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Strange Tasting Fish Sticks 1988 - 2013 The Big Brother is watching you 1095 Posts |
Laurie, I respect you so much. You've always given me great positive advice! Thank you! I just got to not care what others think. And remind myself that more, what you said. I really respect you guys for letting me vent sometimes - I feel like a drama queen sometimes. I'm not sure what's true anymore. Everyone gives me different answers but I can't figure myself out sometimes, because I start questioning when someone says I'm something else.
I've been studying japanese off and on the past many years (self study). I know the 2 alphabets and a dozen kanji, bits and pieces. I don't know a full years worth of study yet - because I've had to teach myself everything. I never gave up on it though. I have the past, but I kept coming back and trying again. Someone on the japanese forums told me the other day, (and Ive been trying not to go back there, because it hurts me alot). And I got real angry at him. Maybe I was too mean to him, but he told me: "Everybody on the planet has issues and problems, Kevin. Some people work to rise above them. Some people lie down and wallow in them. Your problem is precisely that you choose to let your issues define who you are. And you have learned how to use one-man pity parties as psychological weapons to guilt and manipulate the people around you. I wish you could meet my children; they'd tell you not to even waste your time trying to manipulate me like that. I'm immune to it." "I already told you I admire your desire you have to learn Japanese and work you put into it. I know it isn't easy for you. But that doesn't change the fact that your repeated giving up in the face of adversity is a far larger problem for you than any learning difficulty you may have. Nobody ever accomplished a ***ed thing by giving up every time they hit a hard spot. " |
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magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts |
That guy was another alpha dog talking to you, Kevin. He was trying to hurt you, and succeeded. Again, it's obvious he has his own issues and doesn't have a true understanding of your problem. Here's someone who would have though, and he went from
http://youtu.be/T8tGCVavS5s to http://youtu.be/-qCHogez_jM more than once. He inspires me greatly and will continue to do so the rest of my days, I believe. Again, all the best to you, Kevin, and thankyou for your kind comments. And you're welcome! |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
I used to joke about having a web site ..voiceinmyhead.com
Now I turn them into a vent routine. My brain puppet, vent without a puppet in one, on stage, is similar to Robin Williams schtick about his fears doing comedy. He voices his with lip movement. ...and yes, I came up with my bit prior to hearing his. Some voices are alpha some are more like a chihuaua. Now that is some ruff times. Many folks are grandious but also have a bit of inferiority complex. One of my mentors always suggest I balance things. This includes family, magic and other entertainment, "regular job", other hobbies, exercise. Another friend says anything worth doing is worth doing to excess. Probably explains why last summer I went from doing 5 jumps on jump rope to 2000 reps per day. Harris "a legend in his own mind", or is it a "legend in his own mime"
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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Strange Tasting Fish Sticks 1988 - 2013 The Big Brother is watching you 1095 Posts |
Quote:
On 2012-04-15 13:11, magicalaurie wrote: After you posted that I read about him. Good for him! What an inspiration to us all. I read about his drug addiction too. Harris, I'm determined to compete for FISM one day. Thank you for believing in me. Until recently, all my life people never believed in me. Except my mom. People would always make fun of me or shoot me down. Especially on the internet, which during my game addiction was my only real communicating much for 12 years. I got to believe in myself. And I do already sometimes. I have to give myself credit when due. Also, I've been reading my book on showmanship. It mentions to always ruthlessly hunt out discrepancies in a routine, that doesn't stick with the theme. Or moves without motivation, but it goes further. Each motivated move has to be consistent with the theme. For example, Eric Jone's body loading sequence is a great routine. But I had a good idea to make it better. The motivation to move the hand a certain way, which is in the routine. This gives motivation I was thinking to myself, but for what? Why am I moving their hand? To drop a coin in it? To just "adjust" it? Why am I "adjusting" it? Even though I gave it motivation, I didn't give it a reason. The motivation isn't backed by anything other than adjusting the hand. But ultimately, adjusting the hand has nothing to do with the trick besides a distraction technique. That's what bothers me. It's not consistent with the theme. I love the routine and it gets great reactions, but I'm trying to give my motivation moves reason too, so consistent with the theme they cannot question it. It said in the book, a common mistake magicians make is saying "Oh, it's ok. The spectators wont notice it." This is a huge "ostrich" error, as he puts it. The spectators will notice it. I need to analyze my tricks, put out each theme, as the spectator sees it, and pick out all disrepencites that do not fit the theme. Ask myself, "Why, in the minds of the spectator, or how, is this move motivated and why?, Is it consistent with the theme? Is it just a diversion technique? Why am I doing this move?" The reason Robert Houdin succeded with his trick for the arabs is he gave it meaning. Every piece, was motivated so beautifully, every movement, every patter, was so perfectly constructed that the arabs had to believe him. Every move was motivated, and motivated with a reason, a meaning. It was a simple trick, anyone could do it mediocre. But because of his showmanship, and the meaning and motivation he backed each meaning, it became a masterpiece. Ultimately, I think I need to stop praticing more and focus more on showmanship now. |
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Mb217 Inner circle 9520 Posts |
Fish, I don't know about all this "Alpha Dog" stuff but the guy sounds like a real a**hole to me. This guy seems like the type that not only heckled you but orders his food from his wife at home (hope he doesn't have one) to be brought to him and then leaves it there for her to clean up...A bully that preys on weakness and takes advantage of others by intimidation. You should've just walked away from him. Nothing "Alpha" about guys like that from magic to marbles. A bully is a bully and typically disrespects others whenever they can. Save your magic for people that appreciate it and I'm sure there are many.
