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Mario Morris
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Mario Morris
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Last week while working in Cardiff I had the tow worst hecks I have had in a long time in two days running.

I say the worst I mean it made the show but some people are just thick as crap.

The first was this born again Christian that had a hand held loud speaker. I have had trouble of him before but this time he was determined to stay. Pointing his speaker in my face he asked me do you know Jesus? To which I replied YES, and Jesus say's he loves you but my name is Mario so get-lost. He then turned he cannon on my audience and started blasting them. So I began to beat my table with my wand and the Audience began to clap in beat and we just clapped him down. Last time I had trouble of him was in the middle to the School of Busking got that on DVD.

The next day right in the middle of my C&B routine, a Russian man about 50yr old started to warn my audience not to part with there money and how dangerous I was.
He went on to say "in my county theses men are every where". To which I replied yes and the last one to leave your country can turn off the lights. Good job my audience was educated it just seem to add to the show as it was funny.
Mario
benlewis2004
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Lol, I have had one of those christians before. I wasnt performing though. I was crossing the road in oxford street, and he came up to me and started asking me questions, and wouldnt go away. I said something quite rude to him, (spur of the moment thing) and he followed me round for about 10 minutes. I found out this hadnt only happened to me. He eneded up with an asbo.
SeaDawg
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Mario,
I am glad you survived. Guys like this are a Pox on the world. People like this are a not so gentle reminder why brothers and sisters should not marry each other.LOL.

For the "Christian" fanatic.... :"Yes Jesus loves you, but at this rate the rest of the world is gonna think you are an ***hole." (Drastic, severe and reserved for those people who just don't get it)

Last week end my special fan tried to convince everyone that I had a serpent hiding behind my ropes in "Professors Nightmare" and that the "Queen of Hearts" was actually the Virgin Mary.... I looked over at him and then reminded the audience "What I must look like when I don't take my medication.... and it is a good thing that I do...". He got the idea and left.

The one other line I like with those who are annoying Hecks is... "Sorry, I didn't get the version of the script where you had a speaking part yet. But wait a few minutes and we will get to that part". Then I just never get to that part.....

Good luck and God's Speed...
Crazy people take the psycho-path thru the forest...
Lee Darrow
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One line that worked for me a few weeks ago, while working in a pub, was "You know, SOME nights, it's just not worth it to chew my way through the leather straps... but tonight I'm REALLY glad I did!" and grin, maniacally at the offender... for some strange reason, they always head for the hills when I use that one...!

With a tip of the hat to Emo Phillips, with whom I have worked on occasion (though I was working the tables in the audience while he was on stage later in the evening and we exchanged a few kind words in the green room those times, I doubt he remembers me at all...) who came up with the first part of that line.

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
Steve V
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What is an asbo? My niece on my wifes side, a horrible girl in her mid twenties, was living in LA and went to the Santa Monica Prominade and was telling all the performers, in her loud way, that they were nothing but bums. She sat there complaining about them being 'beggers' until I had enough and told her how she was wrong. She stopped speaking to me but that just makes me happy.
Steve V
Pete Biro
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1933 - 2018
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I keep saying "we gotta thin the herd".... argh.... Smile
STAY TOONED... @ www.pete-biro.com
ttorres
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Anyone every just brought the loud mouth up asked him/her there name and then introduced him/her and then step into the crowd? Then you can say something like “okay buddy, now it is your show. Do your thing. That’s what I thought”.

Takes the wind right out of there sails and you should hear the crowd.
...the magic that creates Memories!
Stanyon
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(Saying in his newly adopted accent!)

Ain't nuthin' cain't be fixed by usin' a 4 foot piece of 2 X 4.

JMHO

Cheers! Smile
Stanyon

aka Steve Taylor

"Every move a move!"

"If you've enjoyed my performance half as much as I've enjoyed performing for you, then you've enjoyed it twice as much as me!"
ed rhodes
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Is that what they call an "attention getter" down South?
"He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." - Rafael Sabatini, Scaramouche
Andy_Bell
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Steve V

An ASBO is an "antisocial behaviour order" the courts here in the Uk can hand them out to curtail the activities of some of the (how can I put this politely) "less desirable elements of society".

hope that helps

Andy
I was put on this earth to do a great many things..... I'm now so far behind that I don't think I'm ever going to die!
SeaDawg
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Lee,
That is a great line

Another that I like is "If you leave now they will let you back in and not take away your TV privledges...."

They can assume whether I meant prison or some other institution...

A buddy of mine who has been coaching me on street has a compendium of over 900 different lines to deal with those who "just" don't get it. Some of them are gentle, but they can escalate to downright nasty if the situation warrants...

It is hard to fathom why some people assume that "performers" doing street should not be subject to the common courtesies we all should deserve.
Crazy people take the psycho-path thru the forest...
Mario Morris
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Mario Morris
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Are you depriving a village of an idiot?
Mario
Andy_Bell
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"There we go ladies and gentelmen, a great example of why you should never drink on an empty head"
I was put on this earth to do a great many things..... I'm now so far behind that I don't think I'm ever going to die!
Mario Morris
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Mario Morris
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There is no begining to your talents.

don't you realise that there is enough people to hate in this world allready.

Hear is 20p/cent go and call a friend and bring back the chang.

If I through a stick will you leave?

Instead of being Born Again, why don't you just grow up?

Mario
evolve629
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Mario, I'm really bothered that you had to encounter the 2 ridculous hecks in your show. Things like this agitate me. I appreciated the fact that you brought this up and post it here as others, me included, sure can learn from you and be awared of similiar situation that can occur in his or her show too. Take care.
One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in - Wayne Gretzky
My favorite part is putting the gaffs in the spectators hands...it gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside! - Bob Kohler
Mario Morris
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Mario Morris
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Thx your a star,
We have to accept it because that is the nature of the streets.
I could say it does bother me but in the same breath it is the very thing I love about streets. They are unpredictable a constant change elusive that reminds me to live life.

My favorite pass times is people gazing, they fascinate me different lives different motives. When I pull a load of strangers together to watch a show then every show is different simply because they are and any thing could happen.
Mario
mota
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I have ranted (what, me rant!?) about born again lunatics as far as readings go. My favorite experience was when I was reading palms and some one came up and said, "If Jesus came right now would you read his hand?" I said yes, but I don't know what I would say about those nail holes.

I've been thinking about this thread and some of the Christians I know. Some, like my late grandmother, were people who made you want to be Christian just because she reflected amazing things. Others made you wish there were more lions.

I finally noticed the difference...those who talk about Jesus the most act like him the least.
SeaDawg
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MOta,
You absolutely slay me... I *** near donated an organ I was laughin so Hard...

"Yes, I am a racist folks. I hate people from the planet Stupid...."
Crazy people take the psycho-path thru the forest...
Laird
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Probably one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed was last year while busking, a Bible thumper, while yelling scripture, was approached by some Hari Krishnas who parked themselves right in front of this poor guy.
They beat their tambla drums, and finger cymbals, really shouted this guy down. I say "poor guy" for no other reason than I genuinely believed it was the last thing he ever imagined would've happened to him. And I doubt he has ever mentioned it to anyone.
It's never to late to have a happy childhold!
The Mighty Fool
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Couple of years back there was this guy named "Hallelujagh Jones", who could recite any bible verse verbatim, and hope for tips. Once while I was doing my show, he shouted out loudly "Oh my sweet supreme lord!!!" And I shouted back "How many TIMES have I told you NOT to call me that in public! No one's supposed to know about us!"
Everybody wants to beleive.....we just help them along.
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