about that?
No one goes to that place anymore - it's always too crowded. -- Yogi Berra
Nobody goes to Miami in the Winter. It's too crowded. -- Yogi Berra
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
Remember the future. -- Tagline for the movie "Paycheck"
Reporter: You say you've never made a picture before? Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that's our strongest weak point. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
The clock is two minutes ahead and one hour behind.
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. -- George Bernard Shaw
The good oxymoron, to define it by a self-illustration, must be a planned inadvertency. -- Wilson Follett
The Right way is the Wrong way and the Left way is the Right way. (Driving directions)
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. -- Paul Valery
The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali
There's no such thing as non-existence.
They say it's not as bad as they say it is.
This page intentionally left blank. -- (Non-blank with the comment)
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
Walking up stairs gets me down.
We must believe in free will. We have no choice. -- Isaac B. Singer
You always find something in the last place you look.
You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met. -- from the movie 'I, Robot'
You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it
A person who doesn't vote votes for the winner!
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. -- Winston Churchill
A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation's heritage, such a phrase may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade. -- Kevin M. Matarese, Fulda, West Germany; as seen in 'Letters', Time magazine, March 5, 1990, page 5
An abstention is a vote for the winner!
As famous as the unknown soldier.
Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting. -- Samuel Goldwyn
If Roosevelt was alive, he'd turn over in his grave. -- Samuel Goldwyn
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. -- Winston Churchill
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. -- Winston Churchill
The only new thing in this world, is the history you did not know. -- Harry Truman
Health
A hospital is no place to be sick. -- Samuel Goldwyn
A little pain never hurt anyone.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn
He lived his life to the end.
Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Often it is fatal to live too long. -- Racine
Rehab is for quitters!
The first condition of immortality is death. -- Stanislaw Lec
The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village? 'We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago'.
Legal
After Donald Trump's stretch limousine was stolen and found undamaged a few blocks away; he said, 'Nothing was stolen. I had an honest thief.' -- International Herald Tribune, March 2, 1992, page 3
Mathematics
The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
Why don't you pair em up in threes? -- Yogi Berra
Recreation
A joke is a very serious thing. -- Winston Churchill
Staying awake to chase a dream. -- Muse (UK rock band) in their song 'Falling Away With You'
We take fun seriously.
Relationships
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. -- Irene Peter
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
Everytime I see her, it just eats me inside out.
Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you. -- Samuel Goldwyn
He doesn't have much of a reputation or so I've heard.
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill
I always advise people never to give advice. -- P. G. Wodehouse
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. -- Jules Renard
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
I hate you as much as I love you.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
I never liked you, and I always will. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I'm not going to say, 'I told you so'.
Maybe the bitterness will make you a bit sweeter. -- R.M.
Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad. -- Victor Hugo
'No comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. -- Winston Churchill
Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't keep them. -- Anthony Haden-Guest
Our comedies are not to be laughed at. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Our similarities are different. -- Dale Berra, son of Yogi
Parting is such sweet sorrow. -- William Shakespeare
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
Samuel Goldwyn, when told his son was getting married: Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Seriously, you need to lighten up.
Some bachelors want a meaningful overnight relationship.
Too bad Sponge Bob is not here to celebrate Sponge Bob not being here! -- Squidward
Treat me like an angel and I'll be your little devil.
You Win, I Win, We Lose. -- Lyrics, Kenny Chesney
You're on my list of people that will never make any list of mine.
Religion
Christ was born in year 4 B.C.
Evil isn't all bad.
I die every day; I mean that brothers, just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. -- 1 Corinthians 15:31
Thank God I'm an Atheist.
Science
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees. This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
It isn't an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium fishelsoni is not among them. The newly identified one-celled macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long, large enough to be seen with the naked eye. -- Described in the current Nature, 'It is a million times as massive as a typical bacterium.' - Time, March 29, 1993, page 25
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -- W.C. Fields
Skills
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. -- Ambrose Bierce
Chronoscopy is the observation and exact estimation of time. -- Exact estimation
Common sense is not so common.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. -- Winston Churchill
Do not put statements in the negative form. And don't start sentences with a conjunction. It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by re-reading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. De-accession euphemisms. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration. Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. -- Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times
Everyone writes on the walls except me. -- Said to be graffiti seen in Pompeii
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
He talks right and runs left. -- Bob Dole, on Clinton's changing-political positions
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is much better to prophesy after the event has already taken place. -- Winston Churchill
I distinctly remember forgetting that. -- Clara Barton
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one. -- James G. Bennet
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. -- Winston Churchill
I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -- Benjamin Disraeli
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain
I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
May I ask a question?
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Spontaneity is good as long as it is controlled.
Stop stabbing yourself in the back. -- Judith Briles
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -- Winston Churchill
This report is filled with omissions.
To lead the people, walk behind them. -- Lao-Tzu
We are not anticipating any emergencies.
We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
You win big when you lose right.
