(Close Window)
Topic: Performance Puns
Message: Posted by: funsway (Jun 25, 2010 06:00AM)
Here are a few pun phrases that one might have occasion to use in magic performance

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.


Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.


Practice safe eating - always use condiments.


Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.


A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.


A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.


Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.


Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.


When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.


A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.


What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.


She was en gaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.


A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.


With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.


Every calendar's days are numbered.


A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.


A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


He had a photographic memory that was never developed.


A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.


Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.


Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.


Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Message: Posted by: Jonathan Townsend (Jun 25, 2010 06:19AM)
I was going to post a Spooner about Lewis Carolls but could not even get one note out this morning.
Message: Posted by: Al Angello (Jun 25, 2010 09:41AM)
You can call it performance puns if you like, but I like to call it meaningless babble. When a magician mumbles stupid crap out of the side of his mouth during his show he is only entertaining himself. Puns are what lay people hate about magic shows. If you are going to try to be funny write some real comedy one liners, or learn to work silently PLEASE
Message: Posted by: Dreadnought (Jun 25, 2010 09:45AM)
I like some of those. I can definitely use, "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell."

Thanks.

Peace and Godspeed.
Message: Posted by: ed rhodes (Jun 25, 2010 11:49AM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-25 07:00, funsway wrote:
Here are a few pun phrases that one might have occasion to use in magic performance

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
[/quote]

It's rare to see a medium who's seance is well done
Message: Posted by: stoneunhinged (Jun 25, 2010 12:21PM)
I very much enjoy puns when reading them.

But I gotta go with Al on this one: for entertainers (heck, for nearly all public speakers, like priests, preachers, and pickle pitchers) the pun is deadly. People don't laugh, they groan. A few might smile. But belly laughs? NEVER>
Message: Posted by: gsidhe (Jun 25, 2010 02:15PM)
It's the reaction to the groan where you can get the comedy, not the actual pun itself.
They can be pulled off successfully, but it ain't easy.
Gwyd
Message: Posted by: Al Angello (Jun 25, 2010 06:11PM)
I think that puns (patter) is absolutely the worst form of immitation humor. Guys if your audience is groaning at your jokes it is because your jokes STINK.
Message: Posted by: TomKMagic (Jun 25, 2010 11:27PM)
Aldo Colombini has been pretty successful with using puns and one liners like these. There's a few others that can get away with it.

Not sure if I will use all of these, but I do like many of them.
Message: Posted by: funsway (Jun 26, 2010 07:16AM)
Part of me agrees with AL as my character would not be consistent with forced humor of any kind -- but sometimes puns are spontaneous and situational -- and well received. I remember when Victor Borge accidentally swallowed a moth on stage, broke into a grin and said, "Fast food." -- and brought the house down.

I offer these puns and just as I offer stories and poems -- if something fits your character, use it -- if not, find something better. Either way such things should be inspirational to your own creative spirit. If reading a joke or pun to yourself before going on stage puts a smile on your face it is just part of the magic.
Message: Posted by: Magnus Eisengrim (Jun 26, 2010 07:42AM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-25 19:11, Al Angello wrote:
I think that puns (patter) is absolutely the worst form of immitation humor. Guys if your audience is groaning at your jokes it is because your jokes STINK.
[/quote]

And this, of course, is why Shakespeare sucks. ;)

As Sam Johnson said of the boy, the pun "was to him the fatal. Cleopatra for which he lost the world, and was content to lose it. Let that be a lesson to us all.

John
Message: Posted by: tommy (Jun 26, 2010 08:32AM)
The Pun Generator
For all Instant pun fun!
(0) [vote for, against]

This idea is a small, pocket sized dictionary based output device. The device has three basic functions. The first function is simply a definition based function, just type in a word and the device will list all the possible definitions. This basic thesaurus idea will allow budding, yet foolish journalists to allow their imagination to create the pun.
The second function would list the chosen word in a possible sentence with the word either in or out of context.

The third major function is the one that will break down the word into the phonemes and use the syllabic sound for each of these phonemes and find a word with a similar syllabic sound. So, for example, take the word 'Beckham' which can be broken down into 'Beck' and 'ham'. The pun generator would take the word 'beck' and find similar mono-syllabic sounding words or phonemes eg. deck. Which when put in the word would create David Deckham for use with a relevant story eg. The boot throwing by Alex Ferguson. This would not only increase the quality of newspapers, but would theoretically help newspapers everywhere as the comedic value of each headline would double instantly.

Take 'The Sun', as they mainly use pun related headlines such as 'Im a liability, get me out of here!'. This would eliminate the need for useless freelancer journalists whose only use is to create these headlines, yet they cost a lot of money to hire. The money saved by newspapers by not having to hire these parasitic freelancers could be used by cutting the cost of the newspaper. For example, if 10p was cut off daily, then 70p a week and 36.40 a year would be saved!! This money could be put towards more useful purchases, such as healthier food for children, helping them grow into world-class atheletes.

Liam The Baker, May 22 2003

http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/The_20Pun_20Generator


How come Liam The Baker got no votes?
Message: Posted by: Al Angello (Jun 26, 2010 08:38AM)
John
William Shakespeare was not a cheesy magician. I see no comparison between a well written joke, and a magician mumbling irrelevant cliches out of the side of his mouth for a whole show. My show is full of well written one liners, and I tell no groaners. I'm sorry to be so disagreeable, but I started out as a stand up comedian so that I could be a funnier magician.
Message: Posted by: Magnus Eisengrim (Jun 26, 2010 08:45AM)
You know Al, there might be a funny bit in this. What if Shakespeare were a magician?

Perhaps something like [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzl6LEfouEE]Shakespearean Baseball[/url]

John
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Jun 26, 2010 09:46AM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-25 15:15, gsidhe wrote:
It's the reaction to the groan where you can get the comedy, not the actual pun itself.
They can be pulled off successfully, but it ain't easy.
Gwyd
[/quote]

Puns are easy to pull off. I think the secret is not taking yourself seriously when you crack a pun, and getting it across to your audience (maybe by your facial expression) that you are not.
Message: Posted by: Al Angello (Jun 26, 2010 09:22PM)
You can use puns if they fit, but a good one liner is far more likely to get a real laugh. IMHO
Message: Posted by: Destiny (Jun 28, 2010 11:22AM)
Victor Borge's line was funny but even more important Victor Borge was funny - everything the man said was funny - and we know he didn't go onstage with that line jotted on the back of his hand - nor did he find it in a book called 101 Puns, Be The Life of the Party... Be Prepared with a Quip for Every Occasion.

I always avoid anything I am assured will be easy to pull off for fear of looking like a w****r.