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info2victor Veteran user 337 Posts |
Hey, I was tidying up the files in my computer and came across with a funny article I copied from somewhere else written by a person called Jakks. Though some may not apply to a coin magician... but I guess you may feel the same for most of the points. Takes a while to read them all, but enjoy~
You know you're a magician when... 1...you are the only one driving to work while practicing palming a quarter. 2...you pull five bucks out of your waitresses ear to leave a tip. 3...you just bought more toys at the dollar store than your kids, because of a trick you plan on making. 4...you always walk around with three different decks of cards in your pockets because each one is set up for a different trick. 5...you pull the four aces out of the deck ... only to lose them back into the deck ... just so you can find them again! 6...instead of just spreading four cards and showing that there are four, you count them! 7...you save your wife's/girlfriend's stockings with runs in them. 8...you refer to everyday objects as "ordinary". 9...you can have a heated debate whether Dai pronounced "Day" or "Die". 10...you have more than a dozen open decks of cards and even more unopened ones. 11...you accidentally do a double while playing "Go Fish!". 12...you are the only one that can have fun with a Blank Deck. 13...you refer to handkerchief as "silks". 14...every coin that you receive gets "accidentally" palmed. 15...you have a deck of cards and some half dollars within arms reach of the toilet bowl! 16...you have 101 retorts for the question "How'd you do that?" 17...you're willing to pay $15 to learn how to make $1 disappear. 18...you own more than three tuxedos. 19...your twin boys are named Siegfried and Roy. 20...your idea of a fun date involves a lady and a saw. 21...you have a dog named "Houdini". 22...you go to the S&M store for handcuffs but not for the reason they think. 23...you are back-ordered for rabbits and mice at the pet store. 24...you have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time. 25...you introduce your wife as "My assistant." 26...someone ask for your card you give them the Ace of Diamonds. 27...you wear black on the Anniversary of Houdini's death. 28...you see a bag and wonder how long it would take to escape from it. 29...you try to teach your cat to jump through burning hoops like Siegfried and Roy's tigers. 30...your best pick up line begins with "Pick a card". 31...you watch the space shuttle lift off and start thinking of ways to make it disappear. 32...you have never been to the insane asylum, yet you own a straight jacket. 33...no one will play cards with you....ever. 34...you have "at least" eleven fingers. 35... you paid $25.00 for a quarter. 36...you are playing cards with the guys and when someone asks you to shuffle the deck, you get a blank look on your face and ask "You mean a real shuffle?!" 37...then you have to think really hard to remember how to do a real shuffle. 38...the oldest deck of cards in use in your possession was purchased a week ago and you're ready to toss it. 39...you can't help but wonder what those cups would look like mouth-down on the table. 40...the thought of bending or writing on a playing card doesn't throw you for a loop anymore. 41...you have half-dollars in your house that you acquired on purpose. 42...you get a strange pleasure when you hear any of the following words or phrases in normal conversation: "spellbound," "triumph," "pass," "assembly," or "oil and water." 43...it matters to you how someone shuffles your deck. 44...you know what FASDIU stands for and appreciate it! 45...you'll buy two copies of the same newspaper and not read either. 46...you have a business card printed with the word "magician" under your name. 47...you know how David Blaine did most of his tricks and have created your magic shopping list accordingly. 48...you find yourself inexplicably compelled to inform that professional magician whose show you just saw that you are a magician, too. 49...you're happy when you get a half-dollar in your change! 50...you actually want to go to a lecture. 51...a "shell" is not something found on a beach. 52...a "half" can only mean a coin that no one else in the world uses. 53...seated at a restaurant you survey the table for "props." 54...you want to put a coin into your left hand you have to first pick it up with your right. 55...you are the only one of your male friends to have a nice silk collection. 56...people refuse to sit near you because you insist on practicing your passes, palms, doubles and counts even though you don't have a deck of cards in your hands. 57...every Christmas, you get a new load of Svengali decks or sponge balls. 58...you back-palm your movie ticket and produce it out of thin air. 59....you can't stand to play card games because of the temptation to flourish and cheat at least once. 60...all your friends call when magic is on TV. 61...your child says,"Daddy what happens to a magician when he dies?" and you say, "His friends slap him on the back and say "Nice show". 62...you have to be careful not to spend some of the change in your pocket. 63...you have more decks of cards than a casino. 64...all of your friends name start with "The Amazing" or "The Great". 65...after viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell. " And you're really thinking "How da heck did they do that"? 66...you make more "passes" with decks of cards than you do with the ladies. 67...you can lose you TT and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward. 68...you pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes. 69...handing you a tip in a restaurant, people ask you,"Do you make your living doing this? I mean, full time?" 70...you pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy. 71...you buy lots of brightly colored silk scarves for yourself and your best girl's name isn't "Bruce". 72...you are the only guy dragged into the women's clothing store and not bored to tears because you plant yourself in front of a mirror and check the angles on your coin moves. 73...someone asks for a piece of rope, and you pull one from your pocket. 74...you carry more "office supplies" on you than at your desk. (For the Mentalist) 75...you actually have a "use" for rubber cement. 76...you actually read all of these corny jokes.
