Cuz it is too late for most of the 'pros' here. If you are already a performer don't read this, go away. This is for younger kids under nine (the show not performer).

1. Can I be a kids show magician (KSM)?
Answer: Do you really enjoy making children happy and making them laugh? Are you reliable? If you can answer yes to both questions you are on your way!

2. But I'm a Blaine wannabe who only knows card tricks that I believe makes girls scream....and a thousand dollars worth of effects with the word 'Phantom' in the title, what do I do magic wise?
Answer: Toss the close up stuff aside. You want things that are visual, silks are great, rope routines, a puppet, funny wands, pretty much anything that is stand up meaning the kids can SEE it. If you only have tricks Blaine did then don't try being a kids show magician...maggot.

3. I have proper stand up effects and read the instructions and 'patter', how much should I charge?
Answer: Hold on lil' bucko, first you have to understand what children find funny. If you already know, as in really know not think you know, really know then you are set! If you are not sure or even if you are sure I suggest you get Seriously Silly which addresses routining. It comes in book form and DVD for you 'visual learners', or what we use to call illiterates. Basically a routine has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and the parts that are important are what goes on between the three areas. Dropping stuff, hurting yourself, not seeing the obvious, calling something the wrong name or color, all of these are standard things to add to routines. Get your effect, then figure out how you can mess up the trick. That is right future magi, the secret to being a successful KSM is to screw up the tricks!

4. I get it! But....I don't have any expensive way cool tricks yet, I...I...only have tried and true effects, what do I do?
Answer: You don't need big effects or fancy props. You are the effect! If you spent time developing your character, which should be excited and happy and wanting to perform, it will be worth far more than some super expensive prop that will likely get no more response than an envelope you can't see. Nothing wrong with that expensive stuff, but don't believe you need them. What I want you to do is make a list of what you think will go well into a show, you want about 45 minutes worth of material.

5. I had my sister help me write the list, I'm a visual learner you know, and I don't know what to do next. Can you tell me?
Answer: Sure! Outline your show. Start with a funny routine that will get their attention from the get go. I have started with a color changing lace or a simple silk vanish or the envelope routine. The idea is to get the chillins into the show and to know they can respond to you and laugh, remember, they may not know what to do. Then decide a good closer which should be something, in my opinion, that gives a bit of punch to the performance. This can be as simple as achieving something you failed a few times during the show or the production of a large silk that says 'thank you'. Now fill in the middle and try to see if you can have a logical lead from one routine to another, about nine routines should do it keeping with the rule of threes.

6. Done! Should I just wing it now?
Answer: No! I suggest you write a script. You do not have to go with the script word for word. Picture it as the script is an anchor that you, the boat, can float around but it is something that keeps you from wandering and drifting. You can go where the show leads you but you have that script to return to. Go on, you can do it, it isn't hard! Figure out what gags go in between tricks, what you need, the whole nine yards. I want you to be able to visualize your entire show as if you were just running through it. Now go get your sister to write the big words!

7. Script is done...whew...I'm ready! Do I now get my website and claim to be the best magician in the world?
Answer: No! Idiot. What you need to do is practice on family member kids at reunions, get togethers, do a couple tricks at church for a sunday school class. DO NOT steal a working magicians gig, just find opportunities to see if you do understand what makes kids laugh. This can be tough but you gotta walk before you can run and run before you can fly. Next you can attend a friends kids birthday that ISN't getting a magician etc and ask if you can practice your show. Do this a couple times. At the very least run through the dang thing so you have it down even if you don't have an audience.

8. I did it! NOW can I claim to be the best magician? I stole a list of party hints from another web site and I feel ready to....
Answer: Geez....no. Is your character down? Do you have your clothing picked out that matches your character? Is your gear set up where is easily moved and set up in a timely fashion and also something you can pack up when done? You want to do birthdays slick, you are not going to be dragging around a truck full of stuff with assistants and sound systems and all that nonsense, leave that to the bigger shows and shroom eaters.

9. Okay, I have the show scripted, practiced, ready to move in and out of houses, my character is developed and dressed, I've joined the magic forums on line and established myself as a major pro, can I NOW set up my multi level website with advice, statements of why they want to hire me and no one else, and a link to a products page with nothing on it yet but under construction because I intend to release a routine making me recognized as a leader in the field and lecture and Childbalooza, THE premier childrens magicians club with private forums and its own magazine with membership that indicates that I am a top pro and I'm ready to do 867 shows per year like everyone else does....can I huh?
Answer: No! First off marketing. Get an ad in a parents magazine, most larger areas have them. Get into the free ad section and also a nice lil' ad that indicates that their child will be the star of the party not that you will be. Also get the word out in party stores etc.. As for your website you have to decide, do you want to get work or just impress other magicians? NO! $@)$( them! Don't do like they do, do as I say. Get a site that is simple and, this is a biggie the real geniuses forget, shows where you ARE. Do you realize how many of these wannabes have multiple pages, video, photos, statements, all this nonsense yet they forget to put the dang state they are in let alone the city? I had a one page site and got more traffic than these other freaks because I stated where I was. It is more important that your name come up in searches, also register with some of those free referal sites. If you have a page that says "Simon the Silly, Make your childs party one everyone will remember, Magic show, balloons, fun!, Smithville, Arkansas, Ph# xxxxx, Game package and party packs available!" with a photo of you waving a silk will get you more jobs than those sites where people have to go through 10 pages to find out if the guy is even in the same country. Seriously, people don't have time nor do they care about that crap, magicians care about other magicians crap, and they ain't hiring....they also ain't working hundreds and hundreds of birthday parties a year, we call them whacky. Give stuff to the kids with your name on it and phone number, a coloring page is great, and they bring it home and maybe they hire you. Tada!

