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Topic: I just got out of the hospital past Monday, for personal difficulties
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Sep 27, 2003 04:12PM)
:) I was away for a little while off and on since 8-19 (my birthday actually). I feel a little better. Just so people know and don't worry in the future because of an illness I have, every once in a while I need to be hospitalized, for possibly med changes and so on. So if ever you don't see me around, that's possibly where I may be. Not always though, because sometimes I am just too busy at times.

I'm not ashamed and shouldn't be but I have manic-depressive (bipolar) illness and it requires, for safety reasons, that I need to "go away". Anyway I won't go much deeper into that. The important thing is that I'm feeling somewhat better. It's good to be back, and I look forward to posting more in such a wonderful site.

Care always, Ed, (Eddini) :) :bluebikes:
Message: Posted by: thehawk (Sep 27, 2003 06:12PM)
Hope everything works out for you Ed, best of luck.
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Sep 27, 2003 06:23PM)
Thanks, Ed. :)
Message: Posted by: Whiterabbit (Sep 29, 2003 04:29AM)
Hi Eddini,

Sorry to hear about the illness. Bipolar disorder is nothing to be ashamed of and I'm surprised that more people don't have it given the pressures of life. As a creative person, you're probably more prone to it than most, but it is usually possible to live a relatively normal life when you know the signs. By the sounds of it, you have excellent care and are starting to know the signs. I hope you get it to a manageable stage and have a great life.

Best Wishes,
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Sep 29, 2003 01:34PM)
Thanks Kevin, I really appreciate it a lot. Yes my care is pretty good I must say. I was always a hyper child (I think I was ADHD as a kid) but it grew into just regular depression. Then in like the past five years it turned into bipolar. I was always in Emotionally Handicapped classes from like third grade until ninth grade. I calmed down a lot in high school.

You are also right about the creative piece as well, a lot of famous people (Vincent Van Gohg, Abraham Licoln, Ernest Heminhgway, Patty Duke, Tony Dow, and so on) were bipolar people too. I have Type Two of the disorder which (thank God) is a little less severe. It's hereditary in my family, Mom (depression), uncle (depression), her brother, my grandfather (bipolar), their dad, have a depressive illness. We manage okay.

Even my younger brother and sister had issues with depression too. God gives us each our cross, but as the Bible also says he doesn't give us more than we can handle (although I disagree with that sometimes). All in all I think it's true.

Thanks again Kevin, Ed, (Eddini) :) :handcuffs:
Message: Posted by: RandyStewart (Sep 30, 2003 05:25PM)
Glad to see you back at the Café. BTW, I personally have a friend who is bi-polar, other than the severe mood swings and bouts with depression, I'm not entirely familiar with it. That individual still remains one of the greatest friends I'll ever have. I do know it's experienced by, some otherwise, great people.

No sweat...

Stay on track with the treatment and keep yourself busy at work and play. Again, great to see ya back.
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Sep 30, 2003 10:25PM)
Hi Eddini,

I was impressed with your honesty about your illness on the forum. I wish you the best for your recovery and glad to see you back at the Café.

Best of luck to you! :wavey:
Message: Posted by: Al Kazam the Magic Man (Oct 2, 2003 12:46PM)
Hey Eddini,

Keep your antenna pointed up to the one who can continue to give you "Peace that Passes the Understanding of our Minds". You take care brother, and I'll be praying for you!

JoJo :righton:
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Oct 2, 2003 04:12PM)
Thanks Jojo, I try too. Crystal thanks, I try to be as honest as I can without scaring people off which can be tricky for me sometimes. Yes Randy we can have some pretty intense mood swings...we can be hard to live with and be around sometimes. For me I have the depression, more than the mania. The mania (the other extreme) is less rare. Thanks again everyone, Ed, (Eddini). :) :bluebikes: :handcuffs:
Message: Posted by: ventman (Oct 2, 2003 05:50PM)

I have a very close family member with a similar illness so I know how tough it is.

Keep hanging in there, my friend, and know you're always in my thoughts and prayers!

Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Oct 4, 2003 12:33AM)
Thanks Ventman, I will, Ed, Eddini). :) :bluebikes: :handcuffs:
Message: Posted by: Beasteau (Nov 8, 2003 06:01PM)
Ed, I'm new to the Café and can tell from the responses that you have been missed. Although I'm not bi-polar, I do have bouts of depression and anxiety. I'm glad you realize that you are not alone. Add me to your list of supporters.

I am impressed by the amount of support and kindness expressed by all these people. I think I have found a place I will enjoy visiting more than I could have imagined. By the way, my name is Edward. Fight the good fight brother man!
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Nov 8, 2003 08:58PM)
Thanks for your post, I really appreciate it. I wish you luck, and keep your chin up high. Yes the people in here are very nice, and very supportive, thanks again, Ed, (Eddini).
Message: Posted by: Bill Hallahan (Nov 9, 2003 01:29AM)
Ed, I’m glad you're back. I'll keep you in my prayers too.

