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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
I wrote these so they are funny. I don't care what you say, they are. (And don't send them over to "now that's funny" they won't like them):
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were all in a strange situation. Something happened to the Englishman and he said or did something. The same thing then happened to the Scotsman and he said or did something pretty similair to what the Englishman had just said/done. The same thing happened to the Irishman and he said/did something different which could be construed as clever or stupid depending on how you look at it but it was unexpected so hilarity ensued. An animal/person/object walked into a bar and the barman said something that not only was a common phrase in a drinking establishment but also referred to one of the characteristics of the animal/person/object. What's the difference between something and something else? Something that is relevant but also two words can be swapped around to mean something naughty and something else I'm not actually going to say because you need to work it out in your head for it to be funny. What's the difference between something and something else? Something that is relevant but also two words can be swapped around to mean something else and something else is actually something else not the something with the words where swapped around so you thought it would be something else therein lies the humour. How many things does it take to thing. A number and a humourous explanation. What is a llac? An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman. How do you now if something is doing something? Because something happens. Thank you. I am here all week, try the cheesy cliche. George |
spatlind Special user still moving 863 Posts |
I liked most of them except the 2nd and 4th ones..
Actions lie louder than words - Carolyn Wells
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature - Frank Lloyd Wright. |
NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
Knock Knock
Whose There Someone Someeone who? Someone with a name that can also be the first part of longer phrase. |
Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
Some people just don't know how to deliver a joke.
John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
Reference to putting a joke into packaging and sending it by post as a hilarious nod towards the multiple definitions of the word deliver.
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
I have also written some stand up comedy...
"What is the deal with the certain things? Could they be any more like what they are? If they were any more like what they are they'd be something with similar attributes but more so!" |
ClintonMagus Inner circle Southwestern Southeast 3997 Posts |
I'm offended!
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
Nice stand up, Nick, here's some of mine.
Set up, punchline, Set up, punchline, tag, set up, punchline, call back, set up, rant,set up, punchline,tag, deconstruction of something that isn't often deconstructed,Call back. |
Bill Nuvo Inner circle 3094 Posts or 2742 Posts |
Someone does something to inflict embarrassment onto another.
Someone does something to someone to inflict supposed bodily harm. Someone calls attention to someone else's standout physical feature or personality trait. (Sorry, I know these were not as good as the others, but I couldn't think of what was left but these sometimes objectionable jokes and gags) |
magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
No worries Bill, it was about time someone did some physical comedy and heckling.
This is quite depressing. We can all see the comedy matrix now. Nothing will be funny again. Except maybe farts. george |
Bill Nuvo Inner circle 3094 Posts or 2742 Posts |
Quote:
Not if you are from England (Just ask Tony James) |
Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
George,
I think your jokes are timeless.
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
Josh Riel Inner circle of hell 1995 Posts |
Quote:
On 2008-06-25 09:49, ClintonMagus wrote: I agree! the bigoted racist "Humor" I have read here is pathetic. You should all feel ashamed. Also, Have you heard the one about the person who acted normally but made to seem as if said person did something naughty.
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
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Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
Why do they call it something mundane? It isn't a literal meaning of it's name. Why don't they call it a more accurate name that sounds funny?
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Some jokes for you all! (0 Likes) |
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