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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Penny for your thoughts » » One Liners For Mentalism (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Dynamike
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Eternal Order
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How old are you?

When I was ___ I was the same age as you.
Yellowjacket
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Wisconsin
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A script tends to work much better than a string of one liners

YellowJacket
Mentalisten
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London, UK
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'Just write down your cat's name on this pad... OK now turn around'.

Kiddin!!
'Welcome to the Jungle' - Axl Rose
BestPest
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Some of those one liners made me tired and sad. Nothing is funnier than "Ladles and Jellyspoons!"


It's comedy gold.
Alex Linian
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I hate one-liners.
Dynamike
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Quote:
On 2007-06-27 13:00, BestPest wrote:
I spelt Ladle wrong, I wish I was dead.


That's a good one-liner. Smile
DJM
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Israel
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Mike, the funniest joke in this whole thread!
Matt Pulsar
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Man people can truly get up in arms so fast on here.

'Thoughtreader' has a very good point however. And I don't think his point is limited to professionals. Think about it this way. Where do these lines come from? If you didn't write it or pay someone (yes people pay to have things written for them,) to have it written, then why do you assume it is yours to use, or worse, give away to others online. Perhaps you saw it used in a few shows and that is where you picked it up.

All of these lines were written by someone. It could have been a long time ago, but they have a source. If you are not the source it is probably not a good idea to post them somewhere else. I don't see any credits here, even to where the lines were heard. So the real challenge is to come up with our own comedy lines. If we do this, then they will not seem out of place, because they will fit us, we wrote them. And then, its most likely not a good idea to post them on the Café, cause as it has been made obvious, others will start using them.
Belief Manifests Reality.
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davidlai308
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Thank you for having me here Ladies and Gentlemen.
If you like my show , please remember me as David Lai, however, if you hated it, just remember as Mr. Ali bin Ahmad.

(It works in my country, use any name you think is suitable).
An entrepreneur by day , a magician by night . Satiate my mind & you've won my heart .
www.superhumanz.online
BestPest
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Quote:
On 2007-06-27 13:57, davidlai308 wrote:
Thank you for having me here Ladies and Gentlemen.
If you like my show , please remember me as David Lai, however, if you hated it, just remember as Mr. Ali bin Ahmad.

(It works in my country, use any name you think is suitable).

Are you from a racist country? Are you saying... remember me as Asian if you don't like my act?
Fizzban Magic
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and Jedi Knight
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In the entertainment industry, they are known as "stock lines." Every facet has their own and uses them, singers use them..., comics use them..., hosts..., announcers, everybody. The choice to use them is yours.

Don't hold it against Paul, he can't help it... he's from Calgary. Smile
Turk
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Quote:
On 2007-06-27 13:06, Dynamike wrote:
Quote:
On 2007-06-27 13:00, BestPest wrote:
I spelt Ladle wrong, I wish I was dead.

That's a good one-liner. Smile

And, if the wish came true, it would be a flat-liner.
(badda-boom!)


Quote:
On 2007-06-27 13:05, Alex Linian wrote:
I hate one-liners.

He says as he spits out a very succinct one-liner.
Magic is a vanishing Art.

This must not be Kansas anymore, Toto.

Eschew obfuscation.
davidlai308
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BestPest ,
I think you got my whole `line wrong.
I'm Asian and so is `Ali Bin Ahmad' . Malaysia is a country consisted of a mixture of races , Malays , Chinese , and Indian are the main races in the country . What I'm saying is , you can change the ` Ali bin Ahmad ''s name to the organizers name or a name people are fond off .

The name `Ali ' in my country is very very common .
An entrepreneur by day , a magician by night . Satiate my mind & you've won my heart .
www.superhumanz.online
BestPest
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Oooh. Sorry. Thought you were a bad man and was going to fight you.
Scott Cram
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When looking at a blank grid in which I'm going to fill with a magic square, I sometimes quip:

Is anybody else hungry for waffles?
Energizer
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Here's a line I'm fond of. It's kind of mentalism - could be used for a watch effect.

Here it is:-

" You know psychological research into our perceptions of time indicates that literally time flies when you are having fun ... But I agree with Kermit the frog who says that time is fun when you are eating flies. "

It made me laugh, like much of the material on this thread. And yes, credit really does go to Kermit the frog for that one.

Scott Cram's line was superb. Maximum respect.

I dearly love one-liners.


Before or after a book test -

You know outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read anyway ...

Thanks to Groucho Marx for that one.
"We judge a book by its cover and read what we want between selected lines" - W. Axl Rose, circa 1992.
Malchat
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The Kingdom of Croiset and Wonder
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"You have a watch. But I have the time."
-- Kurdish saying
“You are what you pretend to be.”
Slim King
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Orlando
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I worked in the same lounge (singing) for three years straight. We used the same jokes over and over. After a while we'd just use the punch line. Amazingly, we'd get the same response. The Regulars still liked the "Old" jokes, but we just eliminated the story line. Could this work with mentalism...
My favorite one is...
When your IQ hits 20...sell.
THE MAN THE SKEPTICS REFUSE TO TEST FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS.. The Worlds Foremost Authority on Houdini's Life after Death.....
Kevin Cook
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When selecting an audience member I often use

"Would you MIND helping?"

This usually gets a big laugh.

If the audience members name is Brian I mis-pronounce it as "Brain" whilst pointing to my head with a stick and rolling my eyes around wildly.

If the audience member is not called Brian I quip

"I THOUGHT so!"

This line often gets me a standing ovation.
JonWhite
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"Oops...that never happens to Derren Brown"
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