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Topic: Regal Contest
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 12, 2009 09:51AM)
I want to have a contest and give away my new trick "Clink" to two people. I hope this is allowed on the site - if not wipe this post and slap my sorry behind. Here's the contest:

[b]Write a magic-related limerick[/b]

Limericks tend to get dirty and this is a clean site, so watch yourselves.

FIRST PRIZE: A signed first-edition copy of [i]Approaching Magic[/i] plus Clink gimmick and DVD.

RUNNER UP PRIZE: Clink gimmick and DVD

CONTEST ENDS in ONE WEEK, you have until end of day next Friday, the 19th.

Have fun!
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 12, 2009 10:19AM)
Hi David,

Allow me to be the first to offer up a limerick for your consideration:

So many magicians I spy
Have web shops where I can buy
So much stuff for my bin
But I cannot get in
Thanks to some ‘professor’ named Dai ___________


Catch you soon,
Jon
Message: Posted by: Joshua Quinn (Jun 12, 2009 10:19AM)
I've heard nothing of this new "Clink,"
Or whether it's like "Chink-a-Chink,"
But if it's from Regal,
It's practically legal-
ly bound to be stunning, I think.

To brush off this limerick mission,
And pass up a signed first edition
Of [i]Approaching Magic[/i]
Would simply be tragic
For anyone called a magician.
Message: Posted by: John Sturk (Jun 12, 2009 10:43AM)
I like to do magic for all,
"It was fun," I always recall.
But the fun quickly stops
when my chop cup gets dropped
and I have to go chasing the ball!
Message: Posted by: Joshua Quinn (Jun 12, 2009 10:49AM)
Magic is like an angel
Who creates wonder
Around and through each of us.


Wait a minute, wrong form. Here's the corrected version:


"Magic is like an angel / who
Creates wonder / around and through
each of us," I [i]won't[/i] say,
For this is to stay
A limerick, not a haiku.
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 12, 2009 11:03AM)
OMG...these are good!
Message: Posted by: Joshua Quinn (Jun 12, 2009 11:07AM)
A truly impossible trick
Can take your breath like a swift kick...
(This has to stay clean,
So you know what I mean
When I finish with:) ... right to the thigh!
Message: Posted by: Max Krause (Jun 12, 2009 11:08AM)
The tools of magic are many
And money you shouldn't need any
Create from within
And you will begin
To see great results aplenty.

Max
Message: Posted by: Platt (Jun 12, 2009 11:19AM)
EVERYTHING IS A SELF-PROMOTION THESE DAYS.
DISGUISED AS A CONTEST TO TURN A PHRASE.
IT’S DISGUSTING, IT’S CHEAP, IT’S DIRTY NO DOUBT
HAVE YOU HEARD OF MY LATEST?
IT’S CALLED BLACKOUT!

BRIAN PLATT
PLATTMAGIC.COM
Message: Posted by: Joshua Quinn (Jun 12, 2009 11:27AM)
Platt, if you're gonna be a snarky killjoy, at least do it with something approaching proper meter and rhyme:

It's all self-promotion these days,
Even contests to turn a good phrase.
It's dirty no doubt,
But at least my "Blackout"
Has a banner -- 'cause I'm one who pays!
Message: Posted by: craig filicetti (Jun 12, 2009 11:31AM)
This one is magic related,

I thought of phrase quite sensual
It's a little bit Multi Dimensional
With Impossible Insight
And Proximity we might
Take the magic world Red Handed its essential.

-Craig
Message: Posted by: Platt (Jun 12, 2009 11:33AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-12 12:27, Quinn wrote:
Platt, if you're gonna be a snarky killjoy, at least do it with proper meter and rhyme:

It's all self-promotion these days,
Even contests to turn a good phrase.
It's dirty no doubt,
But at least my "Blackout"
Has a banner -- 'cause I'm one who pays!
[/quote]


Nice, I like that one better. Explaining a joke isn't a whole lot of fun, but if I must... David is one of my favorite magicians and I consider him a friend. If it wasn't clear that I was being 100% sarcastic. I apologize. Love the contest. See, no fun.
Message: Posted by: Joshua Quinn (Jun 12, 2009 11:36AM)
Heh, you got me. ;)
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 12, 2009 11:49AM)
I'm going to buy a banner, I have a message in to The Man as of yesterday, so I don't feel guilty!
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 12, 2009 12:20PM)
I love to fill minds full of thunder
with illusions immune from asunder
and leave far behind in the context of time
a memory that magic is wonder

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Cotham (Jun 12, 2009 12:22PM)
There was a magician quite rotten,
his conjuring skills he'd forgotten,
he tried very hard
to do ambitious card,
but his pasteboards went straight to the bottom.
Message: Posted by: Barry Daugherty (Jun 12, 2009 12:25PM)
Here's mine:

There once was a magi named Pat
In shows he liked using his cat
But one day at three
He fell from a tree
No longer the cat in the hat

Thanks!
Barry
Message: Posted by: RawVoodoo (Jun 12, 2009 12:44PM)
There once was a man from Elsass
who had cups made from spun brass
When he'd move them around
a ball would be found
and it knocked everyone on their.....
Message: Posted by: Daren (Jun 12, 2009 12:48PM)
Here is my effort

There once was a hobby called 'Magic'
for those that liked it played with their gadget
cause at pay day you were broke
which made my wife/partner want to choke
and that would be really tragic

lol!
Thanks Daren Rotherham
Message: Posted by: Martino (Jun 12, 2009 01:02PM)
There was a magician called "Regal"
Who used to do tricks with a Beagal
Someone caused a scene
They said "Hey man that's mean!"
"Because", they exclaimed "it's illegal!"




Couldn't make it fit with "Herman the Mouse"! :)
Message: Posted by: Greg Arce (Jun 12, 2009 01:31PM)
I met a man from Nantucket
Who did a card trick in a packet.
I told him use a full deck
So nothing would be suspect.
He just told me to suck it.
Message: Posted by: Leo-Kim (Jun 12, 2009 02:00PM)
If I recall a true limerick must include the name of a city/pplace in the first line. If so, only Greg Acre and Ravoodoo have submitted true limericks.

No I don't have one-sorry

Mikael Johansson
Sweden
Message: Posted by: Roth (Jun 12, 2009 02:12PM)
Dar mag gahk gierk rah klingahkit
shok tak oobaks ahz bizat ak saagit
hegg neuktah heedt waargen
Raktt makrak dar raken dar nakit
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 12, 2009 02:16PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-12 15:00, Leo-Kim wrote:
If I recall a true limerick must include the name of a city/pplace in the first line. If so, only Greg Acre and Ravoodoo have submitted true limericks.

No I don't have one-sorry

Mikael Johansson
Sweden
[/quote]

I cleverly worked NY into my first line. Does that count?
Message: Posted by: Leo-Kim (Jun 12, 2009 02:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-12 15:16, Jon Allen wrote:
[quote]I cleverly worked NY into my first line. Does that count?
[/quote]

Of course!!! (silly me) :)
Message: Posted by: Angelo Carbone (Jun 12, 2009 02:48PM)
A magician called David in LA
Posted a contest on the Magic Café
He will read limericks
Based on magic and tricks
And will choose winners this coming Friday


..and one more just for fun..


