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card cheat
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Well, let's take a look at this situation.

When Mr. "Dizzle" made his first Café appearance in this thread, it was to position a question on the members' perception of a DVD and how well the moves would "hold up in the real world."

For about the last 2 or 3 weeks, the "Search" function here, at the Café, has been out of order and, since I knew this, I decided to search manually through this forum for the thread that contained several responses that could very well pass as answers to his question. Mr. O'Malley was certainly correct in his appraisal and analysis of my post by announcing that within it he located no sarcasm whatsoever. I, myself, had posted subsequently that I intended for no sarcasm to be included in said snippet; therefore, it was simply not sarcastic at all. Apparently, like everything else, it was open for interpretation, however.

Can I apologize? Sure I can. Do I think that I did anything that should warrant an apology? Nope! If you would like an apology, Mr. Dizzle, I would suggest you ask for one; you certainly sound as though you were offended by my post.

Mr. Dizzle then fired at me a post that asked me to keep my two cents for a rainy day. Two cents? I had not commented one iota on the content of the DVD: at this point I had only provided him with a link that would have lead him to a source of answers to his question and mentioned that no sarcasm was intended by me in my post. To be quite honest, it was I who thought that his response to my first post in this thread was a little sarcastic. Royal throne? 110 Expertly informed posts? Welcome to the Café?

First of all, there is no way that this person read all 110 of my posts. Secondly, not all 110 of my posts were "expertly informed", I never said that I am an expert of any sort; I am only a card cheat: no more or less. Lastly, I am not on the "Welcoming Committee" here at the Café. What responsibility do I have to welcome anyone? I could have just not posted an answer to his question, and not tried to help him. Perhaps this would have been more welcoming?

Then, Mr. Dizzle says that my knowledgeability is "to be determined." Hmm, that's interesting! Tell me, Mr. Dizzle, how do you plan on determining how much I know? Now tell me this, how can you possibly measure how much I don't know? In other words, what I post here might or might not represent accurately the sum total of my knowledge. Go ahead, determine.... By the way, that's sarcasm.

Saying that your first post in this thread was "greeted with less than open arms" tells me that you need a hug. Do you need a hizzle, Mr. Dizzle?

Good ole boy mentality? What's that? The vast majority of people here on this site are spread out over the entire planet and, I would imagine, don't know each other from Adam. What I don't get is that you say that a good ole boy mentality is what turns people away, and then you say that you are more of a good ole boy than I would expect. For your information, this website has a total of 23,795 members, and that number will most likely have increased in no less than an hour from now. How many people are really being turned away? Anyhow, if they are turned away by the sort of mindless, infantile, masturbatory bickering that you see here, I couldn't blame them.

Meijin and Halcon both made comments here that alluded to the fact that I have been of assistance to them in the past. Well, if that is really true, then I am glad. I have shared PMs with both of these gentlemen, and hope to do so in the future, as well.

As far as my being a magician, I am not. Never will be. I came to the Café to catch on to what was being said about card cheating by the magic community; no info is bad or worthless info, is my philosophy. Do I like card tricks? You bet! I just don't care to learn them. The techniques that I employ under-fire are for cheating; no "DLs" here, if you get my drift.

Meijin then makes a comment saying that it is possible that Mr. Dizzle is more talented than I am. Well, this might be true but I don't see how talent represents knowledge. I think that talent, ability, and knowledge are very, very separate considerations when it comes to crooked gambling practices and research. I study this full time, and will continue to until the day that I die. I cheat at cards. I get the money. If you are better than me, then that is really, really good: for you (and your audience.) I will say that I am not the one who asked what the best time to move at the kitchen table was, or what moves would get the money at the kitchen table. This brings me to another point:

I would suggest, Mr. Dizzle (mmm, love that name), that you be very careful about saying that you are knowledgeable in the area of cheating. You claim to be knowledgeable in the art of crooked gambling and then ask these sorts of questions. Would the moves fly in the real world?!? Kitchen table?!? Gimme a brizzle, Mr. Dizzle! If you cheated, at all, even once, you would know if the moves would fly or not. I will just come out and say the answer to the question, "Would the moves fly in the real world?"