I have observed your posts on here and I think you are one of the nicest, most knowledgeable, and helpful people in the Café. I wish there were more members like you.

Hang in there.
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Nov 9, 2003 04:43PM)
Thanks Bill, you are very nice too. I too, wish you well, and I'll keep you in my prayers as well. Thanks again, Ed, (Eddini).
Message: Posted by: JesterMan (Jan 14, 2004 08:53AM)

Great attitude! I wish the kids that I used to work with could hear from folks who have learned to live successfully with this, such as yourself.

The bottom line is that it is great that you aren't shamed by something that you have no more control over than if you had juvenile diabetes.

JM :jesterhat:
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Jan 14, 2004 07:38PM)
Thanks Jesterman, for your kind words. What kind of kids do you work with may I ask? I was very hyper (I think I was ADHD as a kid, but it turned into major depression at 13, then bipolar at 20-21) as a kid in elementary, and middle school, and was in special classes. Thanks, Ed.
Message: Posted by: JesterMan (Jan 15, 2004 12:20AM)
For almost four years, I worked in two residential treatment centers for kids with moderate to severe emotional problems. I also interned with the local metro area affiliate of NAMI in my last year of grad school. After I got my MSW, I focused on working with kids with similar issues in foster care, in schools, and later, I worked in domestic/child abuse prevention on a USAF base in Japan. All this from 1989-99.

Now I am working out of the field. I would still be doing it, but I got very tired of having to write about what I was going to do, do it, then write about what I did. If I could just do it, and dictate notes for someone who types or writes faster than I do, that would make it more palatable. I'd like to be a foster parent, but my roommate says that she could never give them back. I may become a "Big Brother" again. I did that from 1979-1982.

I believe that one area that I have never seen any work done on is having these kids see folks who have been successful in overcoming the challenges that the children are now facing. In 10 years of working in various capacities, I can't think of a single program that did this. NAMI has a bookmark with the names of the famous folks who had various disorders of the mind, but nothing about "real" people. (Besides, that type of focus gives folks the mistaken idea that creative people are more prone to these types of disorders due to their "sensitivities".)

Take care!
JM :jesterhat:
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Jan 15, 2004 02:13PM)
Wow, I'm very impressed with your resume. You do a lot of great work with the kids. My heart goes out to people like you.

I was "away again" for two weeks, but I am doing better. I get the winter blues. I do great in the summers because I'm so busy doing my street magic. I just need to find an indoor place in the winter.

I'm originally from Florida. I was born and raised there. I was born in Orlando Hospital, and then I lived in Sanford, and Altamonte Springs, Florida. I moved up here (New Hampshire) in 1994 when I was 18 due to my father's death. My mother was living up here since I was 10. My dad had custody of me and my younger brother and sister, (I'm the oldest).

I've had people say, "Well if you get so down and out, and hate the cold weather so much why don't you go back to Florida?" Well the reason is, is because it's been 10 years now since I've been there and I probably know very little people down there, plus all my family is up here within like a 5-10 minute drive from where I live. My family is a close support, and I'm close to them. I have good friends up here too.

For some reason since 1997, I get hospitalized every winter like three to five times. I've been hospitalized something like 30 times in total. I just get suicidal sometimes. I'll stop there, because I don't want to put out "my stuff" and possibly upset people. I do practice my magic in the winter however.

One last thing, I was 18 (just four months after my dad's death) when I was first hospitalized. Then like three times from 1994-1997. Then like 25 times from 1997-present.

Anyway enough on that. I'm feeling better. YAY!!! As I was saying jesterman, I really applaud you, and people like you, who help people like me. You are the man!!! Take Care, Ed, (Eddini).
Message: Posted by: JesterMan (Jan 16, 2004 09:22PM)
Thanks Eddini!

JM :jesterhat:
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (Jan 16, 2004 09:55PM)
Thanks jesterman. I can't log onto this site anymore except to reply. Every time I do, it says I'm banned. I can't view my private messages, or go into the sectret sessions area. I use to be on this site quite a bit. I let some jerk use my computer (jojo1985) and he wrote some negative stuff here so now my computer address is banned. Go to the tech help area, and you'll see that I try to explain myself. Now if from here I try to log on, it will just go blank and won't give me the option of staying logged on. You can email me however at: eddini1976@hotmail.com

I'll see if I can use the computer at my library to check my private messages. Thanks, Ed, (Eddini).

UPDATE: April 2, 2004

Thanks again you people are great. I'm so happy I can log in from my home now, post, and view my P.M.'s Things are well, Ed, (Eddini).
Message: Posted by: Eddini_81976 (May 13, 2007 02:31AM)
I'm still have it as it is a chronic disease but am doing fine with it, Ed, (Eddini).
Message: Posted by: Piers (May 17, 2007 02:39PM)
Best UK wishes to you, from a fellow D sufferer.