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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » REALLY bad pick up lines...read 'em and groan. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

daffydoug
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Eternal Order
Look mom! I've got
14062 Posts

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Hey, Valentine's day is just around the corner, so here's some of the worst of the worst#

# Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
# Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
# Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
# Do you have any raisins? No? How 'bout a date?
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
thoughtsexplorer
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Elite user
Elite... not D-Lite!
424 Posts

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# Thought that I could love no other - that is until I met your brother.

# Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
# But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

# Of loving beauty you float with grace - if only you could hide your face

# Kind, intelligent, loving and hot - this describes everything you are not

# I want to feel your sweet embrace - but don't take that paper bag off of your face

# I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ***, I'm good at telling lies!

# My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life

# I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming

# My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?

# My feelings for you no words can tell, except for maybe "go to hell"

# What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime
Cinnamon
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Loyal user
Philippines
227 Posts

Profile of Cinnamon
Are you a condom? Because I feel protected when I'm with you.

I'm calling the police! Why? Because you took my heart with you!

Are you a bicyle card? Because everytime I see you, I want to get my hands on you.

I really think you are beautiful..(insert more mushyness here).. you know, last time I went to a shrink, he said I am a congenital liar, but that's okay! I love you for who you are!
magician211
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New user
Key West, FL
63 Posts

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Is your father a thief? Because I want to know who stole the stars from the sky and stuck them in your eyes*gives a wink*
"Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination." Gene Wilder
Margarette
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Special user
Memphis area
956 Posts

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Pick a card....
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Lyndel
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Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

Profile of Lyndel
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
Image
Josh the Superfluous
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Inner circle
The man of
1881 Posts

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Your skin wouldn't be softer if I threw you in a damp hole, and repeatedly made you rub your body with lotion.
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2
Jaz
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Inner circle
NJ, U.S.
6112 Posts

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Care to bang the drum slowly?
SeaDawg
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Special user
The Lunatic Fringe
718 Posts

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I do search and rescue for a living and you look like yo might need to be saved...

Do you realize that you are going to guest star in all my fantasies forever?
Crazy people take the psycho-path thru the forest...
Lyndel
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Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

Profile of Lyndel
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see...
Image
daffydoug
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Eternal Order
Look mom! I've got
14062 Posts

Profile of daffydoug
Groan!!!!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Doug Higley
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V.I.P.
Here and There
7173 Posts

Profile of Doug Higley
I like the put downs better...a friend of mine had the best one ever at a bar in Tahoe...she said to the guy..."I already have one assh**le in my pants...I don't need another one."

Bang zoom zing.
Higley's Giant Flea Pocket Zibit
Cliffg37
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Inner circle
Long Beach, CA
2488 Posts

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How do you like your eggs?
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
cardone
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Special user
856 Posts

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"Get your Coat" ..........
elmago
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Loyal user
Northridge- Los Angeles, CA
268 Posts

Profile of elmago
Did it hurt? ... When you fell from heaven?

Would you hold it against me if I said you had a nice body?

Why don't you sit on my lap and we will talk about the first thing that comes up.

Are thoses real?

Nice shoes, wanna f**K?

From an episode in Taxi.
"Lets cut through the puleminaries and get married."

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Can I have a quarter? I'd promise my mom to call her when I found the woman of my dreams.

From Napolean Dynamite:
"I hope you are not drinking 1% milk because you think you are fat. You are not. You could drink whole milk if you wanted to."
"Excellence is not a single act; it's a habit" Shaq quoting Aristotle after winning NBA MVP.
hkwiles
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Special user
Howard Wiles
797 Posts

Profile of hkwiles
In my 30's a friend introduced me to one of his young female staff, trying to be smooth I said,
"where have you been all my life? "
to which the young girl replied..
"half your life I haven't been here!"

touchee !
Howard
Patrick Differ
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Inner circle
1540 Posts

Profile of Patrick Differ
Nice day for weather.
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » REALLY bad pick up lines...read 'em and groan. (0 Likes)
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