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The Magic Cafe Forum Index The little darlings My daughter won't talk to me ... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Autumn Morning Star
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Grammar Hostess
Today, I corrected grammar in
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Don't show how it is done. Teach!

Instead of a TT, buy her some self-working magic like penny to dime. Spiked Coin is also easy, but has funny patter and can be presented with charm and charisma. Shrinking die is an easy one that teaches beginning manipulation. Help her climb the ladder in a way where she will not fail and be frustrated.

Let her earn the privilege of knowing: Tell her when she has mastered two (easy) tricks, patter and all, you will teach her how to do the Chinese Sticks.
Wonder is very necessary in life. When we're little kids, we're filled with wonder for the world - it's fascinating and miraculous. A lot of people lose that. They become cynical and jaded, especially in modern day society. Magic renews that wonder.
Doug Henning
Stevethomas
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Show her a website that teaches all the magic secrets, then buy her whatever she wants...by the way...I have all that for sale.

Steve
Andre Hagen
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Rjenkins,

Tell your daughter if she becomes proficient with the TT you will buy her a set of Chinese Sticks if she is serious about performing it and not just curious about the secret.

Years ago when my daughters were teenagers they were beautiful assistants in my stage show. One was perfect for the Zig-Zag Illusion. My oldest son was stage manager and they still talk about the wonderful time we had performing as a family.

They did, of course, know all the secrets for the effects I was performing, but I never performed a trick just for them unless asked to do so and they knew I wouldn't divulge the secret if I did.

Years later when I was working tables in a restaurant one of my daughters came in with her husband and asked me to "do some magic" for her husband. Afterwards, he said "I thought your dad was a stage magician." My daughter said "So did I!"

After that they would ask me to do something every time I visited them. They still after 15 years have a card on their ceiling which has become a conversation piece.

The moral here is...don't perform for family and friends unless you are asked. Never do magic for a captive audience...but always be ready to do something.

Andy
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one - Albert Einstein
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
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Value "teachable moments" when they appear. They are priceless! A lot more is learned than magic.

Enjoy!

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
flourish dude
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On a side note from magic, You don't want to teach your child to keep secrets from you. I think you need to think of a good way to show her but help her understand that she is not to tell the trick to anyone outside your family. This may sound like a contradiction but I don't want to teach my child to keep things from me. We are a family and we need to be able to trust each other and be open. Be honest with yourself, anyone can go down to the magic store and buy that trick. Is it really worth the real lesson you are able to teach her about being open with you?
Nothing of the same will bring any change, take action today!
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johnnymystic
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I have a friend (just one it seems) and all he's into is mentalism type stuff...

It's so funny because he has two very young kids, as in both may be still in diapers kind of young... the stinky type!

;)

He has no idea yet how to connect with youngun's, his kids or others to be exact.

...I hope he sees this so he's knows I'm yackin' about him!

:)
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Starrpower
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Flourish Dude is dead on the money. Family trumps all else. Who is your higher allegiance to, magic or your family? My daughter knows I am in her corner always ... 100% of the time. (See, you can learn everything you need to know from The Godfather. as Michael said to Fredo: "Never go against the family")

This one should be a no-brainer. Yeah, you can teach her that everything doesn't come easy in life, and you can't always get things just for the asking, but I don't think something as unimportant as a magic trick falls into that category.
jolyonjenkins
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Interesting range of opinions here but I do agree that magic's little secrets are not worth sacrificing your children for.

I've now shown her how to do the Chinese sticks and we are practicing together with one stick each.
Jolyon Jenkins
Tim Hannig
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Agreed!

My kids have seen my shows tons of times.

The other day, they were laughing so hard as I was playing with one of their toys with them.
I said, "You guys laugh harder now than you do at daddy's show, when all the other kids are dying laughing!"

Of course, they've seen it so many times.

However, they love it that they are in "the know" and that they are in on the secrets. I have four kids, and they all have different levels of interest in what I do, but that's the way it should be....
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Ken Dumm
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When my son was a little younger, I'd give him a prop he'd never seen before. He'd ask, "What does this do?" and I would tell him to play with it (provided it was built well) and see if he could figure it out. It's amazing some of the ideas he discovered. Some ideas didn't work, but others were brilliant. It's amazing how an uncluttered mind can see the simplicity in a confusing world. I love sharing the excitement magic can create, it's brought us closer together than I ever could have imagined. Okay, time to put away the tissues..... Smile

Ken
Stevethomas
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I have nothing against sharing the sense of wonder with the most wonderful people on earth...our children. That being said, I DO have something against the way some children apparently attempt to use the leverage of "not talking to us" as incentive for things.

