Thank you balducci, Theodore, Michael, s2000, Pakar and anderson. Much appreciated. You guys are awesome. I am here in Vermont right now with my wife and step son. Unfortunately, my mother in law didn't make it so we spent most of the day making funeral arrangements at the funeral home. It was pretty rough on my wife and step son. It was tough on me too, she was a wonderful woman and a wonderful mother in law. I hated to see her go and I also hated to see my wife in so much pain over losing her mother. I have memories of having some wonderful conversations with my mother in law and some of her favorite actors or artists like John Wayne and Elvis Presley and how she liked to watch their movies and listen to their music. So it was tough on me too but I stayed strong for my wife and stepson since I think they needed somebody they could lean on and keep a level head. But it was still rough on me too and I shed a few tears with my wife after leaving the funeral home.

The owner of the funeral home told me that the Jewish community here in the local area, when they have loved one pass away, their custom is to put help bury or put some dirt on the deceased loved one with the shovel turned backwards to illustrate how tough it is to bury a loved one but yet, it's something that must be done (it's really tough to shovel dirt on a grave when the shovel is turned backwards). I think that's about right. Funerals are never easy but something that must be done when a loved one passes away.

So, I have been listening to my wife talk about her wonderful memories of her deceased father and now just deceased mother. Doing my best to help her cope. My step son took us out to a nice wing place here in the local area (he is doing well for himself and works for IBM and my wife is several years older than myself, 8 year difference between my wife and myself, so my step son has recently been on his own and working). It's times like these that remind you, that all of us are going to die and so you want to leave as positive a mark on people and others as you possibly can before it's your time to go. It also drives home the point to never take your loved ones for granted because their is no guarantee they will be here tomorrow. So, I never take my wife or my family for granted. I have an awesome and supportive family and I am certainly very fortunate and I always keep in mind how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family.

Hang in there William, wife and family. Here's something to think about.



​The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Thanks for the wisdom and the poem Bob1. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers imgic.

One thing I have learned a lesson on in having to help my wife with funeral arrangements is the value of planning out your own funeral. My mother in law made life easier on my wife and I by already having her funeral planned out. Boy, that helps out a lot. Even though my wife and I are young, we made an appointment with the funeral parlor once my mother in law's funeral is over to have our own funerals planned out that way it will make life easier on our loved ones once we pass.

Hi GM,

I'm sorry that you, your wife and step son had to go through this. It's nice to read that you are being supportive but make sure you take care of yourself too. My heart goes out to all of you and condolences for your loss.

Thanks Chrystal for your kind words. I appreciate it!

In honor of my mother in law who has recently passed, a poem:

Afterglow

I'd like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when the day is done.
I'd like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways.

Of happy times, and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who
grieve to dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave
when life is done.

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