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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » We double dare you! » » Milk Maids From Outer Space (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Matthew St. Cyr
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A lot of the magic routines that I do I put a "cheesy scifi-horror-B Movie" twist on (it's an illness) and I started thinking about some routines specifically designed around sci-fi or horror conventions...this one I call "Milk Maids From Outer Space."

You talk about cow abductions and mutilations (this may not be restaurant material..) You take out a small plastic cow (like the ones in childrens farm play sets from days of yor...you know the ones!)
"Has anyone ever heard of cow mutilations?" (Yes, no....)
"Well, I've been working on my own theory about them...and I'd like to share it with you. See, farmers will go to bed at night and thier cows will be perfectly fine, but when they wake up in the morning, the cow seems to have vanished into thin air! Maybe that's how they get evapoarated milk? Get it? Ah-nevermind. Sometimes the cow is missing for a while, sometimes it's found just a short time later. But they are usually found with organs and blood removed....why? I dunno...but I have a theory that I'd like to share with you. I've brough visuals as well...."

Magician displays a small cow (this could be plastic, rubber...maybe even sponge!)
"So here is Daisybelle the Cow. She's just going to be peacefully grazing over here for now" Places the cow on the table.
"Night falls and the field is dark" (take a dark colored silk, to represent night time and cover the cow)
"All seems peaceful until the arrival of..." (take out small toy flying saucer) "The Milk Maids From Outer Space!!! See these creatures abduct the cows onto thier ships to extract thier milk." (You hold the flying saucer over the silk and cow and after a moment, let go of the saucer and it will float above the cow.)
"Now they haven't perfected the milking process and poor Daisybelle doesn't make it back in one piece..." (take hold of the silk and lift it to show the cow is now comically mutilated)
"Well, not wanting to get caught doing these dastardly deeds, our interstellar dairy farmers from beyond get the heck out of dodge!" (Place the silk over the ufo and it will seem to shoot straight upwards and vanish as it flies away.)
"That's my theory anyway!"


It's got some plot holes and stuff but I think this could be fun for a slightly deranged audience!
The Wonder Lies In The Dark Between The Stars. . .
fishwasher
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B'ham uk
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I actually quite like that in a strange kinda deranged way!
Sayn lay narn, marli?

http://www.bizarremagic.net
Psy-Kosh
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Michigan
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*coughlaughsnickers* I like it.

Hey, maybe add something along the lines of that sort of thing being how cheese gets to the moon?
Matthew St. Cyr
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Glad you guys like it! In that strange deranged way! Smile
I like the cheese on the moon bit!
The Wonder Lies In The Dark Between The Stars. . .
Psy-Kosh
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Also about why it's _really_ called the "milky way"...
Andy the cardician
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Not bad - you can then continue with some VooDoo Magik . .
Cards never lie
Psy-Kosh
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"You know all that stuff about dark matter? It's actually dark chocolate. The Milk Maids have been stealing all the milk, so...."
Matthew St. Cyr
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The Milk Maids' nemesis, are the one's who make the Mars Bars.....
The Wonder Lies In The Dark Between The Stars. . .
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