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Topic: Building
Message: Posted by: Farrell (Apr 6, 2006 02:10PM)
I bought some tools (Skill saw and a screwdriver) and I want to start building illusions My first one will be the impaled What kind of wood should I use for this and where can I get it for CHEAP! my budget is under 200$ PLEASE HELP!
Message: Posted by: NFox (Apr 6, 2006 02:24PM)
You're about five days late...but I'll play along. I'd recommend getting the entire Tarbell series. That is probably the best place to start. Now about your budget:

Why $200?! I built mine for $25. All you need is enough gas to drive between your house and the house of someone who owns a real impaled. Steal it, then drive back. Use the Skill Saw and the screwdriver to break into their house. With the rest of your money, build yourself a cheapy Interlude and Origami.

Nick Fox
Message: Posted by: M-Illusion (Apr 6, 2006 02:24PM)
Use MDF and luan! :)
Message: Posted by: Matt Kap (Apr 6, 2006 02:34PM)
Consider doing a search on the Café. There are many posts concerning building rights, safety concerns, and the overall practicality of the impaled illusion. This is an advanced illusion which involves electronics, metalworking, as well as advanced woodworking skill.

Look through the pages of "Grand Illusion", and you will find a wealth of material and conversation on practical, less-expensive routes in illusion construction.

Message: Posted by: MagicErik (Apr 6, 2006 02:43PM)
Farrel your question is (as I might say) soooooooooooooooooow darn stupid that I can't believe it's a serieus one. If not....: IMPALED IS ONLY FOR PROFESSIONAL BUILDERS. DO NOT BUILD THIS ONE UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE KILLED!! THERE ARE OTHER EASY TO BUILD ILLUSIONS.
Message: Posted by: Laszlo Csizmadi (Apr 6, 2006 02:44PM)

Good joke Farrell especially after your answer for a guy on the other tread who want to build other prop.
Message: Posted by: Kevin Ridgeway (Apr 6, 2006 02:45PM)
Don't forget you need a hammer too.

It would be used to hit Matt Kap over the head for thinking this was a serious thread...LOL

Message: Posted by: Farrell (Apr 6, 2006 02:46PM)
I'm in a big hurry and don't have time to get metalworking tools so I'll make the whole thing from wood. I hneed this thing quick I've got my first show of the year on the 20th and I need something impressive! So you say MDF will wokr well? where can I get the plans for this illusion and if someone would like to PM them to me that would be AWESOME!!! I don't need a drawing just a description will be fine.... there are going to be some big talent scouts in the audience and I think they will be impressed! Thanks!
Message: Posted by: NFox (Apr 6, 2006 02:51PM)
Just don't confuse the men in white coats with a tranquilizer gun for the talent scouts. In fact, just pretend they aren't there and everything will be okay.

Nick Fox
Message: Posted by: Kevin Ridgeway (Apr 6, 2006 02:57PM)
You are way over building this. You should make it out of paper mache.
I can fax you the exact patterns...just use the actual faxes themselves and add some milky glue.

For a finale you could burn it up afterwards.

Message: Posted by: Farrell (Apr 6, 2006 02:59PM)
I never thought of Paper Mache will that hold up with no case while I'm touring?
Message: Posted by: brianmayo (Apr 6, 2006 03:18PM)
Not sure about Paper Mache, but here is another idea

Message: Posted by: Bill Blagg III (Apr 6, 2006 03:19PM)
Kevin, you're cracking me up. Burn it!! Ha ha ha!!
Message: Posted by: Kevin Ridgeway (Apr 6, 2006 03:22PM)
That rednceck impaled is great...LOL

Message: Posted by: Chezaday (Apr 6, 2006 04:39PM)
If anything .. make sure to use at least a 1/2" dowel rod for the sword. This should support you .. for a second or two, if you're lucky it will pass between any vital organs ... but the overall effect will be pretty cool.

Good luck ..

Message: Posted by: Matt Kap (Apr 6, 2006 07:18PM)
Hey, was I the only one trying to be nice to Farrel? After reading the thread: "What's Happening to the Forum", I felt bad about not giving good advice. I swear I have a sense of humor...I swear.

Did you hear about the guy who cut his left side off while trying to build an Impaled?
He's all RIGHT now.

Message: Posted by: Kevin Ridgeway (Apr 6, 2006 08:22PM)
Nice one Matt...good recovery...LOL


P.S. Circular saws rule!
Message: Posted by: Wade Live (Apr 7, 2006 11:59AM)
Hey farrell...

I can see two cards dude!
Message: Posted by: Farrell (Apr 7, 2006 01:49PM)
Right there two Cards..... Maybe they can't see that on the cruise ships huh?
Message: Posted by: Frank Simpson (Apr 7, 2006 05:43PM)
Here's an idea if you decide to use the dowel. Steve is right you want to use at least 1/2" dowel but 5/8 might even be stronger.

But to make it look even more like a sword, wrap it in aluminum foil. That would catch the lights really nicely and look more like metal than if you just spray-painted it.

It's nice to see someone who's not afraid to get his hands dirty and build his own illusions! Just think, the money saved on the illusion can be used for subsequent hospital bills!

Be sure to post pictures of your progress.
Message: Posted by: Payne (Apr 7, 2006 05:56PM)
Forget the dowel as it is just an added expense. You've already got a screw driver so use that instead.
The frugal illusionist knows where and when to cut costs.
Also forget the paper mache. If your gig is on the 20th there isn't enough time for the stuff to dry. I'd go with chicken wire and fiber glass. Both items are easily boosted from your local hardware store. Hey, if you have no problems stealing the plans for an illusion you should have no qualms about shoplifting the necessary supplies to build it. It's all the same isn't it?
You should take the skil saw back and exchange it for a sabre saw as this tool will be more useful to make the couple of intricate cuts you need to make. Be sure to save the sales slip as you scan return the saw for a full cash refund after you finish your big illusion project.
The money you get back from your tool return you can use to hire the hooker you'll need as your assitant for this effect. You don't want to use anyone you know or that can be traced back to you in this trick as I'll wager your finished illusion won't be real dependable nor safe and could very well function as an actual impaler.
Be sure to buy a shovel with the left over funds as you'll need it to hide the body.
Have Fun!
Message: Posted by: Bryan Gilles (Apr 9, 2006 07:43AM)
LOL....good one Payne!!!
Message: Posted by: vj022 (Apr 10, 2006 07:43AM)

I need help, I have a large drill bit stuck in my assistant, What do I do now?
Message: Posted by: EsnRedshirt (Apr 10, 2006 09:53AM)
Hmm, well, I'm afraid the drill bit is a total loss- unless you want to save it, in which case, your assistant is.

Do [b]not[/b] remove the drill bit- it's currently holding pretty much everything in place, and removal will cause a condition known in laymen's circles as "fountains of blood." (While this may be an impressive finale, it's a real mess to clean up, and results in extremely high dry-cleaning bills.)

First, cut the drill bit in half, below the point where it enters the body. This will allow your assistant increased mobility.

Second, check your insurance coverage- do you have any? If so, proceed to the closest emergency room. Otherwise, keep reading.

Third, check with your assistant as to her health care coverage- does she have any? Can she afford the emergency room bill? If so, proceed to the closest emergency room. Otherwise...

You obviously can't remove the drill without making a mess, so here's what you'll need to do: grab the hack saw you used to cut the bit in the first place, and a bottle of crazy glue. Cut the drill bit off as close to the skin as possible on either side of your assistant, then seal the skin to the remaining metal with the crazy glue- it bonds skin instantly, making it ideal for sealing up wounds. Pay your assistant for the show, so she can't harass you anymore, and find a new assistant. Good luck!

(Note: If you prefer to keep the drill bit, position two buckets on either side of your assistant to help catch the blood, then remove the bit. Follow the final step (find a new assistant.))

[i]Disclaimer: I will not be held liable for any bad advice given in the above post which may be followed by misguided and misplaced hope. In the event of a real impalement- get thee to an emergency room. They have very convenient payment plans for these sort of things.[/i]
Message: Posted by: JustinDavid (Apr 10, 2006 01:01PM)
You guys are freaking hilarious.
Message: Posted by: vj022 (Apr 10, 2006 01:17PM)
Ok, I resolved something. I used a jigsaw from both of her hips and got the bit out. Unfortunately, I'm going to need a new assistant for the Impaled. But I have the perfect one for the Thin Model.
Message: Posted by: CasualSoul (Apr 10, 2006 01:46PM)
Some very funny stuff guys. I'm so dense, Farrell had me going there for a while.
Message: Posted by: jimhlou (Apr 10, 2006 03:14PM)

You guys are making fun of a serious request.
The 1/2" wooden dowel should work fine, but be sure to take it to a machine shop with a lathe and have them sharpen the end first.
Message: Posted by: Face (Apr 10, 2006 06:55PM)
MDF is probably the best solution for you :)
Message: Posted by: Payne (Apr 11, 2006 09:47AM)
On 2006-04-10 08:43, vj022 wrote:

I need help, I have a large drill bit stuck in my assistant, What do I do now?

Rename her Chuck