Yes, and no. It all depends on the company that you find yourself in, the game you play, your abilities (or lack thereof) your nerve (you got plenty of that) the stakes... get it? The list of variables is endless, and if you had ever moved under the heat of so much as a burned-out matchstick, you would know this.

"Tunk?" "Pulling the lower cards?" "Juice Table?" What, is that what you find in health-food stores? Are you joking?

For the record, I agree with Mr. O'Malley: you went looking for strife and attack where there was none.

Card Chizzle
Vandy Grift
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Fo Shizzle Card Chizzel!! It makes you wonder why you even try sometimes dosen't it? No good deed goes unpunished. You posted a link and got slammed. Oh well..

Abracadizzle; You may want to start a new thread about your boys juice joint. I would actully like to hear about that. I'm a fan and a student of juice joints and gaffed dice.

Vandy
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
card cheat
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All in a day's wizzle!
tommy
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Thank you for posting all that - I'll waste no time reading it.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.

Tommy
Abracadizzle
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CC: You must have been up all night working on ripping me that new one. If you have to seriously question what a "juice table" is, then I can cement my original notion that you have seen a few too many movies and pumped yourself up full of gas with a few viewings of an Ortiz video. I do in fact know what I'm talking about and I can assure you, that last church fundraiser that you dealt a hanging bottom at does not put you in the league of real cheaters out there. You are not even qualified to bring a real cheater a glass of water. I do know when a cooler can be brought in and where. Whether it be all 8 decks at a casino blackjack game or at a kitchen table. I wanted to spark a conversation that might take us all down an interesting path of discussion and creativity. The person I was reffering to with the juice table and stripper deck is known by a few people. And this is one of those people that can get the money.

DOC: Think Cincinnati and a man with a voice that sounds a little like Mike Tyson and you'll know who I'm talking about.

Back to CC: Do you really think that anyone on this site buys that you are a legitimate cheat? I know I am not the first to challenge you on this. As far as being able to move under the heat, I have very reasonable doubts that you know anything of this. One saying that some people use about the best cheat in the world is that he would put a move on in front of the Pope. So, where does that leave you? Perhaps still trying to run the short change on the Brownie Scout that delivered your thin mints. I know enough to be dangerous to Myself and that's about it. But, I can assure you that that is enough to send you to the fridge in a card game to get me a beer any day of the week.... that is if your old enough. The only person you are cheating is yourself. You are cheating yourself out of a great deal of knowledge in this forum by pretending to already know something and being too proud to ask a question that may give you away as an armchair mover. I enjoyed the rhymes and thought you put into that last post of yours. I think I like Mr. Dizzle just fine... Just practice saying "would you like another beer Mr. Dizzle" a few times and you'll find yourself around card games as much as you like.
MagicKim
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Abracadizzle I couldn't find the DvD on ebay. The http://www.pocketacesllc.net doesn't ship to Europe =/. Any other idea? Smile Thanks for your reply though, perhaps it's just me being stupid when not finding it on ebay..

Best,

Kim
Abracadizzle
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MAgicKim: I talked to an old buddy of mine and he said he came across some of them online at a magic shop. He called and they said they could possibly ship overseas. I hope this helps. The one on ebay isn't on there when I look either.
http://www.hersheymagic.com
card cheat
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Quote:
On 2006-03-09 15:22, Abracadizzle wrote:
I do in fact know what I'm talking about and I can assure you, that last church fundraiser that you dealt a hanging bottom at does not put you in the league of real cheaters out there.


But I don't deal bottoms, and I sure as HELL don't go to church. You want to explain what you mean by this?

One day, I will "graduate" to the kitchen table. Looks like you might just have to wait until then for that beer, pal. I'll hurry....

CC
Mr. Z
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This thread, like so many on this wonderful forum, is akin to a group of midgets arguing who's taller.
"...if you have to say you is, you ain't."--Jimmy Hoffa
Abracadizzle
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Mr. Z.... Well Played (Jason)
silverking
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Quote:
On 2006-03-09 15:22, Abracadizzle wrote:
I can assure you, that last church fundraiser that you dealt a hanging bottom at does not put you in the league of real cheaters out there. You are not even qualified to bring a real cheater a glass of water.


You're coming on pretty strong my friend. It's EXTREMELY common here on the Café to refer folks to the search function to answer a question that's been asked, and answered, many times before. There are long threads, only weeks old, that are all about Sal's DVD, the search function would have taken you to them.
sodman12
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Who cares if hes a real cheat or not theres know way to know so why keep typing.
you can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all the time but never all of the people all the time.
Abracadizzle
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I care and I can think of a handful of others that do as well. What would be the problem with conceding that you are not a real cheat. I wouldn't think any less than I already do of CC and nor would anyone else. It doesn't change the value of his contributions to us and we could possibly look at some constructive brainstorming if people were more willing to check their ego at the door. There are no sages of wisdom on this topic in this forum... just a bunch of people brought together to learn something new or hone their skills a bit. If everyone would just step off of their little horses we could have some more fun. Sodman, are you a real cheat?
card cheat
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You know something? When I read that last post I honestly started to laugh out loud.

Where do you get off? How in the hell can you possibly know what I do or don't do when I play cards?

It cracks me up. Can you support ANYTHING you say?
Abracadizzle
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CC: I spotted you a mile away. How could you not know what a juice table was? And why would a real cheat have ever practiced an open riffle shuffle? I don't know any that would. Sounds like a magician that learned a few moves and is now an authentic cheater. Should I continue? Cheating is a lifestyle... not the ability to do a few moves and know what a few more are called. You wouldn't last a day as a cheat. What games do you cheat at? Obviously not blackjack... is it poker? Think the cold deck you bring in is going to make you some money if you somehow scramble to get it into play? What happens when a player goes all in right before you bring in a cooler and loses? Where's your partner on this forum that you are in collusion with. Does he cut the deck to precisely the location you need to bring the cold deck in? My guess you have no way of controlling where the cards are cut onto the table. Or is it a second that you use? What advantage are you really going to get from that if you have no idea which cards are where? Your open riffle shuffle would be rather obvious given how high you really must riffle with that grip to obtain any information. Please, share with all of us what you intend to do when you show up to a game being played with Kems. You may be succedding with a few moves among your friends... but when this "heat" that you like to speak of is on... what do you do? The others that have made this observation are just too polite to comment with the abrasiveness that I have. Save yourself some real embarassment and just give us some of your tips on the paddle move.
Abracadizzle
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I should ammend my last post. The comment about the few moves could be taken way out of context. Some of the best cheats I know of use only 1 or two moves... but they have truly mastered them...
card cheat
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Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
CC: I spotted you a mile away.

Okay....
Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
How could you not know what a juice table was?

The juice table comment was a joke.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
And why would a real cheat have ever practiced an open riffle shuffle? I don't know any that would.

Maybe you should just say that you don't know any, period. First of all, I am not a casino dealer. Second of all, casinos are not where I ply my trade. I go for private poker games. In these games, I have seen all sorts of shuffles and the open riffle is actually not so uncommon. Last week, I played in a tournament here, in a place that I just relocated to. From this tournament, I was invited to three different games (actually leaving for one in just a few minutes.) I play as often as I can, and believe wholeheartedly in blending in. If every other player in a game played for serious stakes is using the open riffle, then I would like to be able to, as well. I guess you think that conforming to table standards is ridiculous, as well.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Sounds like a magician that learned a few moves and is now an authentic cheater. Should I continue?

Do you really want me to answer that?

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Cheating is a lifestyle... not the ability to do a few moves and know what a few more are called. You wouldn't last a day as a cheat.

Thanks for the info.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
What games do you cheat at?

Poker. Mostly hold'em but, I like to get 5 stud games going wherever I can.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Obviously not blackjack...

YOU ARE GOOD....

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Think the cold deck you bring in is going to make you some money if you somehow scramble to get it into play?

Well, I usually don't switch the deck. Just not my style....

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
What happens when a player goes all in right before you bring in a cooler and loses?

Well, if he lost to me, I guess I would not really need the cooler, would I? What exactly is your point here? That's a pretty vague situation.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Where's your partner on this forum that you are in collusion with.

