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Topic: What does your "significant other" think?
Message: Posted by: magicman02 (Feb 22, 2005 02:48AM)
If you are married or have a "significant other" as they call it these days, what does your partner think of what you do, your love of magic/mentalism? Do they care or support you in it? Are they interested in it themself?

What was your partners first reaction when they found out you were into the magical arts?

And if you are a full time pro, what are some of the challenges that exist of performing full time and trying to maintain a stable family life (being on the road a lot can hurt any relationship)
Message: Posted by: RevJohn (Feb 22, 2005 03:03AM)
When I was first started to date the woman who was to be my wife, I was in the stage of magic that I didn't know when to stop showing people effects. The fact that she even considered going on a second date with me proves, to this day, that she loves me.

Although she still runs out of the room screaming when I pull out a deck of cards, or a coin from a pocket. Strange....

John
Message: Posted by: Tom Lauten (Feb 22, 2005 04:25AM)
Well...my other half HATES anything to do with magic!! Seriously.

She considers herself a magic widow and to a degree I suppose she is. The fights we have had would leave you open-mouthed!!! I almost never get a chance to perform when we are together and if I do..well...there is a quiet hell to pay.

I love my partner but consider yourselves lucky if your hobby/passion is supported or even tolerated...it could be worse...a LOT worse.
Message: Posted by: J ack Galloway (Feb 22, 2005 05:09AM)
The lovely and charming girl I married believes I go to far some times.
My performances make her nervous.
But she also supports my work.

But is still learning that we do not advance without a leap of faith.

Cheers

Jack
Message: Posted by: Mesaboogie (Feb 22, 2005 06:20AM)
My wife is not keen on magic but she respects my love for the art and supports me in anyway she can, which suits me.
Message: Posted by: taneous (Feb 22, 2005 07:02AM)
When I started doing magic my wife really encouraged me and still does. She's not too keen on mentalism, but allows me to show her new things I've learnt. She's my best critic and if something gets by her then I know it will work :)
Message: Posted by: enriqueenriquez (Feb 22, 2005 07:12AM)
My wife is very supportive, she always want to know how the performances went, she listen to all my stories... but she doesnít has the capacity to enjoy magic herself. She canít really imagine why some people would like to go and see a magician/ mentalist. Itís a shame, because I will love to have a two person telepathy act with her.

She is the kind of person who has to know how its done. She will grab my cards, pull out my blindfold, etc... Itís like having the heckler at home. Is good for practicing, tough...

In the other hand, my kids (Five and Three years old) arenít impressed with anything I do. They assume Magic is real and I can do anything, so, for them is always like ďOf course you can do that. You are a magician...Ē

Thatís why I donít vanish elephants anymore.
Message: Posted by: toonomads (Feb 22, 2005 07:24AM)
My wife has always encouraged and supported my passion for magic/mentalism and has developed a keen awareness of magical ways and means (to borrow from Al Baker). She has a very sharp critical sense of what works and what doesn't work. She does keep an eye on my spending habits but I feel she is incredibly generous that way.

Though we have lived in Tokyo for the last ten years, we are from Los Angeles and, when we're home, we always spend a couple of nights at the Castle.

Some of her favorite performers: Lance Burton, Daryl, Whit Haydn, Johnny Thompson and Richard Osterlind.

Her favorite show of all times: Seven years ago, we were visiting friends in Mumbai and caught a Sorcar Jr. show. Wonderful, very human.
Message: Posted by: Avrakdavra (Feb 22, 2005 07:50AM)
My wife thinks that magic makes for a cheaper mid-life crisis outlet than would a Ferrari. (So far, she's correct).
Message: Posted by: chichi711 (Feb 22, 2005 08:15AM)
My wife supports me, but hates the magic mess. You know after a long practice session you have crap laying all over the place. If I can just keep it clean then she does not have any problems with it.
Message: Posted by: shrink (Feb 22, 2005 08:19AM)
My wife is dead I sawed in her in half. She hated that trick...

Shrink
Message: Posted by: ChEeKy_MoNkEy (Feb 22, 2005 08:25AM)
...Wow...you actually had a wife Shrink?...
Message: Posted by: D.Paul (Feb 22, 2005 09:52AM)
Ive been with my girlfriend for five years and she was the one who got me started in magic. She bought me the Royal road to card magic for my birthday 4 years ago, so if she ever complains and say "well you started it". But she is very kind and she watches a lot of things I do even though I must get very anouying lol.

Darren
Message: Posted by: Osiris (Feb 22, 2005 10:08AM)
Ok... now for the real facts...

