Not having worked a childrens show for many years, I'm looking for some input into a routine that I'm adapting for childrens/family audiences.
I would appreciate any ideas for more funny lines that could be used in a prediction situation.

e.g "You will find half a worm in your next apple"

Looking for a combo of funny and negative

You can post here or PM me.
If I use any of them in the routine, You will be rewarded!

cheers

Timothy Hyde

I predict you will be the tallest Kid in your 4th grade class ...three years in a row.

I wouldn't use this line but you can.

-Mary Mowder

“Clear your mind of all thought…..Wow, that was fast!”

I like to act like I’ve gotten the prediction wrong, although the children can see I’ve gotten it right (look don’t see principal). This makes them laugh at me. So, I say, “You don’t have to laugh at me, anyone can make a mistake” And so on and so on. Lots of fun!

I take a slightly different angle... "I'm now going to attempt,
before your very eyes... to read... MY OWN MIND!"

It works for me and my character.

I predict:

You will have a birthday in the next 12 months

Later today you will look at your hand

One of your socks will mysteriously vanish from the washing machine.

You will be told to tidy your room.

Tomorrow morning one of your legs will be the same.

This month DFS will have sale on.

Your palm has just turned purple

I graduated number 1 in my class of course I was.... Home Schooled.

Make you mind a total blank look at me I have had experience.

No joke should be at a kids expense

magicgeorge has some great examples of harmless fun

"Don't tell me, let me guess.. your name is..."
At this point they often tell me their name
"No, that's not it..."