Assuming you've established the following type of response is appropriate (see Ben Harris' 1st post above)


Didn't you get the memo?

I suspect shortly after your last breath.

I'm pretty sure that's going to be right at the very end of your life.

That's a toughie... I'm going to have to phone a friend... Hello..God?... He's not picking up... oh and his voice mail's full?

That's the one question no one knows the answer to... unless of course the judge has told you.

The Italian gentleman wants to know, (Said with a badiy executed Italian accent), "when am-a I-a going to die?" Well I think you went once when you got up this morning, ... then again mid morning, ...once after lunch... and again this evening... that's-a-when-you're-a-going-today (to-die) ... when you're a going tomorrow and a the next day of course depends on how much liquid you drink.

Whilst I like the idea of turning what could be a sombre moment around with levity, personally I would allow it the depth it deserves but move on to other things quite swiftly.

When are you going to die?
I can't tell you that and even if I could I wouldn't.

NEXT!

My joke answer would be to look at my watch and mutter, "...what time is it just now?"

Or, more seriously...

"I can't tell you, you control your own destiny, walk your journey wisely."

Footnote
A couple of years back my wife was diagnosed with cancer with a mortality rate of 1 in 5. She did tons of research, changed her diet, listened to 'positive thoughts' CD's during her Chemo & Radiotherapy and a whole lot of other stuff. She (we) got through it and so far has been clear for 2 years now. We won't celebrate until she doesn't need any more check-ups after 5 years. I seriously believe everything she did helped push the odds in her favour, she shaped her destiny.

You only truly die when nobody remembers you .......
Mark

It seems to me that such a situation is unlikely to arise in the kind of performance that is typically referred to as "Q&A." I've never seen or heard of a "Q&A" routine in which audience members are invited to stand up and ask questions. Such routines are usually presented (e.g., as performed by Dunninger, Kreskin, Eagles, etc.) in "sealed message reading" format where audience members write their names or initials and a message or question on slips of paper (which may or may not be put into small envelopes), which are then collected in a basket, bag or bowl. The performer, who may or may not ever handle the slips or envelopes, identifies some audience members by name or initials and answers their question or otherwise indicates that he has received their message. For example, in Dunninger's and Kreskin's case, the slips are put into envelopes which are collected but not handled by Kreskin who then sits in a chair, opens a notepad, apparently "receives" the thoughts written audience members and answers their questions. In acts like Gil Eagles' where the performer is blindfolded, the slips are not in envelopes but are dumped into a bowl; the performer reaches into the bowl, grabs a handfull of slips and answers some questions or reveals some messages, discards those slips and grabs a few more, etc. In those presentations questions such as "When will I die?" are simply ignored. There is no attempt to answer ALL of the questions, only enough of them to result in an effective performance.

The only situation I can imagine in which a performer would ask audience members to call out questions would be in a comedy routine where the kind of responses that "Dr. Bob" has suggested would be in order.

Not as far into the future as you'd like...but sooner than you expect.

"When you stop living. Don't worry, though. When it happens, you probably won't even notice it."

The answer is simple really ...

You will DIE on a Tuesday evening!!!!!
I see it clearly

April 1st 2010.

Hehehehhe...

Gabe...Love it.

Long time-no talk. Hope you are well.