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Topic: Do you tell your wife/partner/spouse?
Message: Posted by: fballatore (Jan 21, 2013 06:10PM)
Well, I couldn't find the forum I was looking for, so I put this here...

I'm not a beginner; I've been interested in magic for many years. It's a hobby for me, but from time to time, I'll do a few tricks for family, friends, co-workers, etc. My wife has always been my (not so willing) test audience. The problem is, she always wants to "know how it's done". She knows I'm not supposed to tell her. Then she'll say, "But I'm your assistant." Let's just say that if I don't show her, she becomes a bit "less willing".

Anyway, what do you do? Do you tell?

BTW, of course I never reveal the secrets to anyone else.

Thanks!
Message: Posted by: Bandaloop (Jan 21, 2013 06:47PM)
If you don't want to live on the couch for the rest of your life, then yes. :)

Seriously, though, I think it's a personal choice. My wife knows bits and pieces but not everything. The downside of her knowing certain things is that when I show her new material I can't use her as a 100% gauge of a layperson because of the bit of stuff she does know. Think of it that way. The more your wife knows, the more she'll start looking at effects like a magician.
Message: Posted by: Josh the Superfluous (Jan 21, 2013 07:01PM)
I don't tell. But sometimes my laundry does.
Message: Posted by: Jim Sparx (Jan 21, 2013 07:50PM)
Sleeping on a couch on a three dog cold night ain't much fun. Been there, not much room for the dogs. Women usually know everything already and I've never heard of a successful marriage where the guy has secrets. They have ways of finding out about stuff. In the meantime, your on their list...be forewarned. They have ways of getting back. Like the next time you say, "There's nothing up my sleeve" - she might chime in and say, "And there's nothing in his pants."
Message: Posted by: Habbrock (Jan 21, 2013 10:10PM)
Once I feel I have a new trick down I show my wife. If she doesn't know how I did it I show her then do it again. If she can see how it's done with or without the knowledge then the trick not ready and I won't perform it. She's my biggest fan and the first to call me out if I flash anything I'm not supposed to. I feel it makes me a better performer.
Message: Posted by: Bill Hegbli (Jan 21, 2013 11:00PM)
Of course you share your secrets with your assistant/wife, you are a team and a team always works together. Tell her you are taking into your confidence and she will work with you for your audiences.

Happy wife, Happy life!
Message: Posted by: gomerel (Jan 21, 2013 11:12PM)
I tell in general terms and sometimes show.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 22, 2013 05:17AM)
My wife is also a magician with her own shows! What often happens is that she decides on what will take place during the show and then she comes to me to show her options for making it happen. After 13 years as a performer, she is a great resource her self.
Message: Posted by: lambretta1963 (Jan 22, 2013 07:19AM)
My other half is pretty good herself. She can make cash & chocolate disappear faster than anyone.
Seriously, I try all my new stuff out on her first. Harsh critic but that's good.
Message: Posted by: professorwhut (Jan 22, 2013 09:55AM)
My wife does not want to know...does not care...does not want to see any more magic.
Message: Posted by: ralphs007 (Jan 22, 2013 02:13PM)
Hi
I never tell her. I think it would rob her of the mystery.
Message: Posted by: DWRackley (Jan 22, 2013 03:42PM)
Several good opinions here, most of which I subscribe to. I'm WILLING to explain to my wife IF she seems interested. One serious problem a married magician has is that the spouse is the FIRST person you test on, and they may get really tired of it. For this reason, I didnít show my wife anything at all for a very long time.

Nowadays both of my pre-teen sons are interested in magic as well (My 12 year old just performed for the local IBM Ring), and HE has no compunctions against a quick ďHey, Mom! Look at this!Ē

Of course my wife is a very intelligent woman, and can usually backtrack how it MIGHT have been done (sheís usually correct). Now that both boys are about to become associate members, sometimes we sit down as a family and talk about the principles of magic, and maybe Iíll demonstrate how a particular gimmick might be used.