The challenge is to write limericks
Which are related to magic or tricks
If you think this is hard
Try forcing a card
When you're hands are being burned at your gigs.

Angelo.
Message: Posted by: MarkTirone (Jun 12, 2009 02:57PM)
Oh Regal is an awesome BAMF
Off my ass he makes me laugh
When I see him in Reel Magic
The results can be real tragic
When he rants he tends to blab-it

That's my sorry excuse of a limerick lol. I havn't written one in the longest time so I kind of forgot what it is. Hope it counts :)
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 12, 2009 03:04PM)
Two more for consideration:

There was a magician Chung Ling Soo
Whose limericks stopped at line two

and

The magician Chung Ling Soo had a son
Message: Posted by: Max Krause (Jun 12, 2009 03:13PM)
LIMERICKS



Lesson 23



A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.



Limericks are meant to be funny. They often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the PUNCH LINE or "heart of the joke." As you work with limericks, remember to have pun, I mean FUN! Say the following limericks out loud and clap to the rhythm.



A flea and a fly in a flue

Were caught, so what could they do?

Said the fly, "Let us flee."

"Let us fly," said the flea.

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Or so I hear.

Msx
Message: Posted by: IanKendall (Jun 12, 2009 03:20PM)
Young Kendall, while sat on the landing,
was practicing keeping his hand in,
but try as he might,
his technique was trite
diagonal shift notwithstanding.

Take care, Ian

edited for concealed profanity...
Message: Posted by: Robert Sixx (Jun 12, 2009 03:27PM)
I once saw a guy in Nantucket
Who made coins appear in a bucket
But his act it did lack
Cause the guy was a hack
So finally he just had to junk it

and just for more fun...

This contest just may be a trap
To prey upon some poor dumb sap
So if I have no good luck
Cause my writing does suck
I'm sorry you had to read all this crap

Humbly submitted for your entertainment pleasure,

Robert
Message: Posted by: Ian Richards (Jun 12, 2009 03:31PM)
From the books “Constant Fooling”
The trick with the mouse left me drooling
But try as I might
I can’t get it right
My fingers and thumbs need re-schooling
Message: Posted by: cairo (Jun 12, 2009 03:31PM)
The magician floated a young lady in the air,
Who had a magnificent pair.
Or that's what we thought,
Till we heard a loud pop,
And it began losing air!
Message: Posted by: IanKendall (Jun 12, 2009 03:34PM)
While studying Erdnase and Sachs,
I noticed there's something that lacks,
In Bobo and Howie
and Hugard and Braue
A method for showing all backs

Alternate last line:

A method for culling red/blacks

Take care, Ian
Message: Posted by: cairo (Jun 12, 2009 03:37PM)
CORRECTION:

The magician floated a young lady in the air,
Who had a magnificent pair,
Or that's what we thought,
Till we heard ONE pop,
And it began losing air!
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 12, 2009 04:15PM)
Guys -

Great entries. You don't need to abide by a name/place construction - have fun!

And to half-answer some questions, yes there is information online about Clink - but nope, not on my site! Happy hunting.

David
Message: Posted by: davidpeters (Jun 12, 2009 04:30PM)
Do you want see a great trick in a blink,
Murphy’s Magic just got in Clink!
Get it now, get it quick.
Only if you want to perform a great trick.
Order now from any dealer world wide,
For where to get it, you will have to decide.
Message: Posted by: ixnay66 (Jun 12, 2009 04:42PM)
There was a young man from Nantucket,
Who dumped coins from the air in a bucket.
He said with a grin,
as he spoke over the din,
Here's one in your ear I'll just pluck it.

(Based on an INCREDIBLY dirty limerick)
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 12, 2009 04:54PM)
A daring young magician from Nantucket,
made a living dropping invisable coins in a bucket,
he'd put his hand in the air,
yet nothing was there,
but the sound was so clear when he'd clunk it.


The street magician was dressed up in black,
All expression his face did lack,
'watch watch' he would say
as a card fluttered away
he had the look but was a terrible hack


America's Got Talent I'll win
thought the Amazing Gene with a grin
Alas he failed to enthrall
as he dropped his Fakini balls
and very loudly passed wind
Message: Posted by: Paul Rathbun (Jun 12, 2009 05:10PM)
I had just stepped out of the stall
Then I started to wash my sponge balls
The manager came in, and I said with chagrin
I guess now you have seen it all.
Message: Posted by: Mark Southworth (Jun 12, 2009 05:17PM)
There was a magician from St. Ives
Who did an act with 8 knives
Not a smash or stab
Or a hand kerbab...but a
Lesson in "Approaching Magic"

Mark Southworth :)
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 12, 2009 06:00PM)
When the new Ellusionst DVD came out
it promised to make hot teen girls shout
yet when performing for a young miss
the magician didn't even get a kiss
let alone convince them to put out.
Message: Posted by: Review King (Jun 12, 2009 06:07PM)
From Chicago's City Limits he flew
To LA for the career that would ensue
Not denying his fate
To write and create
He's proudly a Magician, a Writer and Jew!
Message: Posted by: RicHeka (Jun 12, 2009 06:20PM)
A Masked man appeared on the tube
Showed a trick and then he would tip it

Remove the Mask you old twit
rub it over with lube

And I'll tell you where you can stick it.
Message: Posted by: Cameron Francis (Jun 12, 2009 06:24PM)
A lonely trickster worked in sanitation
Who wanted to impress with a hot Flushtration
He tried really hard
But always dropped the last card
So he quit magic and stuck with masterb*****.
Message: Posted by: MarkTirone (Jun 12, 2009 06:34PM)
David, can I withdraw my entry? I realize it wasn't a limerick and just a bunch of lines that rhymed...
Message: Posted by: VcosNJ (Jun 12, 2009 06:42PM)
David Regal's new trick, he realized,
If you write a good limerick you win the prize
But finding words that can rhyme,
While practicing magic there's no time,
Well at least I hope you know that I tried.

:)
Message: Posted by: Cory Chapin (Jun 12, 2009 08:24PM)
Hickory dickory dock

Nobody's buying my stock

I'm trusting in Jesus

To help change these pieces

Of crap into tricks that will Rock!
Message: Posted by: magicmann (Jun 13, 2009 09:14AM)
There was a magician from France
Who often performed tricks in his pants
He had doves,coins and cards
sponge balls,knives and scarves
You should have seen him dance
Message: Posted by: Daren (Jun 13, 2009 10:10AM)
And another from little ole me

There was a young man of magic
Who invented a fabulous gadget
he put a girl in a box
all covered in locks
but it ended up terribly tragic
Message: Posted by: magicmann (Jun 13, 2009 12:14PM)
And another

There was an old man named Dai
who was a whizz with cards but a bit shy
He could palm with the best
Deal doubles with zest
And his double lift sailed right by
Message: Posted by: magicmann (Jun 13, 2009 12:31PM)
I think this makes more sense

There was an old man named Dai
who was a whizz with cards but a bit shy
He could palm with the best
Deal seconds with zest
And his double lift sailed right by

Paul
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 13, 2009 01:20PM)
Now some may have started to think:
"Is the trick good or does it just stink?"
Don't be a boob
Just go to YouTube
Then search David Regal and Clink
Message: Posted by: Greg Arce (Jun 13, 2009 01:21PM)
Mr. Regal held his original contest
To see who's rhyme would be best
We all tried with our limerick
see if it would do the trick
Of winning this wordplay test.


