THAT is why the kids in Utah are well behaved. Unlike the barbarians in the tri-state region on the East Coast.
Steve V <----a simple 'no' works

One thing we should keep in mind here is a point that has not really been discussed in detail so much up till now. Donald mentioned it briefly and I thank him for that. I would like to elaborate on it if I could.

In many cases when I have a child asking for something or wanting something from the show, I have realized that they usually are not asking to be rude or disrespectful in any shape or form.

In most cases the child who is requesting, is being innocent and acting upon what he just saw you do. He or she is being a child and doing what a child does. Think about it. You are a magician and to that child, what you do was caused and done by magical means. If you can produce a ball or can produce a flag from no where, then why wouldn't you be able to just make another one. After all you are a magician right?

Now I am not in any way saying that every kid is thinking this. I am also not saying that every child is an angel either. My main point is that in many instances, what we as magicians perceive as a negative comment made by a child is really not a negative comment at all.

As an entertainer, we must be aware of things like this and must be aware of who we are and how we portray ourselves and our image to the children we perform for. Think first about what the child is requesting or saying before you act.

To me it becomes a matter of respect. I tend to try and treat everyone with respect in the hopes that they will treat me in the same manner. It is when this respect is not shown, that you may need to take matters in a different direction.

If a child is asking in a polite manner or out of curiosity, then there is no reason for me to act with a harsh "NO" answer as that was not the intent of the child to cause me any disrepect. As Donald mentioned, in some cases, the child is asking because maybe they have never seen a magician before or maybe they want a closer look.

It is when the child crosses the line of being rude or is showing disrepect that the performer may need to say no and be honest as to the reasons why.

Just my opinion on the subject and I thank you for allowing me to share them here.

Kyle

See, the problem is you assume it is a 'harsh no'. Kid asks for something, you say 'no', it is a completely satisfactory answer and one they understand. you don't have to explain why, you don't have to worry about the poor waifs mental state, he moves on.
Steve V

But that is where we can agree to disagree. When an entertainer just says no, without anything else said, I think it is a very negative thing for a child to hear from a person who is supposed to be entertaining them. Besides, you are not even sure exactly what the motive of the child is in the first place unless you listen to them.

If the child is being rude or showing disrespect, then certainly you can say no and then give them a reason why. I also feel that if they ask you and you want to say no, then certainly say no, but give the child a reason. Let them know why they can not have it.

I thank you for this discussion. There is some good thoughts here and even though we may have a difference of opinion, I think sharing our thoughts here may benefit others.

Kyle

I usually respond with something like "No, because if I give this to you I won't have it to show the kids at my next show". It doesn't work on every kid, but the majority of them understand the message in my words. It’s natural at young ages to ask for everything, just push on.

What bugs me is when the birthday child thinks that the rabbit it for them. I had to deal with this a few times and totally reworked my rabbit routine just because of this reason. After the re-write of the script the problem went away.

See, that's what the "Rabbit Wringer" trick is for. You never use it during your show. You wait until AFTER the show and some joker asks for the rabbit. Then you put it through the wringer, only instead of a nice felt rabbit, you get a road-kill rabbit you've been saving for just this moment... no wait... that trick belongs in the Redneck Magic section.

Again say no but if you would like I can tell your parents where you can get one.
(item asked for)

Pete H.
P.S. not harsh but still no.

I've not had a child behave rudely after a show. I have this thing called a manly presence and most children won't cross someone they don't think they can get away with it. That is why my Utah pals and I don't have this issue. I've had 'em ask in a general way and 'no' worked just swell. You see, adults are in charge, children listen, children no listen, adult not in charge.
Steve V

I agree with Steve that a "no" is all you really need and we as adults and performers need to take control of the venue. With that said, I prefer to 'teach and not preach' and give a simple, polite response when kids ask for things that they know they shouldn't.

Kids are like sponges, why not mold and teach them something while they are paying attention to you?

I have to agree this is kind of a no brainer. No means no. It does not have to be said harshly, in fact say it very matter-of-factly. If you want, put a sorry in front of it. "Sorry, no." For heaven's sake don't get into some kind of intellectual discussion with them about it. (You've got another show to do - right?).

Most of my stuff is already packed away by show end and I have only to close up the table keeping all away from inquisitive hands. Plus the give aways at the end of the show keeps them occupied.

In my experience never worry about offending a rude person, they are immune. Other children can take a no without being crushed, if not...think of the valuable practice you are providing for them later in life.

Frank Tougas

I agree with Mr. Muggle! Kids are like moldy sponges!


Lyndel

Those moldy sponges have helped me earn a living!
Pete H.

"Manly presence?" Hahahahahahahaha! Sounds like back in high school when the guy who always claimed amorous adventures always turned out to be the ONE guy who never even kissed a girl!

Try a preemptive strike against this by taking away their intrest in your props by using something to get them to go after the show. For example, if your final effect uses a rabbit, the kids will want to pet it. Get them to line up at the door and let each of them stroke the rabbit on the head on the way out. Once they're out of the room, the parents take control of the kids and you can pack up in peace.

Again JUST SAY NO!

Girls felt it too....
Steve V

How about: "NO YOU LITTLE BABBOON. I'M TRYING TO DO A SHOW HERE."
Just a thought.
Peace,
Parson

Good one