And occasionally Iíll see my beautiful and creative wifeís inventive mind simply fail to grasp a principle. Itís a lot to think about and, letís face it, we donít (generally) think in the same way as other people, whether by training or by mental issues. :jump:


Overall, Iíd say the safest answer is to ďBe gentleĒ. If she asks, Iíd give, at least until she gets bored.
Message: Posted by: Siekomagic (Jan 23, 2013 03:34AM)
I have always shared little bits and pieces with my other half. Over time she has learned what to look for, which I see as a plus because she can point out little things that I may have missed. She is very supportive of my magic and always willing to watch something new.
Message: Posted by: bowers (Jan 23, 2013 06:43PM)
We are a team.
Message: Posted by: Ihop (Jan 23, 2013 10:04PM)
Once I feel confident, I show my wife.
She never wants to know how it's done.
She says it takes all the fun out of it.
Message: Posted by: Illusionist (Jan 25, 2013 02:22AM)
If I show a trick or an illusion to anyone I make sure I'm ready to show it. I take secrets to the grave.
Message: Posted by: maxnew40 (Jan 25, 2013 02:21PM)
Yes I share many of the secrets with my wife. She is really interested in the methods used. If she didn't care I woudn't bother but she does care. Keeping any kind of secrets from your wife is usually not a good idea. I have been married for 23 years now and that thinking has worked well for me.

-Max
Message: Posted by: ralphs007 (Jan 25, 2013 03:06PM)
[quote]
On 2013-01-25 03:22, Illusionist wrote:
If I show a trick or an illusion to anyone I make sure I'm ready to show it. I take secrets to the grave.
[/quote]
A man after my own heart !
Message: Posted by: bowers (Jan 25, 2013 04:44PM)
Not having any magician friends around it helps
by her knowing how it is done.She can then watch
as I perform a effect and see if I flash while i
perform a effect.
Todd
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jan 27, 2013 07:37PM)
I don't know that I tell her, but she sees it so much and so often that sooner or later she figures it out.
Message: Posted by: Gord (Jan 28, 2013 01:44AM)
My wife does not want to know...but she loves magic and loves me to show things I am working on and she is always ready to tell me if I am flashing or give me great suggestions to improve.
Message: Posted by: Countage (Jan 29, 2013 09:22AM)
Show her Paul Curry's Out of this World and ask her how she did it?
Message: Posted by: Wizard of Oz (Jan 29, 2013 08:37PM)
Nice.
Message: Posted by: Robertology (Jan 30, 2013 11:24AM)
I don't tell my wife everything right away. If she's enjoying the mystery of it, I don't want to take that away. But eventually, that subsides a bit and if she wants to know, I'll share. This, then, gives us something more to share between us. We stayed up for hours one night doing color changes. She got pretty good at it, actually! And we had a great time together.

At first I didn't want to tell her but she is my partner in life, we were joined as one, we're supposed to share everything and keep no secrets (and you know she brought all that up). It's really been better that way.
Message: Posted by: Wizard of Oz (Jan 30, 2013 07:21PM)
My wife is a strong, prideful woman who hates to be fooled. I know I've done an effect right when she gets angry, and insists I tell her how I did it...or else. I've never wanted to discover the meaning of "or else."
Message: Posted by: Curtis Alexander (Feb 6, 2013 01:40PM)
Interesting question. I'm single at the moment but have dealt with it in the past and chose not to tell them, but these relationships weren't as serious as being married. I wouldn't want to tell my wife everything because it would ruin the mystery for her, but perhaps telling her the general principles could ease her curiosity while still making some of the more mysterious effects that much more amazing to her. Just a thought.
Message: Posted by: slyhand (Feb 6, 2013 06:31PM)
My wife never wants to know. She enjoys the mystery and it makes her feel young again.

My son of 22 is a different story.
Message: Posted by: Andy Tauber (Feb 6, 2013 09:12PM)
I generally don't tell. I don't show a routine until I think it is ready. I will do the entire routine for her and ask for comments. Then I will preform the trick a few times at various speeds to see if she can spot how it is done.
Message: Posted by: Andy Tauber (Feb 6, 2013 09:13PM)
I generally don't tell. I don't show a routine until I think it is ready. I will do the entire routine for her and ask for comments. Then I will preform the trick a few times at various speeds to see if she can spot how it is done.
Message: Posted by: wwhokie1 (Feb 8, 2013 07:36PM)
She has never asked so I never told. But usually I try it out on others first, occasionally her.
Message: Posted by: Dr Weevil (Feb 9, 2013 04:07AM)
My girlfriend doesn't want to be told... but, she's extremely good at backtracking & working out methods. So her reactions provide great feedback!
Message: Posted by: powerwords (Feb 9, 2013 11:22AM)
I sometimes tell my wife when constructing a routine, just to get suggestions on the presentation. she sometimes ask about all the dirty works behind the magic. and I don't mind telling her, she'll forget eventually. but I get a lot of good ideas for performance from her.
Message: Posted by: malamoney (Feb 10, 2013 04:29PM)
My wife tries to figure everything out. Well, I'm sure many do, but for her, she's not really interested in being entertained. She just wants to say "I know how you did that. Or I saw you do...."