Greg
Message: Posted by: craig filicetti (Jun 13, 2009 01:32PM)
I think we can all relate to this;

Twas just an hour before the big show
I paced back stage, muttering the lines I must know
I checked each gaffe, not once but twice
I set each pocket; cards, coins, and my dice
Feel the rush, deep breath, .... lets GO!

I don't know about you guys, but that is why I do it.
-Craig
Message: Posted by: mumford (Jun 13, 2009 01:58PM)
One night an amorous young Houdini,
Had a date with a maiden named Jeannie,
The coroner found,
The couple had drowned,
Making love in The Water Torture Cell.
Message: Posted by: lebowski (Jun 13, 2009 02:24PM)
There was a magician who was not unique
Who imagined himself quite a shique,
But the pickings were dim
For a fellow like him,
Who only made sixty a week!
Message: Posted by: magicmann (Jun 13, 2009 02:26PM)
There was a young man named Uri
Who used to bend spoons like fury
This is not magic he said
It's the power in my head
I think we'll leave that to the jury
Message: Posted by: jstone (Jun 13, 2009 03:33PM)
There once was a magi named Regal
Who felt animal abuse was still legal
With his chop-mouse named Herman,
The Cheese-Chasing Vermin
And his Ambitious Card disguised as a beagle.
Message: Posted by: magicandsoul (Jun 13, 2009 03:35PM)
From the small town of Dora lived Mike
Who persistently practiced with Bikes
'Til one day he could force, any card of course
to spectators exclaiming YIKES!

M&S
Message: Posted by: yachanin (Jun 13, 2009 05:12PM)
Come look at my glass and you'll see
It's totally clear and empty.
Just give it a shake
And watch how I make
A coin from thin air clink with glee.

Regards, Steve
Message: Posted by: Andi Peters (Jun 13, 2009 06:15PM)
Dave invented a trick called 'Clink'
To market it he did think
"I'll do a thread on the caf"
But he's having a laff
Coz if I tried they'd kick up a stink.
Message: Posted by: michaelmystic2003 (Jun 13, 2009 07:37PM)
Clever this limerick is not.
Lots of Poetry Books have I bought
I will learn how to rhyme
Now that I've found the time
Kuz I'm done advertising Regal's "Clink" in my limerick
Message: Posted by: Max Krause (Jun 13, 2009 09:22PM)
David,

I missed a word so here is the revised entry. Thanks Turk for letting me know.

Regards,
Max


The tools of magic are many
And money you shouldn't need any
Create from within
And you will begin
To see great results come aplenty.
Message: Posted by: mormonyoyoman (Jun 13, 2009 10:45PM)
In Burbank, a wizard in tux
Wrote a book, and then he said "Shucks!"
'Cause he, sad to say,
Couldn't [i]give[/i] it away.
So he raised it to 75 bucks.

--
This limerick you can bet
Begins with a strange couplet.
(In no wise
Expecting a prize.)
Courtesy of *jeep! Grandpa Chet.
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 13, 2009 11:12PM)
Magic Jim dressed in black every day
much to his mothers dismay
he thought he was cool
doing tricks at his school
and spelling magik with a K


There was a young jew named Dave
his name in a limerick he craved
it didn't matter if it sucked
as long as it saved santa some bucks
too bad on the Café we can't get depraved
Message: Posted by: andykean (Jun 14, 2009 12:18AM)
Some bikes are red
others are blue
when I vanish a card
I leave no clue

Please note, due to an economic downturn limericks have been reduced to four lines & all place names have been removed.
This is designed to improve poets lives across the globe...and foster creative growth in these challenging times!!
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 14, 2009 12:55AM)
My magical Haiku:

Magic in Spring time
A mystery of our art
Resisting masked men


(note that unlike those who violate the rules of the limerick my Haiku follows all the rules of English Haiku)
Message: Posted by: 808 (Jun 14, 2009 05:56AM)
From L.A. comes a contest that's packed

With limericks penned by us hacks!

To win prizes galore

From a man so adored

By Raymond and Chucky from Rugrats!

xx
Message: Posted by: Rizzo (Jun 14, 2009 10:24AM)
To the man with great books great magic great mind
Send me my prize or Ill beat your behind
Message: Posted by: Titanas (Jun 14, 2009 11:29AM)
My name is Dave, I am doing some tricks
you see me, it feels like hitting on bricks

They tell me that Clink is a real something
this glass is making coins from nothing

I Don't know how or what is going
When ever I Clink, I get a coin

So my name is Dave, I am doing some tricks
and this is my way of getting new chicks
Message: Posted by: 808 (Jun 15, 2009 02:27AM)
To The Magic Café I've submitted

The second of three hopeful limericks.

If the third is a bore

Then perhaps I'll do four

But I reckon my first one will win it!

xx
Message: Posted by: jstone (Jun 15, 2009 04:17AM)
Darn you palindrome man!
Message: Posted by: sibbie (Jun 15, 2009 05:11AM)
There once was a magician from Bonaroo
Everyone said his act was "doo doo"
David Regal gave him a book
And he took a serious look
Now he is working Ship-aroos
Message: Posted by: sibbie (Jun 15, 2009 06:16AM)
David Regal, a master magician
He wrote a book with inspired ambition
Now I want it for free
I dream it will come to me
And now my dream will come to fruition

This is the suck up begging remix version. :)
Message: Posted by: magicandsoul (Jun 15, 2009 07:56AM)
Some people are being quite funny
with rhymes full of wishes and honey
as they try to compete, for a prize that is neat
but so far no one's quite on the money

M&S
Message: Posted by: Daren (Jun 15, 2009 01:20PM)
And another from me

There once was a magician who loved card tricks
he bought the next greatest thing to get his fix
one day he will dream up his own
to become the greatest magician ever known
but it was crap and that was that
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 15, 2009 01:27PM)
**PREMISE**

With industrious cunning to spare
we slave to make phantoms appear,
but our clever inventions
divert our attentions
from why any viewer should care.



:)
Message: Posted by: ampere (Jun 15, 2009 01:59PM)
From out of my hat I pulled out a cat The rabbit had gone For this I now knew When my wife phoned And said we had stew.
Message: Posted by: Gilgamesh_The_Librarian (Jun 15, 2009 02:04PM)
With thanks for the inspiration and in memory of Private S Baldrick:

Clink clink clink clink, clink clink clink clink clink,
Clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink,
Clink clink clink clink clink,
Clink clink clink clink clink,
Clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink.

