The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The little darlings » » My daughter won't talk to me ... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
jolyonjenkins
View Profile
Inner circle
United Kingdom
1156 Posts

Profile of jolyonjenkins
... unless I tell her how the Chinese sticks work. She's nine. I've had to hide them.

Should I tell her? I know she'll lose interest if I do.
Jolyon Jenkins
MoonRazor
View Profile
Special user
778 Posts

Profile of MoonRazor
Lose interest in what? You performing or her?
KC Cameron
View Profile
Inner circle
Raleigh, North Carolina
1877 Posts

Profile of KC Cameron
If she is interested in performing magic, then cultivate it.

If she is just doing a power play . . . well, it is up to you. My natural inclination is to resist. If you give in, you could be teaching her how to get what she wants is by withholding affection.
Spellbinder
View Profile
Inner circle
The Holy City of East Orange, NJ
6438 Posts

Profile of Spellbinder
This is a blessing in disguise. I sometimes wish my grandson (now 10) would threaten not to talk to me. I would enjoy the five minutes of silence.
Professor Spellbinder

Professor Emeritus at the Turkey Buzzard Academy of Magik, Witchcraft and Wizardry

http://www.magicnook.com

Publisher of The Wizards' Journals
The Great Smartini
View Profile
Inner circle
2280 Posts

Profile of The Great Smartini
Tell her that fairies and elves may be involved but that you're not certain because you don't speak Cantonese/Mandarin (Chinese).
jolyonjenkins
View Profile
Inner circle
United Kingdom
1156 Posts

Profile of jolyonjenkins
Quote:
On 2007-07-10 18:28, MoonRazor wrote:
Lose interest in what? You performing or her?


She'll lose interest in the trick. She may even disparage it if I perform it for other children.

I think she's a bit old for elves and fairies though! She'd probably thump me if I brought them into the story.

I know she'll come round soon. She's just intensely frustrated at not being able to figure it out. But I wonder whether other parents have this problem - that you inevitably get involved in power games over who knows the secret. This isn't a problem with other children, just my own.
Jolyon Jenkins
MagicSanta
View Profile
Inner circle
Northern Nevada
5845 Posts

Profile of MagicSanta
Too old for fairies? My good man, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle believed in them while in his 60's!
KC Cameron
View Profile
Inner circle
Raleigh, North Carolina
1877 Posts

Profile of KC Cameron
You can tell her you will show her, but she will have to practice the routine until she has it down pat. That way you are not just rolling over to her power play, and she may develop an interest in performing.

That or possibly have her buy an inexpensive set at the magic store (with her money). That way she has some investment.

Ultimately, this really isn't about magic, it is about who is in charge and parenting. You (and your daughter) will have to live with your decision.

My son is very charming --- and very manipulative and headstrong. These qualities can be developed positively, and he could be a leader. Then again, we have all seen people who get what they want all the time . . .
Mumblemore
View Profile
Inner circle
1426 Posts

Profile of Mumblemore
Make her your assistant, swear her to secrecy, and in exchange for the secret, have her port your props around at all shows that do not occur while she is in school. I did that with my eight-year-old daughter and it worked out so well I lent her out for salt mine work when she isn't cleaning the rabbit's cage . . .
Billgussen
View Profile
Elite user
Central Japan
498 Posts

Profile of Billgussen
RJ,
I think you've answered your own question. In the long run, nothing good will come to you from telling her, and nothing good will come to her from her knowing. And if you tell her, she'll lose respect for the magic and you as a performer (as opposed to you as a Dad) -- not to mention not having respect for the rest of your audience.

It sounds like, except for a bit of short-term domestic peace (until she starts bugging you about the next trick), telling her is a complete lose-lose situation. I'd just say, "Not now, honey," and try diverting her interest to something else. Or, if you are looking for long-term solutions to the overall problem, set up some guidelines that you can enfoce with regard to your magic, and consequences if the guidelines aren't followed.

Anyway you handle it, best of luck,
Bill
Kent Wong
View Profile
Inner circle
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
2458 Posts

Profile of Kent Wong
Right now, she has a suspicion that the magic isn't real.
Tell her how it's done and you destroy all hope within her.

