I know there are similar posts to this out here, bu I just need to get this off my chest. I did a family party today. There were about 20 children and 25 adults. All of the children and half of the adults were in the room where I did the show. There was one child who was routinely yelling out during my show, getting up and trying to grab my props out of my hands, etc. Of course, niether of his parents were in the room. I tried all of the usual methods of controlling the situation but it didn't matter with this kid. I knew his father was a police officer, so I asked one of the adults to get him so I could have a "trained professional" lock me up for my thumbcuff escape. Even with his father there the kid kept acting up - his father said something to him only once, but the kid still didn't stop. At one point his older sister got up, got a large piece of packing tape and came over and put it over his mouth! He just ripped it off and kept right on going. By the way - he is 10 years old so he should certainly know better. Because of this kid, and to a large extent his father's lack of consideration, I couldn't get into the tempo I like for my show. I ended up leaving out 4 routines that I normally would have done and ended the show a bit early.

The woman who hired me apologized for his behavior after the show and said she would talk with his parents. I hope she does, even though I doubt it will do much good.

Thanks for letting me vent!

You do a very good vent routine!
(Ok, that's a horrible pun...)
It happens...it's like the "Murphy's Law" of Magic...you're gonna get a party like this once in a while....one of the reasons I don't do Birthday's. I do school and library shows...no birthdays. The kids are on "vacation" on the weekends, and they can get "almost" as crazy as adults when catarting all that weekly pent up energy...whalla, the fun gig you did.
Sorry it happened....I won't say "you should have done this..." because sometimes there's not much you can do...except leave early, which you were entitled to do!
Chris

Tony,

When I talk with the booking parent, I explain then that I always leave an out if I have a child I just CAN'T control. I WILL cut the show short! Thankfully I haven't had to do this, but I always let the client know.

Robert Jones
MRJPRO.c

This does happen occasionally, and this kid(s) needs to be the center of attention. I did a party, knowing in advance, there would be several children with ADDS and some of them are quite uncontrollable.

Putting on my thinking caps, I decided to bring a double change bag and six small silks. When one came up I handed him a silk and asked him to put it in the bag, and it vanished. Then escorted him to his parents. This worked well. The only thing, which I considered minor given the circumstance, it disrupted the continuity of the routine, but no one seemed to mind that. It was like it was expected. Just before the end I put the remaining silks in the bag, vanished them and produced them all tied together. (Of course I had all the kids help with the magic word)

Since that time, I had that change bag and silks ready for if I every need to do that again or similar circumstances arise.

That's good advice, Dennis. Does anyone think it would have been inappropriate to quietly say something to the father when he was helping me with the thumbcuffs?

First you need to determine if the child is being deliberately bold or just hyperactive.

A hyperactive child will usually calm down if spoken to gently but will be hyperactive again within five minutes.

Sounds like in this case the child was just being obnoxious. I've tried many ways of dealing with this. It's easier to deal with if you find out before your show starts. Most times you won't realise there's a problem until the show is underway and you are Mr Nice Guy.

You start with some gentle but firm remarks to the child. If they don't work you may have to come down hard and sharp, letting the child know who is running the show. It goes against the grain but it is your show and you are there to entertain ALL the children. You let them know that THEIR BEHAVIOUR is not acceptable. Don't make put down remarks about them, just their behaviour.

It's much easier to deal with this towards the beginning of your show as you can then make friends again with the child later on in the show, perhaps having them hold something or take part in a competition. Then they know you aren't still mad at them.

Also realise that every entertainer regardless of experience meets similar situations. With expereince though you can anticipate a lot of potential problems and eliminate them before they occur.

There are some fine ideas for dealing with children's behaviour on this thread, from the Pine Belt Magic Forum: Bad Kids.

Ignore my confusing tangent early on the thread( ). But you can read how I tried one of the ideas, and it worked well.

- Donald

Tony, Let me just say, I know that feeling. UGH!!!! I'm glad to see you can keep your wits about you. Just remember, your next gig will go better. Good luck and kepp the faith!!!

Get a empty cloth and show the kids its empty and then produce a PADDLE!!! hehehehe. Just sit there and ponder "hmmm I wonder what this is for?" As you look at that problem child! LOL

Robert

I think we all get in these situations sometimes !
A friend of mine simply stops the show and won't start until the child carms down. I don't do this but he swears it works. Its rough on the other children.