I am going to call it "An ode to great visual magic"
Message: Posted by: Daren (Jun 15, 2009 02:25PM)
There once was a magician that loved card tricks
who bought the next great thing to get his fix
he dreamt of his own
which became the best ever known
and knocked all the others for six!
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 15, 2009 02:46PM)
**LITERACY**

To feed our insatiable diet
for causing a magic-club riot,
a dealer could sell
any trick in Tarbell
and the Internet children would buy it.



:(
Message: Posted by: BMWGuy (Jun 15, 2009 03:13PM)
There once was a writer named David,
Whose passion was magic and creating
From coins to cards, to impromptu miracles
All of these wonders creating a sensation
With Magic transcending the boundaries of all living races.
The Art of Magic is alive on a daily basis.

Alex
Message: Posted by: ampere (Jun 15, 2009 03:25PM)
There is no cure
For this magical lure
I'm doomed and that's for sure
To spend my life on a stage
Ready to conjure.
Message: Posted by: kid iowa (Jun 15, 2009 06:21PM)
My magic skills less than grand
Regal's Limmerick; unplanned
Coins cards and patter
Sucked. Didn't matter
No, I meant the clean hand.
Message: Posted by: Josho (Jun 15, 2009 10:13PM)
A particular trick that I dread
Always gets me in over my head.
But it sure makes ‘em gape
When I try to escape
Fifty feet of invisible thread!

--Josh
Message: Posted by: jprace (Jun 15, 2009 11:30PM)
A young lad bought a toy
here in the capital of Illinois
A deck of cards is what is was
All dirty covered with fuzz
seven years later he was still a happy boy

And he still performs magic today.
Message: Posted by: magicmann (Jun 16, 2009 02:31AM)
There was a young man named Regal
Who used to perform tricks with a beagle
He would cut it in half
And have a good larf
But what he did wasn't legal.
Message: Posted by: pepka (Jun 16, 2009 03:18AM)
I love writing and reading limericks. A year ago, we filled 13 pages with them. I went back and selected a few of mine.

I went to The Castle last night.
Dave Regal took me there for a bite.
I had the lasagna
He said, "Don't get it on ya!"
But now my shirt's no longer white.

I just did a show at The Castle
Where the dress code is always a hassle
"Please have coat and tie, and zip up your fly,
and please don't wear pasties and tassles."

Is it true that Penn and Teller
Have more fans than that dog Old Yeller?
Some folks say they're not bright,
but at least they don't bite
and that Penn sure is a fart smeller.

While practicing sleights in the mirror,
my girlfriend calls out to me "Dear...
Don't fret your head,
just please come to bed,
and could you just bring me a beer.

Did you hear who Criss Angel is dating?
Some hottie with a very high rating.
With very short skirts,
so sexy it hurts,
One more reason it's Angel I'm hating.

I bought a sub trunk on eBay,
From some Jewish magician, (Oy vey!)
His little wife Bess
said "Clean up this mess
Or I'll run off with Lefty and Jay.

Criss Angel is making a mint
as to how, I'll give you a hint.
It's all camera tricks
But he sure gets the chicks
much more so than Hefner or Flynt

Exposure is bad for our craft
Like Valentino at whom we all laughed
He made a quick buck
That ignorant f*#k
The whole thing did seem a bit daft.

And the one that occasionally works it's way into a show.

There was a magician from Prague
Whose wand was as big as a log
He tried a new trick,
waved it over a chick
and Poof...she turned into a frog.
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 16, 2009 06:50AM)
I went to an online magic store
To buy a new trick that I saw
As three cups are used
Then I feel quite abused
With the balls I was forced to buy four
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 16, 2009 07:36AM)
There was a magician from Japan
Whose patter lines just would not scan
When performing his tricks
He used limericks
And in his own words "It probably doesn't help when I always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can."
Message: Posted by: Josho (Jun 16, 2009 09:08AM)
I've got several gaffs in my shoe,
My pockets have packets beaucoup,
Three wallets, five decks,
And twelve matrix effects.
'Cuz I LOVE to perform impromptu!

--Josh
Message: Posted by: pepka (Jun 16, 2009 12:47PM)
Good one Josh!
Message: Posted by: Andi Peters (Jun 16, 2009 01:20PM)
Yes, Josh should win easily with that effort.
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 16, 2009 01:34PM)
Pepka and Andi thought they had votes
they could shove down Regals throat
what they don't understand
is Regals a real man
and we might find them face down in a moat
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 16, 2009 02:36PM)
Barry Mitchell, Kalin & Jinger
Went out and had a great dinner
Kalin pulled out his wand
And with the coolness of the Fonz
Barry Mitchell exclaimed, "Mine is bigger!"

(Bigger Wands…Wherever fine magic props are sold)
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 16, 2009 02:57PM)
**LIMITATIONS**

With magical powers, a bard
might rejuvenate those who are scarred,
clothe the cold, raise the dead,
feed the starved, but instead
most "magicians" I know just fan cards.



:hmm:
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 16, 2009 03:04PM)
A magician barked at me, "Pick a card"
"Take a look, put it back, it's not hard"
With a slip of the tongue
I said, just for fun
"Show me some real magic, Bobby Bouchard"
Message: Posted by: Bill Hallahan (Jun 16, 2009 05:20PM)
I posted this elsewhere in the Magic Café, and it was even my signature long ago, but this is my own original poem.


[b]A Magical Limerick[/b]

A poet, magician, and seer,
made the end of his poems disappear.
When he cast a spell,
you always could tell,


[url=http://][/url]
Message: Posted by: 808 (Jun 16, 2009 05:51PM)
To win with my triplet of limericks

Depends on what David himself thinks

Of an English magician

Doing 'Clink' for a living

Instead of his old Hoppin' Half tricks!

xx
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 16, 2009 06:16PM)
And now for my very last trick
I hope you enjoyed every bit
A hundred dollar bill
Take a look if you will
That's enough! I said LOOK, not appraise it!
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 16, 2009 06:24PM)
Magic, such a wondrous surprise
Objects vanish before your very eyes
Ma'am I need a volunteer
To help make my wand disappear
She said, "I usually get $175"

...It's clean...really! Just a lil' fun with miscommunication!
Message: Posted by: ampere (Jun 16, 2009 08:38PM)
The Regal contest
I do detest
To see grown men
On a quest
To win a trick
At the very best
Stick to the cards
And lose your vest.
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 16, 2009 09:58PM)
Okay, just to help out. A Limerick consist of five lines, the first, second, and fifth rhyme with each other, the third and fourth rhyme with each other but not with the other lines. If you don't follow that format it is not a Limerick but mearly a poem. Thank you....
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 16, 2009 10:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-16 22:58, MagicSanta wrote:
Okay, just to help out. A Limerick consist of five lines, the first, second, and fifth rhyme with each other, the third and fourth rhyme with each other but not with the other lines. If you don't follow that format it is not a Limerick but mearly a poem. Thank you....
[/quote]

And while we're at it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

Best,
Neil
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 16, 2009 11:05PM)
**MYSTERY**

A quiet young man of superb taste,
with outstanding skill and absurd grace,
wrote a card book of fame
without leaving his name.
It's the strangest thing I ever 'erdnase.