She is no fun at all to perform or practice for...
Message: Posted by: joesquire (Feb 11, 2013 12:34AM)
She says "I saw when you peeked the card"

I say "really? When?

She tells me when I got my peek

I say "what did I flash? What do I need to clean up?"

She says "Oh I didn't see anything, you just looked sneaky at that point"

I think, OK... More practice needed...


Harsh critic.
Message: Posted by: DavidKenney (Feb 11, 2013 02:38PM)
My wife and I have full disclosure. I tell her how tricks are done and she tells me what's in the casserole and what she bought at the mall
Message: Posted by: Veirs (Feb 12, 2013 07:54AM)
My wife usually figures everything out by herself, she doesn't really see the tricks as laypeople do.
(She has read a book or two written by Liu Qian on magic techniques so that probably helps her too)
If I can stump her though, I know that trick is a keeper as shes usually able to catch others as well

Shes much better than a mirror as she is so incredibly picky and critical.
Her feedback is usually very constructive and helpful so its better for me in the long run.
She gets the test run of a new trick before I bring it outside of the house.
Sometimes she asks me not to tell her how its done as she enjoys that magic feeling quite a bit.

Overall, I don't mind letting her in on it when she wants to be.
I can get some points and tips from a safe / trustworthy outside perspective that have at times really improved my performance.
We are both working performers. I do the magic shows and she does the belly dancing shows.

sorry to go on a mini tangent, my wife has been a huge supporter of my hobby/job.
Message: Posted by: joesquire (Feb 13, 2013 06:23PM)
Your comments struck a chord with me, Veirs. I agree totally!

It's so important to be able to show tricks to "non-magicians" because that's who we're supposed to be performing for
Message: Posted by: silvercup (Feb 13, 2013 07:13PM)
Never tell a secret to a woman.
Message: Posted by: SWiCh (Feb 14, 2013 03:24PM)
As with many of you, I practice new tricks/routines on my wife, and she is constructively critical with my presentation, which is great (helps a lot with angle issues!).

I reveal certain things to her, but if she really got fried, then I (and usually, she) would rather keep the mystery (unless the couch is threatened of course!).
Message: Posted by: ZoOpDoG (Feb 17, 2013 01:55AM)
My wife hate when I tell her how a trick works. I will normally only show her if I need her to focus on what I see is a potential weak spot or a trick we sell. (she has to understand the ones we sell) I consider her an assistant.
Message: Posted by: Motley Mage (Feb 19, 2013 08:31AM)
Like many, my wife is my best first audience. She is eagle-eyed and honest. She also truly HATES to be fooled, so I know I have done well when I make her angry. Then I tell her the secrets and show her again. If I STILL fool her, I know the effect is neatly stage-ready. There is no one on Earth I would trust more with my secrets, though. She would never tell, nor is she one to blurt out, "I know how that's done!" when watching another performer.
Message: Posted by: Dea7h (Feb 19, 2013 10:42AM)
I reveal my first trick and tell her that she has to figure out the other tricks by her own cuz I won't tell the secret.
She understood that it was even more enjoyable when she doesn't know how it was done.
Message: Posted by: daxma6270 (Feb 20, 2013 10:06AM)
Don't tell her. but if I were you id get cable set up in the dog house
Message: Posted by: jarro_2783 (Feb 21, 2013 08:54PM)
I've already made my wife sick of it and I've only been talking about magic non stop for two weeks.

Seriously though, she's happy for me to show her tricks, and I can satisfy her curiosity sometimes and I know she's sufficiently uninterested to go blabbing. Of course I trust her not to ruin my secrets anyway.