I believe you wanted a question mark at the end of that one (it's okay.) Well, my partner is not a member of this forum, and I really can't tell anyone anything about him. Let's just say that he is considerably well known. In fact, I would bet a large amount of money that you have seen his "name" in print.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Does he cut the deck to precisely the location you need to bring the cold deck in?

This sort of confuses me. Again, I don't play cold deck scams.

I have, however, located the cut for him before and, yes, he nails it. Is this really impressive to you or something? It's cutting to a brief man....

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
My guess you have no way of controlling where the cards are cut onto the table.

Actually, I have an absolutely gorgeous method of locating the cut with a brief. This just so happens to be a method that I developed. I'll tell you what. Let me get my hands on a video camera, and I will send the clip to a member here. I trust this person, and will let him speak for me. Is that good enough for you? If you think that I am going to post this method on an open forum, where it will get ***d out and poorly performed for the same people that I use it to take money from, you are totally insane.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Or is it a second that you use?

Yes, actually it is. When I don't stack the deck, I peek and second deal.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
What advantage are you really going to get from that if you have no idea which cards are where?

Well, I also peek quite a bit when I have the deck. Does that answer your question? Tell you what, I will also send a clip of me peeking to this member. See what he says. The peeks that I use are not the ones that have been exposed over and over again. One of them, I created. One of them, I picked up form a retired bustout dealer.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Your open riffle shuffle would be rather obvious given how high you really must riffle with that grip to obtain any information.

Oh! I get it now; you're an idiot.

I said in the other thread that I use a closed riffle: stacking or not. What I THEN said, is that I would like to be able to blend in anywhere I am so, I will practice the open riffle, as well.

It's like dealing twos from the mechanics grip. Sure, that's fine until you wind up in a game in which every player deals from the square John grip. You should always know more than one method.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Please, share with all of us what you intend to do when you show up to a game being played with Kems.

Well, I would start by buying in. Then....

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
You may be succedding with a few moves among your friends... but when this "heat" that you like to speak of is on... what do you do?

Oops, you certainly didn't "succeed" there, did you? That's okay, lots of people can't spell....

Well, this is another one of your "great" questions isn't it?

It all depends what kind of heat it is. I have had heat before that led to me playing on my belly for about 4 months, every week. I have also had heat that I wasn't really that concerned with. It all depends....

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
The others that have made this observation are just too polite to comment with the abrasiveness that I have.

Oh... that's sure nice of them.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:20, Abracadizzle wrote:
Save yourself some real embarassment and just give us some of your tips on the paddle move.

Perhaps we can contact the administrators of the site and ask them to change that ultra-cool user name of yours to "Rumpelstiltskizzle" since every time you open your mouth, another incoherent riddle hopelessly falls out of it.

Your turn.
CC
Mr. Z
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With the Hold Em boom, it's not hard to find a lot of "private games," but I'd venture to say the majority of them are the typical Friday night games played for beer money.

CC, I get the impression that you're a college-age magician who has a lot of buddies who play Hold Em, and thus that is your "area." Correct me if I'm wrong. If so, I think you can understand why Dizzle-bizzle takes exception with your seemingly artificial "persona."
"...if you have to say you is, you ain't."--Jimmy Hoffa
card cheat
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Quote:
On 2006-03-09 21:38, Mr. Z wrote:
CC, I get the impression that you're a college-age magician who has a lot of buddies who play Hold Em, and thus that is your "area."


College-age? Nope! A little older than that, try again.

Magician? Nope! I don't know any magic tricks, except for a few pretty cool self-working ones. I have, though, seen pictures of you in a bar with wall to wall magicians. You blend right in, man; looks good on you.

Lot of buddies? Nope! I really don't hang out with very many people, very often.

Quote:
On 2006-03-09 21:38, Mr. Z wrote:
Correct me if I'm wrong.

You stand corrected.

CC
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Quote:
On 2006-03-09 21:44, card cheat wrote:

I have, though, seen pictures of you in a bar with wall to wall magicians. You blend right in, man; looks good on you.



Thanks. Hopefully those were the pics when I was wowing them with Nickels to Dimes.
"...if you have to say you is, you ain't."--Jimmy Hoffa
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