Right now, you are comparing the love you have for her against the value of a cheap magic trick. But you are looing at it the wrong way.
Does she love YOU more than the cheap trick?
Of course she does. And down deep, she knows that love is unconditional.

Let her be a child and have her tantrum. You can teach her more about life by holding firm to your values than giving in when things get tough.

From one father to another...

Kent
"Believing is Seeing"
<BR>______________________
<BR>
<BR>www.kentwongmagic.com
Starrpower
View Profile
Inner circle
4070 Posts

Profile of Starrpower
Show her. My daughter (age 11, who's worked in my shows for 6 years) knows anything she asks about. She doesn't tell anyone, yet she's developing knowledge and interest. Even if she chooses not to go into magic (which is a pretty good bet), what's the harm? Her dad's a magician, she knows some magic secrets ... big deal.

You might even make it a challenging learning experience. Ask HER to analyze the trick and tell you how she thinks it works. Go over her ideas and discuss why they may or may not work. Heck, she might even come up with a better method!
TheAmbitiousCard
View Profile
Eternal Order
Northern California
13414 Posts

Profile of TheAmbitiousCard
My daughter was doing the power play on me because I would not tell her how Jamie got those cards in the bottle. I still have not told her.
www.theambitiouscard.com Hand Crafted Magic
Trophy Husband, Father of the Year Candidate,
Chippendale's Dancer applicant, Unofficial World Record Holder.
johnnymystic
View Profile
Inner circle
North Adams Ma.
1576 Posts

Profile of johnnymystic
My kids, and I got a lot of 'em, are okay with magic and know how most all my tricks are accomplished, but they never tell their friends. Sometimes I'll get a new trick and they won't figure it out, they don't even bother asking how at all anymore.

Three of my kids were literally born right into it and have been raised on seeing Dad practice and going with him to shows and once old enough for a time before they outgrow Dad and his magic they've even been part of the show.

Posted: Jul 12, 2007 2:02pm
In regards to the original problem of having a kid give you the silent treatment for you to break down and cave in to her needs...

Take her to the toy store and buy her a new Barbie doll, wait, she may have outgrown those by now, as described by her father she already has an uncanny knack akin more often to the female species and she seems to be honing those skills at present...

She's old enough for a cellphone, wait...she may already have one, so go get her the new apple phone thingy, this should brighten her spirits and make her love daddy again!.
I drink cheap tequila and vomit
<BR>I cannot eat hot wings...acid reflux
<BR>I never inhale Smile
<BR>I can put a field dress on a deer
Al Angello
View Profile
Eternal Order
Collegeville, Pa. USA
11047 Posts

Profile of Al Angello
Robert
If you tell her, and the smile leaves her face that result will be much worse than the silent treatment.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Stevethomas
View Profile
Inner circle
Southern U.S.A.
3723 Posts

Profile of Stevethomas
Buy her a car.

Steve
jolyonjenkins
View Profile
Inner circle
United Kingdom
1156 Posts

Profile of jolyonjenkins
We'd just got over the Chinese sticks when I showed her the invisible deck ... and it started all over again.

Not had this problem since the Balducci levitation ... which I explained to her: man, was she disappointed. She'd always wanted to fly. I try to use that example to explain why I shouldn't explain any more. I bought her a little TT but she doesn't have the application to practice properly.

It's all in good fun really. But there underlying issues of power too. I do actually like Starrpower's line of thought.
Jolyon Jenkins
johnnymystic
View Profile
Inner circle
North Adams Ma.
1576 Posts

Profile of johnnymystic
Quote:
On 2007-07-12 17:47, Stevethomas wrote:
Buy her a car.

Steve


Steve, she's only 9...Dad should wait until she's at least 10.

;)
I drink cheap tequila and vomit
<BR>I cannot eat hot wings...acid reflux
<BR>I never inhale Smile
<BR>I can put a field dress on a deer
Rupert Bair
View Profile
Inner circle
?
2113 Posts

Profile of Rupert Bair
Give her a set of ungimmicked ones. Tell her you'll talk to her again when she works it out.

M:C
Starrpower
View Profile
Inner circle
4070 Posts

Profile of Starrpower
Now, if only I could get my WIFE to threaten to not talk to me ... I'd figure out new methods for tricks she already knows!
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The little darlings » » My daughter won't talk to me ... (0 Likes)
 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2021 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.14 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL