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Topic: Important information, please read
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Oct 11, 2018 03:03PM)
Did you know that a school of Piranha can strip a small child's body to the bone in less than 30 seconds?

BTW, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Message: Posted by: IAIN (Oct 11, 2018 03:17PM)
I wondered where my small child went...
Message: Posted by: George Hunter (Oct 11, 2018 08:16PM)
Surely, an upstanding respectable aquarium would give you a second chance.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Oct 11, 2018 08:23PM)
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, George Hunter wrote:
Surely, an upstanding respectable aquarium would give you a second chance. [/quote]

Nope, but once the story made national news I did get an offer from the Gambino Family in Chicago.
Message: Posted by: Jack Straw (Oct 11, 2018 08:28PM)
Will, no offense, but that's a pretty ambiguous statement.

A school of piranha can consist of between a minimum of 10 little darlings and max out at several hundred.

So how large a school was it?
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Oct 11, 2018 08:32PM)
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, Jack Straw wrote:
Will, no offense, but that's a pretty ambiguous statement.

A school of piranha can consist of between a minimum of 10 little darlings and max out at several hundred.

So how large a school was it? [/quote]

It was a kindergarten school of piranha, about a dozen. So young they didn't know how to frenzy so I had to dip the kid twice.
Message: Posted by: Jack Straw (Oct 11, 2018 08:34PM)
Now it's been put in perspective, Will.

Thanks a lot!
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Oct 11, 2018 08:37PM)
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, Jack Straw wrote:
Now it's been put in perspective, Will.

Thanks a lot! [/quote]

But to further put it in perspective, it was a very small child.
Message: Posted by: The Curator (Oct 12, 2018 05:48AM)
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, weepinwil wrote:
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, Jack Straw wrote:
Now it's been put in perspective, Will.

Thanks a lot! [/quote]

But to further put it in perspective, it was a very small child. [/quote]

But tasty...
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Oct 12, 2018 07:48AM)
[quote]On Oct 12, 2018, The Curator wrote:
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, weepinwil wrote:
[quote]On Oct 11, 2018, Jack Straw wrote:
Now it's been put in perspective, Will.

Thanks a lot! [/quote]

But to further put it in perspective, it was a very small child. [/quote]

But tasty... [/quote]

No sauce required.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Oct 12, 2018 08:25AM)
I feel I owe an explanation to my woes.

I didn't have anything to do, so I was touring the aquarium one weekend and noticed there were a lot of fish but not many customers, so I suggested that for a meager investment I could help by doing a weekly three-act magic show. They agreed, and so I bought a "You can do Magic!" DVD from e-bay, which contained a few easy to do tricks. At least that was what the ad said.

I did okay with the cigarette up the nose and the "which hand" effect, but they were not happy when I made a customer's 100 dollar bill disappear and couldn't return it because I had been busy that week and only had time to learn half of the trick. However, they kept me on since I promised to do the reappearance of the bill the next week, which required the customer to return and pay an additional admittance for the aquarium.

People were starting to jeer and make fun; I guess they were getting a bit bored, so I had a great idea to do a water chamber effect. I studied for weeks and thought I had the effect down, but not being from the Amazon or ever visiting there, I thought the piranha were just small ugly fish. It would be a perfect match since the kid was a small ugly child. You can imagine my surprise when I put the child in the tank and all of a sudden the waters foamed and the kid was gone faster than you could say abracadabra, well all but the bones. At first the people applauded because they initially thought it was like the 100 bill trick and I was going to make the kid reappear, but once I explained that wasn't part of the trick they fired me.

Just doesn't make sense they pay people to feed the fish and fire me because I did.

Next week I am applying for a gig at the Fireman's Ball and plan to do some pyrotechnic effects, if I can find a DVD.
Message: Posted by: Delimbeau (Oct 12, 2018 09:21AM)
May be you can burn a dvd at the Ball 😬
Message: Posted by: Slim King (Oct 12, 2018 01:11PM)
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :sun:
Message: Posted by: pieaddict (Oct 17, 2018 12:17PM)
This has cheered me up
Message: Posted by: Bogbadger (Oct 17, 2018 04:40PM)
I had a summer job working in a pet shop that sold tropical fish in my youth. My friend had worked there for years. To show off to girls he liked he would clean the inside glass of the piranha tank by hand to show how brave he was. The tank was full of young piranha who didnít yet have big enough mouths to get any kind of grip and so would swarm around his hand doing no damage at all. One day towards the end of the summer a group of girls came in and he headed over to the piranha tank. Just as the girls walked past he found out that one of the piranhas had grown just that bit bigger and was was finally able to get its jaws open wide enough! I can still hear his scream ringing in my ears! 🐠