Steve
Jesper Amstrup
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I show my daugter everthing she want to know. Why shouldn't I? I know for shure she knows that everything is "just" a trick. Just like every other child. She has never exposed any secrets to anyone, enven thought we don't have a rule about it. She knows it's my job, and it isn't something special to her. She knows it is to other children, but for her I'm "just dad".

I recently discovered that she is VERY loyal to me. My character is a superhero, and after the show, I act as if I don't know what they are talking about, when they tell me that "you're him". "Who.. me... I just got here. I don't know what you are talking about." All in good fun of course.

I did a show at her school, and the other children said "hey it's you dad"

She said "no,no... it's his brother" - even though I don't have one. Of course I had to tell her that it was ok to "blow my cover"

She has never shown an interest in magic, but yesterday she asked me to get her some ticks, and I know it isn't for the same reason I started in magic - to know the secret. I doubt that she would ever have taken an interest in magic it I hadn't told her a few secrets.

As someone else noted.. I wouldn't like her to keep secrets from me, so why should I keep them from her?

She is totaly capable of enjoying a magic show, even if she knows most of the tricks, and their secrets.

oh... she is seven, by the way Smile
Stevethomas
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Sounds like a wonderful child to have! My son (who's now 12) "works" as my roadie during the summer tour, and he would never just blab secrets to look like a bigshot.

Of course, he also would not (EVER) have tried to force me to give him the secrets just for the sake of knowing.

Steve
The Amazing Noobini
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Wait wait wait... so you're saying that there are no elves and fairies now, is that it? Hrmpf.

Anyway... I wish someone would have taught me a magic trick when I was nine. maybe then I could have started to practice a little earlier than at 38. If I have any children who at nine asks me how a trick is done, I would spill the beans. If they failed to keep it a secret to their friends then the fountain of knowledge would stop running right there, at least for a year or two.

A man living with or having custody of his nine year old children in Norway in the 21st century is of course highly unlikely. But that's a different story.
"Talk about melodrama... and being born in the wrong part of the world." (Raf Robert)
"You, my friend, have a lot to learn." (S. Youell)
"Nonsensical Raving of a lunatic mind..." (Larry)
yago
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It is a very tough situation. I have the same problem with my kids.
Once I let my kid know the secret of some trick. and later on he revealed it to his friends. Since then I never do it again.



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yago
The Amazing Noobini
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Still, thinking about it, it is unrealistic to expect a nine year old to have the maturity of an adult, or to display the same loyalty when carrying a secret.

If a small child like that tells his or her friends how something is done, the listener won't get any kind of clear picture of what's actually going on at all. And they're not going to publish a DVD explaining it either. (A teenager on the other hand would be on YouTube faster than you could say "exposure").

Why not teach the kids some simple tricks they can do with their small clumsy hands? Who cares if they expose it. They are kids! It means nothing.
"Talk about melodrama... and being born in the wrong part of the world." (Raf Robert)
"You, my friend, have a lot to learn." (S. Youell)
"Nonsensical Raving of a lunatic mind..." (Larry)
triadsong
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This is yoru time to develop an entirely new aspect in your father/daughter relationship and, perhaps gain an assistant (heir?) as well.

My daughter is 8 ("and a HALF!, don't' forget daddy!") and knows that safeguarding our methods is very important. Sure, she's been tempted to tell her best friend how something is done, who wouldn't be, but my wife and I remind her we about our not talking about methods and we start over again. (Also, there is much I have not taught her yet so many times she's just as puzzled.)

Peace,
Vinny
squando
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I think if a youngster finds out how radio waves are carried through the air to be received by a radio, he/she will tell his piers. Magic tricks are the same. The unexplanable that is learned.

We parents have all kind of magic we use all day. Think of the VISA/MC. We swipe that we get groceries, clothes, decks of cards, books, etc.

It is all magic.

Frank
Frank
craig filicetti
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I had my son (9) sign the IBM agreement that he could not tell, and now he doesn't. He likes knowing and not telling his friends. In fact, he gets mad when magicians on TV tell a trick.

-Craig
ProMystic - Professional Systems For Mentalists
<BR>www.promystic.com
jolyonjenkins
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I'm really changing my position on this. I've discovered that sometimes she doesn't want to know the secret. But if she's really interested I usually tell her. We can then discuss it, she can help with suggestions, angles, lines - she's become my collaborator. I don't think she'd dream of telling anyone else.
Jolyon Jenkins
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