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Topic: Never Trust the Living
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Apr 28, 2018 07:57AM)
The Dead will play pranks on you, like sitting up in the coffin, coming back alive, or passing gas during the visitation, but the Dead will never lie to you! If you want to test this theory, just walk up to the coffin and whisper in the cadaver's ear, "What are you doing?" They will always say, "Nothing!" The living, however, can't be trusted and will lie to you about everything and anything. For example:

I was driving by a church in my locale and the sign said, "Worship service 0 AM." At first, I thought it was a mistake or the wind had blown the first numeral off the sign until I looked at the other side and it said the same thing. "What time is 0 AM?" That time doesn't exist, there is no such hour as 0 AM. You go from 12:59 PM to 1 AM. Then I also noticed the Everyone Welcome! sign posted on the chain that prevented entry into the parking lot and the two "No Trespassing or Parking!" signs.

I have listened to all of the 'gun-free" zone hype that says, "Gun-free zones are safe places." Then, I go to my Veteran's Administration clinic, which is a "gun-free" zone (no knives either) and notice this ultra safe place has bullet-proof glass over the pharmacy window, with a slot to give your identification and a separate door to open to get your meds.

Later, I was driving down the road and noticed a sign in the median that read, "Flu Shots Here!" I'm thinking, "Where?" How long will I have to stand in the median before someone came out to give me a flu shot? I'll never know for sure because after waiting 30 minutes, and no one showed up, so I left.

Maybe I should give the living a break because this generation eventually isn't as intelligent as my generation; may be all the air pollution from the paper mill that said that their emissions wouldn't have an odor, but waters your eyes every time it is cloudy. I say this because in my neighborhood there are stop signs on the sidewalks telling you to stop before crossing the road. We always knew that and didn't need a sign to remind us. And, at the medical clinic the sinks are labeled, "Hand Washing Sink!" I thought the doctors would probably know, but I must be mistaken on the higher education hype. Again, lied to.

Anyway, if you have any examples you are invited to post them here.
Message: Posted by: Philemon Vanderbeck (Apr 28, 2018 12:03PM)
My math class . . . any given day.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Apr 28, 2018 03:03PM)
[quote]On Apr 28, 2018, Philemon Vanderbeck wrote:
My math class . . . any given day. [/quote]

Be thankful you never taught my son. He would not say that 0+0=0; it had to be 2 zeros. He would agree that nothing + nothing equals nothing though.