I see that there are two sides to the coin. On one hand, if you don't tell anything she becomes representative of your potential audience, and might be good to practice with. On the other hand, if she knows all the tricks and you still fool her, then you know it's ready.
Message: Posted by: RobertPaulson (Feb 22, 2013 12:12AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-11 15:38, DavidKenney wrote:
My wife and I have full disclosure. I tell her how tricks are done and she tells me what's in the casserole and what she bought at the mall
[/quote]

Lol! Thanks man. Needed a laugh.

Regarding OP's post... If you're gonna get into magic seriously, she's gonna find out. You're gonna find yourself in a hotel together between gigs resetting your props, or packing before going out on gigs, and she's gonna see stuff. Might as well take a load of stress off yourself and just have the "if anyone asks, just say you don't know" chat.

Also... If she knows your secrets... It gives a bit more incentive to make the relationship work. I let my girlfriend know stuff, and now we're engaged.

As of yesterday.

This hasn't sunk in fully yet.

I forgot what we were talking about. Please repeat the question.
Message: Posted by: ShirtlessKirk (Mar 15, 2013 10:25PM)
If your wife is an unwilling spectator/participant unless you reveal methods I would just refrain from performing/testing material in front of her. I see no problem with keeping secrets when it concerns methods in magic from a significant other that is not themselves a magician. Hell, I don't even like revealing methods to other magicians.
Message: Posted by: george1953 (Mar 16, 2013 12:01AM)
I always test out my routines on my wife, she knows much about magic. We used to do a two person mind reading act together, she was also a member of a magic society. I find because she knows a lot about the subject she can offer constructive critisism. If I am trying to come up with a storyline she is much better at it than I am, so I let her do it for me.
Message: Posted by: RogueTxn (Mar 16, 2013 01:36PM)
Such an interesting thread. My wife of 21 years could care less about magic in general. She looks on it with a bit of dislike I think. That being said I've shown her effects from time to time. I do know that when I run across something that she actually enjoys or smiles at I've got something killer in hand! On the other hand, I've two daughters 18 and 19 years old. I don't tell em the secrets but they make pretty good test audiences.

~Rogue

PS as to what DavidKenney said...are you sure you want to KNOW what's in the casserole? Sometimes ignorance is bliss...
Message: Posted by: tjaymagic (Mar 17, 2013 11:27PM)
A close friend of mine is usually the first person I perform to, and if the trick isn't angle proof then I do tell him how it's done so that they know what to look for if something gets flashed.

There are some tricks he doesn't want to know how are done, which is cool too, although the problem I have got now is that various props are disappearing and I am finding he is performing them... DOH!

It does help though if the spouse/partner/close friend also has a genuine interest in magic as they can look at the effect as both magician and layperson.

Best example for this was that I needed a piece of music for my Zombie Ball routine, and it was him that picked it out!
Message: Posted by: BigWheel (Mar 18, 2013 08:56AM)
I just share the principal to my other half. She wants to know, but is content knowing that sleight of hand, card forcing, etc. is the basic principal. She doesn't want to know the detail to reproduce the effect,but is interested in the underlying principal. And in return, she is my test audience before showing things to a broader audience.
Message: Posted by: flash90 (Mar 20, 2013 10:21AM)
As with most here, my girlfriend is usually the first person who I demonstrate an effect to. That said, I will never demonstrate anything that I am not comfortable with and have practiced on my own until it's perfect.

I may be one of the lucky ones (edit: I KNOW I am!) but she has never expressed an interest in knowing, she's satisfied in keeping some of the mystery there!
Message: Posted by: ablanathanalba (Mar 21, 2013 11:39AM)
My wife is always curious and fascinated, but respects it if I say I don't want to reveal this or that. She likes Invisible Deck so much that I can never tell her that one. My daughter is proving to be more of a problem, as she wants to know all the time.
Message: Posted by: Magic Pierre (Mar 21, 2013 01:00PM)
My wife has to know how something is done, and it infuriates her when I won't tell. AND she says she doesn't like magic. In Vegas, while my buddy and I were seeing Mac King she and her girlfriend were at Tim Allen.

