I have a problem (among many others)

My sister in law called my wife very excited about a psychic she got a voucher to go ( I will not give out the psychic name) and visit. Nothing wrong there... she was very impressed with the knowledge this lady was able to tell about her, ok harmless fun, now she has now booked a session from this lady @$160 per hour to continue with her journey.
Now I know everyone has their own opinions etc about whether it is real or not. Personally from what I have hard about the experience with my sister in law, this is not very real at all. I am by no means an expert on cold/hot reading, but what has come out so far is information I could find easily about her ( did I mention her friend has been seeing this psychic for 3 years!)
Up to my sister in law seeing this psychic she was a complete non believer in this type of stuff, now I see her handing over money to someone who in my opinion is a rip off merchant.
Ok my question, do I show her what’s going on? I know some will argue that about results she has are justifiable but, when someone is going to be guided by someone who is a fake (yes that’s what I think) do I have an obligation to tell her (tactfully of course)
At $160 a throw and a 'series' of sessions are already being talked about, this gets my back up. This isn't entertainment as my sister in-law has now fully belief in this lady and her abilities and her spirit guides.

Anyone's view on how they would handle this would be appreciated

Kind regards

Steve

Steve:

If I were you I would tell her, politely and respectfully, what your opinion is of the psychic, and also I would explain about hot and cold reading techniques. I would suggest that it's up to her to make her own mind up, but that it's good to be fully informed.

Personally I would mind yor own business - it´s her money and its´up to her what to do with it. No harm seems to be coming from this and it hardly sounds like she is dependent on the psychic.

Thing is, if she believes then it´s unlikely you can shift her perspective and your relationship will most likely suffer as a result. If you cae about your relationship then let it be. It´s a gamble and you are running a serious risk of losing it.

Believers and non-believers can both be (rightly or wrongly) extremely stubborn in their beliefs.

I would talk to her and explain about hot and cold reading techniques as well. As long as it was for entertainment I see nothing wrong with it but once she starts going to her for actual guidance I think it's your duty, as someone who cares about her, to let her know what's going on. If not to change her mind, atleast to make her aware of what could be taking place and maybe she will change her mind later.

IMO, you have exactly as much obligation to talk to her as you would if she were taking her car to a mechanic that you had good reason to believe was ripping her off. Be respectful and non-confrontational, but by all means tell her. You might get through to her, you might not, but your chances are much better now than they'll be several months and many hundreds of dollars from now. And even if you don't, at least you tried.

All the above are good comments.
My tuppence worth is as follows:
1) Don't tell her you suspect anything at all (albeit at $160 a pop I feel this goes slightly beyond the mere realms of enyertainment). Why get her back up? Your on the same side remember.
2) Do suggest that she tapes the reading and then later allow you to analyse it (all decent readers allow this to happen).
3) When you sit down with her do agree with her on the fascinating(?) points raised by the psychic, before suggesting you both take a closer look in order to investigate if it is at all 'possible' that this information could have been discovered (or even fumbled upon) by means other than what is purported.
4) Remember don't sell, rather tell. Your remit at this point is merely to sow seeds before allowing this lady to tend her own garden (feed a man a fish for a day...etc).

I 'think' this sounds fishy. Having said that, as many in here know, I am on close terms with a few working mediums who I respect completely, and I have seen and heard things over the years that I personally have not been able to explain through the use of 'our' art.

Bobser

If I thought a family member or close friend was being taken advantage of, I might make an appointment myself to see the psychic. It could be that I have it all wrong, it might end up that he finds out he has it all wrong.

Tony

Bartlewizard,
I understand the side you are coming from. But if you talk to a family member about cold and hot reading and just educate them. It is not going to ruin a family relationship. after you have explained what cold reading is then you can leave it up to them to make the choice. I highly doubt this sister in law is going to hate you for that. It seems really extreme.

Personally I would just educate them and then let them make the decision. If they decide to go through with it. That is there choice and it is time to keep your mouth shut. I would feel horrible if I didn't at least talk to them before they went the first time.

I misread the title and eagerly dropped in to join a discussion on 'physics'...bugger...

CarlD

Wow bartlewizard you must not be able to communicate with people very well. If you cant educate people on a principal like cold reading without starting a family fued then you should look at your approach.

It is really easy. I have spoke with friends and family about much harder things than cold reading and if anything after it is over we are closer than when we started. Its all about your approach!!!

Posted: Feb 14, 2006 11:25am
I agree Tony's approach is a good way of doing it. If you find out that the psychic is a fraud then what? You are right back where you started. You still have to tell your family member it is a rip off.

Posted: Feb 14, 2006 11:41am
If they are already talking about future appointments then the "drip drip drip" is already happening.

don't tell her she is going to get ripped off. Just show what you can do with cold reading. Let her make up her mind from there. If she goes forward with it. That is the end. If she does not do it. That is the end.