Oh oh! Check with schools that have walkathons and stuff like that. I use to go do balloons at them, get a couple hundred bucks and all the parents got my card, Get a clean, easily read, business card by the way.

10. So which BOR stuff should I go with?
Answer: For birthday parties? Don't. If you are doing a community show or something that is fine but don't insult the parents who hire you. Also don't sell yourself repeatedly during the show, and NO *** jokes, I actually saw a 'number one' KSM disrupt his nonstop ad for himself to tella *** joke at a little girls birthday. He was verrrrry lucky her father, a CHP, didn't strangle him, and he thought about it.

11. I guess I'm ready, you didn't even mention the dozens of goal lists I should make or one of those chair suspensions, but I think I can do it! Any last bits of advice?
Answer: Yes! Your job is to entertain the children and to do magic that will fool them. There is no cookie cutter magicians, well there are, but you don't have to be one of them. Cookies taste the same regardless of the shape and you can do pretty much what you feel is right and as long as the children are laughing and having fun during your show you have succeeded. If they are sitting there watching you like good lil angels chances are you suck. You can use common items or expensive props just remember you have to lug it in and out. The goal should be to touch the children (not literally, that goes on enough already...freaks) in a way that makes them think they are special and just went through a special event. Though you have to do magic that fools when you do magic, the real magic is you.

Great post MagicSanta. Got in a few good chuckles.

Jim

Jim, you were supposed to not read this and go away.

Thanks for the post.
I enjoyed it.

Very good and funny.


Thanks




Helder Sousa

How dare you Santa. parody, humor, and sound advice is not allowed in this section.

if I can make an ammendment:

1. Can I be a kids show magician (KSM)?

yes, everyone is doing it, the market is saturated with KSMs, so it must be easy.

2. But I'm a Blaine wannabe who only knows card tricks that I believe makes girls scream....and a thousand dollars worth of effects with the word 'Phantom' in the title, what do I do magic wise?

quarter bite, any thing with a tiger deck of cards, anything with fire. You should buy business cards before you purchase ANY magic trick or prior to magic study.

3. I have proper stand up effects and read the instructions and 'patter', how much should I charge?

It's best to undercut every magician in the area. That way you get more work. $40-50 is fine, even though this negates the cost of gas and a bag of 360 balloons.

4. I get it! But....I don't have any expensive way cool tricks yet, I...I...only have tried and true effects, what do I do?

Stay away from tired and true - anything tarbell, don alan, john booth, that maskelyne guy..is all outdated on theory and performance. stay away from it. The people on magic forums know everything you should know.

5. I had my sister help me write the list, I'm a visual learner you know, and I don't know what to do next. Can you tell me?

If your sister is over 21 and good looking, please give me her contact info so I can go over this list.

6. Done! Should I just wing it now?

Fake it untill you make it.

7. Script is done...whew...I'm ready! Do I now get my website and claim to be the best magician in the world?

Yes, My friend bradley purchased an award and so do other big names, you can do this too.

8. I did it! NOW can I claim to be the best magician? I stole a list of party hints from another web site and I feel ready to....

If you really want to be the best, watch the top magician in your area and steal his act - that way he can't compete and you get more business.

9. Okay, I have the show scripted, practiced, ready to move in and out of houses, my character is developed and dressed, I've joined the magic forums on line and established myself as a major pro, can I NOW set up my multi level website with advice, statements of why they want to hire me and no one else, and a link to a products page with nothing on it yet but under construction because I intend to release a routine making me recognized as a leader in the field and lecture and Childbalooza, THE premier childrens magicians club with private forums and its own magazine with membership that indicates that I am a top pro and I'm ready to do 867 shows per year like everyone else does....can I huh?

You are on the right track. Lectures and selling routines to OTHER magicians is where the money is at...oops, forget that last line.

10. So which BOR stuff should I go with?

don't sell BOR, you should be happy with what the market will bear to give you as a performer for the rest of your career.

11. I guess I'm ready, you didn't even mention the dozens of goal lists I should make or one of those chair suspensions, but I think I can do it! Any last bits of advice?

chair suspensions, back drops, a fancy table, and big props. Less than 16 trips to the uhaul you rented indicates you haven't made it yet.

HH

Hank, my brutha, you'll appreciate this. I had a former coworker in Reno ask me about a magician he hired for his kids party. The magician in question is outstanding, one of the best all around magicians I've ever seen. The fellow was worried that he was paying too much and as I had not done kids shows in Reno I wondered what the going rate was an inparticular for this one guy since no one else in the area other than Kalin and Jinger could touch him in ability (he works for the Kalins actually). Get this, $65 for half an hour with an option of another 15 minutes for $25! I couldn't believe it, I came from an area where the average was $250 to $500 a show and this great talent was doing it for $65! Thus why I have not bothered doing kids shows in Reno.

THe most memorable magician I've met in Reno was Terry Lagerould. After typing this, I had a great story to tell but now I forgot. Getting old is terrible.

HH