(Close Window)
Topic: Karma...
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 6, 2009 08:18PM)
Karma...

A friend was playing a Tulsa flea-market this weekend with
a couple grind shows. It was hot and the curiosity-seekers
were coming in small groups. In one of these small and
infrequent groups a man and his son pushed up to the show’s
attendant and handed her the admission, rushing in to see the
two-headed turtle. When the attendant counted the change
there were two nickels and two pennies…twelve cents.
Admission was fifty cents. The guy owed her eighty-eight cents!

Well, the cheapskate slipped out while she was making change
for some other paying patrons. The attendant wasn’t too happy
but oh well, that’s part of the business. In a few minutes,
she went inside to check on the two-headed turtle and found out
the jerk who had stiffed her had left his cell phone in the show.

About a half hour later the cell phone rings...
“Hello, I think you have my lost phone. Who am I talking to?”
The attendant calmly answers, “The lady you stiffed.”

In a few minutes, the owner of the cell phone shows up.
He’s holding two dollars in his hand.
He hands the attendant the two-bucks.
Without a word she hands him his cell phone.

Karma!
Message: Posted by: abigkahuna/1 (Jul 6, 2009 08:33PM)
Beautiful...
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 6, 2009 08:42PM)
And 12 cents profit...
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 6, 2009 08:47PM)
Wouldn't that be $2.12 profit?
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 6, 2009 09:05PM)
I'm not a CPA, but let's see...

Rent, costs for crew, equipment, etc. Insurance...

Probably a 50 cent admission fee is $2.74 too low. So 2.12 is 3.36 in the hole.

It goes to show why this business isn't really profitable. Sad.

And I didn't even include turtle food.
Message: Posted by: Steve_Mollett (Jul 6, 2009 09:07PM)
Hurry-hurrrry...see the amazing two headed turtle AND if you act quickly, see the amazing, dishonest MAN WITH NO BRAIN, who attempts to work a con, but leaves his cell phone behind! Again, we say, NO BRAIN!! See him and be convinced!!!..."
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 6, 2009 09:13PM)
Turtle food is the killer...two mouths to feed you know.
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 6, 2009 09:43PM)
Does each head eat half as much as a single-headed turtle?
Message: Posted by: abigkahuna/1 (Jul 6, 2009 10:20PM)
Well with my boys, Zack and Mack, Zack is the dominate head and eats more than Mack. Mack likes to hold out for the dried shrimp. That's his favorite.
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 6, 2009 10:57PM)
Enough Already!!!...Rick's my Friend but this is too much!!...When I joined this Group I was Bombarded with Who the Hell are you!!...Attacks from every angle!!..Ect.,Ect., Where the Hell is the StoneUnhinged??...Wheres Kondini??..How come Doug has not peddled Rick a Zibit??...Do I have to complain to Mgmt??...Lets wake-up people!!...Give Rick the proper intiation...He deserves a little Abuse!!...Done Talkin!!....(Sorry Rick, whats Fair is Fair...Uh..Welcome).....
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 6, 2009 11:20PM)
I think just being from the hottest freakin' state in the union is tough enough.
No offense, but I couldn't live in Texas.
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 6, 2009 11:31PM)
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.
Genral Phillip Sheridan

TAKE that Rick!!....Since Our stage Bretheran are droppin the Ball here...I'll kick it up a notch!!!....Uh...Welcome...
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 7, 2009 12:06AM)
If I couldn't take the heat...I would have never lasted
47 yrs. in this business!
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 7, 2009 12:10AM)
Rick...These Stage Guys don't know nothin about "Heat".....
Signed "Heat Merchant"...
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 7, 2009 12:24AM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-07 01:10, The Curator of the Unusual wrote:
Rick...These Stage Guys don't know nothin about "Heat".....
Signed "Heat Merchant"...
[/quote]

Please, you're not the "Heat Merchant".
Well, maybe on the Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 7, 2009 12:30AM)
Rick...you have given me sound advice over the years...I would like to give you some...However, mine could never repay you for yours tho...But here it is...

"If you want to make it to the Inner-Circle...You have to to serve up a hole bunch-A- Crap...Trust me..its the only way"
Message: Posted by: abigkahuna/1 (Jul 7, 2009 01:22AM)
This message is intended to drive up my post count...On that long road to the "Inner Circle"
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 04:15AM)
Uh Jim...We all know Rick (or should). The man's a legend and doesn't have to hang a banner sayin' so. :)

Besides, West didn't come in the swingin' doors guns a blazin' and kickin' the cat either.

But we've come to love you like a brother...hell I even considered adopting your sufferin' ass to smooth over your blanks...you know...sendin' 'care' packages of Muffins and magazines etc like we do for the troops.