I agree with bartlewizard.
The original description reminds me of Tony Robbins <G>
It is very difficult to get through to the converted, and there is the chance that they could be right. But go and see the guru and observe.

Tony

The psychic is either ripping your sister-in -law off,or is deluded.There is no middle ground-not likely to be genuine now is he/she? Go to the reading with her and tell her not to give any feedback,get a reading yourself maybe and trip the psychic up.Its taking money for a service that is a lie,its outside the realms of entertainment in my view,when talk of spirit guides etc is raised.These people are just charlatans.
This applys to anyone who performs psychic readings,unless stated it is purely magic tricks.I don't care how many famous magicians have done it,dont make it right.

I agree with Harry. Unless she takes it as pure entertainment (and I doubt she does considering the description), she is being ripped off. I don't see much of a difference between pretending to be a real psychic and getting paid for it and pretending to be a real psychologist and taking money for your services. Sure, I could give you some good advice about your life, but am I really qualified as I say I am? In both cases you offer guidance based on one thing while claiming it to be based on something else. The problem is that the client is paying for the other thing, and as good as the psychic advices might be, that's not what she or he is being paid for.

So far the taping of the session idea seems like the best answer. Give her a cooling off period and then go over the tape with her. If she still feels that it was worth the money, hey, it's her money. I know people who throw more than that away on the lottery every week.

Not wanting to put out fire with gasoline but; I love the fact that bartlewizard
has been lumped in with 'Millard Longman, Ford Kross, Richard Webster, Bob Cassidy, Docc Hilford and Kenton Knepper'. Of course, he is the one doing the lumping, but it's lumping none the less. Congrats.

Some people just need something to believe in...


Personally I don't know

Some people should get a life.I'd like to see all proponents for psychic abilities head over to Randi forum and discuss it there;instead of playing safe on here.

The taping seems a good idea, I will suggest that.
I would like to show her how these types of reading can be performed. My main concern is that
a) she appears to be out the fleece people and
b) she no real qualifcation to warrent the advise she is giving out.

I am not saying my sister is vunerable but if someone tell you something is safe yet, it is quite apparent it is not, and I know it is not ( sorry I can't expland on the idea) I guess it is my duty to show her.
that's why I think a demonstration would works wonders, albeit in my very begineer way.
I have checked this pyschic web site out, and is just the usual mumbo-jumbo.

I have a basic understanding of cold reading, but what are some of the things I should be looking for on this tape, as I am sure she is using a varity of methods.

many thanks for all yours help so far

regards

steve

Bartlewizard
I hope you saw my last post before they cleaned the place up.

Don't tell me to get a life...I'm a teenager, and I bet my life is ten times better than yours...
Anyways...
I am NOT a proponent for Psychics, I don't believe they exist...My post simply means that maybe we should let people believe what they want to believe.
Part of my original post ask "if you could prove God didn't exist to the world, Would You?"(I do belive in God by the way)...
This was deleted, thus making my post not make as much sense...

Obviously we are not allowed to talk about religion in this forum...so maybe it's not right to interfere with people's beliefs... Everyone needs something to keep then going.

Again, it was just my opinion...I'm not sure where I stand on the subject of ethics when it comes to how psychics make a living, so there's no need for rude (and extremely wrong comments)

The One

Maybe I should clarify something about this whole reading aspect.

According to our psychic, after reading her tarot card, "one doesn’t want to be put back into the pile", this is the one of a juggler who is looking behind him with some cups on a floor ( did I get that right?)(here is the card http://www.paranormality.com/tarot_five_of_cups.shtml ). she said that this is a certain man (she specificed his name ,Her interpretation is that this 'man' has no interst in her anymore and he has moved on.
The police have ADVISED her to disappear before this guy get 'out' he still repeatedly send very coded messages to various people that can be read as threat, the police know about this, but have said no direct threats are being made so they are powerless. But have advised her to drop her life and assume a new identify!
Yet our psychic is saying everything is fine ( btw my sister did not tell her about the police advice she has)
I haven’t really wanted to post this part of the reading on here, but I want to show why I have such concern about people doing such things. So should my sister believe the psychic and just not worry anymore, is the psychic going to take responsibility for anything that may happen, will anyone who support what she is doing take any responsibility for any incidents? I will leave everyone to answer that themselves.
Let me expand on my sister a little, this is a very responsible person and very intelligent, she doesn't take advise from anyone, however this psychic justified herself to my sister, and my sister believes her. Each 'revelation' of some past incident further validates in her mind this psychic’s ability. You and I would be looking at this psychic in a different light, heck even I not less than a year ago could well have been taken in my what she is saying, but I know that the tools to make a more informed decision about her.

I really don't want people to argue over this, and I know this can be a very heated topic. But from my personally experience over this forced me to seek out other view points on this. It I sometimes easy to sit there and say no harm done, but with what I have jut listed above is the same still true?

Regards

Steve