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JimbosMagic
Inner circle
1330 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 6:17am
You learn a new card move, go running to find the wife then realised she divorced you for being so sad.
JIMMY CARLO. KIDabra International Family Entertainer of the Year 2009.
IBM Triple Award Winner. Uk Champion of Comedy Magic.
Represented the UK in the United Slapstick Awards on German TV.
European Children's Entertainer of the year 2007/8
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 12:33pm
When your wife has to watch your coin thru table trick one hundred times and she can still catch you.
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dlcmagic
Special user
Pittsburgh, PA
769 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 12:52pm
Much of the furniture in your house consists of a Kub Zag, SubTrunk, and a Sword Basket.
David Lawrence
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6385 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 12:57pm
When the stitches, caused by your METAL Walsh Vanishing Cane, are removed.
You finally quit banging your head as you go in the sub trunk.
When you're standing in line, in another city and someone asks if you're that guy on T.V.
When you have a miniature lay-out of your illusions and your truck interior, so you can see how everything fits.
When you have 200,000 of your own "roll" tickets printed.
When you can pay people to sit on three telephone lines so you never miss a call.
When someone offers to give you a floating lady and you turn them down because you already have 5 other versions.
When you finally move out of your garage and rent an industrial space.
You know, none of these are really funny
When you own 4 copies of the Dante Trunk Book.
When you've ripped-up a thousand Soft soap boxes.
When you've worn out your table and need a new one.
When you have two different versions of your music on a playlist and take the complete sound system to play them.
When two Genii Lifts take-up a corner in your building.
When you can tie your bow tie using only one hand..... either hand.
When you're dry cleaning bill is greater then your electric bill.
When people walk into your office and sarcastically say "Gee... do you think that poster on the wall - with your face on it- is big enough?
When you can truthfully say that all your income comes from performing shows.
That you can sit down with anyone, at the Castle, and contribute to the conversation.
When you could type another million lines here, but you can't because you have to go do a show.
"He who has the most toys when they die.... makes it impossible to sell them all at once" JL
www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 12:57pm
... and two roll-on tables used for dining. 
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JimbosMagic
Inner circle
1330 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 6:50pm
You produce all your food for the BBQ from a dove pan
JIMMY CARLO. KIDabra International Family Entertainer of the Year 2009.
IBM Triple Award Winner. Uk Champion of Comedy Magic.
Represented the UK in the United Slapstick Awards on German TV.
European Children's Entertainer of the year 2007/8
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dlcmagic
Special user
Pittsburgh, PA
769 Posts
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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 11:15pm
You know how to pronounce Dai
David Lawrence
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 23, 2009 12:51am
When your clients want you to perform the torn and restored newspaper trick and you ask them which version they are interested in.
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joseph
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
14418 Posts
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Posted: Sep 24, 2009 3:59pm
When you have 5 sets of Hundy 500...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 24, 2009 4:17pm
When you cannot decide which Top-It version you want to use for your practice.
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dlcmagic
Special user
Pittsburgh, PA
769 Posts
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Posted: Sep 24, 2009 6:22pm
Someone asks you for a lighter and you pull out your wallet.
David Lawrence
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6385 Posts
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Posted: Sep 24, 2009 6:56pm
So... which one is the lighter... the lighter or the wallet?
When you bounce all your change before leaving a tip.
When you have a Home Make Over show come into your house and remove all the cards from your ceiling.
When you're buying a plumbing part and the clerk asks what it's used for and you tell him he wouldn't understand.
When you push shoe laces into themselves before buying them.
When you go to the sewing section and play with all the thread.
When security comes over to you and you hand them a card.... like that explains your actions LOL
I'm guilty of this one... When you buy a machine to make something - one time - just so you can say you did it.
When your license plate has anything to do with show business.
When you cut a large round hold in your favorite briefcase.
When you cut a large round holes in the bottom of a shoe.
When you have 30 different sizes of magnets just because some day, you'll need them.
When you register on this forum with a phony name so you can irritate other people.
When you know that an Elmsley Count is not a real title bestowed on royalty.
When someone asks you about some obscure method and you tell them what page it's on and in what book without looking.