So now I just don't do anything FOR her, only AROUND her (for others), and I keep my magic purchases to myself.
Message: Posted by: 1KJ (Mar 27, 2013 02:45AM)
My wife usuaally doesn't want to know. However my daughter does. I have found that I have a steonger relationship with my daughter if I share how its done. However, fist, I make her work for it (i.e. how do you think it could be done?) And second, she can't share with her friends.
Message: Posted by: psychod (Mar 31, 2013 10:25AM)
My wife used to drive me crazy asking me how I did certain things. For her birthday one year, I told her she could pick any two effects and I'd tell her how I did them. She was really shocked with how simple the 'secrets' were. She originally was amazed that anybody could be fooled by something so simple until I reminded her that she was! She has gotten better now and still proves to be a pretty good test audience as she's always watching my hands and trying to catch me at something.
Message: Posted by: Philip Busk (Mar 31, 2013 08:27PM)
All my gaffs, books, etc are sitting in our room so there really are no secrets...
Message: Posted by: rklew64 (Mar 31, 2013 09:40PM)
My wife and other family members are not go to people, they are much too jaded and I probably would be disinterested if I was inundated with magic every week, let alone by a 30 to 40 something. At some point, you want constructive criticism that is educated and thoughtful, not someone who will just say something not to hurt your feelings. Being a co-dependent to a delusional crappy magician is a worst dis-service to that person and to magic.
Message: Posted by: shaihorowitz0 (Apr 1, 2013 12:44PM)
I'll show my girlfriend really simple moves like the french drop for coins and that makes her content to not know the mored advanced ones that can really build an illusion.
Message: Posted by: MagisterFreud (Apr 2, 2013 11:10AM)
If she's your assistant, I say tell her-- if she can keep the secret. If she's not your assistant, then no. I tell mine that IBM rules prohibit me from telling anyone, and so far she has accepted this.
Message: Posted by: James Kellogg III (Apr 10, 2013 07:50PM)
If she is your wife just tell her so you don't end up on the couch
Message: Posted by: The Amazing Pog (Apr 11, 2013 03:49AM)
My wife isn't as interested in magic as I am, but still watches the odd trick patiently. Of course, she then usually wants to know how it's done, but respects it if I don't. All my books are on the shelf if she gets really interested. However, mentalism is a different story. She really wants to know that stuff, not that I do much (yet) - and is interested enough to watch/read for herself :)
Message: Posted by: MartiniMagic (Jul 1, 2013 12:46PM)
I try out most of the new stuff on my wife. I don't tell her the secret but if she figures it out I tell her she is correct. She is much better at figuring them out than I am but that is not saying much as I am not good at figuring out tricks at all.
Message: Posted by: Xaerius (Jul 7, 2013 10:08AM)
I find it hard not to let her know the secrets when I keep practicing on her. :P

Nigel
Message: Posted by: Herr Brian Tabor (Jul 13, 2013 04:47PM)
My wife knows as much magic as I do. She doesn't do magic, but it's helpful because she will occasionally suggest a different sleight or concept that improves my work, and gives me a better understanding of an effect I'm trying to improve. I have someone outside the box, so to speak, that can give me a critical and honest opinion.
Message: Posted by: Herr Brian Tabor (Jul 14, 2013 01:54AM)
Honestly, I think it's fine for your wife. Now your girlfriend of 3 months no, lol. But eventually, if you're married, and make her watch your stuff over and over, she'll catch on anyway.
Message: Posted by: Mago! (Jul 15, 2013 03:22PM)
[quote]
On 2013-01-21 23:10, Habbrock wrote:
Once I feel I have a new trick down I show my wife. If she doesn't know how I did it I show her then do it again. If she can see how it's done with or without the knowledge then the trick not ready and I won't perform it. She's my biggest fan and the first to call me out if I flash anything I'm not supposed to. I feel it makes me a better performer.
[/quote]

I'm the same way. Also sleeping on a couch sucks! Hah!

