...your wife tells you that you should KNOW what's upsetting her, and you tell her, "What do you think I am, a mentalist?"

...your date thinks you're a perv because you practice PW while standing in line with her.

...she then thinks you've got ESP (Especially Small P....)

...so she asks you if you're happy to see her, or is that a pencil in your pocket?

When taking an exam, you put your answers in a sealed envelope, and ask the correct answers to be revealed before the envelope is opened.

You're constantly telling yourself- "Ok, I'll learn just this one effect... but it'll definitely be my last CARD trick!"

...and the ONE card trick is yet another variation of ACAAN.

You've thrown more jerry-rigged gadgets together with paper clips, glue stick, and rubber bands than McGuyver.

...when you check into a hotel, you politely ask if you can have some additional BLANK room key cards.

Your magic drawer only has Rubber Cement and Exacto blades in it.

Reminds me that when my friends and I go to a bar and order beer, they always ask on my behalf for a spoon or fork. Just looking at the astonished face of the barman being asked for "beer with fork" is priceless

Someone asks you if you do impressions, and you answer "only pre-show".

You're at the baseball game... someone asks, "How many outs are there?", and you answer "Six, if you include the one under your seat."

...people think you are a professional fighter, because you've got books named
Kolossal Killer, Stunners, and Dim Mak in your library.

...people think you are a sex addict, because you've got books named
Explicit Content, Fem Fatale, the Lolita System, and X in your library.

...people think you are an idiot, because you've got books named
Ball and Tube, Hidden In Plain Sight, The Little Box That Could, and Think Pink.

When you read the 13 steps in stead of the 12 step

When you have Banachek on speed dial

When you on christmas day your gift card to staples is more important than your new Ascanio book

Brilliant.(thank you)

Thanks, Roth. Coming from a wordsmith like yourself, that means the world.

This post just keeps getting better and better!

You have the cheapest index cards in the world, you know what a china marker is, and the pie dough ends up wrapped around your head.

Like that Tom and Gabes also.

-Jim

When you have a poster of Jon Stetson, and Max Maven in your house.

...When you have anything of Max Maven's in your house.


Posted: Dec 30, 2006 12:42am
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Your buddies come over to play a game of poker, and despite the ten decks of cards on the table, you have to search for a half hour to find the one that's "usable."