When someone says "do it again" and you don't.
When you pretend to do it again but actually do something different they like even better.
"He who has the most toys when they die.... makes it impossible to sell them all at once" JL
www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com
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dlcmagic
Special user
Pittsburgh, PA
769 Posts
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Posted: Sep 24, 2009 9:19pm
[quote]
On 2009-09-24 18:56, jay leslie wrote:
So... which one is the lighter... the lighter or the wallet?
YES..............
David Lawrence
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 1:54am
When you know Jay is sniffing glue not because he likes to but because he is making a prop for his personal enjoyment.
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dlcmagic
Special user
Pittsburgh, PA
769 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 2:41am
When the guy at the store tells you he has a pull(pool)in the back he ain't talkin about swimming.
David Lawrence
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 6:19am
When these words - pull, lap, steal, loop, etc - makes sense to you.
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joseph
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
14418 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 7:01am
You fold all your playing cards in quarters and add sticky stuff before your kids do...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 10:57am
When you are just waiting for that chance to perform any of your favorite routines.
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BCaldwell
Special user
is really regretting his
524 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 1:26pm
You've been off work for 20 minutes but you just want to check one more post...
"...that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." Dennis Miller 
~Bob~
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6385 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 6:57pm
When you forget to bring an egg to the theatre and you convince someone to go home and get one.
Better... you don't have a tux shirt so you convince someone in the audience to trade their white shirt for yours and you give them back their shirt wringing wet. (Don't ask)
"He who has the most toys when they die.... makes it impossible to sell them all at once" JL
www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com
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joseph
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
14418 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 8:59pm
Your car horn plays Lance Burtons performance music...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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dlcmagic
Special user
Pittsburgh, PA
769 Posts
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Posted: Sep 25, 2009 11:14pm
Quote:
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On 2009-09-25 20:59, joseph wrote:
Your car horn plays Lance Burtons performance music...
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How bout you play horn and you learn Lance Burtons performance music.
David Lawrence
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joseph
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
14418 Posts
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Posted: Sep 26, 2009 7:08am
You use magicians wax to glue your broken coffee cups back together...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 26, 2009 11:05am
You hope that there is such a thing as the ultimate gimmick.
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6385 Posts
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Posted: Sep 26, 2009 1:34pm
You buy the ultimate gimmick and immediately take it apart, so you can improve it.
"He who has the most toys when they die.... makes it impossible to sell them all at once" JL
www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com
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joseph
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
14418 Posts
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Posted: Sep 26, 2009 8:31pm
You wreck the ultimate gimmick, and have to buy a new one...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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JamesTong
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11210 Posts
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Posted: Sep 27, 2009 11:33am
You were so excited buying the ultimate gimmick and found out three days later that the 'super ultimate universal gimmick' had just been launched and you cannot wait to get that also.
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jay leslie
V.I.P.
southern california
6385 Posts
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Posted: Sep 27, 2009 2:22pm
Now THIS was a funny page.... but ULTIMATELY won't we come up with a Super Funny page?
So you buy a dozen super ultimate gimmicks and must sell them immediately to get the universal gimmick which ONLY is wider elastic then the ultimate gimmick ... so there you sit with a piece of elastic wondering what miracles can be done... and ultimately you believe that it was money well spent in a universal kind of way.
You know you're a magician when you can name 30 tricks that use elastic... the ultimate gimmick!
We should put a book out. 30 ways to use elastic. it would sell in the double digits, over time... like a hundred years.
"He who has the most toys when they die.... makes it impossible to sell them all at once" JL
www.TheHouseOfEnchantment.com
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JimbosMagic
Inner circle
1330 Posts
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Posted: Sep 27, 2009 5:19pm
When you spend £200 on magic tricks that will never see the light of day.
JIMMY CARLO. KIDabra International Family Entertainer of the Year 2009.
IBM Triple Award Winner. Uk Champion of Comedy Magic.
Represented the UK in the United Slapstick Awards on German TV.
European Children's Entertainer of the year 2007/8
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Magicjg
Elite user
441 Posts
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Posted: Sep 27, 2009 7:53pm
When you are typing on the magic Café on a Saturday night and wonder why you are single?
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