That you are using the flyers for your act as toilet paper.

You're doing some "research" to make your gambling routine even more authentic.

That after you charge for car fare no one can afford to pay for your act.

You remove the reveal to spectator part from your elmsley count practice.

Instead of a trap door, a box and lots of assistants you just fog the stage excessively to make something disappear.
(Assistant pushes load off stage while laying on a Harbor Freight dolly)


OH the best part
You never did an illusion show before BUT you got the gig 3 days earlier SO you're a magician right? Anyone can do illusions if you pay them, right? NO practice needed, just a rented fog machine,

You started doing bill change trick in reverse as second last trick of your show. Borrow 50 dollar bill from spectator, fold it and unfold to show it changed to five dollar bill, follow up with disappearance act.

Also you have to drop your quick change act because you sold all the costumes expect one.

That you glue 5 nickels together to make the quarters you use in your act.

Your fog machine is your pocket fan
and some burning newspapers...

When the three fiddy you pay to the Loch Ness Monster to bribe it is twice what you have to pay to bribe a congressman.

You're sitting at 5AM trying to use your phone and table as means to transform normal deck to manipulation cards instead of going and buying deck of them.

You stand on a freeway ramp with a sign that says "Will work for a better cardboard sign"

Your magic store is open all night on New Years eve...

When a tt and a 30 year old bottle of single malt scotch cost the same.

The bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"
you call them and ask if they meant you or them....

You start offering free pizza for the kids at your birthday party shows.

You skip chapter 11 in all your magic books...

That you still can't afford a gallon of gasoline.

Those 100 dollar shows through Gag-masters, Fingertack and Bad-Salad are starting to look good.

You actually consider taking that cub scout show for a meal and 5 dollars.

All you know is street magic because that’s where you live.