The Magic Caf
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Table hoppers & party strollers » » Lines (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Christopher Lyle
View Profile
Inner circle
Dallas, Texas
5698 Posts

Profile of Christopher Lyle
So since Danny thinks I've got the sense of humor of a goat, let me ask...what are some lines that you guys use in your shows. I like the 1 liner approach for most of my stuff but am curious what works well for you guys.

One of my favorite lines I just heard again from Lee Asher's Announcements was what to say when someone says "Hey...can you make my wife disappear?" Two great responses would be:

1. You keep making comments like that and she will!
2. Are you kidding...I need all the audience I can get!

CLASSIC!!!!
In Mystery,


Christopher Lyle
Magician, Comic, Daredevil, and Balloon Twisting Genius
For a Good Time...CLICK HERE!
eztravlr
View Profile
New user
82 Posts

Profile of eztravlr
Old time favorite - "This is New Jersey. For a price, anyone can disappear." Just substitute where you're from.
Dannydoyle
View Profile
Eternal Order
20998 Posts

Profile of Dannydoyle
Could we all do me a favor and stop calling me out for no reason in threads?

Then people often complain when I bite back!
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Brett Meyer
View Profile
New user
Charleston, SC
35 Posts

Profile of Brett Meyer
Can you make my wife disappear??

Here's a good response...
"Yes, I can do that...but If I disappear at the same time, would you become suspicious?

Brett
We magicians are of a unique lot. We aspire to deceive. We are liars. We are cheats. We are con artists. We can not be trusted. But we mean well.
MagicSanta
View Profile
Inner circle
Northern Nevada
5845 Posts

Profile of MagicSanta
Goats are a fine animal.
meyegr
View Profile
Special user
Only able to muster
800 Posts

Profile of meyegr
Quote:
On 2007-08-22 02:58, MagicSanta wrote:
Goats are a fine animal.


Especially in Canada and Missouri (as opposed to Missoura)
Christopher Lyle
View Profile
Inner circle
Dallas, Texas
5698 Posts

Profile of Christopher Lyle
Nice Brett...I like that bit too!
In Mystery,


Christopher Lyle
Magician, Comic, Daredevil, and Balloon Twisting Genius
For a Good Time...CLICK HERE!
Bad to the Balloon
View Profile
Inner circle
Clearwater Florida
2116 Posts

Profile of Bad to the Balloon
Quote:
On 2007-08-21 23:44, lylemagic wrote:
"Hey...can you make my wife disappear?"


"Actually she already has a deposit on you, why do you think your here?"

"With an attitude like that it will happen soon enough"
Mark Byrne
AKA Mark the Balloon Guy
As seen on the TODAY SHOW
www.balloonguy.net
Creator of Bad to the Balloon DVD series
Go to my store: http://tinyurl.com/Bad2theBalloon
MAKMagic
View Profile
Special user
I got banned for one of my
555 Posts

Profile of MAKMagic
I always tell them "Too much paperwork" And while I haven't done it yet - I'll make up a little nonesense contract I can pull out at the time "Please fill this out Sir"
.:Michael Kelley
On the Level, By the Square
Dynamike
View Profile
Eternal Order
FullTimer
24148 Posts

Profile of Dynamike
People ask me what is the secret. I ask them if they can keep a secret. They tell me yes. I say, "I can too."

People tell me to change their one dollar bill into a hundred dollar bill. I say, " I would, but it is illegal, you could be undercover secret service." If I am set up I will do a switch.
karbonkid
View Profile
Special user
951 Posts

Profile of karbonkid
After I cough up a card..."What's wrong? You and I both know you can't catch herpes twice."
Cody S. Fisher
View Profile
V.I.P.
Austin, Texas
1194 Posts

Profile of Cody S. Fisher
I personally hate it when guys ask me to make their wife disappear! No matter how much she is smiling on the outside...on the inside she is probably not.

