The Amazing Jonathan has a vast library of hilarious insults...

...if that's your thing.

Throw them down the moon door

Then you said "Hmmm...the signals I was picking up on seemed to indicate 'Male Prostitute'...I can see then, that I wasn't too far off!"

I've not had the problem of getting a jerk on stage during a show, but I sure have had my fair share of them while doing close up work. Jeez. Some of them can be a nightmare. If difficult to deal with during close up in a corporate environment because if you're rude, the audience gets angry but if you let it go on, it ruins the performance. I choose people very carefully during a show and so far, haven't had any real problems ... but I'm not looking forward to the first time!

"If this was a magic show, I would be able to 'connect' with every person every time. But it's not a magic show...and sometimes it's very difficult or takes a really long time for me to be able to put myself on the same wavelength as a person I am trying to read. Thank you for coming up to help me. I appreciate it."

Picking the right volunteer for the right effect is critical. My rule of thumb is to use True Believer volunteers for the areas where they could screw me up (CT or MOABT, for example) OR to revise my presentation so that they can't mess me up. I'll have the guy show the word he's chosen to someone else for instance.

David

Or say I need to choose one of these 2 ppl. Whoever has the strongest mental will to send their messages to me I will choose.
And select between one who you like and the one who you want gone. Thank the bad apple for their part and send them back to their seat.

I dealt with a problematic assistant. I'm a card guy almost exclusively but when I shook his hand I knew I was in trouble. I'm a short non-muscular guy and he put as much grip strength as he could into my hand with this stupid smirking grin on his face. It was like he was daring me to call him out for the gorilla grip. Once I got my hand back I changed the routine on the spot. I do not do any mentalism at all, I'm a card/comedy guy but I switched. I asked him to think of his happiest memory and think about the parts that made him so happy. I would then "divine" those memories to the surprise of everyone. Go look up a video of Rob Zabrecky on Penn and Teller: Fool Us from earlier this year. He was my inspiration for the bit and it worked.

I looked into his eyes nonchalantly and then clapped my hand over my mouth in disgust, looking much like I was going to jettison breakfast. "I totally get the first part, I'd be into that too. I totally dig the second part, I'd be into that too. But doing that to a restrained chicken, that's too sick for cable TV my friend. Get away from me, go, go, please, go."

Giving him that much attention wasn't ideal but it got him out of my routine, entertained the people, and make him look bizarre. I'm pleased with it.

I'm not a pro stage performer, so maybe my perspective is out of context, but humiliating people can be a bad move. In glad it worked for you, but I wouldn't make a habit of it. Some people will react in ways that "normal" people don't. Asocial types are thankfully few and far between, but they are out there, and nothing unmasks a psychopath like public humiliation.

I concur but I'd asked people who wanted to help to raise their hand. When his hand went up, it wasn't me picking on the guy. If he didn't want to come up he shouldn't have raised his hand. I gambled with my response but he gambled with trying to show me up. I did learn a valuable lesson: my hands are too critical to what I want to do to for the rest of my life to shake hands with anybody I don't have to shake hands with. Too many meatheads don't like the idea of being in a situation where being able to tear a phone truck in half doesn't mean anything.

If he wants to settle the "score" at a later time he's welcome to do so but much like the performance; it will be a gamble.

Almost makes you want to get a PK chair and shock their ass a couple of times.