The funeral business is getting slow these days. Seems like people are leaning toward cremation because of the expense of full-body disposal. I have a crematorium but the drop in revenue per capita does not help in the limited town of Hayville, so I thought I'd look for a second job. Since there is nothing in the local paper, I resulted to checking the internet and found a State job that seemed pretty good. The ad read, "Part-time job for the right person. Involves face to face conversations with our customers and requires multi-language skills." Well, I applied and was invited to an interview, dressed up in my freshly cleaned and pressed tux,even cut my hair and shaved. I must admit, I was looking a bit spiffy. Even Sally was impressed at how well I cleaned up. The interviewer was a young man in his 50's so I thought I might have a good chance at getting the job. Well, to make the story a bit shorter, I was doing well until asked how many languages I spoke. "five, including English," I replied. Then the events turned against me when he asked what they were. I listed them and he said, "Those are all dead languages." I don't know what they expect from a mortician these days. Guess it's back to reading the obituaries and trying to dig up some new business.

Weepin' Willie
House of Discount Funerals and Funeral Supplies
Founder of Hayville School of Embalming, Cremation, and Culinary Science

Willie,

I'm sorry to hear that you 'deadn't' get the job. By the way, your website seems to be dead, too. Death seems to be contageous. Luc.

Yes the website is a dead end so I had to unplug it.