Having done strolling magic professionally for over a decade now…I have heard that line way too many times…and I have always been uncomfortable with it. Some situations aren’t as bad as others…but sometimes you can really see the humiliation in her face.

I have always treated this unfortunate situation by ignoring the statement and then immediately giving the woman a polite compliment...then carrying on with the magic.

This is what works best for me…

Cody S. Fisher
To Sign Up For My Members Only FREE Monthly Videos Visit: www.CodyFisher.com/store

Cody's Comedy Confabulation / Silk-2-Egg / Killer Prediction / Tossed Out Deck / Comedy Book Test / Las Vegas Aces / Three Ropes & 1000 Laughs
Christopher Lyle
View Profile
Inner circle
Dallas, Texas
5698 Posts

Profile of Christopher Lyle
I like the money line "I can change your $1 to a hundred but then I charge a $99 processing fee.

What about lines for "how do you do that?" I use:

1. Can you keep a secret? Yea...so can I!
2. I do it very well...thank you.
3. With my hands
4. I have no idea, my wife won't explain the tricks to me. Buggs me to death!

What do you guys say?
In Mystery,


Christopher Lyle
Magician, Comic, Daredevil, and Balloon Twisting Genius
For a Good Time...CLICK HERE!
graywolf
View Profile
Special user
South carolina
631 Posts

Profile of graywolf
I say I rather cut her in half,but then I do not know which half to keep the half that eats or the half that......This usually shut them up..Howard
Pete McEwen
View Profile
Special user
Durham, N.C.
576 Posts

Profile of Pete McEwen
I personally don't like it when people just ask workers for their lines. That's what makes someone. Everyone can do the same trick, they don't hire you for the tricks, they hire you to be YOU. I don't give away lines and I hate performing for magicians in case they steal them. I think you should work up your own lines so they are funny for you. Some of the lines suggested will only work for older people, try saying "Sure I can, but if I disappear at the same time would you become suspicious" if your a 17 year old kid. even 20 or so, you're liable to get hit or fired. Lines are made for the people that created them, that's why Gazzo has his lines, Eugene Burger has his, Matt Schulien has his, Eddie Fechter had his, David Williamson has his. You'll hear others do their lines and they just aren't funny. Don't take others lines, create your own so they are funny for you or else they aren't genuine and they'll never be funny.

Pete
The magician formerly known as SPEEDcuber
"no one will believe the things we do if we don't believe them ourselves." - Slydini
PeteMcEwen@mac.com
yin_howe
View Profile
Special user
Malaysia
869 Posts

Profile of yin_howe
I kinda agree with Pete SPEEDcuber, lines need to fit the character. Try to Be like GAzzo or anyone else other than yourself, your character, and others might get offended. You have to be careful with dirty jokes too depending on your audience.

However, I think asking for advice on what lines workers use is ok, IMHO, just try not to copy it word for word, and it need to fit you.

Posted: Aug 22, 2007 11:00pm
Quote:


On 2007-08-22 13:37, lylemagic wrote:
I like the money line "I can change your $1 to a hundred but then I charge a $99 processing fee.



Hehe, I like this one too.
"Talent without passion is talent wasted.."
https://www.youtube.com/user/yinhowe80/
Christopher Lyle
View Profile
Inner circle
Dallas, Texas
5698 Posts

Profile of Christopher Lyle
Speed...

I agree with you! I began this thread NOT to steal others lines but to see what other stuff people were using. Trying to start threads that haven't been done already that are a bit "LIGHTER" than the other threads I began (Sponge Bunnies, Lines, etc). Beginning to run out of ideas...

As for my lines, most of what I use is improved on the spot....
In Mystery,


Christopher Lyle
Magician, Comic, Daredevil, and Balloon Twisting Genius
For a Good Time...CLICK HERE!
Father Photius
View Profile
Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Just look at any old tired line used by Groucho, Henny Youngman, Bob Hope, or Jack Benny, then you have Milton Berle's act, and I steal all my material from that.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Table hoppers & party strollers » » Lines (0 Likes)
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2022 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.03 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL