I recently performed a show for about 20 first grade girls. I thought I did a pretty good job of getting a lot of audience participation, but after I got done doing my last trick, one young girl was sobbing really hard saying "you never picked me to volunteer!"

I quickly did one last trick to involve her that I didn't plan initially. I was wondering if this was an issue where children can feel really sad and left out if they are not picked to be part of the show at some time. If so, how can you keep track of everyone that's participated and those that have not?

Unless you have a trick for everyone there you really can't.

At a birthday party I usually use the birthday child.

At other venues I'll usually use an adult. That way there are no hurt feelings.
You can also mess around with them, much to the delight of the kids.

It can be a problem. If I see a child who really wants to be involved, I will do my best. But sometimes one slips through the cracks. It is one of the few down sides of the business.

One way to handle this is to INVOLVE THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE! Obviously, you can't have the entire group on stage, but, you can involve them, fof example, by using some of the old "standbys".

My whole show is a CONVERSATION, NOT A SPEECH! I make it a point to talk WITH the audience, NOT "TO" or "AT" them.

I'm sure that most performers, who have any experience at all (especially with young people) are familiar with simple things like asking the entire group to "snap their fingers" to make the "thing" disappear. --Or, having them shout "the magic word", Or do a "countdown" (10, 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1) etc.

The Misers Dream routine that I've developed over the past 60 years, involves ON STAGE, as many boys and girls as there is room for! I make a point of inviting handicapped kids (even those in wheel chairs,or on crutches.

I do my best to involve kids of all colors and cultures.

You haven't been hugged until you've been hugged by a boy or girl with Downs Syndrome! I have a picture of a little blond haired angel about 6 years old. She had no hands. She was a THALIDOMIDE child. Her birth defect was the result of her pregnant mother having been prescribed Thalidomide. She wore artificial metal prostheses, and she was joyfully petting my rabbit after the show. If I had known the situation, I would have invited her on stage to help during the show. Perhaps she couldn't tie the knots for sympathetic silks, but, she could have held the silks.

Bob Markwood has a solution to this in his book poof you're a frog
Its not a bad book as is volume 2 if you are happy to buy it .. Because whilst I bought mine on publication there was later some major problems found with Bobs behaviour with kids phil

I do a silk blendo using a change bag and get every-one at the Birthday Party to put their hand inside/through it.

I use magic words and actions for other tricks that gets every-one involved.

And my normal show catters for up to 30 volunteers on stage ( a normal UK Class size). And I always have a few spare props I can use if I reckon anyone is being left out (eg an extra mask, wand )

In my larger shows I will sometimes say: "Not everyone will be picked to come up." If it is clear that there is a problem developing.

In my Birthday Show the Birthday Child is the only volunteer to come up so the Kids seem to understand that.

It is important to involve the whole audience. Tell them clearly what you'd like them to do and tell them when to do it.

If you ask them to raise their hands if they've seen you before etc… remember to give them a hands down signal of some sort or some kids will keep their hands up well after.

Don't make the mistake of asking rhetorical questions to keep them involved.
Kids don't all "get" rhetorical questions and you can end up with several of the Kids wanting to answer out loud while the rest of the Kids (who do understand rhetorical questions) sit impatiently.
When you ask a question that you don't really want them to answer, you are asking for trouble.

-Mary Mowder

Mndude, I think you handled it well, man. I do the same thing if a child approaches me, and had his heart set on it. I pull him aside and do something one on one with them. As far as my show, I use quite a few volunteers, tons in fact, and I also have the whole audience doing things as well.
I also tell kids after the show that approach me that the next time they see me, I will make sure to call on them, and I tell the mom to whisper in my ear, while I'm setting up. This happened just last week at one of my public shows. A mom approached me, and said that her son knew he'd see me today, and remembered what I said, and I called him up first.

What pbj100 said is true. Markwood's material is great and his warm up from Poof! You're a Frog works very well. Don't judge his material from his behavior as one had nothing to do with the other except in a superficial way.