Other than retail sales (especially car or insurance industries, where the hours are outrageously long)the entertainment industry has some of the highest divorice rates out there. This is especially true to the world of the Variety Entertainment, where Magic takes the lead.

Exceptionally few performers have come to know a solid and healthy relationship when the spouse/partner is not an equal to the venture. In a great majority of instances where a couple have managed to survive, it is because either party knows their role in making the act work. They also know how to put an end to their day, limit their spending (in regards to magic stuff), and ENJOY ONE ANOTHER. Too, if their are children in the mix (which does happen) they make certain that there is a great deal of FAMILY TIME put into the equasion.

Being a magician is not easy. The odds are stacked waaaay against our ever being able to make a full-time career without extensive traveling. The other side of this issue is that most of us (Males) are working with lots of scantly dressed young lady's that are frequently much older than us and "available" as we come into middle age. This is why there are so many 50 and 60 year old single magicians with grown up children and teen aged grandchildren but a 25 year old "Friend" working the show, etc.

Another formidable problem within our world is the fact that most that come into magic do so as the result of an inferriority complex (check it out with your local psychologists, it's easily confirmed). As such we find a factor that can stimulate Obsessive-Compulsive disorders which, unfortunately manifest in our becoming co-dependent/possessive & suspicious when it comes to our "mates" (amongst other things)as well as prone towards substance abuse issues like alcoholism, drug addiction, or poor habits like over-extending ourselves, money management issues, etc.

There are tons of obstacle when it comes to knowing a long-term, healthy relationship when you're in this kind of business. It's not impossible, but it takes two individuals that can COMMUNICATE and live in a responsible manner that allows either party a sense of honor, feelings of support, and security in knowing that the other is there NO MATTER WHAT.

Interesting, albeit a dangerous topic!
Message: Posted by: A.G. (Feb 22, 2005 10:26AM)
WOW! I am suprised at the responses here! I have been with my wife (Tina)for 7 years.She works with me and my great team to help with all aspects of the buisness,travel, and show. I think when you treat your partner like an audience member, they will get "sick" of magic, nobody wants to hold out there hand everyday!
I am a hypnotist and mentalist,not saying that magic is annoying,but too much of anything is bad...well almost anything.

My advice to you that have partners that hate magic...remember, its your passion, not theirs.But if you include them in the process, and when the checks come in, you go shopping for shoes(thats her passion, I know, I am a mind reader)


kind thoughts,
Andrew Gerard
Message: Posted by: fizbin (Feb 22, 2005 12:28PM)
My wife is very supportive of my love for magic and mentalism. She has gone so far (on a few occasions) as to insist that I perform for new friends. She has also helped me with subtle touches for an effect I am working on presently. She has always had a mind for the details. Me, I look at the big picture... She has even made cold calls for me, but in any event, She is the best thing that has happened to my carreer as a magician/mentalist.
Message: Posted by: Winnes (Feb 22, 2005 12:58PM)
My missus shows half-hearted enthusiasm, occasionally. She will "go along" with whatever it is I need (for the most part) and will help me out where she can. Its always beneficial to try things out on her before venturing elsewhere. I think its great to have somebody who can give an honest critique and remind you exactly what you are and what you are trying to do from time to time.

She is not into it as much as I would like though, she wouldnt let me bring an Invisible Assistant into bed with us, and the Janus is a no-no.
Message: Posted by: Shnarker (Feb 22, 2005 02:03PM)
Man, my wife is truly the coolest. She has been nothing short of incredible. She loves the fact that I am into magic. At least it keeps me home and out of the bars, which I would frequent nightly. That she is appreciative of. Magic may have saved my liver for sure. Although I now spend drinking money on books and such.
Message: Posted by: Moderncelt (Feb 22, 2005 04:54PM)
I've been with my wife for 3 yrs now. She patiently "puts up" with my various stages of geeking. Magic geeking, mentalism geeking, Halloween special effect geeking, etc. She's very aware that they are outlets for me from my day job (RN) and doesn't complain when I use money from readings to buy us dinner. As she puts it, "At least he's not out at the bars chasing women".
Message: Posted by: rickmagic1 (Feb 22, 2005 05:09PM)
Lori and I have been married for 12 years and she's at the stage in which she doesn't so much enjoy watching me perform, but loves watching other people when I perform for them.

My three daughters, on the other hand, think their dad's a little weird...

Rick
Message: Posted by: Dr_Stephen_Midnight (Feb 22, 2005 05:12PM)
My wife is a tarot reader, and we have done psychic parties as a team.
At the Harry Potter release party at Barnes & Noble Booksellers, I did my wizard show and she gave fluff readings with an Alice in Wonderland deck as a variant of Professor Trelawney.
In a nutshell, she is very supportive.

