I am going to buy a cheap accordian. Set up in a chair with a sign that reads: "Put money in the hat and I won't play."

HAHHA! I love that!

Toys R us has the accordian you are looking for Mr. Biro.
I had one myself to play Irish Traditional tunes.

I think Pete needs a great honkin' Hohner accordion -- one that looks like it could really do some DAMAGE.

Bagpipes will work waaaay better. In fact, PM me your address. I'll send you some money now not to play.

Q: What's 'perfect pitch'?

A: An accordian landing on a bagpipe in a dumpster!

A friend of mine was qwite excited about his instant busker kit. It is a self playing accordian. All you have to do is pump it pretend your playing it, ie wiggle your fingers and smile as the theme music to the God farther bellows out.
As much as I dislike accordians I could not help but appreciate this expensive piece of crap. Now when I see a busker playing accordian and if they sound a bit good I all ways take close look just in case.
Keep an eye out.
Mario

In one of the Laurel and Hardy movies, the 2 awful musicians are interrupted by a woman who shouts "how much do you make at this corner?" They say "50 cents"; and she says "here's 50 cents, move down to the other corner". or something like that... it's been a few years since I saw the movie.

Indeed here in San Francisco’s Financial District
there is a bagpipe player, with a singular lack of talent.

He plays are an intersection where office workers like to enjoy their lunch and coffee on the street near a famous statue, and will STOP playing every time someone gives him a five-dollar bill.

I suspect he makes a fine living by keeping silent during the lunch rush and coffee breaks.

I believe I know of several magicians who could also make a handsome living by offering not to perform in public….

Magically,
Walt

funniest joke I've heard in weeks!

Pete:

I play an Hohner Panther, I love it.
It keeps the cats away and does not scare the dog as much as my violin playing.

Tony

I once left my accordian in my car unlocked. I came back and there were four more in there!

What's the difference between an accordian and an onion? Nobody cries when you cut up an accordian!

Best,

Dan-

You may joke, but in the middle of Tralee, County Kerry, (Ireland) I saw a drunk playing a 6 string guitar with only 4 strings on, and he was using a credit card cut into a very large V shape as a plectrum. He was absolutely useless. Out of tune, no rhythm, - just a drunk with NO musical leanings.

And people were dropping cash in his basket.

Un-believable!

I just thought - it could have been MUCH worse! He could have had a drum kit!

DCB

In 1992, the second time I was in Berlin, I was strolling through Europa Zentrum and I saw the worst excuse for this kind of thing I have ever seen in my life.

No, it wasn't a crate slug.

It was a little Gypsy boy, couldn't have been more than 3 years old, sitting on the sidewalk with an out of tune mandolin in his lap. He was strumming the strings loudly with one hand, and had his other hand stretched upward for money.

He had a very sad expression on his face. They start them young and train them well.

Reminds me of the busker who won his case in Alexandria, VA. He was a bagpipe player. Seems like if he could win his case, if would be a breeze for a magician.

Bill, what's a "crate slug" please? From the context I guess it's a person sitting by watching the show and not not contributing any donation. How good a guess is that?

Crate slug= people standing on crates such as living statues, etc.

Pete -

If you want to go "classic", you could always make or obtain a Rommelpot.

After all, Danish buskers would go door to door playing this (sometimes referred to as the f*rt drum due to its, uh, distinctive sound) until they were given money to GO AWAY.

... I've actually done that at a few Renaissance Faires. *oomph-phrmph-wrmfph-frmf* "o/` Gimme a dollar and I'll stop playing! o/`"

I remember Douglas Adams had a bit in one of his "Hitchhiker's" books where the hero and his girlfriend were walking through the park. In the background was a bagpipes player who kept getting angry at the audience; "No! Don't give me money! I'm not performing, I'm only practicing!"

And then there's the classic "Far Side" cartoon; Upper panel, a line of angels; "Welcome to heaven, here's your harp." Lower panel, a line of devils; "welcome to 4377, here's your accordian!"