The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Idiot Sightings (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3~4 [Next]
spatlind
View Profile
Special user
still moving
863 Posts

Profile of spatlind
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 08:41, magicgeorge wrote:

Sometimes I divide the circumference by the diameter but that's only if I feel like a pizza pi.

George


Classic Smile

:stout:
Actions lie louder than words - Carolyn Wells

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature - Frank Lloyd Wright.
Scott Cram
View Profile
Inner circle
2677 Posts

Profile of Scott Cram
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 08:41, magicgeorge wrote:

Sometimes I divide the circumference by the diameter but that's only if I feel like a pizza pi.

George


This reminds me of the opposite of a an idiot sighting (genius sighting?). There was a guy with some friends who went to a pizza parlor. They ordered a 12" pizza, but it was mistakenly delivered to someone else. They offered the guy and his buddies two 8" pizzas instead. This guy then used geometry to figure ou......ood deal!
spatlind
View Profile
Special user
still moving
863 Posts

Profile of spatlind
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 12:52, Scott Cram wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 08:41, magicgeorge wrote:

Sometimes I divide the circumference by the diameter but that's only if I feel like a pizza pi.

George


This reminds me of the opposite of a an idiot sighting (genius sighting?). There was a guy with some friends who went to a pizza parlor. They ordered a 12" pizza, but it was mistakenly delivered to someone else. They offered the guy and his buddies two 8" pizzas instead. This guy then used geometry to figure ou......ood deal!


Saw that on tv once. Interesting expose of how people love a "special offer"!
Actions lie louder than words - Carolyn Wells

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature - Frank Lloyd Wright.
Tom Fenton
View Profile
Inner circle
Leeds, UK (but I'm Scottish)
1471 Posts

Profile of Tom Fenton
A student pilot where I used to work once made an aircraft unserviceable because the radio "didn't work in the O, F, F position".
"But there isn't a door"
EsnRedshirt
View Profile
Special user
Newark, CA
895 Posts

Profile of EsnRedshirt
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 05:50, ed rhodes wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 02:17, LobowolfXXX wrote:
Domino's is on the idiot list for worse than that...there's no such thing as a small pizza; their two sizes are medium & large. Which makes one wonder what "medium" is in reference to, since it comes from the root suggesting the one in the middle. I've actually dealt with managers who would rather lose the sale than admit that their "medium" is really a small.

Similarly, few things peeve me more than restaurants that call their 3 drink sizes something like "large, extra large, and jumbo" so when you order a large, reasonably expecting to get the biggest size they have, instead you get a 10 oz thing that doesn't last 30 seconds.


OK, if you see "large, extra large and jumbo" on the menu, you'd have to assume that "large" is actually going to be the smallest size you get.

Well, if you order soft drinks outside America, you frequently get a tiny (by US standards) 6-8 oz. cup. So, if you count things globally, in the US, the smallest is pretty large.

What I really hate are those companies that, as policy, refuse to refer to any of their sizes in English. You know which ones I'm talking about-

Me: "I'd like a small coffee..."
Them: "We don't have small. We have 'Grande', 'Enorme', and 'Groot'."
Me: "Those are all just 'big' in different languages!"
Them: "Well, those are our sizes."
Me: "Okay, I'll have the smallest size coffee you've got."
Them: "One 'Grande pianura caffe', is that correct?"
Me: "I think so... you do sell coffee here, right?"
We then both look at each other, wondering which one is the idiot...

-Erik
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.

* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt.
LobowolfXXX
View Profile
Inner circle
La Famiglia
1197 Posts

Profile of LobowolfXXX
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 05:50, ed rhodes wrote:

OK, if you see "large, extra large and jumbo" on the menu, you'd have to assume that "large" is actually going to be the smallest size you get.


Agreed, if you see it, but if you hit a drive-thru in a hurry, you should be able to order a burger and a large coke and expect to get the biggest one; you shouldn't have to scour the menu to see what clever name they thought up, or to be concerned that the "large" might actually be the "small."
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
LobowolfXXX
View Profile
Inner circle
La Famiglia
1197 Posts

Profile of LobowolfXXX
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 10:33, Leland Stone wrote:
Several years ago I was pulled over for expired tags on my truck. I explained to the officer that I'd mailed the renewal fee to the DMV and showed him the registered mail return receipt, signed by a clerk at the DMV, along with a photocopy of the cheque I'd sent.

The officer looked at my paperwork and said, "Okay, this proves they got it, but it doesn't prove you sent it."

Later, the judge sorta smirked as he dismissed the case.