Seriously though, she is my partner in crime, er, well, magic! She knows how 90% of my routines operate, however when I'm performing for friends, mine or hers, or any member of the public. They always seem to turn to her and ask "Does he tell you how this works?!" However, she always calmly replies with the classic "Can you keep a secret?" or even better "No, he doesn't tell me, I like to be in awe and wonderment. If he tells me, it takes the fun out of it for me."
Message: Posted by: morro3 (Jul 16, 2013 11:56AM)
[quote]
On 2013-07-01 13:46, MartiniMagic wrote:
I try out most of the new stuff on my wife. I don't tell her the secret but if she figures it out I tell her she is correct. She is much better at figuring them out than I am but that is not saying much as I am not good at figuring out tricks at all.
[/quote]

Same exact situation at my house. If she figures it out on her own I simply must tell her that she was correct. If she does so after the first performance I also know that I must practice it some more or change something in the handling ;)

cheers
Message: Posted by: ssibal (Jul 16, 2013 04:50PM)
I don't tell her anything, and she doesn't ask beyond the token "how did you do that?"
Message: Posted by: John Jerde (Aug 25, 2013 09:48PM)
I tell her everything. She helps me by checking out angles and what not.
Message: Posted by: jcrabtree2007 (Aug 26, 2013 12:10PM)
My wife is my video camera. Checking angles and such. I break the golden rule of magic- never perform the same effect twice- for her all the time. I don't tell her how the trick is done. She will try different angels and see if she can catch me. That helps me know my angels and such better. Sometimes she says, "i don't know how you do that, but it looked fishy when you did this". Or she sees some tell in my performance.
When she is close, or burnt out, I'll let her in on the mystery. She has earned that after 100 viewings or so.
Still, there are other effects that I perform where she has no clue how I do it and she prefers to keep the mystery with those.
Message: Posted by: John Jerde (Aug 26, 2013 02:17PM)
Jctabtree. I like the 100 times idea. Lol.
Message: Posted by: Rook (Sep 4, 2013 04:34PM)
My wife is the first person to see my newest effects. Sometimes, it's done badly so the secret becomes fairly obvious. Occasionally, she'll want to know how it's done, and yes, I'll tell her.

Most often, however, she asks me not to tell her...especially if she likes the trick. To this day, she remains ignorant of the sleights behind the cups and balls. She wishes to hold on to that sense of wonder.

My youngest daughter, however, is another matter altogether. She's 6 now, but last year, we had this conversation:

"Daddy, will you teach me your magic tricks?"
"I think I should wait until you're a little older for some of these."
"Why?"
"I need to be sure that you can keep the secrets."
"Oh, I can keep secrets! When I break your stuff, I hide it under the couch so you won't get mad!"
"You...what?"
"Never mind."

Then, she left.

I wondered if that was all an act. If so, perhaps I should put her on stage. Looking under the couch, however, dispelled my happy illusion...and located the TV remote in several pieces.

-Tom
Message: Posted by: Tenacitiz (Sep 5, 2013 02:31AM)
I always use my wife to test new effects by its a huge challenge to entertain her with them. Se doesn't ask how things are done but will be able to wrk out 90% of what she sees anyway. If she can't she holds on to that mystery happily. In fact she's always commenting on how I've ruined magic for her forever. A few weeks ago we having a meal at a New York themed restaurant and they had a table magician. He performed a great little set and I really enjoyed it but I could see his confusion when she simply smiled at having a handful of sponge bunnies. If you do it you'll know what a reaction this gets. Don't get me wrong she was a great spectator and helped everywhere required but I felt a profound sadness watchingher at the simple fact that my love of magic has eroded her sense of childlike wonder.
Message: Posted by: Rook (Sep 5, 2013 09:23AM)
Yeah, my "test audience" consists of my wife, who is very good at constructively critiquing my performance, while often playing the role of "nightmare volunteer" (you know the one that seeks to foul your equivoque)

My son (18) whose Asperger's provides the unique perspective of not being easily entertained by interaction, but loves to work out puzzles. If he enjoys an effect, it's a probably a winner.

My youngest daughter (6) who gives me the experience of what it might be like to perform the effect in front of energetic youngsters.

My Oldest daughter and her husband, who give me the perspective of people who simply enjoy magic.

If they all like the effect, not only is it a winner, but a contender.