It depends on why the child is acting up. If he wants attention then reacting to him may make him worse. Gagging him certainly will. And producing a paddle only makes him feel he can be part of the act.
Its a no win position. My usual answer is to ignore him. that's the same advice which is sometimes given about hecklers.

Sometimes though the child doesn't realise that his behavior is wrong and telling him nicely will work. It can be encoraged by a the magician doing too many sucker tricks, getting the children to shout and react, and one becomes overexcited.
Another friend tells the children that he is trying to fool them, and they must try to catch him out. Its no wonder they carry on when they see another magician !

What I'm trying to say, in a long way is that there isn't one answer. You have to treat each individually. Just do the best you can and keep your sence of humour.
Remain the good guy.

Let's not do birthdays anymore.

On second thought, I won't post that. It's just silly, Sarcastic, and will be misunderstood.

It is a very difficult situation, one we all dread.

I wonder if anyone has an idea of how to include something in the booking letter under "Tips, Ideas and Suggestions" about problem children.

I know that I would rather not include anything negative, and if I have to it must sound positive. But it might be handy to have it in print so that they know what you will do and what you expect of them.

I think with these kinds of situations you just have to be a parent yourself. I don't mean literally already be a parent, just do what you'd do with your own kids ideally. Notice I said "IDEALLY".
Of course in school and library shows the children act perfectly...NOT!
I give them the "look" (check out my avatar...that's the "look"), or I watch them...they notice this and become quiet...or I stop the show...pretty much what was said above. Then there's THIS one:
Listen to what the child(ren) is saying...suddenly start repeating whatever they are saying as if you're just doing the show...they will suddenly realize what you're doing and be VERY quiet...this always gets a laugh! I usually end it with a comment "Oh, I thought this was YOUR show!" they say "no" or whatever, then I ask "shall we get on with it, then?" in a mock snooty voice.
I do this when I can get away with it or need it. Try it out..it's fun! The audiences love it!
Chris

As others have mentioned it is likely the kid has ADHD or some other kind of behavioral problem you won't be able to solve with the usual techniques we do during a show. Just know the child is equally annoying to the other kids and they all appreciated what you were doing.

Sometimes other parents and other kids get so used to this kind of acting out that they don't have the same perspective. From their point of view he may not have been as bad as he has been in the past. In any case your are not there to be a disciplinarian or a therapist, just give the best show you can and smile.

Just be thankful not all shows go the same way.

Frank Tougas

Frank,
Amen to that! Thank God this is the rare exception, not the rule.

Tony

I have found if you plug the kids mouth and nose at the same time and count to 10, they normally fall right to sleep!
Wait did I say that? Anyway, I have had many shows like that. A lot of them are repeat shows for Girl Scouts or even my nephew's birthday parties. I have found when you take the disruptive kid and assign him/her a task, they will calm down with the new job description I've just given them. A lot of times, it's a meaningless little task such as asking them to sit on a road case and make sure no one can open it... My nephew is a hyper boy and feels it makes him look really cool to his little friends if he describes how he has seen all my tricks or what my suprise load in the square circle is... when I do a show for his parties or if he is present at a classroom show, I normally pick him as my helper. It is his job to walk my assistants back to their seat, make sure my podium doors stay closed and no one is behind me while I am performing. It gives him a little responsability and helps make the show go smoother...
Hope this helps...
If not, the nose and mouth thing is a great alternative...
Lots of Laughs,
Bryan Gilles

Tony,
At least the hostess was aware of the problem!

You aren't going to correct 10 years of problem with a half-hour of (attempted) discipline.

Don't stop the show; it IS unfair to the other kids and just increases the attention that the Evil One is getting (which is what he or she wants).

Den's idea with the silks and change bag is a good one and no one is going to notice that the tempo has been briefly interrupted.

First, thank you all for the ideas. Den, I like your idea a lot and will give it a try in the future. Chris, I think I'll try your idea when all else fails.

Peter - In an effort to exceed the client's expectations I usually perform for about 15 or 20 minutes longer than they expect me too. When I ended the show early it was actually right about on time from the client's perspective. Also, I ended it the way I normally would, without indicating that the show could have run longer. The audience was none the wiser.

By the way, I just got home from another family party for a first communion and it went GREAT. Thank the Lord the kid from last week didn't show up!

Tony