You don't have to apologise for being you. And although we discuss mind reading at length on these forums, none of us can truly understand the day to day lives of people we know here. I, for one, had no idea what you were on about or why you'd decided to leave. It's amazing how, when things get dark, we can feel so exposed, yet people go on with their daily lives, oblivious, yet your mind tells you EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT ME. Which of course, they don't.

Being creative is pretty painful most of the time. I often think about how nice it would to be simple, unable to create a thing yet ignorantly blissful.

But then I think... nah. And decide to accept I have an unruly mind and get on with it.

Mental health issues SUCK and I think you're brave to discuss them. That inner voice can really get the better of you sometimes.

Guilt is a terrible thing, usually reserved for people who don't deserve it. Most people who aught to feel guilty had no moral compass in the first place, so be glad that you ever had one at all.

If you did a poll on here about some of the crazy stuff we've got up to and been involved in I think you'd be surprised, possibly shocked and occasionally freaked out, but life is about experience and it sounds like you've had your fair share!

Perhaps you should write a book about it.

Anyway, I'm glad you're still here.

Now write some more stuff!

x

Sadu, working on your problems is where it starts. Don't despair, every life can be turned around. And leave the past in the past, where it belongs. Best of luck on the way back.

Sudo keep posting.
As I said your post are an inspiration.

Much respect for telling the reason why you wanted to stop posting.
Now get back in the saddle and be a part of this great electronic community.

Sudo:

We are your brothers, and some of would have reasons to affirm, and love, and value you even more now than before.

Feel free to pm me,

George

Hey,Sudo
Not, sure if I ever told you this ?
But, my " Star Number " is (69).

You, have many friends here !!!

~G

Status Update:

I have been released from the hospital. At the moment I am homeless, though I have used the last of my funds to secure temporary lodgings for a week. I have a crisis team working with me who are trying to locate housing for me through the Mental Health Association, though the waiting list is extremely long and is also dependent on me going on disability. So in between Doctors appointments, Psychiatric appointments, and trying to find an apartment, I am working hard to try and finish several more manuscripts that I have been working on for the last few months to upload to my website. I am *praying* that I will be able to generate enough income from this to be able to find an apartment. If it doesn't work out, I don't know what I'm going to do...

Thank-you once again for all the words of encouragement. They mean a lot to me as I try to navigate through these choppy waters and help me to feel not so alone. It has been suggested to me that I put up a paypal link should anybody wish to make an anonymous donation to try and help out, but I don't like asking for help. Do you guys think that might be a good idea or should I just try to solely rely on getting this material published?

I hate feeling so helpless. I am sorry to be sharing this with you all but I am really grasping at straws right now and trying everything I can to keep my head above the water.

Status Update:

Not 5 mins after posting the last message, I got a call and now have an apartment! So some things are starting to fall in place at least. Thank goodness.

That's one down, now 2,987,698,432 more things to go. (Or so it feels.)

Sudo:

I am grateful for the apartment. Please keep us posted.

George

One step at a time.
And there's nothing wrong with asking for help!

It sounds like you are on the right path, Sudo.

Thanks so much for sharing.

What's wrong with putting up a donation link? It's not uncommon. Or you could have two price options for the manuscripts, one at the "standard" rate and one with a higher "support" price.

I just got your manuscripts from you website - nice work. Please keep adding the ones you're finishing. I am sure there is plenty of interest in them.

All the best to you!

Sudo I am sure from what I have seen in your work.
You will be able to accomplish any thing you want.
And get back on track with your life.
Todd