-Tom
Message: Posted by: Revel Rob (Sep 17, 2013 11:46AM)
At the beginning, she begged and begged to know the secrets, so I explained a few simple ones but only 1 every week or so and only if she asked.
Before explaining the first one, I told her that I can't erase her memory so as to explain that the sense of wonderment surrounding that 1 trick would be lost forever once she knew the secret.
She understood that right away and now tries to either figure them out for herself by watching many times as I perform for many different spectators, or until she can't take it anymore and begs again. I do then explain because I remember that although the feeling of amazement is a good one, there is that little bit of "ARGHH!!! WHY DOES IT HURT MY HEAD!?" that a layperson can cure with time (they only see it once and eventually forget about it), but a wife/gf can't because they are constantly reminded of the trick by always seeing it performed.
Mentalism is a different story in my opinion because my presentation of a mentalism effect is that I read "tells" and can know what a person is thinking by merely asking them some questions and knowing what the answers are without them actually saying anything. At first, it was fun making her think that she couldn't lie to me about anything because I would be able to tell, but after a few months, I revealed to her that there was always a "trick" with them by explaining some simple concepts. I may not want her to lie to me, but I do want her to feel like she has the freedom to do so if she wanted to.
Message: Posted by: heybobby08 (Sep 18, 2013 09:13AM)
I usually practice the trick for my better half. She has yet to ask me how I have done of the the tricks I have done, but if she ever does I will most likely tell her indirectly, or just show the trick again and see if she can figure it out. She enjoys trying to solve problems though
Message: Posted by: boboswitch (Jul 25, 2014 12:26AM)
My wife helps my magic. She forces me to find new ways to make delivered packages disappear before she notices they
have arrived. She also wonders why I insist on paying the credit card bill every month.
Message: Posted by: Eldini (Jul 25, 2014 09:57AM)
I don't tell my wife but I do show her things when I feel they are ready. She has been a good sport about being honest if the move needs work.
Message: Posted by: Kbuck54 (Jul 25, 2014 03:10PM)
My wife doesn't want to know how I do the effects. She wants to keep her wonder.
Keith Shazam
Message: Posted by: MGordonB (Jul 25, 2014 06:05PM)
My wife has gotten more easy going of late. She used to want to know the secrets involved. But then she realized that many of the secrets are in fact kind of dumb and knowing them detracted from the enjoyment of the trick. I do practice with her and try stuff out on her, so she eventually figures it out anyways.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Jul 25, 2014 10:57PM)
I've been married three times. I remember my first wife, who also was my assistant , getting very hurt when II wouldn't tell her a secret. We got divorced.

My second wife always wanted to know, and I never told her. She died.

My third wife was extremely perspicacious. It was quite difficult too fool her . We are separated.

So all in all I would have to conclude that if you want to get rid of your wife, magic secrets are an excellent way to do it.
Message: Posted by: magic_man_jim (Jul 29, 2014 12:07PM)
This is very interesting thread to see the difference in so many relationships.

Personally I let my fiance in on the secrets and she has also been my assistant for many of shows.

Coming from a long relationship with her I know that in the beginning when we were dating and much yonger I did not share magic with her besides showing her along with others routines.

Years later she confronted that she was interested in my magic and felt that if she was going to be with me that she wanted to know more about what I do. Along with that she felt like magic was taking time away from her with all the time and money I put into it.

So along with many other posters I have seen it's 2 fold. If I want to continue to do magic and keep a relationship there has to be a place we meet in the middle. I share my magic with her and let her know all she wants to. Then of course there are times she could care less and doesn't want to see another deck of cards.

She is in for it now however. I have been away from performing for a while do to other personal reasons but have hit back into it with vengeanc. So we will see how she acts now
Message: Posted by: mndude (Jul 31, 2014 09:48AM)
This discussion reminds me of the hilarious scene from LadyKillers when one of the criminals brought his girlfriend along with him to their group's top secret meeting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw-OxIg0V9M
Message: Posted by: dave_matkin (Jul 31, 2014 01:24PM)
[quote]On Jan 21, 2013, Jim Sparx wrote:
Sleeping on a couch on a three dog cold night ain't much fun." [/quote]

Hi, I know its and old thread and an old post.... but ...

I have never heard the phrase "a three dog cold night" before. What's it mean and where did it come from?

Cheers!
Message: Posted by: Kbuck54 (Jul 31, 2014 01:48PM)
So cold that it take cuddling up with three dogs to keep warm.
Keith Shazam
Message: Posted by: vianns (Aug 6, 2014 05:29PM)
My GF is my first audience for every trick I learn. Sometimes, when I think I'm ready to show the routine to other people, I ask her if she wants to know the trick. Sometimes she really wants to know, sometimes she doesn't. :)