How The Fight Started

There I was on my way to work ... getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind ... wasn't even on the horizon .. I was in a great mood ... and then .. I rear-ended a car.
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car ... And you know how you just get so stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it ... he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY !"
So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then ?"

.. . . and that's when the fight started.

Let me guess...was he Grumpy?


hey now...

Well...the joke WAS Dopey. I like it though. _

Doug I know the feeling.

I was walking down Fifth Avenue here in Playa del Carmen. Wonderfull environment, scantily clad women galore! Just a perfect day.

Along comes a woman wearing a half shirt with the word GUESS written right across what passed for the front of her shirt.

When I tried, her boyfriend got really really angry....(I assume that wasn't what she meant buy GUESS?)


..........and that's when the fight started. I must have guessed wrong.

My date got mad at me all because I didn't open her car door for her.... instead I just swam up to the surface.

..... and that's when the fight started.

I was at a Brewers baseball game, many years ago.

I was a little buzzed, and a little loud, and maybe I was using a little bad language. Finally a guy about 4 rows down yelled "SHUT UP! WE HAVE WOMEN AND CHILDREN DOWN HERE!!!"

I yelled back "which one are you, a woman or a child?" About 200 people laughed at the guy. He turned beet red and came charging over the seats and up the rows.

And that's when the fight started. True story.

There is no joke that cannot be improved by adding the words "True story" to the end.

That is a fact.

Unfortunately, that is a true story. I could probably dig out the receipt for the $260 I had to pay on the disorderly conduct charge they slapped me with.

"What's the matter, you got something against guys with hair?" (while simultaneously slapping the bald guy on the head)- From the movie Anger Management.

Not a true story but great way to pick a fight.

GlenD

Excuse me, but mine WAS a true story sir. Thank you very much. Or was it, I forgot.

Well as Jay Marshal used to say "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story".

I have a friend whose being going through some tough times and is getting depressed. We were sitting at a restaurant and he decides to tell me a story of a recent incident he had. He said that times were so low that he got a bit religious and decided to as for some sign from above as to what to do in his life. He said he made this little prayer and went to sleep.

In the morning he said he woke up and looked up at the ceiling. He got real quiet as he said, "I looked up and somehow something was reflecting light from the window up onto the ceiling. I focused on these two reflections and they were two letters. Two letters shining on my ceiling. You know what they were?"

And I said, "F U?"

and then the fight started. Not really. This really happened, but it didn't end in a fight. I actually made my friend laugh so hard that he started to cough and lose his breath.

Greg

Funny thread!

But what did the letters really say Greg?

Corona.

Heheh.. Brilliant comeback Sir!

As you can imagine, the letters were J C. I made him laugh harder when he finished the story and I added: "So the universe gave you a sign that you should ask John Calvert for answers?"

Greg