If you've actually benefited from telemarketers or junk mail or even know someone who makes money doing so, then I offer my apologies in advance.

For anyone else, here's Andy Rooney's (60 Minutes) take on how to handle it all:




Three Little Words That Work !!

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.


(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.


This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help: When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

Thanks for the heads up Randy! There's some good info there!
:bikes:
:hypnodisk: KRaZy4kardz

Fortunately, over here we have the Telephone Preference Service.You register with them not to have telemarketing calls. any bona fife company should refer to this data base before calling.Otherwise they could find them selves with a hefty fine.

" Hello..I'm from the Acme Double galzing company."
" Oh ! I've never heard of you..are you a big company?"
"Indeed we are the largest double glazing company in the County"
" In that case you will have heard of the Telephone Preference Service, can I speak to your Managing Director please."
"Oh..erm..ah... I'm sorry our records probably haven't been updated yet.. sorry to call you."

Works every time.

Same goes for receiving junk mail you can register not to get any sent.

Howard

Very good ideas.

Shane Wiker

Before I got phone service with CallVantage a few years back living in the Midcities area of DFW assured one of getting telemarketed to death. I knew a few things about the business then, such as Firms selling to home telephones would strike business numbers from thier lists and delete from further lists aquired. So I put this message on my machine in a voice very near the Movie Guy, "Hello and thanks for calling the HoHo Hotline. We here at HoHo want you to know your call is important, and we care. However we're all in the back eating HoHo's so please leave your message at the beep." Most calls didn't get through the entire message and I was removed from call list. Sometimes a person would listen to the entire message and I would hear them laughing on my machine, a great service to those stuck in sweatshops smiling and dialing.

I've always found the trash can and the hang up to work quite well in a pinch.

Howard. We have the no call list here. But It doesn't make much difference, because there are tons of loop holes to it. If you are have in the past or currently doing business with the company that calls, They can call you. Political ads can call, Charities can call, any goverment official can call. If you have done business with a company that has several subsideraries, All of those can call you, because you have technically done business with them. So, its useless to even sign up for it. When it comes to junk mail, We have brought a lot of it on ourselves. If you have an account at a bank or ever had one. If you did not tell them that you don't want your info sold. Then it has been sold. Same with credit cards. If you have a cell phone and you didn't ask them to not sell your info, It has been sold. Ordered a catolog -sold-, subscription to magazines -sold-. In fact. On a lot of things you can call to have your name removed and you can ask (most times they tell you) how they got your info. They tell you. I worked for USToy/Constructive playthings and we had people cancel their subscriptions that they didn't ask for, and we would make it a point to tell them where we got their info. Most time it was from Oriental trading or other catologs. But we did have a lot that came from Commerce Bank, Bank of america, Visa, Mastercard, Ebay, Paypal, Credit unions, IRS. and the most popular the License Buearo. Just something to think about before you sign up for something next time.

We got on the do not call list, and we really have noticed an actual reduction in calls.

I will have to try that postage-paid thing. I get 2 credit card offers a day.

If a telemarketer calls more than once from the same company, I have a cow bell I ring into the phone, the first time they call I just hang up.

A somewhat unknown fact regarding the Do-Not-Call list. If, like me, you use Vonage or another Internet-based phone service, your actual Vonage number is not your regular telephone number. For example, my BellSouth phone number was 661-XXXX prior to switching to Vonage. I kept the 661-XXXX number when I switched to Vonage...however, while the switch was going on, Vonage assigned me a "temporary" phone number...336-XXXX. Now, Vonage fowards all calls to the 661-XXXX number through the 336-XXXX number. I didn't know this and as soon as I switched to Vonage my telemarketing calls skyrocketed again. I had to add the 366-XXXX number to the Do-Not-Call list before the number of calls dropped again.

Louisville comedian Tom Mabe and Jersey City's comedian Jim Florentine both specialize in terrorizing telemarketers with their own game. Both have awesome CD's out that basically teach you how to turn the tables on these communication cockroaches and enjoy a laugh as you zap them. Telemarketer zapping is a great sport if you enter the arena prepared.

Last year, Tom crashed a national telemarketer's convention and started calling all the telemarketers in their rooms at the crack of dawn to sell them "the greatest telemarkert's guide ever written".

He told an alarm company telemarketer that the owner of the house wasn't in at the moment and that he was ransacking the place. He suggested that the marketer try later for a near guaranteed sale. He told a graveplot salesman that his timing was perfect as he was considering killing himself. The marketer asked him for a credit card.

Jim Florentine has a friend pick up an extension phone every 10 seconds and ask "Dude, are you still on the phone?" while the telemarketer is trying to give their pitch. He has some really GREAT ways to frustrate and annoy the telemarketers. http://www.jimflorentine.com/download.htm Check out the "No No" and "Brothers" MP3 files!!!

If ya can't beat em...Crush Em!!!

There's an old Seinfeld episode where he tells the telemarketer that he's very interested in the product, but he has to leave--could the telemarketer please tell him their home phone number so that he could call them back. When the telemarketer of course refuses, Seinfeld replies, "Oh, so you don't appreciate strangers calling you at home!"

Jack Shalom

Yeah I was about to post that. that's the greatest line against a tele marketer

This is the only spam I have ever made money from BTW


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Everyone should check this out!

I have long used the original posters idea about puting the telemarketer on hold...for an hour or more if need be. This ALWAYS works like a charm!

Or, I give them my best Looney Tunes impersonation, Yosemite Sam works GREAT!!! (as does Foghorn Leghorn)

After you put them on hold for an hour are they there when you com back?

No! They are off and wasting someone elses time!

I simply say (very politely) Excuse me, I'm gonna have to put you on hold for a minute. They say "OK" And I do exactly that! I go off, leave the phone on the table or floor, and I run off and live my life.

Then an hour later, (at MY convenience) I come back, and the phone is making a funny noise...so I put it back on the hook and that's that.

If they call back, I do it all over again.

They are powerless against this tactic. It puts them totally at your mercy.

Oh, one other tactic you might try..go get a recording of someone dragging their fingernails across a chalkboard.... (You know..SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHHHHH!!!!!) then put it up to the phone, turn up the volume.....

Ain't I evil?

I do the I'm a retard my cats flying in my backyard, bit or the ever so popular fart machine .

I do the I'm a retard my cats flying in my backyard, bit or the ever so popular fart machine .

There is a website of nothing but SOUNDBOARDS that you can use to VERY good effect in these situations.