;)
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 16, 2009 11:25PM)
There was a magician from Kent
on magic his paycheck was spent
when his wife found him with no cash
she cut him off from her ****
Thus happens with a wifes malcontent
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 17, 2009 06:57AM)
A magician's assistant once said
She could do a great trick with her head
So she bobbed up and down
Then said with a frown
If it takes me much longer, he's dead!
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 17, 2009 09:29AM)
3 coins and 2 hands are thus framed,
at chest height, as all eyes are then trained,
to see all coins when fanned,
go from each hand to hand,
unbeknownst, it's a shell that's to blame.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 17, 2009 09:33AM)
Ambitously I have attempted,
to make signed cards travel exempted,
from the laws that apply,
to both you and I,
to places I previously tempted.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 17, 2009 09:42AM)
A glass bottle and cap are inviting.
Prohibition is always delighting.
As the cap goes from here,
to end up with the beer...
the use of a ring was exciting.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 17, 2009 10:53AM)
One more go:

Your card rises up through the pack
Each time it keeps coming right back
As you follow the plot
I hope you'll not spot
that it's red but it used to be black!
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 17, 2009 11:07AM)
Oh I like this... third go:

I once was approached by someone
Who asked me a question quite dumb:
Can you make a Rabbit disappear?
No I can't but look here...
I can pull a long hare from my bum!

Just call me Jamie Bardman ;-)
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 17, 2009 11:40AM)
My patter I constantly write,
so that words will match as they sight,
all the actions I do,
and some sleights...just a few,
making real and imagined...just right.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 17, 2009 11:45AM)
I've never actually engaged,
to the notion of being on stage,
and perform for so many,
countless hundreds...plus twenty,
it's to the few...where I make my wage.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 17, 2009 12:29PM)
I'm thinking about turning pro
I feel it's the right way to go
I've got all the gear
So I've come onto here
To ask, "What are the best tricks you know?"
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 17, 2009 01:01PM)
**BIRTHDAY**

Performing with best of intentions
I’m ambushed by childhood aggression.
Mauled and maligned
I ask where is the line
‘tween kid shows and demonic possession?



:cyclops:
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 17, 2009 01:38PM)
In this contest, we all can agree,
that the object to win, something free,
will depend, I regret,
on some quip verbal frets,
in which David, the judge, will decree.

Be it closeup, on stage or in parlour,
we all entertain for the dollar,
but more interesting though,
it's not just for the dough,
it's for laughter and wonder filled hollars.

This is final...my last little rhyme,
for I've taken too much of your time,
and to David, I thank,
since it's he that will rank,
for the prize that is hopefully mine.



PLEASE END THIS NOW>>>>I CAN'T STOP THINKING IN LIMERICKS (lol)

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 17, 2009 01:49PM)
This line is counted out twice
If when you read this you're not nice:
An assault you mount
via the Elmsley Count
a quite diabolical device!
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 17, 2009 01:55PM)
There once was a legend called Eddie
Who's double lift had no get-ready
And who's works were prolific
with some quite terrific
But I'm sure you all know that already!
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 17, 2009 01:58PM)
Ok, I'm hoping this isn't TOO risque for the site... I like this so I'm gonna take a chance:

A lady magician called Sue
Showed a man friend just what she could do
She said 'Watch my tricks'
As she pulled down her knicks
And watched as his magic wand grew!
Message: Posted by: TheAmazingSteveo (Jun 17, 2009 02:41PM)
I triple the threat
of 3 coins to become one
A mystery box 2
oh, it's great to have one
To change ones to hundreds
using EB, Heiny or Hundy,
or to bend a coin or two using qb2
brings magical tingling sensations
across so many generations.
Message: Posted by: VcosNJ (Jun 17, 2009 02:45PM)
Children would gather when they hear
When they knew the magician was near
With nothing to see
He'd wave his hand so free
And yet produce a coin from their ear.
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 17, 2009 07:04PM)
There's a count I just saw that's quite nice
But I still think I need some advice
It sounds quite absurd
How the card that was third
Was not seen but the first I saw twice
Message: Posted by: Greg Arce (Jun 17, 2009 07:21PM)
In Hollywood I'm getting sick
Of reading every d-a-m-n limerick.
The 17th can't come soon enough
Because I'm sick of this stuff.
Though I still hope I win the trick. :rotf:

Greg
Message: Posted by: ampere (Jun 17, 2009 08:00PM)
The regal contest I do detest
To see grown men on a quest
They have no chance of ever winning
It's only me that will be grinning
Glad I got that off my chest.
Message: Posted by: Angelo Carbone (Jun 17, 2009 08:17PM)
There was a young fan who said
"Why does Derren keep nodding his head?"
"It's his secret plan.."
said Andy Nyman
"..to hypnotise you into his bed."
Message: Posted by: hou_dini (Jun 17, 2009 08:32PM)
On You Tube I saw the trick "Clink"
On the Café a great contest link
I thought for a minute
I could possibly win it
If this Limerick was judged not to stink!
Message: Posted by: Josho (Jun 17, 2009 08:37PM)
The Classical Force: it can flatten!
When smoothly performed, it’s like satin!
Though I study devout,
Still it always comes out,
“Now just pick a card...NO, NOT THAT’UN!”

--Josh
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 17, 2009 08:49PM)
There was a magic man from Algiers
who performed after too many beers
He staggered around
and shouted out to the crowd
his magic word for the night which was cheers
Message: Posted by: pepka (Jun 17, 2009 09:46PM)
Of Marlo, Vernon and Zarrow
I'm not sure who had the best faro
But all of those guys
Were certainly wise
and they all kept their waist rather narrow

Kozak's new gig in Atlantic City
You must catch it, if not it's a pity
You'll feel really laffy
and eat salt water taffy
But don't eat to much or you'll feel really sh*&&y!
Message: Posted by: jstone (Jun 18, 2009 12:42AM)
True Story:

There's a trick: to all magicians it calls
one to master to enter magic fame's halls
Of the many I could see
Not one worked for me
Until the "Cups and Balls and Cups and Balls"
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 18, 2009 01:11AM)
A Café full of Magi's with tricks
Once tried to construct limericks
But it became clear over time
That with neither magic nor rhyme
Would any of them get lots of chicks!
Message: Posted by: jbadman (Jun 18, 2009 03:05AM)
I think we're all trying too hard
To sound like we're born of the bard
In fact it's quite plain
We're being used again
To plug Regal's packets of card!
Message: Posted by: Brad Burt (Jun 18, 2009 03:18PM)
There once was a snarky old bum,
with a hanky hid in a thumb,
He'd pull it straight out,
with a yell and a shout,
and then drink a bottle of rum.
Message: Posted by: Brad Burt (Jun 18, 2009 03:24PM)
The stage was covered in fog,
the girl had turned to a dog,
the magician was glad,
the audience was had,
and something, something, something that rhymes with fog and dog.
Message: Posted by: MarkTirone (Jun 18, 2009 04:19PM)
Can you re-enter my first one lol.

