The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Penny for your thoughts » » Airport security (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3
Lee Darrow
View Profile
V.I.P.
Chicago, IL USA
3588 Posts

Profile of Lee Darrow
I absolutely agree, Richard. I was wearing a suit and "dress gym shoes" the kind that look like dress shoes. Even wore a tie and, at 51 (at the time), I hardly looked like someone who was anything but a businessman (I even had cut the hair (what's left of it) to "business length" - off the collar, etc.). My act, complete with business cards and promotional brochures, were in my briefcase, which was a carry-on. I have run into questions before and having that material handy saves time, usually.

I really feel that, in the early days of the TSA and the Patriot Act (we're still IN the early days for them), there will be a long period before things standardize with regards to airport security. It's just the nature of how things are working in a post-9/11 world.

I guess I just got the "overzealous shift" at the security desk that day. Smile

Lee Darrow, C.H.

P.S. Enrique - great joke - I loved it. However, in all fairness, I have to admit that I am very allergic to lead - especially lead that is flying at me faster than the speed of sound! Smile
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
Richard Osterlind
View Profile
V.I.P.
2214 Posts

Profile of Richard Osterlind
Lee,

As I just mentioned, the "bonus section" of my new ebook talks about air travel. Let me reprint just a bit of it here as it pertains to your past plight!



Let’s start at the beginning. Never allow yourself to become upset during air travel. Please remember that all airline employees are not real people, but rather androids. (Real people were replaced in late 1989) Because they are programmed to say certain things, it is pointless to question or argue with them in any way. They will simply repeat the required response over and over again. Luckily, with the advancement of science, the new kiosk machines are largely replacing these rather outdated units and soon their only function will be to place destination tags on your luggage.
The security force, however, are not robotics. They are ex-prison guards. It is highly recommended not to make eye contact and to obey everything they say. The disrobing lines at the X-ray machines are run by them. They have total authority over your life and have the right to shoot you if they so choose. Incidents of this, however, are rare and only occur when a suspected bad guy attempts to gain access into the secure area with a dangerous weapon – such a nail clipper or metal key ring. Be aware of accidentally leaving such articles in your pockets. You can avoid any problems by making sure everything you carry on board is purchased at the 5 and under department of your local Toys–R-Us store.
(On a minor note, occasionally your ticket will have the letters SSS printed on it. This does not mean you are a very special person. It means you have been selected for a full body (and cavity) search. This, of course, is another attempt to capture bad guys. If you are not an old lady over the age of 80 or a young mother with a baby, there is no need to worry about this. They are the only ones ever selected for this search.)
Samuel Catoe
View Profile
Inner circle
South Carolina
1256 Posts

Profile of Samuel Catoe
That was funny Richard!! And this is coming from a CURRENT prison guard. Smile
Author of Illusions of Influence, a treatise on Equivoque.
PM me for details and availability.
Richard Osterlind
View Profile
V.I.P.
2214 Posts

Profile of Richard Osterlind
Quote:
On 2005-02-28 08:10, Samuel Catoe wrote:
That was funny Richard!! And this is coming from a CURRENT prison guard. Smile


Opps! Sorry about that, Sam! (Just give me enough time and I ALWAYS stick my foot in my mouth!)
enriqueenriquez
View Profile
Inner circle
New York
1287 Posts

Profile of enriqueenriquez
Great bit Richard!

I understand that’s part of your book, but It would be a powerful comedy piece on stage.
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Penny for your thoughts » » Airport security (0 Likes)
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.1 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL