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Gourmet Loyal user 289 Posts |
The following short story evolved out of my attempt to come up with my own presentation for Bob Cassidy's "Name/Place" routine.
Hope you enjoy Time And Place A Mentalism Short Story / Name Place Presentation "Get your fat ass in there before it's too late for you to fit through that door, Ricardo“, Mr. Cassidy snarked at a roughly 265-pound sophomore leaning against the classroom’s door frame, a half-eaten Snickers bar in his right hand. "I really think you shouldn’t talk like that to your students" Ricardo replied. Mr. Cassidy squeezed past him and set a leather bag down on the teacher's desk. "And I really think..." mimicked Mr. Cassidy Ricardo's way of talking, “...you shouldn't be eating that crap anymore, like you promised me you would, if I got you to the next grade, and here we are…“ Mr. Cassidy was the only one who dared to speak to Ricardo this way and Mr. Cassidy spoke to everyone that way and surpringly also got away with it. He had this gift. Being the strictest but also the most popular teacher at his school, with the students as well as with his colleague, it was as if he could read minds, and in fact this reputation preceded him. I watched Ricardo sit down in a chair way too small for his size and Mr. Cassidy began the lesson. Her name was Kayleigh. She was the prettiest girl in class, and she was sitting to my left. However, she only had eyes for Matt, who sat to my right and gave Kayleigh the same languishing looks that she gave him. It was clear that the two were head over heels in love with each other. They were throwing air kisses and forming unspoken, silent words and phrases with their lips, seemingly trying to make up the time and place for a date after school. As if they couldn’t talk to each other in the hallway after class…. "Can't you guys just talk to each other in the hallway after my class?", Mr. Cassidy barked at the two of them. I had to grin involuntarily.... "And you ? What are you grinning at?", his eyes now fixed on me. „Nothing, Mr. Cassidy… It's just that I was thinking ..." I started when he interrupted me, “That's the problem, less thinking and more listening from now on... And to you lovers, plan your teenage pregnancy outside of my class....So, where was I?" Mr. Cassidy turned to the blackboard and continued with the lesson. I was following Mr. Cassidy, when the lovers next to me began writing something on small pieces of paper, folded them several times, and gestured at me to receive the other one’s written message and pass it on. Reluctantly, I took on the task of messenger, and the moment I held both pieces of paper in my hand, I felt Mr. Cassidy's penetrating gaze resting on us. "What is it now again? Are we secretly writing love letters to each other, huh? And you are helping them, too?", Mr. Cassidy reared up in front of me. „So, either you're bored with the subject, or what would be MUCH worse, my person. Give me that..." He held out his hand to me and I hesitantly put one of the two folded pieces of paper into it. He held it between the tip of his fingers, and rummaged out a lighter from his trouser pocket. “Normally I would read this aloud in front of all the other students, but I'll spare us that this time and simply burn it.“ He lit the piece of paper over the classroom’s sink, and we watched it burn in his hand before he finally threw it in and turned on the faucet. Ricardo commented this with „Fact is, you’re burning your fingers… and besides, I'm pretty sure that it is against federal law, to light up a fire in a closed school building.“ Ricardo was obviously happy to inform his teacher. Mr. Cassidy gave Ricardo an annoyed look. "Thank you, Retardo. I’ll keep that in mind…" and then back to me „… you have another written message like that, hidden in your hand, right?" "Yes..." I admitted meekly, and held out the second piece of paper to him, expecting him to burn that one, too. "You know what? Keep it or throw it away, it doesn’t matter. I know what's written on it anyway…“, he said. Ricardo laughed and looked around at his classmates, “You can't know that, how could you?" „Yes, I do, and I can prove it..." Mr Cassidy replied. He took what looked like a stack of small sheets of paper from his trouser's pocket and looked at me and my two seat neighbors inquiringly. Examining us with some kind of X-ray vision, he eventually scribbled something on the first piece of paper in his hand, crossed it out, and scribbled something on the next piece. "It's about a very specific time…“, he murmured more to himself but loud enough for everyone to hear. I saw Kayleigh’s eyebrow raised. „Here, Ricardo, make yourself useful and hold onto this...but don't look at it, yet“ Ricardo held the piece of paper, a skeptical and amused look on his face. "I committed myself and wrote down over there, what is written on that note you’re holding, now give it to me..." I handed Mr. Cassidy the remaining folded piece of paper in my hand. He unfolded it and read aloud: "5:30 p.m…. Ricardo, what did I write down ?" The entire class held its breath… "5:30 p.m., Mr. Cassidy“, Ricardo explained incredulously. Kayleigh's jaw dropped. “That’s exactly the time I was thinking of…“, she said in disbelief. A murmur went through the rows of classmates. "What did I tell you, guys?“ Mr. Cassidy asked. "That's all ********!“, Ricardo shouted into the room. "You just guessed or somehow happened to read what was on it. There is no such thing as mind reading! If you really can read minds, what was on the other piece of paper? The one that is burned now?" "Yeah, right! What was on my note?“ Matt asked. "Well, now that it's burned, there's no proof of it, and you'll probably just say that I'm wrong". Matt quickly scribbled something in his notebook, "Here, I wrote it down again. What am I thinking about right now?" Mr. Cassidy fixed Matt for a few seconds and began, "You're thinking about meeting Kayleigh today at 5:30 p.m. in the parking lot in front of the library, aren't you?" Wordlessly, Matt turned over his notebook and showed the class what he had written: “Library Parking Lot" „You’re scaring me, Mr. Cassidy“, Ricardo explained. He was shaking his head as me and my classmates applauded our teacher. „Can we now please return to this class subject?“, Mr. Cassidy asked impatiently. End |
John C Eternal Order I THINK therefore I wrote 12945 Posts |
Beautiful writing. but kind of long I think.
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Gourmet Loyal user 289 Posts |
Quote:
On Apr 18, 2022, John C wrote: Thank you very much ⭐️. It's a framework one could use to justify the writing and destroying of the billets. In a show, I would shorten it or maybe not, depends on the audience. |
George Hunter Inner circle 2013 Posts |
I like it. It begins too abruptly. Try even a brief intro: Like, "Students were filing into Mr. Cassidy"s class room."
Give us a little context and it is a winner. Some of the language may be prohibited in real class rooms, so edit some of that. George |
MysticJohn New user 51 Posts |
Sounds like a 40 minute Name/Place routine lol
But a good concept just a bit shorter buddy. |
Matt Pulsar Inner circle 1130 Posts |
Nice. Great story, and I like the framework. Also, it was easy to see Bob in the role which was a nice memory of him. Thanks You could defiantly make this into a great experience for the audience.
Belief Manifests Reality.
Nebula CT: https://www.penguinmagic.com/p/8517 |
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