*Check out my latest: Gifts From The Old Country: A Mini-Magic Book, MBs Mini-Lecture on Coin Magic, The MB Tanspo PLUS, MB's Morgan, Copper Silver INC, Double Trouble, FlySki, Crimp Change - REDUX!, and other fine magic at gumroad.com/mb217magic
"Believe in YOU, and you will see the greatest magic that ever was." -Mb |
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magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts |
You make a good distinction, Marion. It would be more accurate for me to say they're not truly alpha dogs, rather, they seem to perceive themselves as such. They don't recognize they're still vying for rank. "It's the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give." comes to mind.
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/articles/alphadogbootcamp.htm If you'd like to do more reading about Johnny, Kevin, I highly recommend his second autobiography, "Cash". He wrote another "The Man in Black" earlier on and parts of it are carried into "Cash", if I recall correctly. Take care. |
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MagicJuggler Inner circle Anchorage, AK 1161 Posts |
Strange Tasting Fishsticks:
Anyone that thinks they've sussed out your real "problem" after a few conversations or posts on a forum or two are a bit self dilluted. To think that you can diagnose a persons problems with little information to go on is an example of distorted thinking, and is a bit grandiose besides. Sounds like the guy had no idea what mental illness is like, and how it can be debilitating at times regardless of what you do. I've worked in the mental health field for over 10 years, working directly with patients with just about every mental illness in the books, and I have seen directly how mental illness unchecked can be ravaging on a person's life and sense of self. The fact that you are functional is in itself a success. Were I you I would take heart and recognize that many if not all of these negative feelings are derived from the illness, and that as you treat the illness many of those feelings will go away. I would work closely with your care provider and try to nail down something that works to alleviate your symptoms. Medications can be a great tool (so long as they're working properly) but the rest has to come from you and making sure you're taking care of yourself. Unfortuately it can be a long process to recovery, and even then there will be occasional relapses. But so long as you persevere and work to take control of your illness things will improve eventually. And I don't speak from just an outsider's point of view, I have struggled with my own mental illness for years (technically I have a legal disability, though I'm NOT disabled and funtion very well... considering) and am only now getting to the point where I have been having much fewer symptoms that are no longer a constant weight on my shoulders. For me it has been a matter of finding the right combinations of meds coupled with correcting many of my self-created problems that has gotten me to this point. As far as the relationship between the effect of good magic on an audience and some of the cognative distortions in mental illness, I think the relationship is a little tenuous though present nontheless. I myself find it interesting that many mentally ill people are very creative and intellegent and seem naturally drawn to creative endevors such as art, writing, magic etc. which is why the list of inventors and actors and other performers with mental illness is disproportionately large in comparison with the general population. At any rate, take care and take care of yourself. I wish you good fortune and remember you're not alone.
Matthew Olsen
I heard from a friend that anecdotal evidence is actually quite reliable. |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
Laughter and magic can be good medicine.....
Then why are some comedians alcoholics, asked Nigel the puppet that rocks and talks. Creativity and cognitive distortion can go hand in hand. (or is it sleight of hand) When I left my job at the Nevada State Hospital, they roasted me. Included were quips about my juggling and ping pong therapy. Finding mentors on line these days is part of the in thing. Finding one (including mental health guidance) in your home town is also part of the solution. Though I joke both about mental health and entertainment, I do take both very seriously. (somedays more sewious than others) Heard recently...the difference between an enemy/bully and a true friend..they both might give the same criticism...but it is done with a different delivery and purpose. In my early career, I loved ata boys. I have learned I need them and also the cold truth told by a loving mentor. Sign seen at an Anonymous Anonymous meeting...(cartoon of Einstein) ...don't believe everything your brain tells you. (that includes thoughts and emotions) I tried to go back to see it, but they moved and would not tell me the new location. Quip heard by me, as I left my job at Lansing Penitentiary..."of all the counselors I have had over the years....you are the strangest". Harris laughologist and nearly normal coin guy
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts |
Kevin, I enjoy seeing you refer to your showmanship book. I had a copy of the Henning Nelms book and recall it as one of the best magic books I've seen discussing performance and showmanship. My copy was damaged beyond salvaging by one of my cats, unfortunately, so I'd like to get another copy to be able to review it again and keep it in my "library".
Have you had a chance to read "Magic by Misdirection" by Dariel Fitzkee? It's been one of the best I've read regarding the points you make about consistency. It goes into detail about concepts that should be, and are, in fact, fundamental to magic performance, but that don't seem to be discussed in depth often. I recommend it highly if you haven't had a chance to pick it up yet. Ironically, I wasn't impressed at all with Fitzkee's "Showmanship for Magicians" and wouldn't recommend it over Nelms. "Magic by Misdirection" is most definitely worth a read, though. If you're looking for a copy, shop around- you should be able to find it fairly inexpensively- check out the used books for sale forum here at the Café, too- some great finds there at times. |
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Strange Tasting Fish Sticks 1988 - 2013 The Big Brother is watching you 1095 Posts |
I try to take it slowly, one step at a time like my aikido. It's difficult but with patience all things came. I still can't believe I'm working with frenchdrop.. It was a dream 3 years ago.it was more like a burning passion. It was so strong I was going to put all I had into it. Then I forgot about it. Weird things seem to happen with persistance, and perseverance. I'm reading again about frames of reference and attention. I'm doing it wrong.
I'll look for that book after I read through this book 5 times. Now I question myself sometimes. I feel like a fraud. I feel I'll s oon be found out for how bad I really am, and unskilled. |
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magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts |
Remind yourself that a fraud wouldn't likely be posting publicly on a magic board that he's afraid of being found out. You are good, and skilled, and work hard to do your best with new material. I think it's safe to say Frenchdrop knows that. Refocus positively, Kevin. Persist in that. Trust yourself. You'll get to a point that reassurance will come from within.
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