Society & Culture
An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. -- George Bernard Shaw
You non-conformists are all the same. -- Muse (UK rock band) in their song
Technology
Click the 'Start' button to Shut Down the computer.
Why don't they make the whole airplane out of that black box stuff? -- Steven Wright
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Steve_Mollett
Inner circle
Eh, so I've made
2603 Posts
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Posted: Jun 30, 2009 3:35pm
I will now attempt to release myself from this escape-proof restraint.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
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Bertrand Thornley
Loyal user
Tampa, FL
278 Posts
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Posted: Jul 1, 2009 2:43pm
Those are great! Thanks.
"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business." Tom Robbins
Personal Revelation: I'm not a hippopotamus
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Steve_Mollett
Inner circle
Eh, so I've made
2603 Posts
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Posted: Jul 1, 2009 4:05pm
"Faith without proof is not faith."
"Zest gets you cleaner than soap."
"Freedom isn't Free."
Posted: Jul 1, 2009 4:05pm
"Reject Negativity!"
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
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Bill
Veteran user
and Pretty Nice Guy
336 Posts
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Posted: Jul 2, 2009 5:02pm
Thank God I'm an Atheist!
Government help
She is pretty ugly.
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funsway
Inner circle
improbable magic & extraordinary acts
4773 Posts
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Posted: Jul 3, 2009 3:48pm
The problem with today is that the future isnt what it used to be.
Paul Valary 1891
"there is real merit in the magician who tries to be creative from such endeavors magic sustains its life energy." Harold Rice
ShareBooks at www.eversway.com * questions at gusarimagic@comcast.net
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Steve_Mollett
Inner circle
Eh, so I've made
2603 Posts
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Posted: Jul 3, 2009 5:19pm
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
- Will Rogers
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Jul 8, 2009 4:05am
These are great
How are you using them in the frame of a script?
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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YRauch
Regular user
199 Posts
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Posted: Aug 18, 2009 6:06pm
I don't know if Lawrence O mentioned this, but it's one of the best:
"Microsoft works."
Yehuda
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Jia Truong
New user
Australia
38 Posts
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Posted: Aug 29, 2009 5:36am
This isn't an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Thanks Lawrence. This is just the phrase I needed for my routine.
Best Regards,
Jia Truong
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corsufle
Regular user
195 Posts
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Posted: Aug 30, 2009 3:15am
Quote:
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On 2009-06-29 20:22, Lawrence O wrote:
Oxymoron are a superb tools for script. Here is a list of them. I used them but would like to know if other magicians use them in a different way...
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Great collection! I am curious how you are using them? Integrated into the patter for specific tricks? As humorous asides? Some other way?
Who is the Fool with the guitar?
Find out at HobbyhorseMusic.com
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Aug 30, 2009 8:50pm
Magic is the logical evidence supplied live of something which people know for a fact and have verified by experience. Yet as a magician the performer, by nature, is claiming that his effect is not true even if his demonstration cannot be disproved.
Any effect (transposition, solid through solid, apparition...) can be presented under an almost infinite number of emotions.
A well chosen oxymoron placed at the very beginning of an effect can set the emotional framework in which such an effect will be presented and announce the conflict with the known facts which will generate the amazement.
As an example take the first oxymoron that I quoted:
The only certainty is that nothing is certain
A ball is placed under a cup, or a card in the deck, or a ring on a string... but by magic (the name we use to describe an impossible cause which doesn't exist) at a given moment the ball will travel under another cup or the signed card will arrive into a small box which was in full view even before the card was chosen, or the ring will escape the string it was threaded on.
In all these cases one can use the oxymoron "The only certainty is that nothing is certain": see I place a ball under this cup. It really goes under the cup. This is a stubborn fact. Now I do nothing but I do it well (another oxymoron). Just a wave of the wand and like a ghost travels throug the walls of an ancient citadel... the ball tavels here (lift theother cup. Then lift the departure cup saying "see: the only certainty is that nothing is certain"
Renι Lavand likes oxymorons which can come back in a trick like a musical phrase at the proper time and the proper number of times.
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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corsufle
Regular user
195 Posts
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Posted: Sep 5, 2009 4:00am
Thanks for your explanation. That makes a lot of sense and seems like it would be quite effective.
Who is the Fool with the guitar?
Find out at HobbyhorseMusic.com
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Sep 7, 2009 4:44pm
I'm glad that it does make sense for you. Now the example that I gave is a fairly basic one for I didn't want to send two messages at once. In real life, next to oxymorons, I'm also using metaphors (metaphors are what we express with images like "my computer "crashed")
So let's put metaphors in the example to replace descriptive patter
Commingling both principles, it could go something like this:
"The only certainty is that nothing is certain." As we all know it: the hammer must always remain under the bell: no hammer, no ring; no ring , no bell. This is a stubborn fact. Now I do nothing but I do it well. Just a wave of the wand... and like a friendly bullet travels through an enemy helmet at the speed of sound... see: no need even to aim (lift the other cup. Then lift the departure cup saying) "but as I said: the only certainty is that nothing is certain"
Isn't it more interesting and magical than the usual: "I put it under here... I wave my wand... and the balls travels under this cup"
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Bill Palmer
Eternal Order
Only Jonathan Townsend has more than
23786 Posts
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Posted: Sep 11, 2009 6:56pm
Quote:
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On 2009-08-18 18:06, YRauch wrote:
I don't know if Lawrence O mentioned this, but it's one of the best:
"Microsoft works."