To play devil's advocate, you COULD (though I wouldn't recommend it) write a check, photocopy, and shred it, then send a blank piece of paper with a return receipt requested. I actually worked for a guy who wrote a rent check, photocopied it, destroyed it, then got very indignant with his landlord..."I know you always pull $#@& like that, so I copied the check before I sent it to you..."
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
S2000magician
View Profile
Inner circle
Yorba Linda, CA
3465 Posts

Profile of S2000magician
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 01:38, Dustin Baker wrote:
I think we would . . . but I might be wrong.

As I recall, Adolf Hitler refused to shake Jesse Owens' hand when he (Owens) won four gold medals at the 1936 Summer Games in Berlin.
Magnus Eisengrim
View Profile
Inner circle
Sulla placed heads on
1064 Posts

Profile of Magnus Eisengrim
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 13:42, S2000magician wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 01:38, Dustin Baker wrote:
I think we would . . . but I might be wrong.

As I recall, Adolf Hitler refused to shake Jesse Owens' hand when he (Owens) won four gold medals at the 1936 Summer Games in Berlin.


Was this an attempt to be playful? In the Wikepedia article, Owens is quoted as saying

"When I passed the Chancellor he arose, waved his hand at me, and I waved back at him. I think the writers showed bad taste in criticizing the man of the hour in Germany."

And

"Hitler didn't snub me—it was FDR who snubbed me. The president didn't even send me a telegram."

John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
balducci
View Profile
Loyal user
Canada
230 Posts

Profile of balducci
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 13:42, S2000magician wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 01:38, Dustin Baker wrote:
I think we would . . . but I might be wrong.

As I recall, Adolf Hitler refused to shake Jesse Owens' hand when he (Owens) won four gold medals at the 1936 Summer Games in Berlin.

I already addressed this myth / urban legend / historical confusion in the ongoing Olympics thread in this very forum.

Also see: http://hnn.us/articles/571.html
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
LobowolfXXX
View Profile
Inner circle
La Famiglia
1197 Posts

Profile of LobowolfXXX
Two years later, Hitler reputedly had radio transmissions of the Louis-Schmeling fight cut, when it was clear that it was going to be a bad night for Germany. If so, that's some fast-actin'; Schmeling didn't last through the first round.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
Clock
View Profile
Elite user
Los Angeles, CA
460 Posts

Profile of Clock
My brother ordered a 10 piece nuggets meal at Mcdonald's and only got 8...He told the worker, who proceeded to the back to add the extra nuggets. Now there are only 9. He asks the manager, who apologizes... he now received 12!

I know the manager was being nice, but it's funny that even with 3 tries Mcdonald's could not get a 10 piece nugget order correct!

Now I'm hungry...
Grant Carden

www.fastcompanydvd.com
abc
View Profile
Inner circle
South African in Taiwan
1081 Posts

Profile of abc
This may not be as humorous to the American population on the board.
In Taiwan most people can speak very little English so if you really want to get around you need to speak to Chinese. The following conversation has happened to either me or one of my best friends (a Canadian who speak much better Chinese than I do) on numerous occasions
Me or my friend: Do you have .....(in Chinese)
Him: I no English.
Me: I know. I am speaking Chinese. Do you have ......(again all in Chinese)
Him: (turns to another person and says in Chinese) what is he saying? I can't speak English.
Other person: He is speaking Chinese.
Him: But foreigners can't speak Chinese. Can you help him.
Other person: Sure.
At the conclusion of the purchase after obviously hearing the conversation between me and the other person all in Chinese the following conversation takes place in some form or the other again all in Chinese.
Him: Can you speak Chinese?
Me: No, I can't.
Him: My friends English is very good right?
Me: Excellent.
remf3
View Profile
New user
Novato, California
67 Posts

Profile of remf3
Working in a California ER can be tough if you don't speak at least a bit of Spanish. Over the years my co-workers and I have picked up bits and pieces that can be helpful.

One day he was talking to a Spanish speaking patient and was trying to explain to the patient that the wait would be a little longer. Over and over again he would explain what was going on, in what he thought was his best Spanish, and the patient would just look at him quizzically.

I finally listened in to try and help and could only offer the astute observation "You're speaking German, moron."

"Ein minuten, Senor" just wasn't cutting it.
S2000magician
View Profile
Inner circle
Yorba Linda, CA
3465 Posts

Profile of S2000magician
Quote:
On 2008-06-06 15:52, Magnus Eisengrim wrote:
Was this an attempt to be playful?

Yes.

I'd heard many times the story of Hitler refusing to shake hands with Owens and figured that most people here had as well.

Just a little irony to brighten everyone's day.
ed rhodes
View Profile
Inner circle
Rhode Island
2758 Posts

Profile of ed rhodes
Quote:
On 2008-06-05 15:55, Michael Baker wrote:
1) I was hired to work a private party in an area of a local theme park set aside for such events. This was in the few days following 9-11, when security was tightened up everywhere like a rubberband on meth.