Good tale Rick, thanks. What's with all the 2 headed turtles? K-Mart havin' a sale?
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 7, 2009 07:36AM)
Texas ain't the same, since they killed off the Karankawa.
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 7, 2009 08:38AM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-07 05:15, Doug Higley wrote:

Good tale Rick, thanks. What's with all the 2 headed turtles? K-Mart havin' a sale?
[/quote]

They'll soon be as plentiful as Zibits!
Thanks Doug.
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 09:38AM)
Yaeh...Fortunately my deal with K-Mart fell through...though Macy's is considering an inflatable for Thanksgiving. :)
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 7, 2009 10:33AM)
Several of my friends are musicians from the Texas Renaissance Faire. There were days here when it was a hundred degrees here and we were digging post holes and they were wearing jackets and complaining about how cold it is here.
But they still were happy to get away from the heat back home.
One of my Texan friends even has a hole worn in his bum skin from sweating all the time.
Most people don't know that we have deserts here in Washington, deserts I've spent a lot of time in, but I would still be baked like roadkill in Texas.
I respect anyone that can tolerate it full time.
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 11:36AM)
Back in the day (early 60's) was on Midway Island in the South Pacific. We (Army Security Agency) were setting up our towers to monitor the Rusky missle shots and it hit 130 degrees. On the whole island (US NAVY run) there was ONE spot with air conditioning! The theater which fortunately was open 24 hours a day. Unfortunately, it was playing 'Raisin In The Sun' continuously. I got to hate that movie. Every body hated that friggin' movie. We finally talked the projectionist into turning down the sound so we could all sleep!

Hottest show day I had was 115 in Sacramento at a flea. Ugh. Was awful...and really stupid to stay open. My Daughter got some eggs from a seller and we did fry a few on the pavement just for chuckles. Groan.

Now I'm old and hide in my room and you can stick the weather (all of it) in your ear.
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 7, 2009 01:37PM)
Actually the key is to make 3,000 posts and have 2,000 of them deleted for lack of political correctness.

[quote]
"If you want to make it to the Inner-Circle...You have to to serve up a hole bunch-A- Crap...Trust me..its the only way"
[/quote]
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 02:13PM)
Thus it does one no good to be IN the inner circle...Deleted posts, threads and personal banning (standing in the corner) await all who dally from the assigned path.
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 7, 2009 02:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-07 15:13, Doug Higley wrote:
Thus it does one no good to be IN the inner circle...Deleted posts, threads and personal banning (standing in the corner) await all who dally from the assigned path.
[/quote]

What?
No Big Prizes upon reaching the Inner-Circle?!?
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 7, 2009 02:43PM)
Not that they told us about. By the time you get there, you won't even notice. But somebody somewhere will think you know something, and treat you as a god. Except in the Gospel Magic section.
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 7, 2009 02:47PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-07 15:43, Harley Newman wrote:
Not that they told us about. By the time you get there, you won't even notice. But somebody somewhere will think you know something, and treat you as a god. Except in the Gospel Magic section.
[/quote]

I know you are just saying that so we won't find out about the secret hand-shake
and passwords of the Inner-Circle.
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 7, 2009 02:55PM)
I think that the reward for staying on here a while, and probably the biggest reason I am still here, is the friendships. Some of the best and most loyal dirtbags you could ever hope to meet are on here.
In a "Fight Club" sort of way.
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 03:33PM)
Yeah man...that be true!
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 7, 2009 04:37PM)
HEY!...The Hell with the Inner-circle...I am startin a new deal called "Dirt-Bags from the Midway"...And Rick, Doug, Kahuna and Myself are Charter-Members whether We like it or not!...So, There....
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 05:15PM)
Annual Banquet in February. Turtle/Turtle Soup...Extra Leg of Lamb...Pygmy Pancakes and a Brochet Of Miniature Horse Loin. mmmmmmm
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 7, 2009 05:21PM)
And plenty-O-Jackpots!!...Membership DOES have its Benifits...Eh Doug....
Message: Posted by: Michael K (Jul 7, 2009 06:57PM)
Can I get into the inner circle if I've read over 10,000 posts?

And as far as knowing something...I'm not smart enough to keep my hand out of a fox trap!

"One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing." -- Socrates

Professor Fountain
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 7, 2009 07:23PM)
Benefits...yep. Free Fire Engine rides and a front row seat at a Private Jam Auction.
Message: Posted by: Rotten (Jul 7, 2009 10:45PM)
Hey Curator, not all of us "Stage Guys" have always been stage guys. I earned my dues. 5 years with a thrill ride doing fairs and festivals. Two years on an outdoor amphitheater in St. Louis heat. That taught me I needed air conditioning and to be in control of the mad men. And now without Shame Doth I Perform on an air conditioned stage.
Message: Posted by: The Curator of the Unusual (Jul 8, 2009 12:45AM)
Rotten...No problem...Your in the Dirt-Bags....Now no complaining when its your turn to buy a round of Coffee at the Cookhouse....(I think Doug being a west-coast guy drinks Cappacino's)....
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 8, 2009 07:52AM)
BLECH! Doug was raised in NYC on old black Diner coffee. (just setting the record straight.)