Yehuda
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Microsoft customer support.
"The Swatter"
Founder of CODBAMMC
My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups."
www.cupsandballsmuseum.com
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Leslie Melville
Special user
Blackpool-U.K.
552 Posts
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Posted: Sep 12, 2009 5:50am
In the context of script creation, this thread is the most valuable of anything that I have read since joining the forum.
So a huge 'THANK YOU!' to Lawrence O for the initial collection of oxymorons at the beginning and then the further examples of their use in presentation.
By way of caution, I would suggest that the technique should be used sparingly. A full performance containing this type of patter delivery would surely set spinning the heads of your audience members! Two routines in a half hour presentation would probably be enough.
Thanks again for this most thought provoking of ideas.
Leslie
Stories....?....That's telling!
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Sep 12, 2009 9:59am
I just read an oxymoron by Bill Abbot
"I am a deeply superficial person"
I just loved it
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Sep 12, 2009 3:32pm
Quote:
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By way of caution, I would suggest that the technique should be used sparingly. A full performance containing this type of patter delivery would surely set spinning the heads of your audience members! Two routines in a half hour presentation would probably be enough.
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Just like every other good things in life (unfortunately) and I'll name all of them... even under torture...
By the way I just heard another great one today on French TV:
If you study the past, it will always be present
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6335 Posts
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Posted: Sep 13, 2009 1:37pm
Like the Tarbell Course... if you can remember 10 of these and use them for the rest of your life, it was worth reading.
Take your time, but hurry.
http://www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com our 75th year
The one and only www.miraclemagiccompany.com/
And you know what they say - if it works... it's a Miracle!
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Sep 14, 2009 8:15am
Quote:
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On 2009-09-13 13:37, jay leslie wrote:
Like the Tarbell Course... if you can remember 10 of these and use them for the rest of your life, it was worth reading.
Take your time, but hurry.
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Bob Jardine had an interesting line for his close up act.
"Take your time, but hurry up otherwise the dove will suffocate" (or sometimes "...the dove will die").
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Tom Fenton
.jpg)
Inner circle
Leeds, UK (but I'm Scottish)
1260 Posts
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Posted: Sep 14, 2009 1:22pm
If she was alive, my Mother would roll over in her grave.
"But there isn't a door"
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6335 Posts
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Posted: Sep 14, 2009 6:00pm
I thought you were serious, for a minute.
http://www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com our 75th year
The one and only www.miraclemagiccompany.com/
And you know what they say - if it works... it's a Miracle!
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edh
Inner circle
4702 Posts
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Posted: Sep 14, 2009 8:57pm
Central Intelligence Agency.
Are these what are known as Yogi Bera-isms?
Magic is a vanishing art.
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Oct 1, 2009 4:27pm
??
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Bob Sanders
Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
19262 Posts
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Posted: Dec 30, 2009 9:40pm
Here is a real dose of reality. The US Congress is preparing to set up a Consumer Protection agency.
Therefore, the very people who stole your Social Security System are now planning to protect consumers! Oddly, once the government takes over a task, it makes it illegal for others to do it! Avoid effectiveness!
Is this?
Remedial Progress?
Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander
Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz
AmazedWiz@yahoo.com
SilkMagic@DoveLite.com
http://www.magicbysander.com/
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Jan 6, 2010 5:00pm
The French could write books about this... (unfortunately)
Every time an administration (much more than any politician that can only be temporary) calls on noble motives and gets heard, you know that it's going to cost you dearly and for a long, long time...
"Vote for me I will do this for you" seem to balance the accounts, but it doesn't for the true words are "vote for me and the public servants will take your money to be paid to do it for you"
Don't get me started on this
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Steve_Mollett
Inner circle
Eh, so I've made
2603 Posts
|
Posted: Jan 6, 2010 8:41pm
"I have here an ordinary set of Chinese linking rings [wink]."
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
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edh
Inner circle
4702 Posts
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Posted: Jan 6, 2010 10:10pm
Lawrence, Yogi Berra was/is(?) an American baseball player. He had a funny way with words. Here is one that I recall off the top of my head:
"It's like deja vu all over again".
Magic is a vanishing art.
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Jan 9, 2010 7:28pm
Ok, Thks
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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taller8
Special user
Tumwater, Washington
740 Posts
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Posted: Feb 4, 2010 11:31pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6deudS3t7E
I'm used to the two word variety oxymoron, but what a great way to spice up a lackluster presentation.
Thanks Lawrence.
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