Naturally, they were searching every bag, purse, container, etc. that entered the park.

Well, with the need for extra security personnel, it stands to reason that some made the cut just because the quota needed filling in a hurry.

The guy that started searching my bag, saw all my props (which needless to say are not what one would expect to find), so he basically flipped out! You would have thought he'd discovered all of Saddam's WMD's. He started to ask me what all this was, so I told him who I was, why I was there. and that these were my magic props.

He pushed the bag back in my hands and said, "I don't know nuthin' about no magic tricks!"

And he let me through. Would have been a good day to be a terrorist.


Genii had a story about a magician who tried to board a flight pre-9/11. The scanners picked up what was in his bag and they asked him to open it. A knife, a gun (blank starter's pistol) a rubber hand and various other odd pieces. They asked what all this was for and he responded; "I'm a magician."

They let him through.
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
stoneunhinged
View Profile
Inner circle
3079 Posts

Profile of stoneunhinged
Quote:
On 2008-06-07 00:34, abc wrote:
This may not be as humorous to the American population on the board.
In Taiwan most people can speak very little English so if you really want to get around you need to speak to Chinese. The following conversation has happened to either me or one of my best friends (a Canadian who speak much better Chinese than I do) on numerous occasions
Me or my friend: Do you have .....(in Chinese)
Him: I no English.
Me: I know. I am speaking Chinese. Do you have ......(again all in Chinese)
Him: (turns to another person and says in Chinese) what is he saying? I can't speak English.
Other person: He is speaking Chinese.
Him: But foreigners can't speak Chinese. Can you help him.
Other person: Sure.
At the conclusion of the purchase after obviously hearing the conversation between me and the other person all in Chinese the following conversation takes place in some form or the other again all in Chinese.
Him: Can you speak Chinese?
Me: No, I can't.
Him: My friends English is very good right?
Me: Excellent.


Been there, done that. Great story.

"But foreigners can't speak [insert language here]" is something I've experienced in many places.

And it's pretty idiotic.
Michael Baker
View Profile
Eternal Order
Near a river in the Midwest
11161 Posts

Profile of Michael Baker
Quote:
On 2008-06-07 10:51, ed rhodes wrote:

Genii had a story about a magician who tried to board a flight pre-9/11. The scanners picked up what was in his bag and they asked him to open it. A knife, a gun (blank starter's pistol) a rubber hand and various other odd pieces. They asked what all this was for and he responded; "I'm a magician."

They let him through.


I was detained flying in from France when the scanner picked up a purse frame lying partially on top of a jumbo coin. After a thorough search of the bag and realizing what it was, they told me it looked like a grenade to them.

Don't you just love magic props?
~michael baker
The Magic Company
Destiny
View Profile
Inner circle
1429 Posts

Profile of Destiny
Working in an Australian wildlife park a lady from California said to me,

'Oh - you have kangaroos here. We visited Austria two years ago and never saw one.'

Destiny
MagicSanta
View Profile
Inner circle
Northern Nevada
5845 Posts

Profile of MagicSanta
Thanks to those pointing out that Hitler was a good guy and FDR and evil racist. Way to go guys! Wow, that was very thought provoking and inspirational.

Now for my own encounters with idiocy:

1. I went to the drug store to pick up my wifes prescription, she is on 30 different prescriptions and she had asked me to make sure It was the right one because the drug store often auto filled them and missed the urgent ones. The conversation went:

me: What is the prescription you have ready for my wife?
Drug clerk: I'm sorry I can't tell you because of HEPA
me: You can't tell me if it is drug x?
drug clerk: No, it isn't any of your concern and we protect the privacy of our patients.
me: Oh, okay, can I'll just take whatever you have
drug clerk: Here you go, four bucks
me: So let me get this straight, you won't tell me the name of a prescription but you'll let me, a person you have never seen before, buy someones prescription w/out any ID or permission?
Drug clerk: yes.


2. At my new company I found out the clerks had to make a special delivery to a customer every night. I happen to drive past it on the way home so I told them I'd drop 'em off to save them the time and I'd go over, beat on the door and ring the bell at the customer until someone opened up and signed for the stuff. I did this for a month or so and once while waiting for the door to open a truck pulled up and the driver looked at me, walked over, and opened the door! In all that time I never once thought about checking to see if it was locked.

In my defense where I come from no company would allow a non lobby door to be open like that, here in Reno it is hard to find a locked door it seems
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Idiot Sightings (0 Likes)
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3~4 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2021 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.23 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL