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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Will they return? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

magicgeorge
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I arrived back from a wedding reception last night in a slightly sozzled state. My housemate came back from the pub a few minutes later.
I have been meaning to post a book all week and asked him if he had any cardboard boxes. He suggested just writing the address on the book and sticking a stamp to it. Delighted at his own ingenuity he decided to try it. Not to be outdone I wrote my own address on a banana and covered it in stamps. Seeing this, my housemate decided to up his game and set about affixing a stamp and address label to a piece of wholemeal bread.

A trip to the postbox was made and both items were duly posted.

Will they return?
If so, what will come back first the bread or the banana?

There's a tenner riding on it.

Feel free to place your own wagers.

George
Josh Riel
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I did the same thing, but with my neighbor (It was a lot of trouble getting him into the box, he is an ample gentleman).

Unfortunately I never was able to find out whether the post office would have delivered as he came back of his own volition. He was very angry, and was using a lot of postal lingo I didn't totally understand; "Pressing charges" and the like.
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
michaelmagicart
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Just a little trivia...Did you know you can actually mail a brick or stone through the U.S. Mail simply by putting the correct amount of postage on it? No box needed!
magicgeorge
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So what do you reckon about a banana? It's definitely somewhere in between brick and neighbour.
Bill Nuvo
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I like banana bread if that makes a difference
gaddy
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OH! the fun one can have with the mail! Until a postal inspector comes knocking at the door...
*due to The Magic Cafe's editorial policies, words on this site attributed to me cannot necessarily be held to be my own.*
Magnus Eisengrim
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Good thing you didn't have any fresh fish handy.

John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
Payne
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How about just writing your address on the back of a stamp and see if that gets through.
"America's Foremost Satirical Magician" -- Jeff McBride.
Bill
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Once upon a time, the Post Office prided themselves on being able to deliver just about anything. Neither snow, nor sleet, nor rain shall keep us..... and all that.

Now a days, like good little bureaucrats, any excuse to deny service is up for grabs. I'm talking about a trash can in front of the mail box (God forbid they'd have to get out of their little mail truck). In So.Cal they've even stopped delivering to your house mail box, now they have cluster boxes of about fifty or so.

I'm waiting for the day when mail will be available on Wednesday only, and no home delivery. Postage? About $5.00 per stamp.

So if you sent a banana here, it'd go into the post office ether...no one working there will have any clue as to it's where abouts.

I really hate the post office.
GlenD
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Bananas... reminds me of Vanishing Bandanna. Then you have bill in lemon. Hmmm, I wonder how many effects there are that involve fruit or even vegetables?
"A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway" - Griffin

"Any future where you succeed, is one where you tell the truth." - Griffin (Griffin rocks!)
magicgeorge
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Okay, neither have returned. Both where posted first class 5 days ago. So I think it's probably fair to say you can't post a banana or a piece of bread and expect it to get there.
ClintonMagus
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When I was in college I started receiving lots of junk mail bordering on porn. Not knowing what to do about it, the college postmaster advised me to wrap a concrete "cap block" in brown paper, stick the prepaid reply envelope to the front, make sure my return address was plainly visible, and mail it. It never took more than two of these for the junk mail to stop.

Back in the 70s, I think first class shipping on an item this heavy was in the $40 range.
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
magicgeorge
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Genius
spatlind
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Well I worked in Direct Mail for years. Don't blame us, we were a fulfilment company, don't shoot the messenger. Anyhows, a certain world famous beer decided to start sending out a loyalty magazine, the first issue of which had a picture of Lara Croft, from the video game on the front cover. There wasn't a lot to the content, just competitions, movie and game news and so on. We handled the return post also, cleaning their data of undelivered items etc. One day the girl who was handling this opened a large brown envelope and looked inside to find

a) a copy of the magazine, opened, but put back into its mailing bag, with recipients name and address still attached.
b) a big steaming turd
c) a note saying "I've received your s**t, now you can have some of mine"!

Given that said idiot left his name and address in the envelope I'm sure he wasn't surprised to get a visit from the authorities. Maybe he was surprised, never heard what happened. Looking back it was quite funny, but not for the girl in question on the day!
Actions lie louder than words - Carolyn Wells

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature - Frank Lloyd Wright.
ed rhodes
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Quote:
On 2008-06-01 20:13, Bill wrote:
Once upon a time, the Post Office prided themselves on being able to deliver just about anything. Neither snow, nor sleet, nor rain shall keep us..... and all that.


Harlan Ellison tells a story about a time when there were TWO mail deliveries a day! He sent a story out with the morning delivery, it was read and criquited by the magazine he was submitting it to and was returned to him on the afternoon delivery the same day!
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
stoneunhinged
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George, in your state of inebriation, did you remember to write return addresses on the items? I bet that explains things. I mean, I only know one way to effectively write an address on a piece of wholemeal bread, and it involves using bodily fluids after drinking at least 10 pints of Guinness. Not that I'd know anything personally about what happens after drinking 10 pints of Guinness.
spatlind
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Quote:
On 2008-06-05 12:42, stoneunhinged wrote:
Not that I'd know anything personally about what happens after drinking 10 pints of Guinness.


You order number 11.. Smile

:stout:
Actions lie louder than words - Carolyn Wells

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature - Frank Lloyd Wright.
stoneunhinged
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Yeah, but only when I need that...little extra something.
Magnus Eisengrim
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Quote:
On 2008-06-05 12:55, stoneunhinged wrote:
Yeah, but only when I need that...little extra something.



:stout:

LOL

JOhn
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
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