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Art190
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Elite user
447 Posts

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Good luck with this. I took one of these babies last year for my Health and Safety class. The baby cried all night and I could not sleep. I too had the brace on my arm so that only I could take care of it.

Art
Patrick Differ
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Inner circle
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Feed it.
Wash it.
Leave its diaper off for as long as you can.
Rock it to sleep.
Play with it. Play with it some more.
Talk to it. Talk to it some more.

Welcome to the real world.
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
Josh Chaikin
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Kansas City
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Quote:
On 2008-06-02 22:26, Michaelmystic2003 wrote:
Ok, I've been rocking this thing for half an hour straight and every time I stop rocking it, it immediately starts crying again. Gah.

Tape the baby to the washing machine and start the spin cycle. Problem solved.
rossmacrae
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Arlington, Virginia
2448 Posts

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Quote:
On 2008-06-03 00:52, Patrick Differ wrote:
Feed it.
Wash it.
Leave its diaper off for as long as you can.
Rock it to sleep.
Play with it. Play with it some more.
Talk to it. Talk to it some more.

Welcome to the real world.

Each real baby (they come later, sometimes by surprise) equals

a gazillion dollars you could have spent goin' out with yer budz...

3 years of being up to your elbows in baby poo multiple times a day...

endless repeats of vapid kid movies instead of anything an adult can watch without gagging...

18 to 21 years of real feelings (thought you were having those already? Naaaaah...) alternating between joy, pride, confusion and terror...

the complete abandonment of all those resolutions you made in younger years ("when I grow up I sure won't say that to my kids." Yes you will, and you'll mean it.)

taking pity on your wife and tackling the 4am feedings. (Actually I parlayed a combo here ... I'll do the 4am feedings, and we're watching what I want to watch. My kids grew up on CONAN THE BARBARIAN. Result: happy and grateful wife, and a 17-year-old who joins me for the last hour of HOSTEL 2 and shrieks like a gleeful maniac playing GRAND THEFT AUTO 4 ... did you know that in GTA 4 you could, when bored, steal a helicopter and jump from 1000 feet in the air to a grisly death just to watch it happen?)

---------------------

Of course it's not the same with a hunk of plastic and circuits, but the real thing is the thrill-ride of a lifetime. Don't leave all the baby-spawning to others, we need the best and the brightest to reproduce too.
pepka
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Uh, I'm the one on the right.
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Simulator babies can be a real wake up call. You should have thought about all this before you had simulated sex.
Josh Chaikin
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Kansas City
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Hmm, good point. Michael, tape yourself to the washing machine too!
ed rhodes
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Rhode Island
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Quote:
On 2008-06-02 22:26, Michaelmystic2003 wrote:
Ok, I've been rocking this thing for half an hour straight and every time I stop rocking it, it immediately starts crying again. Gah.


See, I never got the "fake baby class" thing. I had to wait until I had REAL kids. I think forty-five minutes was the record for crying and only stopping while I was actually rocking them. (To this day, my kids have an aversion to the song "I Will," it and "Once Upon A Dream" were the only things I could think to sing. They don't seem to mind "Once Upon A Dream" so much.)
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
Sealegs
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The UK, Portsmouth
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I think it was Carrot Top who I saw with just the thing for you.

Put a goldfish bowl over the baby's head....that way you can see it crying but thankfully can't hear it.

Neal
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
michaelmystic2003
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Updates... so... tired... Waking up in the middle of the night to a screaming fake baby (and these things are LOUD) and having to rock it for an upwards of 30 minutes. I ended up breaking down and using the emergency shut-off after the first few times. It did it nearly every hour.
Follow Michael Kras on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/KrasMagic

Check out The Kras Change at Vanishing Inc Magic! http://www.vanishingincmagic.com/magic-downloads/ebooks/kras-change/
JRob
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Veteran user
Central South Carolina
395 Posts

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See if Gallagher still has any of those Sledge-O-Matics lying around
"Jim Roberts, AKA: Professor Jay Rob "<br>
The Professor's Facebook Page
DStachowiak
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Baltimore, MD
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Take a hint from my parents' generation, and tell it you're going to give it something to REALLY cry about...
Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a comb across m' head.
michaelmystic2003
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Thank God, the baby is gone!!! I will put together my video journal tonight.
Follow Michael Kras on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/KrasMagic

Check out The Kras Change at Vanishing Inc Magic! http://www.vanishingincmagic.com/magic-downloads/ebooks/kras-change/
Al Angello
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Eternal Order
Collegeville, Pa. USA
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Michael
Each one of those little suckers equals 20 years out of your life that you can not entertain any selfish thoughts, which is why I started my career in entertainment at the age of 42 when I first became able to entertain selfish thoughts.

The moral of the story is only have kids after you are tired of partying, or you will become a 60 year old man (like me) trying to catch up.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Dannydoyle
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Eternal Order
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Quote:
On 2008-06-03 11:27, Michaelmystic2003 wrote:
Thank God, the baby is gone!!!


How many parents have uttered those exact words would be an interesting statistic.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
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