Rotten is definately in the fold...he is a certified card carrying idiot to boot!
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 8, 2009 07:59AM)
Doug, you should really be from Pittsburgh. NYC doesn't do you justice.
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 8, 2009 09:18AM)
You think you know dirt? Ever had 'fair boogers?'
See, when you do a fair (faire, festival) in summer time (especially if you are digging post holes for a horse corral) when it's nice and dry the sand (and horse poo) that you inhale all day gets up in your nose and combines with the snot and becomes cement. You can't get the stuff out. I don't think it's possible to have a more intimate relationship with dirt than that.
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Jul 8, 2009 09:58AM)
I believe intimacy is usually associated with other orifices.
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 8, 2009 10:57AM)
Usually, but we faire folk are all deviants!
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 8, 2009 11:26AM)
Ewwww
Message: Posted by: mota (Jul 8, 2009 12:24PM)
I once checked to see if I could get the floss concession at Trader's Village in Grand Prairie, Texas.

Turns out management has all the food concessions but they told me something else interesting...they stop selling floss during the summer because it melts.

It will be a low tonight of 80.
Message: Posted by: Rotten (Jul 8, 2009 12:43PM)
Hell, I'll buy the first round. Like mine black. Can't stand sugar or cream.

Karma, or cool coincidence as I like to call it, cracks me up. I see it regularly. It's all around if you look for them. Then I have known a few rats the keep getting away with their nasty ways and yet always smell like roses. Not me. I cut a corner I get busted. Grandma said I should either be a preacher or a lawyer. She knew me well.

I've had fair boogers. A wet paper towel stuck up there to soak is a quick temp fix. Normally a shower with the stream blasting straight up the nostrils and then gently rub the outside of your nose or else the crust grabs onto the nose hairs and rips everyone of them out. So rub the outside and then using your pinky to gently massage the inside. And blow hard. Good times. I was showing in Oklahoma most of my career. Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains and up into your nose.

Will
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Jul 8, 2009 01:03PM)
Used to work at US Gypsum Co. Hardened Plaster 'plugs' formed in the nose by the end of most hours. The fun job though (NOT!)was loading/unloading the Frieght cars of 50 lb bags of RETARDER. This is a fine powder made up of rendered animal waste, hooves, skin, guts, eye balls, crap etc...dried, crushed to a fine green powder thst gets EVERYWHERE and it smells like nothing else on earth...and so do you when you worked the train cars. When that sh!t got in your nose there wasn't a shower invented that could clean it out enough.
Really gross. BUT it was better than a 'headache' if when you got home you just wanted to crash and watch the fights on TV rather than play kissy face. :)
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 8, 2009 01:10PM)
Doug, that reminds me of when I worked at the pie factory. Except there it was sugar, apple muck, and pumpkin (not as gross as animal bits though)
What sucked was that my apartment was next to the laundry room and shared utilities with it, so I never had hot water to shower.
Message: Posted by: Rotten (Jul 8, 2009 05:05PM)
Doug wins. Good god man. That's a horrible story.
Message: Posted by: critter (Jul 8, 2009 05:55PM)
And it contained the word "retarder" which should win some sort if award all by itself.
"That's the funniest word I've ever hoid!"
Message: Posted by: abigkahuna/1 (Jul 8, 2009 08:00PM)
Nothing that bad here--unloading box cars of furniture in the summer was real fun... Funny how in 115 degree heat that cardboard dust sticks to yah--but no "retarders" except for us guys unloading the box cars.

Lunch time was great, cause we all went down to the local "deli" and tried to see how many pitchers of beer we could down in a half hour lunch.... Friday afternoons were a woozy!

But I do remember relieving ourselves on the locks of tanks (yes real 60 ton tanks) to get them to open in the dead of winter there in Germany. We didn't dare waste the hot coffee in the thermos for such an endeavor...Coffee was king in those days, as well as a ciggerette. That was when you could buy a carton for under two bucks with your ration card...
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 8, 2009 09:03PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-08 21:00, abigkahuna/1 wrote:
But I do remember relieving ourselves on the locks of tanks (yes real 60 ton tanks) to get them to open in the dead of winter there in Germany. We didn't dare waste the hot coffee in the thermos for such an endeavor...Coffee was king in those days, as well as a ciggerette. That was when you could buy a carton for under two bucks with your ration card...
[/quote]

Never peed on a tank but took a whiz on an electric fence just to see what
would happen when I was a young punk. You only do that once!
Message: Posted by: trey (Jul 8, 2009 09:32PM)
Rick is the man! I have seen his one-o's at the Tulsa state fair. A class act if I say so myself!

Trey
Message: Posted by: trey (Jul 8, 2009 11:36PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-08 22:32, trey wrote:
Rick is the man! I have seen his one-o's at the Tulsa state fair. A class act if I say so myself!
[/quote]

Sorry I mean single-o.

Trey
Message: Posted by: Rick West (Jul 9, 2009 11:57AM)
Ah gosh, thanks Trey...I think I'm blushing.
(Nope...just the summer heat)
Message: Posted by: trey (Jul 9, 2009 05:58PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-09 12:57, Rick West wrote:
Ah gosh, thanks Trey...I think I'm blushing.
(Nope...just the summer heat)
[/quote]

That will do it to ya. I have been out in it myself. No fun!

Trey