Oh his retention vanish was too bad
Believe it or not it made me gag
It looked like #$%# on a stick
He even showed me a pic!
Then I beat him up just a tad
Message: Posted by: pepka (Jun 18, 2009 04:23PM)
Brad Burt reported it on his blog.
Message: Posted by: MarkTirone (Jun 18, 2009 04:32PM)
Mirror mirror on the wall
Do you live or see at all
You KNOW you are my best friend
I love the hand you lend
But when I showed you my pass I made you fall
Message: Posted by: MarkTirone (Jun 18, 2009 04:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-18 16:24, Brad Burt wrote:
The stage was covered in fog,
the girl had turned to a dog,
the magician was glad,
the audience was had,
and something, something, something that rhymes with fog and dog.
[/quote]And he sat there like a frog on a log :)
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 18, 2009 04:47PM)
I believe that Chris Angel's new show
Is an event to which noone will go
I've heard it's appalling
With ticket sales falling
Go see Lance at Monte Carlo
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 18, 2009 05:37PM)
**ENOUGH**

Did Shakespeare try things as perverse
As the Zig-Zag or Chop Cup? Or worse,
Did Kipling or Poe
Front a Las Vegas show?
Of course not. Yet we’re murdering verse.



:verysad:
Message: Posted by: Ian Richards (Jun 18, 2009 05:49PM)
“The Card That Could Not Be Found”
Is a magical mystery profound
It uses a mouse
That peeks from its house
And a toy gun that makes a weird sound
Message: Posted by: Al Straker (Jun 18, 2009 06:04PM)
Now Regal invented this "Clink"
By dropping lead weights down the sink
When one became stuck
He was heard to say f@#$
And now fish can be found in his drink!
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 18, 2009 06:36PM)
A young magician from Boston Mass
was sure magic would score him some ***
'watch watch' he would say
but all still thought him gay
Well at least now he can practice his pass
Message: Posted by: Douglas.M (Jun 18, 2009 07:07PM)
Illusions can sometimes be daunting
said a Magi who's voice was quite haunting
he said the word: POND!
and pointed his wand
which flooded my yard with it's founting

A sharper did nothing but win
lots of money by cheating at gin
he got up to leave
when I glanced up his sleeve
and saw a holdout incredibly thin

A magician who fell on hard times
began to believe his own lines
"You're a Rabbit", he said
but I just shook my head
and started craving carrots and vines

"Flourishing ain't 'xactly easy"
said a man whose hands were quite cheesy
He pulled out a deck, and then said "Heck,
I can't fan after pizza so greasy"
Message: Posted by: michaelmystic2003 (Jun 18, 2009 07:11PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-18 18:37, Neil Tobin wrote:
**ENOUGH**

Did Shakespeare try things as perverse
As the Zig-Zag or Chop Cup? Or worse,
Did Kipling or Poe
Front a Las Vegas show?
Of course not. Yet we’re murdering verse.



:verysad:
[/quote]

This is brilliant.
Message: Posted by: michaelmystic2003 (Jun 18, 2009 07:13PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-13 20:37, Michaelmystic2003 wrote:
[b]C[/b]lever this limerick is not.
[b]L[/b]ots of Poetry Books have I bought
[b]I[/b] will learn how to rhyme
[b]N[/b]ow that I've found the time
[b]K[/b]uz I'm done advertising Regal's "Clink" in my limerick
[/quote]
Message: Posted by: Douglas.M (Jun 18, 2009 07:19PM)
A young slight of hand quick-starter
tried to shove a small pen through a quarter
but the pen wouldn't budge
and the fellow said "fudge!
I gave the wrong tip to the porter!"
Message: Posted by: Chris K (Jun 18, 2009 07:19PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-12 12:33, Platt wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-06-12 12:27, Quinn wrote:
Platt, if you're gonna be a snarky killjoy, at least do it with proper meter and rhyme:

It's all self-promotion these days,
Even contests to turn a good phrase.
It's dirty no doubt,
But at least my "Blackout"
Has a banner -- 'cause I'm one who pays!
[/quote]


Nice, I like that one better. Explaining a joke isn't a whole lot of fun, but if I must... David is one of my favorite magicians and I consider him a friend. If it wasn't clear that I was being 100% sarcastic. I apologize. Love the contest. See, no fun.
[/quote]

So I actually had to go see if you were indeed selling Blackout. If you were, I knew it was a joke, if you weren't, I knew you were serious.

It wasn't obvious to me, but it was funny. Except the caps.

I HATE ALL CAPITALS! WHO DOES THAT?
I MEAN, REALLY? YOU CAN'T COMMUNICATE IN A DECENT TONE?!?!?!?
OH, AND MULTIPLE PUNCTUATION MARKS, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THEM???????????!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!??!?!
Message: Posted by: Douglas.M (Jun 18, 2009 07:51PM)
A trickster from a town we'll call Carriage
did shows that others disparaged
his wife knew the cause,
and she said without pause,
"the magic is gone from our marriage"

A strange little wizard named Vole
became obsessed with the old Benson Bowl
he inverted the thing
and started to sing
"My sponges shall conquer you all!"
Message: Posted by: Turk (Jun 18, 2009 11:22PM)
If we can only submit one entry, this is my entry:

In magic, one man found safe haven
Using an image quite eerie and graven.
Then, with mentalist flair
He let down his hair
And Max'ed out being a Maven.


If allowed to submit more than one entry, here are a few more for consideration:


To a magician who invented the Clink,
His bathwater I offer to drink.
And with the tub thus so drained,
I'd put its ring on a chain
Then wash it all off in the sink.


An ex-governor out of Chicago
Thought himself "The Incredible Blaggo".
With Substitute Trunk on the stage,
This preposterous mage
Proved he's not Charlotte's new-found Iago.


A man from the town of Vancouver
Used gravity as his prime mover.
Cards and coins he would drop,
To the floor they would plop.
That's why he invented the Hoover.


There once was a man from Des Moines
Whose hand reached into his groin.
All eyes on him focused
As he said "Hocus Pocus".
Then slowly came out with gold coins.


There once was a magician from Norway
Who performed in front of shop doorways.
The appreciative crowd,
Applauded out loud
And made a “fat hat” for his pay.


(Alternate to above:)

There once was a bumpkin from Norway
Whose magic was nowhere and no way.
Dropping cards, coins and rope.
He gave up all hope
For people to ask him to stay.


There once was a man from Nantucket
Who outpoured the milk from a bucket
"Please, watch my right palm
He declared with aplomb
And a coin from within, I will pluck it".


(Badda boom!) I'm outta here.

Mike
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 18, 2009 11:58PM)
A salute to Turk for knowing the first line usually gives a geographical reference.
Message: Posted by: 808 (Jun 19, 2009 04:13AM)
A Green looking man out of Sweden

Bemused us with laser beam dealing

But his show couldn't last

For along came Ammar

And threw all his cards on the ceiling.

xx
Message: Posted by: Jefferson (Jun 19, 2009 05:45AM)
I was once friends with this guy
Who thought he'd give magic a try
But I don't return his calls
Since he tried to cup my balls
And make his muscle pass up and down my thigh
Message: Posted by: Alan Wheeler (Jun 19, 2009 05:53AM)
As a novice who hoped to learn faster
I found tricks that were easy to master.
I still post today
At the Magic Café
But my show is a total disaster.
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 19, 2009 08:46AM)
There was a magician from Phoenix
Who only knew one or two tricks
He’d find a card lost in the deck
But when it turned out incorrect
He said, “You can all kiss my wrinkly ol’ weenus!”
(It’s a ‘Friends’ reference to the elbow…Look it up :))
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 19, 2009 11:57AM)
There once was a magician from Guam
Such skill, such charisma, such calm
Used to much flash cotton, KABOOM
Not a dry pant leg in the room
We thought it was a nuclear bomb!
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 19, 2009 12:01PM)
A variation of my earlier submittion:

There was this man from Suprise
Who'd make objects vanish before your very eyes
He called a volunteer
To help make his wand disappear
She said, "I usually get one seventy five"
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 19, 2009 12:18PM)
And now, without further ado,
a prize will be given, no...two.
could one be for me,
we'll just wait and see,
Dear David, please tell us who.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: amerigo (Jun 19, 2009 12:25PM)
A young magi from California
Told the crowd I gotta forewarn ya
Don't think or even blink
Here's a great trick called Clink
From the magical mind of David Regal


Yea Yea I know the last line don't rhyme
Message: Posted by: Jamie D. Grant (Jun 19, 2009 12:39PM)
L.A. is filled with nothing but actors,
For whom David's work decidedly factors,
into all of their scripts.
He should just come to grips,
that Magic is the art that he masters.

Hope you're well, David!

Best,

jamie
Message: Posted by: VcosNJ (Jun 19, 2009 03:17PM)
There once was a magician from LA
Named Regal and he had this to say,
"Write a limerick right now."
"Win a prize but Holy Cow!"
"Picking a winner might take more than one day." :P
Message: Posted by: hou_dini (Jun 19, 2009 05:14PM)
While bystanders stare disbelieving
A Magician with moves interweaving
His props all asunder
The crowd stares in wonder
He's a master at people deceiving
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 19, 2009 10:09PM)
I'm quite ill today
so with limericks I cannot play
my heads full of snot
I'm coughing a lot
god I hope I don't pass away

(David, if I don't make it through the night give my prize to the worse entry, thank you)
Message: Posted by: Connor J. Martin (Jun 19, 2009 10:30PM)
It would have been of good use to magellan
to have supernatural smellin'
to smell the unseen
would'lve been really keen
just like kellars daughter named hellen.
Message: Posted by: Davidicus (Jun 19, 2009 10:44PM)
There once was a magician from Kentucy
Who's pick pocketing skills were just ducky
He took my watch and my belt
A sudden breeze I had felt
If I still had my drawers on, I'd be lucky
Message: Posted by: Ruben Padilla (Jun 20, 2009 02:22AM)
It appears that I entered too late.
I saw the time and then thought, "Oh, great!"
Unless Regal is way cool,
And will forgive this old fool,
Then being a loser is my fate.
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 20, 2009 07:55AM)
>>>see post above<<<

Dear Ruben, with you I agree,
but a winner he's yet to decree,
Did we all miss the boat?
Did I read what he wrote?
Does everyone know except me?

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Max Krause (Jun 20, 2009 11:32AM)
I don't think a decisions been made.
As many a post must he wade
So here we must wait
As he decides our fate.
To see just who's prose makes the grade!
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 20, 2009 11:51AM)
What if this was all just a game,
and designed to drive us insane,
then the only one standing,
is David, demanding,
that all gigs go to him...that's just lame

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Andi Peters (Jun 20, 2009 12:14PM)
On the Café David did type
A competition to create some hype
It's free advertising
And quite unsurprising
The trick is a load of old tripe.
Message: Posted by: 808 (Jun 20, 2009 12:38PM)
Andi... tut tut... what a shame

You decided to spoil this game!

We were all having fun

And then you came along

With your bitter and jealous refrain!

xx
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 20, 2009 01:00PM)
Thanks for the entries everybody. I will re-read them all today and come up with a 1st and 2nd place. So many people put efforts into this! It has been a lot of fun for me, and I hope it's been fun for you, too.

David
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 20, 2009 01:17PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-20 14:00, David Regal wrote:
Thanks for the entries everybody. I will re-read them all today and come up with a 1st and 2nd place. So many people put efforts into this! It has been a lot of fun for me, and I hope it's been fun for you, too.

David
[/quote]

What David meant to say is:

I'd Like to thank all of those,
who submitted such colorful prose,
Now give me a break,
and I'll give you my take,
of who hit the mark right on the nose.

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: David Regal (Jun 20, 2009 04:18PM)
Hi All -

First off - it was very difficult to pick the top two out of so many strong entries. In fact, perhaps no one will agree with my picks with the exception of those who have been picked!

Thank you to those who incorporated me, my repertoire and/or my religion into your limericks. It was very flattering, but if I picked one of those as the winner I'd be considered an egomaniac! Thanks, too, to those who took the time to say something negative about me in their limericks. I can't score you as highly as those who said nice things because finding negative things to say about me is easier to do.

At the end of the day I had to rate based on a few criteria:

1) The Form - The entries should be, structurally, limericks
2) The Rhyme - I preferred perfect rhyme, but having slightly imperfect rhyme did not disqualify an entry
3) The Meter - Having tight, appropriate meter to the lines was a big plus
4) The Final Line - Entries that surprised with a final line or made a point/message in their final moments scored higher than entries in which the final line was a recapitulation of information already given. The final line of a good limerick should top what preceded it.

Again, I want to be clear that many entries were [i]excellent[/i], and I was touched, amused and flattered by those who sent in so many! My selection of "winners" is nothing more than a personal leaning.

I'm giving "honorable mentions" of a free [i]Pure Filth[/i] card trick to Cotham, for:

There was a magician quite rotten,
his conjuring skills he'd forgotten,
he tried very hard
to do ambitious card,
but his pasteboards went straight to the bottom.

...and to Jon Allen, for:

There's a count I just saw that's quite nice
But I still think I need some advice
It sounds quite absurd
How the card that was third
Was not seen but the first I saw twice

The second place award of a free Clink goes to Neil Tobin, with this entry:

**LIMITATIONS**

With magical powers, a bard
might rejuvenate those who are scarred,
clothe the cold, raise the dead,
feed the starved, but instead
most "magicians" I know just fan cards.

And the first prize award of a signed first edition of [i]Approaching Magic[/i] (it's now in its 3rd edition, so that actually means something) goes to Josho, for this limerick:

I've got several gaffs in my shoe,
My pockets have packets beaucoup,
Three wallets, five decks,
And twelve matrix effects.
'Cuz I LOVE to perform impromptu!

Josho, I picked this one of yours because there's something about it that kind of captures the limerick spirit, if that makes any sense. It's not serious, but delivers a clear point with a funny punchline. Your poem about forcing a card was excellent as well, and the wordplay there was lovely.

Please PM me with your addresses and I will get your prizes out to you. Thanks so much to those who played this little game - I wish I had ten more prizes to give out!

David
Message: Posted by: jstone (Jun 20, 2009 04:24PM)
A game in limerick pattern we did speak
All of my friends thought I was crazy this week
Next time let's try
something more wry
An entire Regal thread spoken in Greek
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 20, 2009 04:35PM)
It seem that I'm just not the best,
congrats to the winners of jest,
I thought I did well,
but oh, what the hell,
I'm left in the dust, like the rest.

peace, charlie

>>>now to de-program my mind<<<
Message: Posted by: 808 (Jun 20, 2009 04:54PM)
I feel dazed and confused, out of sorts

But remind myself "Be a good sport!"

For although there's no prize

I've just realized

This one's 50 and join 'Inner Thoughts'

xx
Message: Posted by: Review King (Jun 20, 2009 05:34PM)
Excellent choices. Kudos to the winners!
Message: Posted by: Josho (Jun 20, 2009 08:00PM)
I'm honored and delighted! What a fun contest. I didn't hold out a lot of hope, as the competition was pretty fierce.

If I’d lost, it would surely be sad to me.
If I won, would the losers get mad at me?
But no one’s thrown curses
At my humble verses.
I’d just like to thank the Academy…

--Josh
Message: Posted by: Andi Peters (Jun 20, 2009 08:08PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-16 14:20, Andi Peters wrote:
Yes, Josh should win easily with that effort.
[/quote]
See, I was right. Was the competition a fix?.....not for me to say ;-)
Message: Posted by: sal (Jun 21, 2009 12:32AM)
Great Choices David!
The one made me laugh pretty hard.
Some pretty great entries from all!!
This was a fun one!
Message: Posted by: Necromancer (Jun 21, 2009 12:43AM)
Way to go, Josh!
And thank you, David, for the Second Place honor.

Best,
Neil
Message: Posted by: Dean Dill (Jun 21, 2009 02:39AM)
Roses are Red,
Violets are blue,
I have a lawnmower,
Do you like fish?
NO?

Darn, I guess I am too late.
Dean
Message: Posted by: jstone (Jun 21, 2009 04:01AM)
There once was a man, in the Café he did lurk
I'm truly a fan, although I'll sound like a jerk
late to the game
Dill is his name
He should stop trying rhyme and keep doing coin work

:)
Message: Posted by: yachanin (Jun 21, 2009 09:13AM)
Congrats are now due to some.
The rest of us had lots of fun.
Let's go for a drink.
I'm too tired to think
And want to go lay in the sun.

Regards, Steve
Message: Posted by: Review King (Jun 21, 2009 09:52AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-21 03:39, Dean Dill wrote:
Roses are Red,
Violets are blue,
I have a lawnmower,
Do you like fish?
NO?

Darn, I guess I am too late.
Dean
[/quote]

That would have won!
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 21, 2009 12:36PM)
For crying out loud... I'm aghast
David's told us who did win at last
Can't you all just stop
This thread reaching the top
Now the deadline for entries has passed
Message: Posted by: Charlie Justice (Jun 21, 2009 01:47PM)
Just look at the entries we've made.
You'd think we were all being paid.
Will Brooks please delete,
once again, I repeat,
PLEASE DELETE THIS THREAD, it's been played

peace, charlie
Message: Posted by: Jon Allen (Jun 21, 2009 02:18PM)
I agree, can you please lock this thread
All this rhyming has gone to my head
It won't go away
There's more every day
It will continue for years I dread
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 21, 2009 03:08PM)
I'm saddened that the winner failed to meet the traditional standards of the limerick. On the other hand I'm in favor of anything that inspires a limerick contest.
Message: Posted by: Andi Peters (Jun 21, 2009 03:27PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-21 16:08, MagicSanta wrote:
I'm saddened that the winner failed to meet the traditional standards of the limerick. On the other hand I'm in favor of anything that inspires a limerick contest.
[/quote]
The judging criteria was revealed after the contest closed. As I said earlier, perhaps this was done for a reason ;-)
Message: Posted by: Angelo Carbone (Jun 21, 2009 04:08PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-21 16:27, Andi Peters wrote:

The judging criteria was revealed after the contest closed. As I said earlier, perhaps this was done for a reason ;-)
[/quote]

To be fair, all the criteria David mentioned are criteria that form up a limerick anyway. Nothing new or special was added by him. All limericks should have good rhyming and rhythm where necessary. Nothing new there. If the contest was to write a limerick related to magic and you were not sure how to write a good limerick, google is your friend. Here is one for example: http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Limerick

Absolutely certain there was no reason. Can't believe anyone would be suspicious.
Message: Posted by: Josho (Jun 21, 2009 05:01PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-21 16:08, MagicSanta wrote:
I'm saddened that the winner failed to meet the traditional standards of the limerick. On the other hand I'm in favor of anything that inspires a limerick contest.
[/quote]

It's true, I didn't start off with a name/place in the first line, as has become traditional...but David's post on the second page stated that the limerick did NOT need to conform to the name/place criteria. So I wasn't breaking any rules; I was following a stated allowance!

--Josh
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 21, 2009 05:49PM)
Just in case anyone failed to notice I was kidding about the traditional limerick statement. Man...gotta lead some people down the trail I guess...
Message: Posted by: Josho (Jun 21, 2009 06:01PM)
Oh...well, I'm from NY, I'm professionally gullible. :) But it's true, there are two ways in which my limerick wasn't traditional: no name/place in the first line, AND it was CLEAN!
Message: Posted by: MagicSanta (Jun 21, 2009 08:19PM)
It was funny though, and that counts! I feel shame for those out there who couldn't follow the dang format...next...epic poems!
Message: Posted by: funsway (Jun 28, 2009 03:40AM)
Wish I had found this thread in time,
that I might have woven in --
and can but hope you will play again
Message: Posted by: Lawrence O (Jul 14, 2009 12:46PM)
Too late for the prize but not for this one

I took a trip to Abracadabra
supposed to lead me to cornucopia.
I purchased a strange hat
from a skilled acrobat,
and the matt hat had a strange persona.

So I decided to teach that new friend;
and he learned playing games of pretend.
If you are ever blue
or have little to do;
Watch my hat, he’ll please you without end.
Message: Posted by: Wizard of Oz (Jul 15, 2009 07:16PM)
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose...

Ooops, sorry. Wrong chat room.