Steve
Message: Posted by: ptbeast (Feb 22, 2005 06:36PM)
My wife of 12 years is slowly coming around. She has always been
supportive of my related hobbies (haunting and bizarre magic), but
has not been overly interested. The last few years she has gone to
several gatherings with me and is actually considering working with
me on a show this halloween! Time will tell, she is a great actress
and will probably steal the show and end up being the real performer
in the family.

Dave
Message: Posted by: GeorgeG (Feb 22, 2005 07:45PM)
My wife is indifferent over my collecting. I never talk magic as I know it will bore her, but she will take the time to see me perform an effect I may be working on and give me an honest opinion on my performance.
Message: Posted by: Lee Darrow (Feb 23, 2005 12:36AM)
My wife is a gem! Aside from being a reluctant reader (only does it when I get a gig for Sandals resorts so she can come with me), she helped create my PR portfolio, wrote much of the copy in the PR package and the web site, helped me get my headshots done, re-did my wardrobe, improved my stage, direction for my various shows, improved my movement and energy on stage and has not objected EVER to my professional purchases. Of course the fact that she's a graduate of the Goodman School of Drama (at DePaul University) and the publisher of the Chicago Talent Directory might have something to do with it.

I can honestly say that I would not be where I am, either as a person or a performer, without her help for these many years.

I thank the Gods and Goddesses every day of my life for her being in my life. And you may quote me on that! :D

Lee Darrow, C.H.
Message: Posted by: JohnLamberti (Feb 23, 2005 04:06AM)
My fiancee is great. She's very supportive, even though for me it's just a hobby. She tells me when I flash a mistake (she caught the Dreamweaver gimmick the first time I did it for her). Her patience, however, is finite...so I know when to put the tricks away and just be her man. She also definitely keeps my ego in check ;)
Message: Posted by: espmagic (Feb 23, 2005 01:15PM)
Shnarker's comment was the best: "She loves the fact that I am into magic. At least it keeps me home and out of the bars, which I would frequent nightly."

Where else would you be working?

My wife of five years acts as my office assistant, helping me with design of website, business cards, etc. She makes phone calls, tries to "sell" me at every chance. She is wonderful! (Hear that, Jen?)

However, she doesn't want to "talk" mentalism. I get to listen how her day went (oh, did I mention that she also works a full time job?) and all of the grief she often goes through, but she gets this glazed-over look in her eyes when I start talking about the new peek device, or the idea for the show, etc.

And my nine-year old adopted son thinks magic is real, so anything that I do is simply anti-climactic. But right now, I wouldn't have it any other way!

Lee
Message: Posted by: ptbeast (Feb 23, 2005 04:09PM)
A couple of people have mentioned that their kids think the magic is real and it reminded me of an incident I had a few months ago. I wanted to practice an effect and called my youngest (10 year old boy) in to try it out. All of a sudden he burst into tears. This was totally unexpected as nothing I did for him was the least bit scary nor did I think that it was emotional in any way. When I asked him what was the matter he replied "you can read my mind and I can't read yours." A very scary thing for a child...

Dave
Message: Posted by: Don McCleod (Feb 23, 2005 09:43PM)
My wife thinks it's all a big yawn. Maybe I need to sharpen my skills up as I find that she and my daughters end up leaving the room as soon as pull my bikes out. I think magic and mentalism is just a guy thing possibly.
Message: Posted by: RickSilmser (Feb 23, 2005 11:41PM)
LOL...I'm a Hypnotist, how do you think I got a woman 24 years my junior to marry me ???? (J/K).

~Rick~
Message: Posted by: Lee Darrow (Feb 24, 2005 03:39AM)
Rick, my wife was Miss Chicago in 1981. I'm a hypnotist. It's how we met. I'll leave it to you to connect the dots... (joking, but I did help her win 3 Gold medals at ISIA World Championships in Chicago in 1996 using hypnosis to help her with stage anxiety issues).

Lee Darrow, C.H.
Message: Posted by: MagicalPirate (Feb 26, 2005 09:07AM)
Hi Lee:

So your wife is an Ice Skater. I could have used your help years ago if you had any suggestions that would have made you skate better. lol

Martin :pirate:
Message: Posted by: Desix (Mar 4, 2005 11:18AM)
I just use mine as a test subject to practice new effects. When the effect works, she often doesn't speak to me for a while because I don't tell her how I did it. I usually get called a couple names first. Its a lot of fun...
Message: Posted by: Midnight333 (Mar 4, 2005 01:49PM)
Hey, guys? Where does Osiris get his information? He seems to know a lot about alot. I want to see some stats proving that those in the entertainment industry have such a hard time. Documented evidence is always nice.