It only takes a minute to learn how it is done, but takes a lifetime to learn how to do it.
You've got a coin? |
Jim Salabim Loyal user Skien, Norway 240 Posts |
Thanks! I needed a laugh!
Jim
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rutabaga Inner circle Toronto, Canada 1283 Posts |
Quote:
54...you want to put a coin into your left hand you have to first pick it up with your right. I catch myself doing this quite often... yikes. |
Jaz Inner circle NJ, U.S. 6111 Posts |
You wear dozens of elastic bands on your wrists no matter where you go.
Three other "You know you're a magician when..." topics. http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......forum=27 http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......forum=32 http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......forum=24 Enjoy, |
info2victor Veteran user 337 Posts |
Thanks Jaz~!
It seems that the person I mentioned has the username Dr. Jakks here. And the list has been there in the forum for a long time. Anyway, it's really fun and I guess I'm a magician now as well. And yes.. I do #54 all the time. And the sad thing is most of the time my receiving hand get no coin eventually...
It only takes a minute to learn how it is done, but takes a lifetime to learn how to do it.
You've got a coin? |
ithomson Veteran user 330 Posts |
A possible addition: You know you're a magician when...
... you spend more time in a chat room than actually performing....? |
Rob Elliott Elite user Reston VA 487 Posts |
You know you're a magician when...
...the phrase "Take a look a my new Johnson," has nothing to do with a trip to Switzerland. |
info2victor Veteran user 337 Posts |
You know you're a coin magician when...
... you buy a coin purse that can only hold 4-6 half dollars. ... and later on you even buy a coin purse that only has a frame.
It only takes a minute to learn how it is done, but takes a lifetime to learn how to do it.
You've got a coin? |
clamon86 Special user 508 Posts |
You know you're a magician when a friend or family member informs you about a magic special on television or something in an article.
you know you are a magician when you buy a $45-60 book or $30 dvd you get only 2 ideas from it, and you are satisfied. people don't sit next to you because your practicing new techniques by miming and nothing in your hands you know you are a magician when you walk around with coins in your hand in weird positions you know you're a magician when you're the only man in the area with a nice silk collection you have to double check coins you spend but flicking them and looking on the edges you know you're a magician when your not bored when you go on a clothing shop for your wife(you're busy practicing) and for my last one for now... you know you're a magician when you are at a dinner table testing the flexibility of the silverware and for good luck you know you're a magician when you are eating dinner and all of a sudden take a trip to the bathroom only to prepare your gimmick for your next miracle |
Rob Pond Regular user Scott, OH 156 Posts |
These are great. info2victor, you could be the Jeff Foxworthy of magicians jokes. I am going to show some of these to my nonmagic friends.
Rob Pond |
galerius Loyal user Piemontese Alps ( Northwestern Italy ) 245 Posts |
You know You are a magician when, before to smoke a cig, every time You make it vanish into your fist and reappear in your pocket.
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Judah Vee Special user of the JV Naughty Vanish.... 884 Posts |
I have to say that it is sad how many of the things listed in this topic are true for me. Although I don't have to worry about the wife anymore as she "dissappeared" about eight years ago. But when she was around , oh-boy, did we have some uhh....talks. And I know I am a magician because I have more wallets then I do money , and the all have a playing card in them.
I don't care how fast or slow you are.... As long as I am faster.. -J-
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